Day 188,341 from loveandgratitude's blog

Just kidding. Blah blah blah to come! Hmmm. I would like to start a blog about the experiences of a single woman who puts herself out there for love. There are a lot of us. We are doubted my many. Those who have come before us have broken a lot of hearts. We are questioned, even often interrogated. I suppose self-doubt is normal all the way around. Can you imagine things growing organically and openly? If you can, that’s great. Really, this needs to be done with resumes. People say things like about telling them your hobbies and how they will benefit the family in order to be “considered.” I just think it sounds funny. Considered. A job. Being a sister wife or in any form of polyamory is a job. We might as well be sitting in a waiting room with our lists of recommendations. And that goes on on both sides. I can try to wish it were different, but I guess this is our reality. Let’s do it with more warmth. Easier said than done. We get pressured. Sometimes we are inundated by emails. Sometimes we have zero. That almost compounds the feeling of pressure. On ourselves to be successful in love, loneliness. It’s like ”Hey wait, I am cute. Where did everybody go? How do I prove myself? Do I need to be cuter? Have more money? Where have I gone wrong?” It’s a silly thing, but so many of us feel it. Hmmmm. Plural love. Plural marriage. I was at dinner with the in-laws (if you read my profile, you’ll see I’ve been widowed 14 years. But the in-laws are always in-laws!). They started talking about polygamists in Utah. The typical talk: Disgust over FLDS. I looked over to my 17 year old daughter (who knows all about my beliefs and my search), and I opened my eyes widely to speak to her. I shaked my head. I thought, “Will you Stop speaking about the stereotypes from tv? This is different. What will happen when I meet the right family? Will they think I am even more of a weirdo? Will they talk about the Bible and monogamy? Will I have to go further into polygamy being normal in the Bible or keep my mouth shut? Will I just present it as ‘none of your business?’ Will they be disgusted?” That’s the internal pressure. Let. Me. Breathe. Love is freedom. Allowing oneself to believe in abundance. No limits to joy. Giving oneself the freedom to just live. Just be. Be love. Sigh. I know I am a romantic. But I am indeed alone. Climbing the rungs of self knowledge to the heights of sharing lives together. Those are my thoughts of the day.

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Feb 24 '19
Good post. I agree that the process can be frustrating and also lament the necessity of the proverbial interview process. For my own part I think it is better to try getting out a tonne of information via normal conversation so that a single woman may tick various boxes that they have in their own figurative...or perhaps literal...applicaton forms for learning about men and their families.Fortunately I am quite talkative so I end up having to spend a fair amount of time getting a woman to talk about herself enough to draw something of an accurate picture of who she is as a person rather than the other way around. I am lucky though in that my wives can chat with a woman as well and help to get different perspectives on if there might be a match or not. Like yourself I think that a proverbial interrogation is a bad idea and that some of the verbiage used is a bit ill-considered. The unfortunate thing is that as the results of the mutual interviews is so very important to all parties, there does not seem to be any alternative to going through the steps. We just all need to try to make the process as friendly and easy as possible for everyone. It was quite interesting to hear about a woman experience from someone other than one of my wives who I met on a plig site and who got the barrage of emails from hopeful couples. I know the process can certainly make some women feel put off whether it is from those who will not accept a simple thank you but I am not interested to occasional flat our creeper types. By the same token it can be frustrating on the family side of the coin with so many unanswered inquiries and obvious scammers and the occasional hurtful catfish or game player. I wish I had a bright idea about how to make the process more smooth but till someone reinvents this wheel we all have to go through the process. Hopefully in the end thiugh we will all find what we are seeking. I can tell you though, it certainly can be worth all the various machinations that we have to go through. Plural marriage really is great.Good post. I agree that the process can be frustrating and also lament the necessity of the proverbial interview process. For my own part I think it is better to try getting out a tonne of information...See more
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By loveandgratitude
Added Sep 13 '18


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