Day 300,678 from loveandgratitude's blog

What are red flags? Yellow flags? White? Do we create issues that aren’t even there because we are scared? Think about it. Everyone has a goal. A relationship they seek. Is it ok to go into the world blind in this lifestyle? What do people truly need to prepare? Do extended families need to know the plan? What secrets must you keep from the world in order to live a polygamist or polyamorous life? Is everyone on the same page or do some people not know their own page? What is self sabotage? I always question doubts. My own. Those of others. At what point does everyone go forward in the same direction? I agree that communication is everything. I think we all do.

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Sep 21 '18

PaulRoseCurran

Very good sweetie. Questions ofnlife best answered by experiences of the soul and heart. Not another experience perceived

Feb 24 '19

Familyfocused

That is a bunch...my two cents in order. Red flags to me are anything that gives you the impression that this person could be a danger to your family. There are those who for some reason will will stalk plural marriage people so as to doxx them and attempt to harm them because they have such strong negative feelings about plural marriage. That and kust like with normal mono dating and marriage, nobody wishes to end up stuck with a lunatic who can just manage to conceal their problems for a time. Yellow flags...huge list. Not wishing to make solid contact, say for example a video chat within a reasonable period, those who do not respect precautionary limits and restrictions, those who will not answer direct and specific questions...dont mean what is your full name and your address level personal stuff but reflections about the normal getting to know you sort of stiff, those who wish to discuss really overt sexual matters before all parties are on that same page, being focused on the sexual side of relationships and not having any interest in discussing any other topics, people who seem waaay too impulsive and who are 100% new to the idea of plural marriage but who are ready to make what should be a life long commitment immediately, women who are running from a bad situation and who see a plural family as some sort of temporary haven...i could go on and on honestly. White flags... honesty, openness, a willingness to come right out and say to a prospective partner 'hey, these are my faults and you should know about them if we are to have a shot together, someone who is not wishing to enter plural marriage on a when because it is becoming trendy...rather someone who has been thinking this through and done a bunch of soul searching, someone who is looking for intimacy outside of the bedroom and bot just from their mate, someone who you can see as a mother/father to your children, someone who can make you laugh and someone who could be your friend. Do we create nonexistent issues because of fear??? I expect so but by the same token I can tell you that being incautious and ending up flooding a partner in a plural marriage is devastating so I would council judicious caution. What do people need to do to prepare (for living in plural marriage)? I would say a tonne of thinking and self examination. Just to name one prevalent issue that most plural marriages face, how are you going to cope with jealousy? Obviously there is the jealousy over the physical side of marriage that the woman need to contend with but just as important and lessvdiscussed is jealous feelings over the other sorts of intimacy within a marriage. Will you get upset that your new husband has a long history and years of precious memories with his first wife for example? Will another wife get upset because she does not share the love of cooking that you and your new husband have? You will each have your ways off connecting with him and will feel pants of envy or you will feel happy that they are sharing this loving moment...which will it be? Lots more to it than those few examples though. Do extended families need to know the plan...I imagine that is more an individual thing. My family and friends knew but neither of my wives families knew in advance but one supports us 100% and the other is accustomed but still does not get it. What secrets must you keep? Only those that protect your family but that is just me. Is everyone on the same page...sometimes yes but often no. That is why it is everyone's job to be open and honest as well as to beat that communication drum. There were other questions but I have probably nattered on enough.That is a bunch...my two cents in order. Red flags to me are anything that gives you the impression that this person could be a danger to your family. There are those who for some reason will will sta...See more

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By	loveandgratitude
Added	Sep 21 '18

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