Hard-earned lessons and far-fetched Hopes from StationaryGypsy's blog

So I was raised in a quite harmonious plural marriage, my mothers are best friends, and I have always been inspired by their relationship at my deepest levels. I consider myself marvelously fortunate to have grown up with not one, or two, but three individuals nurturing me: and made myself a student of that example throughout my life.
My divorce from my ex finalized in May 2015 when I was 21, and I've been a single mother to my two kids ever since. Our relationship was monogamous, and he's out of the picture completely.
I've tried to get to know 4 couples throughout the 4 years I've been a single mom. I'm finding a pretty unique challenge with plural dating. Seems that in today's world it's hard enough to find one person you're truly compatible with. Finding two or more? Yeesh. I've fallen in love with polygamist men but not had compatibility with their wife or wives, while on the other hand, I've found my absolute soul-sister and lifelong best friend in a plural wife but had no compatibility or connection with her husband. Add into this mix that I've got two kiddos and we share a pretty comfortable life together. So they'd have to be compatible with both individuals as well. 
Honestly, I've given up. I'm taking 2019 to build my career and refine my parenting even further.  The kids and I have had quite a few heartaches and I've decided we're content alone.
But then there's another part of me whisperin' don't close yourself off, don't give up hope for a miracle. That whisper is why this profile is here on this site.
Here's the dream, and it's a bit far fetched.
-A husband I've got an instant connection with. That feeling of familiarity that seems to suggest we already knew each other before we came to this Earth.
-A sister that I can grow old with, raising babies and grandbabies, laughing about that difficult man of ours. Her and I will show the world that Soul Mates don't always have to come in the form of a lover. They can be in the form of an animal, a place, and in our case: a best friend and sister in marriage. 
-These two (or more) people and their children falling in love with my boys, and feeling a calling to adopt them, and raise them with me with the same love they have for their own biological children.

Unfortunately these aren't just wants, they are the very few things I am unwilling compromise on: they are needs. I have done a whole lot of settling. I don't know if what the kids and I need exists. But if it doesn't, then I'll keep on keepin' on alone because I cannot settle ever again. Doing so is a disservice to all involved.
I'll try to keep a little bit of an ember of faith burning in the fireplace, and leave this profile here to see if the man upstairs decides to work a miracle.
Next post, I'll write some about what I can offer a family or relationship. What I bring to the table.


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Comments

DanSmith
Feb 18
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry that it's been a difficult journey, but I know God cares and leads all His children. I came from a background in polygamy as well and it can be one of the most nurturing, close-knit families someone could experience.

I'm glad that you won't allow your standards to be compromised, especially when it comes to your children. If that ends up meaning that you're going to be alone, well, there were other choice men/women that were alone as well... but hopefully God opens up the path for you to find the man that fulfills all of this for you.

I'll be praying for you!
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry that it's been a difficult journey, but I know God cares and leads all His children. I came from a background in polygamy as well and it can be one of the most...See more
StationaryGypsy
Feb 18
Hey there Dan,
Thanks for reading, and for commenting. I appreciate the insights, validation, and most importantly the offered prayers. My best to you and yours in all of your journey's and ambitions, spiritual or otherwise.
Ashley
Jdplus8at38
Mar 1
Everything you have said is interesting, totally valid and inspiring. - Jen
Noblebeau
Mar 11
Fantastic thoughts from a heartfelt moment. Very insightful and self aware. For such a young woman you are incredibly mature and thoughtful. The important thing to remember is those two boys are your world and they rely on you and love you. It sounds like they are lucky boys indeed.Fantastic thoughts from a heartfelt moment. Very insightful and self aware. For such a young woman you are incredibly mature and thoughtful. The important thing to remember is those two boys are your ...See more
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By StationaryGypsy
Added Feb 18

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