More Building and Less Bickering from Un1ty's blog

Transparency is everything..it protects and builds all parties the entire time.


Thoughts?



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theoneo
Feb 15
In my opinion, trust should be effortless in a good relationship. A need or desire for transparency generally indicates that there is a lack of trust, usually stemming one or more fears. Like when a child does something wrong, the parents are afraid they will be hurt, so they add more controls until the child has proven they've learned a lesson and can be trusted again and the parent's fears are alayed. Without concrete evidence distrust starts from within, from our fears and our need to feel safe. As adults, we cannot apply childish controls to each other. Instead we need to start from the assumption that our partners are reasonable and positive and that their intentions are good. If we can't see the good intentions, then we should ask them, and allow them to explain. If it was a mistake we should forgive them as we hope they would forgive us. If we don't understand, then we should try to see things as they see them. They say trust is earned, but that shouldn't be a chore but a habit. We should be proactive in demonstrating our love so that there is no doubt. What can seem like a simple request of transparency can turn out to be a minefield of negativity. I have witnessed many a relationship where one person's fears meant they tried to make demands for transparency and the other's fear of losing them lead to them being defensive which, in turn, fuelled the fears and led to the relationship's demise. We should also be pragmatic. Not everything needs to be explicit, and we can't communicate everything all the time. What's important to one person isn't always important to another, and even when we point out what's important to us we are all human; we forget, and we make mistakes. Instead we should lead by example. We should remind each other and show everyone how we trust them and forgive them, and then all our fears will wash away and be replaced with positivity and love.In my opinion, trust should be effortless in a good relationship. A need or desire for transparency generally indicates that there is a lack of trust, usually stemming one or more fears. Like when a c...See more
Un1ty
Feb 15
Theo, I not only read your response but am and will study it. I am grateful for your life lessons and maturity, which caused you to answer in such a prolific way. I LOVED YOUR RESPONSE.
theoneo
Feb 15
Thank you. Anytime. :-)
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By Un1ty
Added Feb 14

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