Fatalism and letting the negativity get to you.... from Polywifen's blog

When I am feeling down, I just look at some beautiful vintage pictures, like this

Just look at Elizabeth Taylor's lovely, brown soulful eyes.

What's this you say?  Elizabeth Taylor infamously had violet blue eyes that were her trademark?  But....as you see in this picture, her eyes are very unviolet!  Surely there is no such natural phenomenon that would make a woman with light eyes, appear dark in a photograph?

Recently I was greatly amused that someone accused a woman of being a fakety, fake, fake fake because she had the temerity of looking very different in many of her pictures.  I had to laugh as I could see that it was the same woman, it's just the magic of womanhood (by magic read, tanning, hair extensions, lip fillers and yes, lighting.)  Now I don't know if he had recently come across a real fake asking him for $200 because her gas/phone/electricity/car/medical bill needs paying and was projecting it onto the makeup magician but my pointing his error out got me chucked off of his Xmas card list.

This search is hard, SO hard and so frustrating.  We wonder why this person who we contact doesn't bother answering back, or they do and they say no thank you.  We wonder if we are not attractive enough for them, too short, too fat, too thin, too poor, too old.  In my case, I am inevitably some of those things plus too liberal,too opinionated, too Jewish and most likely, too bloody far away! 

So we have all of these insecurities about connecting with someone and then there's ALL the scammers and the weirdos to make the search in these communities just that little bit more intolerable. 

No matter how thick you think your skin is, it will sometimes get you down, make you feel that it just isn't worth it and that 'everyone here is a fake'  but it is not true, the search is not all that different from monogamy, it's just the proportions are different.  There are still plenty of fakes in the monogamous personals, it's just so many of you who are married have very little experience in them.  I can tell you as a single person, I've had more "Widowed Engineers who were born in Chicago but write English like a foreign speaker" then there are fakes in the Polygamy personals world. 

If I just gave up entirely, I am giving up on the prospect of future marriage entirely, but those already married are just giving up on more of what they already have. Maybe that is why I am not losing any sleep over the fakes, single women cannot give up because of romance scammers, profile stalkers and men cheating on their wives.  We have to keep on going in the hopes that at some point, someone will see our value in all our imperfections, our opinions and our differences and we will value them for the same. 

Good luck to you all. xx

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By Polywifen
Added Nov 15 '22



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