Transparency with children from DanSmith's blog

Pretty short on this topic, but it was an eye opener for me that I should be a little more transparent with my kids about some of our potential life decisions. I had an interesting encounter with my daughter today about polygamy, and I figured some of you might get a laugh or at least share the pain.

I was on my phone this morning responding to a couple messages on Sisterwives when my oldest daughter (Hannah/8) trots over and gives me what I thought to be a hug. After a second, she acts startled and yells out "DAD, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SISTERWIFE???" Apparently, she had started reading my private conversations while giving me a quick hug. (Despite my best attempts, my children at times have no regard for manners or personal space.) Either it was a lack of understanding the privacy of an IM, or she was simply snooping to see what I was doing, but she quickly deduced that I must be looking around for another wife. Oh boy.

After that outburst, Hannah started getting upset with me. I assume it's probably due to jealousy for her mother (coming to her defense as her father was "stepping out" as she interpreted it), so I couldn't get upset with her righteous indignation. I'm glad that she is defensive of her mother and will even go to bat with Dad if I'm not treating Mom well by her interpretation. I gave Hannah some background as to why we are on Sisterwives, and simply told her that we're being open to the possibilities. I didn't go into everything, but I gave her enough to help answer some questions.

Anyway, my lesson from this is while the husband/wife might be open and on the same page with polygamy, it might be worth mentioning to your older children what possibilities you are opening your family up to. You will need to decide what your children might be ready for. Either way, don't let them find out by snooping on your phone... it's much more difficult playing defense than offense .

(In Hannah's defense, after we started talking it turns out her biggest concern was that she didn't want a baby brother since girls are so much better....... I can only hope and pray that she keeps that attitude for the next 12 years.)

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donb
Mar 10
One of the reasons why we posted the videos of our children answering some of the questions we've been asked as adults lol. Our teenagers are really good at doing what Hannah did to you.
DanSmith
Mar 10
Lol I can imagine! I still got lots of learning to do :-/
DanSmith
Mar 10
Accidental send... great idea about having your kids take part in it. I should think about how to incorporate that as well!
Julie_Robby2603
Mar 13
:)
ColeJas
May 28
:)
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By DanSmith
Added Mar 9

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