Who am I? from KelsonFamily's blog

We have one opportunity to live this life and I’m hoping that we’re all striving to live it for the best, and as stress and drama free as possible. It is also my hope that we are not dismissing the obligation to consider our Heavenly Father and the wonderful redemption he offers through Christ our Lord and Savior. Let us remember now the creator in the days of our youth, our youthful mature age. Learning to live life in a fulfilling and satisfying way is a progression. The first step in learning to achieve these objectives is to struggle through family upbringing. Most of us had parents and siblings who tested our patience but by whom we leant well-adjusted and morally correct behavior; I say most of us. It is also hoped that we learnt to understand ourselves in preparation for adult years. Who am I goes way past sibling order and family name. It wasn’t very long before, by the explosion of hormones and social pressure, we entered into another phase of life learning when we took on relationships of a more intense and deeply personal sort. Hopefully, our upbringing to a reasonable level of maturity enabled us to succeed in them. I’d love to say success in marriage was the case for most of us but the divorce rates confirm that for whatever reasons, failure in these areas designed to bring the most joy and fulfilment is pandemic and we would fail dismally if we wanted to data base all the reasons why. One thing is for sure; failure told us something about ourselves and we should have taken that on board. Blaming others exclusively for failure is deflection and not a sign of the maturity we ought to have found as we grew. So we who love polygyny come from either of these groups, for the most part. We come from those who enjoy reasonable success in monogamy or from a broken or a series of broken monogamous experiences. Yet it has to be said that whatever our relationship background, not many of us truly know ourselves and are thus not strong enough to make such monumental changes that are necessary to live and love polygamously. It is my contention that many folks fail because they don’t who they really are. These will cringe at the heat of committed poly relationships because it will manifest some terrible inner being hitherto unknown. Polygamy will cut open and expose any deep flaws in me quicker than a hot knife through butter. It would seem reasonable that those enjoying some success in monogamous marriages are better placed to enter polygamous ones but this might not be the case. Often monogamous people sweep things under the carpet or just accept stuff between themselves which really isn’t acceptable. This doesn’t help us face who we are and grow. Again, be warned, polygamy will expose these flaws either personal or corporate. If a monogamous marriage is weak then polygamy could well destroy it. If the individuals in monogamy are weak then polygamy could break down that individual to the detriment of the other lives associated with it. Those who consider polygyny from a background of broken relationships may be far worse placed to consider this marriage choice. Failure but especially repeated failure is a red flag waving large and ominously and must not ignored. Somehow the one failing repeatedly is not learning something about relationships and especially about themselves. To even consider bringing a repeat failureee into any family is a step in the wrong direction. So who am I? Am I ready to face the heat of polygamous marriage? Marriage should be a choice, not a romantic fling. Marriage is about enduring through tough times, not fleeing at the first hurdle. Marriage is about so many things that are unpleasant in self-correction and who can truly endure that? Polygynous marriage can be far more searching and demanding; it’s a three way heat and asbestos panties don’t provide sufficient protection. Polygamy is not for those who are afraid of self-examination and who avoid any course of self-betterment. Jumping from one relationship to another because it “didn’t work out” is avoiding the mirror examination and is as widespread in polygamy circles as monogamous ones. Polygyny is not a revolving door; not the means for weak men to feed on as many women as can be consumed. Polygyny is not for women who want a good man but make demands about how it will function. Polygyny is not a formalized facilitator of fornication; if you just want sex with benefits then that makes polygyny prostitution. Polygyny is marriage for those who are strong enough to love the others in it for their betterment and fulfilment and for our own mature growth. Who am I? I’d better know real good before polygyny, because we might not like what polygyny will expose. I write from sad experience. Brian of the Kelson Family

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Jan 7 '17
Excellent post, Brian! I appreciate your candor. I also appreciate that you are willing, from your vantage point, to give advice on this subject. There are many families interested in plural marriage, but virtually no practical advice from the other side, so to speak. At least not from men, for men. It seems plurally married men, (and I can understand that they are busy men) don't give much advice or even speak on the matter. I know that some folks just want to jump right in, ("it's all about love and following your heart, right?!?") but some of us want to use wisdom in making this choice. We want to find godly spouses who are committed to the Lord and who desire to be committed for life. Not some silly fling that brings temporary fun and then hurt, heartache, and misery. One can use the wisdom of The Scriptures to navigate the waters, but it is also nice to receive the godly advice of those who are farther on the path. This is helpful and something that is seriously lacking in christian churches, especially because most of them haven't bothered to seriously look at what God's word says on the matter of marriage.Excellent post, Brian! I appreciate your candor. I also appreciate that you are willing, from your vantage point, to give advice on this subject. There are many families interested in plural marriage,...See more
Jan 8 '17
Thanks for the endorsement A4MAMH, the carnage along the polygamy trail makes for unpleasant photography and we need to share our experiences for the prevention of even more. Finding quality Christian women as you described is a very difficult process, yet the Lord is with us and we trust in Him. I believe we should stand for this truth and break down the ignorance and prejudice within the Christian community so that the lie which says "the gift of being single" can be exposed and quality faithful women can find quality faithful husbands. I add my blessings to Eph.1:3. BrianThanks for the endorsement A4MAMH, the carnage along the polygamy trail makes for unpleasant photography and we need to share our experiences for the prevention of even more. Finding quality Christian...See more
Yesterday, 05:48AM
Hello, Brian! Enjoyed the post! Just stopped in because I recognized your name from a mutual friend at House Bisgrove. Blessings to you and your household of faith!
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By KelsonFamily
Added Jan 4 '17



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