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liljesscole
liljesscole Jul 10 '17
Hello everyone,


My name is JEssica or Jess for short. I am a single mom of 3 kids all girls between 12 and 16, I am looking to get involved in a situation where the relationship would be outgoing and open and involved, but im not sure how i can explain this to my daughters. Are there any other couple or parents out there with advice on this? Maybe you was once in this situation. Just looking for overall general advice on them being involved in something like this. 

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TroyH
TroyH Jul 12 '17
Good luck with everything.
janicep
janicep Mar 7 '18
well Jessica I think you need to be upfront and truthful with them let them know before you go into something get their input we talked to our son and explained to him and he is actually excited about meeting new people and possibly a new member of the family the only down side to it is if they start liking a person and it don't work out but it is better to let them know what your plans are up front so there are no surprises later on
3ofakind
3ofakind Mar 18 '18
Hello Jessica.  As a woman I'd have to say that you know you daughters much better than any other. So I would think you should set the pace. For us we would like to get to know everyone on a friendly basis and if you think things are going in the direction you want then you can start to slowly ease them into a conversation. Most importantly don't let anyone pressre you into doing anything that dosent feel right to you.  


donb
donb 5 hours ago
Hello Jessica. My name is Don. I have eight children. Three of my children are fully grown and I have two teenagers finishing up their second year of high school. My younger three are still in grade school. My wife and I have always tired to be open with our children and have encouraged them to do the same. Of course each child is different so our style of communication equally differs. I was worried how my children would react to the news that their mother and I are seeking a sister wife. My wife on the other hand had no such worries. It turns out that the five children who still live at home were completely comfortable with our pursuit. Something that was shared across the board was the mentality that "if that would make us happy then who are we to judge". The older three approach it from a stand point of "it's your life, you're an adult, and it's your right." I don't know if this helps you but I thought I should at least share the experience.
theoneo
theoneo 37 minutes ago
Hi Jessica,  I have heard many stories over the years about this from other poly* families about this exact situation.  The one consistent outcome is always that children will accept you for who you are so long as you yourself are comfortable with it.  You are their example and they sense things in you better than you realise and care more about you than anyone can.  


The surprise has never been from the children but from other adults behaviour.  For example, I had a friend whose children were in school and the children were fine with their parents choices.  One of the other parents at school found out my friend was in a polygamous relationship.  That parent wasn't so respectful and attempted to limit their children's contact with their friends. The other parent's children got upset and asked why they were being limited from contact with their friends if they had done nothing wrong.  The children were the smart ones!  The other parents were forced to rationalise their choices to their children which brought about an awakening of sorts and eventually everything went back to normal.

The Forum post is edited by theoneo 2 minutes ago
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