Single's Point Of View | Forum

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cwc419 Jan 5
I, being a part of a couple, am interested in learning what the point of view of single women, particular on this site, see.

Are you bombarded when you sign up? Is it a casual event or more intense?  What things do you find enjoyable, what things do you find intimidating? 

Are there things that you would say, as a single looking for a plural relationship, to couples about their approach? Is there something you wish they would do better? 

JingoFamily Jan 5
Good on you... I have intended to make just such a post. 

From women I have talked to it is quite a mixed bag but one thread that seemed to run through a great number of them was that the relationships being proposed might be more at home on a site focused on peoples bedroom kinks than one with marriage as the entire point.

It will be interesting to see what the women have to say.

cwc419 Jan 6
Yes, we have run across the same thing. It is really odd how the sex in a relationship is the primary factor to some, before even figuring out if there is anything in common about daily life.
JingoFamily Jan 6
Bingo...the sex seems to be the Only thing on peoples mind. Bloody tiresome frankly. Whether it is part of a search or if it is in a conversation about plural marriage with friends and family. 

I don't know about the rest of y'all but while yeah intimacy within a relationship is great and important, I really don't think it is the first thing people should be considering. I am more interested in whether or not I am on the same page on so many other topics with a woman before it seems appropriate to discuss nookie. At least figure out if you genuinely like like someone first.

cwc419 Jan 18

It's kinda funny, in heterosexual monogamous dating if one party started talking about sex at first the other party would find that creepy, well unless it happens to be Craigslist porn type dating site. Gay and lesbian dating sites would seem to lean towards the sexual side of things but I wouldn't want to say that categorically. I don't know about that area but I can see where there would be a genuine desire to meet people for long term relationships and figure the sex out later.

It seems that with the dating world of polygamy that the idea of bisexual starts to put sex first and it appears to become an issue when bisexual and non-bisexual mix. It's just another hurtle both sides have to overcome to get what they desire in a relationship. 

JingoFamily Jan 19
The sex topic irritates me. Not cause I am a prude or anything of that nature but because there is so very much more to making a marriage work long term. Yeah it helps with early attraction and it is a hell of a fun way to spend some time but I don't tend to bring it up when talking to women. If it is brought up then yeah I can see it as a valid topic, but it really should not be the focus of the getting to know you thing. 

That being said, communication is always key...and that does not just mean saying a lot of stuff but doing a lot of listening and asking questions and counter questions. By not asking questions, making assumptions or drawing conclusions without following up then both sides might well miss out or worse people get together too soon and then discover in person that they don't work. Worse even still is if there are children as part of the equation. 

Can not bang that drumb enough...communication is just huge. No communication is probably going to equal no success. Both the ladies side and the couples side. 

cwc419 Jan 26
All we need is a place to have these discussions. 
JingoFamily Feb 3
Who knows the costs and process for setting up a site with basic discussion forums but not a hell of a lot else? Not a matchmaking scenario naturally...just a place to compare notes and discuss the nuts and bolts issues of plural marriage 
cwc419 Feb 5
I personally think that a forum with its premise being matchmaking is a good thing.  But it's cost and functionality need to be carefully monitored.  No one wants to pay for something that doesn't work. But I would be willing to pay to be a part of a community that supported plural relationships, even if the matchmaking part wasn't there.  I think that it would be better served to focus on the community part more. I mean,  that's were monogamous relationships mostly come from, the community where one lives in,  work, neighborhood, friends,  family. That's were real relationships are formed.  Online dating sites worked in the beginning,  but I don't think they work as well anymore, monogamous or polygamous. 
The Forum post is edited by cwc419 Feb 5
I have started simply asking the women I chat with one simple but thoughtful question.

 What makes a man valuable enough to give him the right to call more than one woman a wife?

This directs everything away from the sexual aspect that we all know is inherent to the relationship. Also, as a bonus, I get to learn new things where I might be lacking as a husband lol. Yes, the sex is important to foster additional connectivity. But it should not be the foundation ever. Thats a house built on quicksand for sure!

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