Why is your profile so private? | Forum

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theoneo Jun 4 '19

I've come across a few profiles (all women) that just have 1 photo and the statement:

<username> chooses not to share this content.

I can't see anything.   No introduction, no preferences, not even a rough location.

However, I can:

- Request to add them as a friend

- Send them a message

- Follow them

....and most of the other functions as well.

Now, I'm not the kind of person who bothers people I don't know anything about.  I like to find things in the profile that are a place to start because, let's face it, we're not all chancers like Matt Leblanc's character in Friends -  "Hey, how you doin'? ;-)"

To me this seems counterintuitive.  If you don't want people to know something to start the conversation, then I guess there's no conversation to start.  But then why leave all the other functionality available?

So, to those who have set their profile to that level of privacy, what was your reason for doing so?  Are you here but not looking?  Has it reduced the number of approaches?  If you are looking, do you actively scour the profiles and send messages to profiles you like?  Do you want people to contact you with only a photo to go off?  What would happen if both you and a person you liked had the same privacy setting?  Are you, perhaps, meeting people somewhere else but just using this site as a way to stay in touch?

I get that this is a community so some people are unavailable, but I'm perplexed by this as a feature on this site.  Surely it would make more sense to block people from being able to send than it would to hide information on them.  Why make a profile private rather than just leave the fields empty?

Please, someone enlighten me as to the thinking behind this feature.


The Forum post is edited by theoneo Jun 4 '19
As4meandmyhouse Jul 20 '19
I’ve wondered the same thing. It seems very counter intuitive, but to each their own I guess. I never write to them, there is already not enough info on most pages to know if one should start a convo haha!
JingoFamily Jul 23 '19
My guess is that they are simply curious bit aware enough to know that like any dating site that they might be potentially bombarded with interest. Alternatively, they may have met someone and have gotten on well enough to judge it appropriate to close off their profile to an extent as they see if the relationship blossoms or not.
TheServantofGod Sep 21 '19
I can't wait till The Site is Upgraded hopefully it be a big improvement.
littlebitofnc Nov 13 '19
In my interaction with one couple, they chose to place their profile in private mode when either they are talking to or meeting with someone that is promising in order to give that person their full attention, OR because they are taking a break.

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