Employment opportunities! Family Style! (Text borrowed from my friend at Frozen Co with slight alteration) from VV76's blog

VV76 & Co. 's Hiring Philosophy, for consideration of Start-up businesses.


Applicants will be dismayed to learn that VV76 & Co. is a draconian branch in a firm that requires absolute loyalty from it's partners. Applicants with employment histories that list companies still doing business will be rejected, unless sufficient evidence can be presented showing breach of contract against the applicant. Applicants without relevant work experience may be considered, as may applicants who have previously worked unpaid internships, as well as applicants whose previous company has fully closed down.

Other start-up companies would do well to follow this model. Nothing saps capital like the mandatory severance package that accompanies a departed employee. Maintaining a mission driven concern under these circumstances is not optimal.

Any applicant that wishes to be taken seriously must state their understanding that the job they are applying to encompasses the verbiage "other duties as assigned" in its post orders. Job functions may change abruptly due to mission creep or strategic shifts handed down from Corporate Headquarters.

VV76 & Co. does not support an extensive internship culture. All work done by interns will be voluntary and no intern will be asked to perform any job function of an employee, nor will any intern be allowed to perform any of the essential job functions of an employee. Blurring the line between employee and non-employee really screws with payroll and opens up the company to unacceptable liability.

All applications should be handed in directly to Corporate Headquarters. There is a a door that says Human Resources Department at the VV76 & Co. branch, but curiously it is being used as a janitor's supply closet. Whether this is an oversight or a joke is unclear.

This is due to the large number of potential employees that are at odds with Corporate's business model and mission. The number of employees these days who want to turn a branch office into a private business has truly poisoned the hiring pool.

Qualifications:

Loyalty is Job #1 : Central to Corporate's business model is complete rejection and hostility to the current economic system that most other business concerns operate under. There is no real way to know from year to year what we will be ordered to do. This can create stress and fatigue and isolation, so it is imperative that all employees understand that the well being of all other employees is a top priority for each employee to address.

Corporate Rats Welcome: Chain of command is strictly enforced at the local branch (VV76 & Co.), with the exception that every employee is encouraged to personally communicate and take all issues, large and small, to the President and Founder. It is the experience of this branch that employees who have a strong relationship with Headquarters are the most profitable employees. Any employee that does not prefer the management style or direction the local branch is taking can and should take it up with the President to ask for assistance. If the local branch is ordered to adjust its practices due to employee communication with Headquarters, no adverse action will be taken against the employee. In fact, a bonus will be awarded to the employee for helping our branch remain mission focused.

Corporate Function, Entrepreneur Attitude: While it is true that VV76 & Co. will likely employ any applicant with a Presidential recommendation (and good luck getting one!), this local branch considers itself to be an 'operative branch', enacting hostile takeovers of other businesses to come under corporate umbrella. Ideally, all employees are motivated to be personally engaged in some aspect of this. Ultimately, we derive our worth as a branch from our ability to acquire businesses for Corporate, not in accumulating mundane profits or swelling employment ranks.

Young business owners are encouraged to consider the aforementioned attitudes and practices and see if VV76 & Co.'s model can be utilized in whole or in part for your venture.

Good luck!

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By VV76
Added Jul 3

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