User blogs

The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up.

I don't care which side of the political isle you are on (at least for the purposes of this blog post), we all know the economy is boned. If you don't know that it is going to get substantially worse and that we will be living through events like our great grandparents saw if not worse, then you need to pull your head out and look around. Seriously,  you should  e doing some prepping.

I see the fact that the economy, political divides, food insecurity and all the more chance of truly significant change being forced upon the world by globalist/elites/corporatists or weird mish mashes of communist, fascists and creepy as hell transhumanists all makes people scared for the future. The uncertainty in the world seems like a decent predictor for polygamy becoming a far more palettable choice for single women and couples moving forward. Safety in numbers, economic security and a larger base of support may start to seem pretty attractive. 

I don't know about the rest of y'all but it sure looks to me (in early August of 2022) that the number of women coming to the site seeking or investigating plural marriage seems to going up significantly. 

Yeah the number of established families looking for women may well be going up as well but I am not in as much of a position to notice. Maybe the site admin will see the post and comment about if I am right about the surge in single woman and if the same applies to families. 

Won't pretend that even though I don't want the economy and the world to go to hell, that I am not happy to see more woman considering plural marriage in general terms. It is after all likely the oldest form of marriage and was the most prominent form until semi recently as the history of humans goes (genetic record tells us that there have been far more moms than dads). 

So I just joined.  I've read the blogs and looked at some profiles.  I have no idea what ghosting is but I have said a few hi s and hellos to some.  I am ready for a full polygamous relationship.  I'm too old to have children but I want the companionship of a family.  I have no jealousy I just want calm peaceful relationships with sister wives and a man who treats all fairly... It sounds ideal and I think I deserve it ?

Hopefully, it gets more activity than the forum format.

Always thought the best thing for the poly community was for those who are seriously interested in it to have voice and share their lives so others who are outside can actually see that plural relationships are just as strong and meaningful, if not more so, than any other relationship structure.

Lol! Pale skinned blond showing tonnes of cleavage in a professional photo is apparently Native American from Nigeria and here looking for plural marriage. Yeeeeah

I am putting the odds at 50/50 as to whether the account will exist by the time I get out of my next appointment and can look again.

I am making fun of the lame nature of some of these efforts at scamming but there are so many people that get hooked by these people and get screwed over in one form or another.

So stop being so thirty and eager to get a hose job.  Be cautious and not so gullible. 

I didnt know finding a sister wife was going to be this hard! I'm ready to tribe up! Any advice!??

Struggling with finding a sister wife on here. Any advice?

What is polygamy? According to the Google definition it means...

nounnoun: polygamy

the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.

So, what's so difficult about that? Well, personally, I don't think that's the full answer. I think being IN LOVE with more than one person is what polygamy is to me. I don't think being 'hot' for someone or having that all too familiar warm feeling in your pants is enough. Being truly in love with your partner(s) is FAR more important that a bit of paper from the government or your in the moment feeling for someone. Let's be honest here, just because you want to sleep with someone does not make it love, or mean that they would make a good partner.

I've noticed a trend on other sites, Bi-Cupid, MoreThanOne, Reddit etc...they all talk about Ethical Non-Monogamy like it's polygamy. They talk about having multiple partners and your metamor as if this is something more than what it is. I STRONGLY disagree. That's sleeping around on your partner or having an open relationship. I don't think that's what polygamy is. Misnomers aside I feel it's important to point this out. If you're looking at our profile, you should know who we are and what we're about. So here goes.

Angie and I have been together for 17 years now, we dated for 2 and then got married. We raised her 2 children and my 2 children. I've known from the beginning that my wife was bi-sexual, but I also know that she picked me, out of a world full of potentials. Since then we have been through a lot of crap together and it's made us strong. Our most recent battle was breast cancer. The day they told us they found a lump in her breast, my world stopped. I saw a future that didn't have my wife in it and I simply could not see that. I didn't want to. The sun rises and sets with her, at least it does for me. Thank all that is holy, we made it though that. They removed the lump and put her through chemo and radiation and then gave her a clean bill of health. So why are we here?

During all of this we would joke around about our lack of sex because of chemo meds. It started as a joke, but became a more serious conversation. As I said, I've known she was Bi from the beginning. Her desires are important to me and I have no issues trying to give her everything she wants. If I'm honest, I want that too. More importantly, we both feel like SOMEONE is missing from our relationship. That was the general consensus. It wasn't about, I want to sleep with someone else or she want's to sleep with someone else, it was the feeling that we have something missing in our lives and that something is a SOMEONE. I'm not saying we are unfulfilled or unhappy, quite the opposite. We are very happy with our lives and if it's only us for the rest or our days, this will go down as the "best life ever". I guess you could say we feel like we have enough love for us and someone else. LOL.

So, to make all of this a bit more clear. We have no issues with open relationships, we have no issue with people calling that poly. We just don't. It's not for us though. We know that. We don't want to sleep around, we want to have another partner. Partner...that's a big word. Again, according to the google dictionary..."either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity.". We'll just ignore the pair part and say a group of people engaged together in the same activity. That feels more like what we are looking for. A real partner that will live our lives with us. Someone to join us "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". I know that's corny, so sue me.

For those out there reading our profile and thinking of messaging us, we are NOT unicorn hunters. We are NOT harem builders. We are NOT any of those things that make poly folks cringe(or at least I hope we're not). We are just a normal, genuine couple looking to add more love to our lives. If you read our profile, you know we're not looking for "hook-ups" or one night stands. We want to know you as a person, we want to love you before we make love to you. We want to have a relationship, then we want to add the physical relationship, when it make sense.

Oh and if you're a catfish...please don't. We won't send you money and playing with us will not get you what you want.

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.
~John

Let me just say first off, I dislike ghosting people, it feels rude, invalidating and goodness is it so hard to reply thank you but this is not what I am looking for *reasons optional?

I reply because I have this ridiculous traditional English attachment to 'manners' and although it doesn't stop my sarcasm by any means, it is so ingrained in me that I find it hard to ignore something or someone even when I know I probably should and this is what gets me into trouble, sometimes.

So many years ago as fresh faced new to poly woman I joined a Polygamy personals group that was very serious, I was told that all the potential wives were screened on the phone, so there was no chance of any fakery, catfishers (this is before the term was coined btw) and fraudsters.  I felt safe that I was only going to have the MOST serious of people contacting me.

That was a stupid assumption.

The very first person who pinged me was someone's grandfather thirty years my senior, my profile said 'Looking for a family with young children' what he offered was 'Our grandson comes to visit overnight once a fortnight'  

As you can imagine, my overly polite brain stressed itself into anxiety trying to find a polite response to him that protected HIS feelings and ego, because of course I did, I am a woman and that is what we are taught to do.

What I received was a litany of filthy abuse remarking on my body, looks, cleanliness and some sexualised insults that I am FAR too much of a lady to repeat. 

It was hurtful and alarming and shocking considering the great pains I took to be SO polite to him.  I was to learn two lessons that day 1) The people who ran that site were far more interested in the money that man was paying to be there, than who he insulted and 2) I shouldn't have bothered replying because any reply in the negative was going to make him angry.

And this is why some women ghost, because for some mentally and/or emotionally unstable men, the denial of a woman they want, will entice them to anger and some times harassment possibly into stalking.  

Before I upgraded my phone I had once had one man call me over 30x on repeat after I said No to a date.  I don't think he thought it would change my mind, I think he just was angry so wanted to punish me.  And I am a pretty niche woman in general.  I can't imagine what it is like for the more mainstream women and how much daily hassling they get because they dared to say No.  

SO ghosting amongst women is not always a sign of rudeness, it can be protective, it is avoiding the possibility of abuse, of having someone attack you, especially in aggressively sexualised ways, attacking your looks or combing through your profile or your previous conversations for any information to then attack you  i.e. 'Maybe if you were nicer you wouldn't have mental health issues'?  'You're such a B*tch, no wonder your husband left you'  'Maybe if you didn't dress like that, you would attract better men'  etc etc

So, just remember that when you next send out a message to someone, especially if you are not what they are looking for, they might wonder 'how is this person going to react'?  And if you ARE a person who can't control their emotions, please don't press send.

I have never ignored a message on a Poly site, even ones that are frustratingly void of any sort of intro, badly spelled and clearly not having read my profile, I have always answered, because I am polite, have I received the same courtesy?  No I haven't and the way I look at it now (and what I told a couple recently who told me that I am 'The ONLY one who answered them'  it is that 'No response is a no'  I do not like it, I hate it in fact, but no one deserves a response from an unsolicited interaction I suppose, much the same as someone who tries to chat you up in the street, I do believe it is probably for the best if you ignore them.  But if you engage in a nice interaction, what happens then, I am pretty sure people IRL don't behave how they do on the internet.

So, being on a fair few internet groups, personals sites and forums, I have written a lot of profiles, some are long, some are a bit shorter but generally when it comes to polygamy personals I make it clear that I am looking for POLYGYNY, that is a man who has separate marriages all under one family.  I am committed to the sister wife way of life and have no desire to be the filling in a couple sandwich.  (Sorry, not sorry).

So imagine my surprise when I was contacted by a couple who I know are looking for a triad, I should have known something was up because after me writing to them telling them I read their profile, five minutes later they asked me if I had read it.  So, these people are obviously not very observant, but I figured they just wanted to chat to people in Europe as most of the people on this site are American.  I love their country too, I have been a couple times and I am hoping to go again soon to seek out some family history so I was very happy to talk to them about where they live.

Then came the 'So are you looking for a triad'?  So I said 'Nope, I am only seeking polygyny'   (I mean, it's literally the first line of my 'Who I want to meet' paragraph) 

So their reply was 'This is not what we want, sorry we didn't read your profile before'  

Now, I do believe yes, they should be sorry, because it is bloody stupid to contact people with the information you want RIGHT THERE (and on that front, for pete's sake people, put this information in your profile) but am I writing this just to cathartically rant over people not reading profiles?

No, I don't see the point, I was contacted by a guy 20 years younger then me the other day, gleefully ignoring my age requests, people (mostly men, let's be honest) not reading profiles properly is a daily occurrence in my life.  

What piqued me and brought about this screed was what they did right after, they blocked me....

Why?

Did they think that I was so enamoured with our 5 minute conversation about the beauty of the Netherlands that I would harass them until they had changed their mind about Unicorn hunting?   

Did they believe that banning someone means they will no longer turn up in their searches?  (Ooooh they are SO mistaken on that one!!) 

Or are they, simply, selfish people, wanting it make it clear that now that 'they' are not interested in you, that you are undeserving of any sort of response to them, even if it is simply.  'Not a problem, good luck with your search with a little emoji at the end because I am nice like that

I wasn't interested in them already, I had read their profile, so why does it seem like they wanted to punish me for them not having done the same?