User blogs

Why is it so hard to find a woman who is serious about joining our family. So many times we have came across fakes and spam bots. were is the lady for us.

There are fakes that the admins kick fairly quickly but then there are those that fly under the radar for a day or two.

You should start watching the signs so you don't get played or just plain disappointed. 

* Messaged you out of nowhere but never looked at your profile

* Has just created the ad today but has several new "friends" all within just a few minutes 

* Profile details don't remotely match photo. My favorite was the pale blond blue eyed native American from Nigeria 

-feel free to add other obvious signs

Stop being suckered.

If you stop being an easy mark to these leeches then maybe it will cease to be such a target. At very minimum,  you will not feel like a prize dumba** for getting played. 

Another month and another string of scammers.  We have a huge farmhouse, are willing to accept women with small kids, and very open about rural life on our farmstead... yet....

We try to put a lot of effort into chatting and getting to know folks to see if they are a good match.

But, the vast majority are not actually here looking to become a sisterwife.  I don't know about the couples, but I am beginning to suspect that a lot of the couples are not either- just swingers searching for the next bit of 'fun'.

The latest scammer was purportedly from Northwest Ohio.  She literally started asking for $20 within 2 hours of starting to chat.  "living with my parents and they won't feed me".  

A video chat showed the reality: she has a wedding ring, a child, and lives in an apartment.  Later she started pushing for us to send money for a bus ticket - claimed she had no ID and had to buy it so she could use the eticket - the usual scammer nonsense.

I don't bother to name names - they always change them anyways.

Speaking of which: when they are identified they don't get deleted.  And when they come back, they don't get deleted.  So, you end up with the same ones again and again.

At least there is now a 'willing to relocate' info on profiles now.  Not that folks will be honest about that either, but it does help a bit.

Some of the things that have become glaringly clear to us in the last 3 months about the women looking:

1.  Several of them are mentally disabled.  They are either low IQ, or have other significant issues and in several cases have 'caregivers' or are in treatment centers.

2.  Several are serial seekers.  They go from family to family and in many cases are already chatting up several 'next stops' for when they decide to move on.  A variety of motivations fuel these ones but I'm betting that deep down they are looking for the fairy tale and or big score.

3.  Outright scammers - send me money for a ticket, etc.

4.  Bored and lonely.  Unhappy at home, lie about living circumstances, usually grossly obese, etc.

5.  Academics - these folks are researching the lifestyle and documenting the real folks on here and their responses to 'chats' for use in research papers and/or articles.  They are fake and are 'playing the part' to draw out the 'answers' they want.

6.  Knights in Armor - looking for low hanging fruit for prosecution "I have a 17 year old daughter with me that is interested in the lifestyle too", or just disrupt a lifestyle that they KNOW is wrong.  So far, every one of these I have seen is quickly and decisively deleted by the admins (wonder why they don't do that on the others?).

Most of these can be eliminated by ID verification.  Not sure why it hasn't been implemented.  But it sure would help.

Constantly vetting the scammers gets depressing.  And is a waste of time for paying users.

Hopefully things will change...

I am curious if anyone couples or singles have had any success on here. Please share

We used to do weekly group chats, Is anyone interested in doing these please let me know what days and times work so we can plan accordingly

I just found this site today after trying others. Please don't anyone judgeme. Like I said I'm very new to this and still learning. On another site I did begin to talk to another couple. I started having feelings for the husband. Then I had a wake up call. It was not the marriage for me and I almost came close to packing up my bags and moving out of state to be with them. The reason I said it was not for me because that marriage was not about me being equal to the husband and first wife. Joining there family would have required me to change myself completely to fit what they desired and for me to be miserable because basically I had to fake it to be with them. It seemed like with the husband it was more about sex. I was considered selfish and unsubmissive if I didn't perform sexually the way he wanted. The wife....i was required to stay home, clean, cook and tend to their children while they worked. That's not what I had planned for myself, even in a monogamous relationship. I wss considered selfish and unsubmissive for not wanting to. Also I had to change my eating, my physical appearance, etc to suit him. I was not allowed to go anywhere outside the house without a family member. The excuse was that wanting to do things on my own was saying I didn't want to be with family. I felt like that was an excuse for just keeping me under watchful eyes. I mean every marriage is different. Some might be willing. I woke up and realise I felt like it was controlling, they was selfish, I was going to be a sex slave, maid and nanny. I was just a grown child. I had no say so, no compromising so I could be happy, nothing about that relationship included me in it. I might be wrong for feeling that way but I experienced other couples only about sex and wanting me to be bisexual. So can someone teach me the true marriage of Poly and set my mind at ease that this is the right thing for me. That all couples are not like that. 

One of the things that constantly amazes us is that we keep running into the same fakes, flakes, scammers and other negative folks here.

They don't even change the profile names much.

And, since this is a 'pay' site, I have to wonder why they are still on here.

Also, how many of you get messages from 'ladies' that consist of just 'Hi'?  Or are just one liners that are fairly generic?  Or seem to have the same general answers from different ladies?

Bots perhaps?

After years of searching (and succeeding) we have pretty much come up with the golden rules.

1) first mention of needing money, dump them.

2) no audio call, dump them.

3) no video, dump them.

4) no social media?  dump them.  Really folks - no single woman today does NOT have social media.  If they say they don't, they are lying.

5) availability to communicate - if they have 'brown out times or blackout times or drop off abruptly, they have side games going, DUMP THEM.

I'm sure there are a few real women on here.  I'm sure that they get swamped by messages (flies on excrement, pirahnas on a hot dog, etc etc).  And lets face it: the swingers and party lifestyles and material enticements are what a lot of them are here for.  The remaining .001% that are real and great catches run away as fast as they can.

Notice the one thing really missing here: real stories of real success and can be verified.

So, on the off chance this is read by a REAL lady that is looking, message us.  If you are a scammer that we have dealt with or outed in the past, the internet never forgets.  

On that note, we will NOT be renewing till we see a positive change.  Don't hear anything about that anymore.... hmmm....

I am getting a lot of people that are not really on here seeking a real unity. I am at the point where I have done the research in poly and pro and cons and then figured out this is truly what I am seeking in my journey. I have done the mental work with my life coach as far as toxic past relationships and just self love and now can be able to love someone else. I want not only a husband that I am able to be fully submissive to but also have my sister wife that we are able to come together and love the same king and just pour our love not only into home but also into the family unit I just want peace and positive energy.

I have often thought this lifestyle would be for me, but many discussions with my moms and dad, they often told me that this is a difficult way to live. They lived this lifestyle for many, many years and eventually ended the marriage. Even though their marriage might not have lasted, seeing other families around me that lived this lifestyle made me want to pursue this journey. It is very hard trying to find the right family to join, and since tensions are high in my family at the moment, no one is really talking to anyone. So, my question is, how would you approach your family to tell them that even though they have advised me not to do this, I am still wanting to pursue this lifestyle?

hi everyone, and i'm pleased to be back.  

i'm not breaking any new ground when saying that this has been a very hard year.  i won't even get into politics, i promise :). it's been hard because it's been isolating, and things like depression can take over. i was active here in the spring, when at least as we emerged from the hard times of April, i felt some sense of hope, but then we had waves of challenges here in FL and other southern states, and it honestly made me withdraw.

that was a hard thing to do, and not the right thing either.  i could protect myself, but in doing so, i harmed myself by not allowing the exploration of the loving relationship with a Man and my sisters that i so deeply crave, and need, and that God has told me is the way to live.  it was humbling to admit that alone i do not have the strength, but in partnership with a Man and my sisters, i can find strength.

And so, here i am again!  i remain all the things i've come to know myself to be: smart and caring, humble and submissive, a believer in God and His way, and ready to be in service to my Husband.