You should start watching the signs so you don't get played or just plain disappointed.
* Messaged you out of nowhere but never looked at your profile
* Has just created the ad today but has several new "friends" all within just a few minutes
* Profile details don't remotely match photo. My favorite was the pale blond blue eyed native American from Nigeria
-feel free to add other obvious signs
Stop being suckered.
If you stop being an easy mark to these leeches then maybe it will cease to be such a target. At very minimum, you will not feel like a prize dumba** for getting played.
We try to put a lot of effort into chatting and getting to know folks to see if they are a good match.
But, the vast majority are not actually here looking to become a sisterwife. I don't know about the couples, but I am beginning to suspect that a lot of the couples are not either- just swingers searching for the next bit of 'fun'.
The latest scammer was purportedly from Northwest Ohio. She literally started asking for $20 within 2 hours of starting to chat. "living with my parents and they won't feed me".
A video chat showed the reality: she has a wedding ring, a child, and lives in an apartment. Later she started pushing for us to send money for a bus ticket - claimed she had no ID and had to buy it so she could use the eticket - the usual scammer nonsense.
I don't bother to name names - they always change them anyways.
Speaking of which: when they are identified they don't get deleted. And when they come back, they don't get deleted. So, you end up with the same ones again and again.
At least there is now a 'willing to relocate' info on profiles now. Not that folks will be honest about that either, but it does help a bit.
Some of the things that have become glaringly clear to us in the last 3 months about the women looking:
1. Several of them are mentally disabled. They are either low IQ, or have other significant issues and in several cases have 'caregivers' or are in treatment centers.
2. Several are serial seekers. They go from family to family and in many cases are already chatting up several 'next stops' for when they decide to move on. A variety of motivations fuel these ones but I'm betting that deep down they are looking for the fairy tale and or big score.
3. Outright scammers - send me money for a ticket, etc.
4. Bored and lonely. Unhappy at home, lie about living circumstances, usually grossly obese, etc.
5. Academics - these folks are researching the lifestyle and documenting the real folks on here and their responses to 'chats' for use in research papers and/or articles. They are fake and are 'playing the part' to draw out the 'answers' they want.
6. Knights in Armor - looking for low hanging fruit for prosecution "I have a 17 year old daughter with me that is interested in the lifestyle too", or just disrupt a lifestyle that they KNOW is wrong. So far, every one of these I have seen is quickly and decisively deleted by the admins (wonder why they don't do that on the others?).
Most of these can be eliminated by ID verification. Not sure why it hasn't been implemented. But it sure would help.
Constantly vetting the scammers gets depressing. And is a waste of time for paying users.
Hopefully things will change...
They don't even change the profile names much.
And, since this is a 'pay' site, I have to wonder why they are still on here.
Also, how many of you get messages from 'ladies' that consist of just 'Hi'? Or are just one liners that are fairly generic? Or seem to have the same general answers from different ladies?
Bots perhaps?
After years of searching (and succeeding) we have pretty much come up with the golden rules.
1) first mention of needing money, dump them.
2) no audio call, dump them.
3) no video, dump them.
4) no social media? dump them. Really folks - no single woman today does NOT have social media. If they say they don't, they are lying.
5) availability to communicate - if they have 'brown out times or blackout times or drop off abruptly, they have side games going, DUMP THEM.
I'm sure there are a few real women on here. I'm sure that they get swamped by messages (flies on excrement, pirahnas on a hot dog, etc etc). And lets face it: the swingers and party lifestyles and material enticements are what a lot of them are here for. The remaining .001% that are real and great catches run away as fast as they can.
Notice the one thing really missing here: real stories of real success and can be verified.
So, on the off chance this is read by a REAL lady that is looking, message us. If you are a scammer that we have dealt with or outed in the past, the internet never forgets.
On that note, we will NOT be renewing till we see a positive change. Don't hear anything about that anymore.... hmmm....
i'm not breaking any new ground when saying that this has been a very hard year. i won't even get into politics, i promise :). it's been hard because it's been isolating, and things like depression can take over. i was active here in the spring, when at least as we emerged from the hard times of April, i felt some sense of hope, but then we had waves of challenges here in FL and other southern states, and it honestly made me withdraw.
that was a hard thing to do, and not the right thing either. i could protect myself, but in doing so, i harmed myself by not allowing the exploration of the loving relationship with a Man and my sisters that i so deeply crave, and need, and that God has told me is the way to live. it was humbling to admit that alone i do not have the strength, but in partnership with a Man and my sisters, i can find strength.
And so, here i am again! i remain all the things i've come to know myself to be: smart and caring, humble and submissive, a believer in God and His way, and ready to be in service to my Husband.