If you are out there, and you just might happen to read this, and are truly serious and committed to living plural marriage, we would love to get to know you! All we want to do is find that special person for us, just like everyone else on this site. We are real, we are 100% all in! Talk with us, give us a chance, I can promise you that we will give that to you as well. We really, honest-to-goodness want to live plural marriage. All I'm asking for is to be given a chance.
Steve
So far we've started talking to three different ladies with the typical results. Two fakes/flakes/scammers, one princess. 0 for 3.
We tend to be practical (rural farm family) and, since we have been thru the process a few times before, have gotten pretty good at spotting the fakes, flakes, frauds, scammers and con artists.
The first (not from here, Brittany) wanted assurances and $2000 per month guaranteed income, paid apartment (living in a suite in the farmhouse not good enough), separate phone (not part of family plan), car, etc. In other words a paid mistress. I'm not going to repeat the wives comments....
The second and third were the typical damsels in distress. These types always have horrible stories about their horrible lives. So much so that they have gotten to be 'over the top' - you'd think they were auditioning for Springer. And, they almost always say 'I'm not looking to be rescued'. What they all seem to have in common is that they want to go slow (not a problem) and have all sorts of things that keep them from being able to actually relocate or consider relocating soon. Times tend to vary but they are always looking at 3 to 9 months. They don't like talking to the wives - independently or as a group, but will always chat up and often get a bit risque with me. Then, when they realize that 1) we are REAL, 2) we compare notes, 3) they will have to interact with all of us, 4) we won't 'help them' with bills etc. while they are dithering, 5) want to verify their existence thru other means, 6) ask point on questions about leases, debt, family ties, stuff to be moved, etc., they ghost and block.
Both #2 and 3 were from here. H & J.
I'm not sure why these folks seem to pop up in poly so much. But they do... they seem to be a very active bunch, and put in quite the effort.
Anyway, we are here for the long haul. We will succeed eventually - despite the catfishing cretins. And we will have tons of fun identifying the chaff.
I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.
The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls, it is part of the environment. The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites.
With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .
Now don't get me wrong... I am not white knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family.
The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.
I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.
Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.
Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind.
So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out.