User blogs

Ok, So we have been chatting with someone on this site for about a week. So she is in college supposedly. So i've been texting her and she tells me that i haven't talked to her in 3 days. Well I HAVE! Today she says, I have something to ask you, In school today my professor asked me to pay $550. So can you send it to me and i'll send you the information to where to send it. But I need it by Friday!. That way i can pay it and start my relationship with you. What The H...? Is this normal? I don't know this person except through some text messages. If she was here then I could see helping, or if we WERE in a relationship. But not only after just a week and not really knowing her. Has anyone else been faced it with this and how do you respond? I'm so lost....We have had nothing but bad experiences from these people. We want a honest, committed relationship and we just can't seem to find it in anyone to wont the same. Are we doing something wrong? We need help!

It's hard to keep the faith when you put your heart and soul into finding that special person, things start to look promising, you are starting communication, or maybe taking that next step to meeting that person, or have met and are looking toward the future and things are looking bright, only to have communication stop dead, they start drama and or games, or decide that this lifestyle isn't for them, or just completely take your heart and crush it into a million pieces just for the fun of it. If it weren't for the unexplainable feeling of being called to live plural marriage, I would give up searching and just say I'm done. But I feel this so strongly that I can't stop hoping that our special sister wife is out there somewhere. 

If you are out there, and you just might happen to read this, and are truly serious and committed to living plural marriage, we would love to get to know you! All we want to do is find that special person for us, just like everyone else on this site. We are real, we are 100% all in! Talk with us, give us a chance, I can promise you that we will give that to you as well. We really, honest-to-goodness want to live plural marriage. All I'm asking for is to be given a chance. 

Steve

I tend to glance at the list of users who have viewed our profile fairly regularly and saw a profile announcing that the site was full of "fakes and aggressive men" and it inspired me to write a blog post on a topic I have had in mind for a while.

I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.

The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls,  it is part of the environment.  The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites. 

With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .

Now don't get me wrong... I am not white  knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family. 

The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.

I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.

Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.

Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind. 

So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out. 

Okay for those that love breakfast,  let's have debate.  Which breakfast is the best? 

A)  Poptart 

B) Cereal

C) Oatmeal 

D) Sausages/Bacon and eggs

As people who hope to see wholesome polygamous marriages being normalized we have a vested nterest in sites like this one and others that are less focused on the matchmaking aspect. What we have seen rather a lot of is people who are considering polygyny for what we would consider the wrong reasons. A few but certainly not all of the reasons that I would consider wrong are the couple's who simply wish to find their live in sex toy which will apparently spice up their intimate activities and cure all relationship woes, the horny husband with the grudging wife couples where she is clearly just going along to get along so to speak (lots of these woman are in the position they are in because their religious faith is being used as a lever to force them into agreeing to something they do not want) and the scammer; we have all seen the douchebag guys who will pretend to be anything that will get them at least short term sexual access to any woman, the pure scammer looking for money, the catfish who will pretend to be anything just to keep themselves entertained regardless of the emotional toll they might extract and the busybody who has decided that they know better than you what is right and moral for your family even though you are strangers. All of these will make people cautious about interactions that ideally should be perfectly safe, straightforward and wholesome. Because of the bad actors we all end up being cautious to one degree or another... I personally will council women to be quite cautious in dealings here just like on any dating site nut by the same token I tend to be cautious myself and recommend the same to other plural families. While our vulnerabilities are not the same as single women, nobody wants to get scammed, catfished or worst of all enter into a relationship that is doomed to fail because the person they fell for was approaching this lifestyle as a lark that sounds like fun for a while. Is there a solution? I wish I knew one. In a perfect world I would think that in-person mixers would be great. I like the idea of a large picnic or something of that nature. Lots of fun ideas occur to me but coordinating what amounts to a plural family convention and matchmaking festival. You would probably find me behind the bar.

Can we just ponder the irony of someone claiming how important it would be to have good communication to make a relationship work and that SAME person will block you for not a) seeing and b) responding to a message to them after THIRTY MINUTES!!!?  It really does make you wonder how self aware (and lack thereof) some people are who advertise themselves here.  For better or worse, I know myself pretty well,  I can be blunt and very sarcastic, I generally think I balance the line between funny and I am very careful not to offend those who might do something innocent or in jest.  In other words, I try to not let my words hurt UNLESS I want to, which is goes back to my bluntness and inability to ignore when I think something is wrong.  

But that's a long story and trying to learn to ignore better is a process I am working on. ;o)

Regardless,  as I said, I know myself, know my limits, know my wants and what I can and cannot handle.  I wonder how many people have really pondered how they really behave, how they are in and out of relationships, how they argue and indeed, how they communicate.

Or do they, as so many people who sign up in these groups do, feel that 'everything will work out fine with the RIGHT person'  thereby leaving the onus on the other person to fill in those relationship skills gap that these people invariably have.

After reading through a few blog posts on the site, I noticed that they all seem to come back to this idea that it's god's will or Christ's teachings that are guiding people to this path.  That's all fine and good, but I'm curious if there are others out there that are looking at this type a family unit from a more reasoned approach.  Just for clarification, I'm not suggesting that making choices based off of religious doctrine is impractical or unreasonable or whatever, but more that you are following a path that has been laid out before you.  Not having ever been religious, nor athiestic, I only have a layman's understanding of religion, so I can't and won't judge others based on their beliefs.

As for the practical side of things, I'm refering to basic pros and cons of this type of family.  The biggest appeal to me is the idea of 'more'.  More members of your tribe.  More real coonections.  More skills and ideas in your household.  More people to back you up and for you to back up.  More family members to share the challenges/burdons of child-rearing, home-ownership, and general living.  Now, the 'more' I speak of sounds self-serving, but it's a means to an end.  It allows you to have more time to devote to your loved ones, raise you children into better people, enjoy life, and help your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers to enjoy their lives more too.  With mre people, each of you requires less time to devote to the ratrace of life, and therefore, more time to devote to yourself and each other.

In a world filled with societies that are seeming more and more predatory, there is strength in numbers, in unity.

One thing I have noticed is that a lot of people can't handle constructive criticism and react very defensively to it. All I can say to it is, if you can't handle a bit of online criticism, you DEFINITELY cannot handle polygamy.  This is not the life for the very sensitive. 

Its absolutely amazing how with things falling apart, people are all of a sudden discovering that rural life might not be such a bad thing.

We're about 7 miles from the nearest 'c-store' - it has 2 pumps, 2 coolers, 6 types of smokes, 20 types of candy & gum, and coffee.  Population in a 10 mile radius is maybe 500 folks.  The cows outnumber people 20 or 50 to one.

We can see the Milky way EVERY night it isn't cloudy.  And have great sunsets.

If the stores start getting empty, well, we only go once a month and have a bit saved up. And a huge garden.  Might be shooting for the pot (rabbits all over the place) and eating our own cornbread, but it'll be all we can eat, not rationed.

No rent, so less worries.

And, with the internet & TV we still have ringside seats for the big show.

With that in mind, we are still looking for another wife.  Funny thing is that quite a few folks are aware that we practice polygyny; several of the mainstream culture women that had been a bit 'critical' of this have actually mentioned to the wives that their perspectives have changed a bit. A couple have even gone as far as to ask questions that would make me think that they might even want to be courted....

I suspect that in the coming weeks, with unemployment rising, debts accumulating, and urban unrest increasing, our little oasis of quiet may seem like paradise in comparison!

I wonder how many single women begin talking to families to ultimately only find out that the couple isn’t ready and now knows it.
I don’t like being anyone’s experiment.
I am not practice.
I wish I could count how many times in the last two years I’ve been told, “you’re an amazing beautiful woman and you deserve a couple who can commit to you.”
How about this one: “We have realized we aren’t ready for this lifestyle now. But we wish you the best and we’d like to stay friends.”
Oh gosh I have so many examples by now. I open up and become vulnerable only to find out a month in, that they don’t want a third.”
People...Families...Please please make sure you know what you want. Or give it a chance before suddenly dropping it with some epiphany that you don’t want another woman in the relationship.
My favorite *sarcasm* is when people admit their own insecurities and never think of mine.
“We are too busy to pursue this kind of relationship.”
Oh gosh I could go on and on.
I Still allow myself to stay open and vulnerable. It’s difficult. I am exhausted by the same story almost every time (outside of a very painful breakup with a more long term relationship).
Some of my friends and family wonder why I would keep looking. I know 100% what I want and seek. I wish everyone did. My feelings get hurt most when I feel like a trial run.
People
Be
Honest
With
Yourselves