If you are out there, and you just might happen to read this, and are truly serious and committed to living plural marriage, we would love to get to know you! All we want to do is find that special person for us, just like everyone else on this site. We are real, we are 100% all in! Talk with us, give us a chance, I can promise you that we will give that to you as well. We really, honest-to-goodness want to live plural marriage. All I'm asking for is to be given a chance.
Steve
As for the practical side of things, I'm refering to basic pros and cons of this type of family. The biggest appeal to me is the idea of 'more'. More members of your tribe. More real coonections. More skills and ideas in your household. More people to back you up and for you to back up. More family members to share the challenges/burdons of child-rearing, home-ownership, and general living. Now, the 'more' I speak of sounds self-serving, but it's a means to an end. It allows you to have more time to devote to your loved ones, raise you children into better people, enjoy life, and help your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers to enjoy their lives more too. With mre people, each of you requires less time to devote to the ratrace of life, and therefore, more time to devote to yourself and each other.
In a world filled with societies that are seeming more and more predatory, there is strength in numbers, in unity.
A) Poptart
B) Cereal
C) Oatmeal
D) Sausages/Bacon and eggs
I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.
The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls, it is part of the environment. The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites.
With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .
Now don't get me wrong... I am not white knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family.
The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.
I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.
Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.
Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind.
So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out.
"Man, you should be some sort of pimp!"
"I don't know how you do it. I can scarcely take great care of one!"
Those are the two sorts of reactions (other than the clear gaze) that are run of the mill when a man is 'turning out' to somebody about having a plural family. The littler gathering essentially accept that it's about the sex. The bigger gathering comprehends the duty that a Christian man has for the individuals from his family.
For the most part, in their reactions to the subject of polygamy, both men and ladies uncover something of what they consider the way of marriage and its expenses and advantages. Also, the truth of the matter is, you can't appreciate the diversion unless you concede to the tenets, and there's no reason for belligerence the relative benefits of polygamy with somebody that has a totally extraordinary esteem framework and comprehension of what marriage is than you do.
So in case you're engaging this nutty thought, be prompted that you would be advised to have your own particular esteems cleared up. A few people will acknowledge what you're doing on the grounds that they simply couldn't care less in particular, some have an "incline toward toleration" logic, and some will love you enough to at present love you notwithstanding when they think you've truly lost your brain. Yet, then again, some will believe you're odd funkily, some will believe you're irregular scarily, some will believe you're risky, and some will detest you.
All in all, our families and families we know have been tossed out of houses of worship, disregarded in their nearby groups, lost kids in care fights, had first spouses leave after it gets hard, been undermined with criminal arraignment (no feelings yet, express gratitude toward God), had developed youngsters cut us off, and in one case even had a demise risk. Not everyone, not in any case the vast majority, will despise you and attempt to hurt you. Simply enough individuals to keep it truly intriguing.
That is the awful news. The uplifting news is that this will improve you a man, a superior spouse, and a superior father. A superior sibling to other men in the collection of Christ. A more mindful adherent of the lessons of Jesus and a superior audience to the still, little voice of the Holy Spirit. In the event that you need this way of life to work—implanted in 21st century Western culture, with its open antagonistic vibe to and mistreatment of conventional parts and connections—you have no other decision.
But that's a long story and trying to learn to ignore better is a process I am working on. ;o)
Regardless, as I said, I know myself, know my limits, know my wants and what I can and cannot handle. I wonder how many people have really pondered how they really behave, how they are in and out of relationships, how they argue and indeed, how they communicate.
Or do they, as so many people who sign up in these groups do, feel that 'everything will work out fine with the RIGHT person' thereby leaving the onus on the other person to fill in those relationship skills gap that these people invariably have.