User blogs
It dawned on me though (hence the reason I am writing and the "post subject") that sometimes we become complacent in our search, in our dreams and goals. We tend to zone out and zombify in some senses as we wait. I urge you to stay vigilant and keep those dreams and goals in front of your face! Never stop fighting, and praying hard for what you want. Live this life if it will truly make you happy, but I ask you to sit there and question yourself honestly to make sure it is what you want. Too many peoples lives, and emotions are at stake in the end if you find out after having gone very far in this and realize you are not ready or do not want this. Do what makes you happy, live this life to its fullest and never look back with regret. Pray daily and really dive into God and see what He has for you!
these are just some thoughts I have had the past week or so and I am super glad I found an outlet for them to be. I hope that it helps and encourages even one person. 
That being said, one of the things that is jumping out to me a fair amount is just how many profiles demonstrate that several people are here looking for a good time, for new partners for sexual liaison or seeing the plural marriage pop culture boom and thinking it would be some kind of yolo adventure and that it might be cool for a while. That is what I see in the single women's profiles. In some of the couples profiles however it is far more of the predatory to desperate spectrum and I do not even slightly wonder at the fact that many are mystified by the lack of any response. In other couples profiles you will see the it is all about the ego stroke for the man equation being played out.
At the end of the day, personally I don't particularly care about being perceived as judgemental when so many are approaching plural marriage for all the wrong reasons. All that it will end up with is games being played, hearts being broken and families pulled apart.
Plural marriage is first and foremost a marriage. It is about love, permanence, giving each other support and the bonds of family. Plural marriage is not about jumping on the latest fad, it is not about your sexual fantasies or pumping up your ego.
Yeah yeah... standing on my soap box and preaching to an empty room. I know. Lame and pointless. It is frustrating though to browse through the site and see a handful of those who clearly take the idea of polygyny seriously and who are seeking their family or their new wife that are clearly having to wade through a sea of those who might be more suited to plenty of fish or some other hookup app.
This is supposed to be about love and family not being part of a fad.
I was feeling a little frustrated about a couple of things, so I thought I'd write them down. Not looking for praise or even approval if you're offended by it, just need to voice my thoughts. 
FYI, this is Dan speaking.)
To start, I need to "set the table" a little...
My background is that I grew up in a polygamous family in Salt Lake City (I was raised as a fundamentalist Mormon). I was raised in a religious background where it was commonplace to have a couple of wives by your late 20's. There was an intense pressure to ensure you were living polygamy. If you didn't, something was probably wrong with you since you weren't striving to "live Gods law".
In the last few years, I've had a few experiences that changed my religious viewpoints. Mostly, it was understanding that God loves me, wants the best for me, and that He wants me to love others as He does... pretty simply, right? Well, I never really understood it until I came to the conclusion that God ACTUALLY loved ME as an individual. It's a simple thing, but I finally had experiences where I knew and understood that God loves me for me. The last few years of my life I've felt more like I'm walking in Gods steps than I ever have before. It has excited me more than I can describe! It's almost like I'm in a footrace and have just been given the ability to run. It's simply amazing.
As I dove into scripture, I kept uncovering more and more evidence against my belief structure on polygamy, being that it was a "requirement" to fulfill Gods law. As I read and understood scriptures in more detail ---even the words of our own early religious leaders--- I found that many instances of what our beliefs were founded upon weren't actually scriptural. It was simply someone's opinion which turned into "modern-day" prophecy (though I would call it dogma).
As it stands now I can see many instances where polygamy can be damaging for families. I grew up and saw families who weren't supported by the husband/father; I saw times where the mothers HAD to work because they couldn't rely on their husband; I saw children who never knew their father, and their father never knew them; I saw times where women, of their own choice, joined into families simply because it was the "correct" thing to do, though they knew they would never have a REAL family. Sure, they would have children and roommates, but it was never a cohesive family; I saw families where the fathers were simply chasing skirts, where women became a number that they could add to their achievement list.
Despite my viewpoints on polygamy changing, I can still find benefits in polygamy. As a man, it's my natural inclination to want to protect others. (Personally, I'm very protective of my family... Laura calls me the family guard dog, because I tend to act like a dog barking at everything that might be shown as even mildly aggressive towards my family.) As a husband, father, and protector, I feel it's my responsibility to offer a home/family to women/children in need. I can see the benefits for a woman who has come from a bad home, relationship, etc., being able to live in a nurturing home where she's accepted and loved for who she is. Some people have told me it sounds like a"charity" family, to which I say "YES, IT IS!". Do we not think it's charity that God allows us to live, breathe, eat, have families, and be allowed to make mistakes and find forgiveness? We might live in a society where charity is frowned upon, but Newsflash, our entire life is built upon it. Learn to accept it, be grateful when you receive it, and cherish when you can pass it on.
In essence, as God showed me in the past, I want to love others simply because I love THEM. Not because I love the "polygamy lifestyle", or because it's a requirement, but because I LOVE THEM.
A few weeks ago, I told God in prayer that I was happy, willing, and would volunteer opening up our home for another woman looking for a family if He desired it. I felt compelled to open an account here and at least put the "vibes" out to the universe as it were and see what happens.
Since I've joined the website, I have felt very conflicted in how to approach the community, or even trying to make friends at times with women. I've heard from several ladies that they get inundated with messages from couples or families wanting to get to know them. Go figure, it's a dating site.... and while I'm sure it's generally innocent, I think most new-comers feel like a piece of meat being paraded around the dinner hall. I would wager that most ladies are coming here without much experience in polygamy, and while they might feel drawn to it, it's easy to get overwhelmed. Again, I'm sure it's generally innocent since most couples are probably excited about the lifestyle and want to share and love as I do, but I think it can muddy the water.
My whole purpose with getting onto this website was to open myself up and go through my own spiritual journey. I know that our family is open to the idea of adding to our family, but I don't want to pursue new relationships and force things to happen. I want things to happen because they are meant to. When/If the time ever comes that someone wants to join our family, I want it to be because we love them for them, and they love us for us. I want it to be honest, virtuous love.
I believe that you find what you are searching for in this life, good or bad. I want my pursuits to be good, honest, and for the betterment of my family and others. Yes, I want to find women and families that I can help by being a good husband/father to them. However, I don't think this is as simple as finding someone with a flat tire and changing it for them (cue Bill Murray in Groundhog Day). I want to open my life up to the possibilities, and know that when the time comes that it's meant to be.
So, how does all this come back to "searching for a Sisterwife"? I'm coming to the conclusion that searching out or trying to pursue new wives is backwards. While I plan on continuing being a part of this community, I am going to caution myself, and any others that need it, that we should keep our heads, morals, and sights held high. While it might be coming from a good place in most people's hearts, it's a new way of life for many women and I believe we should tap the brakes a little when someone new joins the website. Perhaps I have misconceptions from my past and seeing men pursue polygamy the way they did, but I have seen the same pursuit exhibited here in some degree or another.
If you truly desire the chance to open your home to a woman/family in need, it will come in time. Let's allow a safe space for women and their children to interview and research the polygamous lifestyle. Let them reach out and ask questions. If they're attracted to your family, allow them space to reach out and initiate contact. I'm afraid many women get turned off by the amount of responses they get, and see desperation more than optimism. Let's create a safe culture, give people freedom to explore, and honor their decisions if they pursue this lifestyle or not.
There are actually so many challenges when you consider being in a polygamous relationship, that it would be great to just get a break every once in a while. For example, one of the most unpleasant situations that you could deal with when meeting people any other way rather than online would be being rejected when you tell them that you are looking for Sister Wives or that you are interested in having more than one loving partner. Rejection is the worst and can do a number on your self-esteem.
That is exactly why you should be thinking about choosing a far superior alternative to regular dating. The good news is that now you can decide to search for another woman or another man or maybe even a couple that you can start a new relationship with. It would be even better if you simply relied on a social network just like ours where you can find proper profiles of people that have similar interests. Especially when talking about your amorous beliefs, it is better to stay away from regular dating sites. This is how you can avoid disappointment after disappointment.
The individuals that do not have the same expectations and desires when it comes to their love life are not a good match, especially if they only believe in what is considered to be the norm – that a couple should be a connection between two persons and that is it. Most probably, you telling them that you are already in a relationship and that you want to add someone new in the mix is going to make them judge you and will hear all sorts of remarks. If you have tried this before on regular dating sites, you have probably already dealt with such a situation.
The same happens when you meet people the regular way, in a restaurant, on your way to work and so on. The hard part here is telling them that you prefer polygamous relationships. Fortunately, when you visit our website, you know exactly what kind of persons you will comes across here. Forget about them judging you for your preferences and be yourself. You will feel so relaxed knowing that there does not need to be an elephant in the room. Here everyone already know a bit you and what you want because these bits of information are available on your profile.
If you are interested in being one of the Sister Wives that are already involved in a relationship or would like to find one, you can sign up on our website and create a profile. After sharing a bit about yourself, you can perform a simple search and see which of the existing members could be a perfect match. It might take a short while before you find exactly what you are looking for, depending on your preferences. Nevertheless, the entire process of chatting with all kinds of new people will be more than exciting and fun.
When it comes to Polygamy, you need to set some basic rules based on what you want and share them with the people that you meet. The best part about looking for these new matches online is that the entire process is simplified. Of course, the most important advantage in this case is that every single person that you are going to find on our website is looking for a polygamous relationship, one way or another. Some will be interested in starting a relationship with another woman or another man, while others will want to do that with a couple.
Another major advantage that you will enjoy when you look for dates online, on our website would be the fact that you can flirt regardless of your location. You can be in the same country as the person that you are contacting or you can be half a world away. It does not really matter. Our site will allow you to talk to them for as long as you want. If you are wondering how you can get started, you should know that it is as easy as 1 – 2 – 3. 1 – Visit our website and create your account, 2 – Edit your profile and add a photo, 3 – Perform a search and contact the members that you like.
You might also want to keep in mind the fact that you can keep up with your notifications such as any messages that you might have received from people who you have already talked to or that have just contacted you for the first time. You would just need to log into your account on our social network on a daily basis. Regardless of your current location – you might be at home, at work, on the train or even in a park. As long as you have an internet connection, you can flirt away.
It is interesting to know that one of your soulmates might be a few clicks away. The question that you have to ask yourself is: why wait? Instead of wasting any more time that you could otherwise spend having amazing conversations with people that understand you, it would be a much better idea to just create your account. You will not believe just how many dating opportunities you will have once you have the option of contacting our members.
At the same time, you might not even finish editing your profile and might get contacted by someone that shares your Polygamy values. Truth being told, the chances of finding love here are much greater than anywhere else. Why? Because in today’s society it is much easier to find someone who understands your principles if both of you meet in a place that was specifically created for individuals just as open minded as you are. Even if you have tried other social networks, you should give ours a try and see for yourself what makes us so different. If you have any additional questions regarding our social network, do not hesitate to leave us a message!
I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.
The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls, it is part of the environment. The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites.
With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .
Now don't get me wrong... I am not white knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family.
The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.
I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.
Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.
Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind.
So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out.
What are you considering?! Is it true that you are insane?!?
Alright, simply joking. As insane as this truly sounds to the world, or to anyone that is first dealing with this question, those of us who have been through the move and lived to tell have taken in a couple of things, and in all actuality on the off chance that you can ace your weaknesses and venture up to this way of life, you will be luxuriously remunerated. You will be all the more liberated to act naturally and to seek after your interests. You will share the highs and lows of your existence with more individuals that genuinely cherish you and need the best for you and are on your side. Furthermore, you will be free from the annoying trepidation that your better half will abandon you some time or another for another person.
There's a considerable measure to consider, a great deal of issues. Numerous advantages and disadvantages to be weighed. Take as much time as is needed.
On the off chance that you are as of now wedded, and you and your significant other have begun discussing this, DON'T accept that your better half is quite recently searching for more sex, or is exhausted with you, or in any capacity considers less you a man and as a spouse. We can't represent precisely what's experiencing your better half's brain, however consider the accompanying cases:
A lady who has had a child, and that infant is currently two or three years of age, may wind up needing another infant. It doesn't mean she doesn't love her first tyke. She simply needs a greater amount of what she has, and to the degree she is a decent mother and is generally benevolent, she simply needs to dispatch all the more balanced youngsters into the world.
A business person who has enlisted a worker, whose business is as yet developing, may choose to enlist another representative. It doesn't mean there is anything amiss with the execution of the main worker. It just implies that the business is developing and needs more hands to deal with the work process.
An undergrad who has a companion she invests a great deal of energy with may meet another companion—somebody fascinating and invigorating that she needs to become more acquainted with better and thinks might be a decent long haul companion. The 'old companion' could get desirous and possessive and attempt to undermine the new relationship, or she could value the new companion, maybe build up her own relationship, and to the degree them three all appreciated each other's conversation and delighted in doing things together, they'd all be wealthier for it.
Clearly none of these cases hits precisely being a spouse. In any case, each in its own specific manner hits a piece of being a spouse. Regardless of whether it's the arrangement and insurance that a spouse offers a wife and a mother offers a youngster, or the feeling of cooperation and fellowship that describes solid business connections, or the basic fraternity of a decent companion, none of these connections is essentially debilitated by the expansion of more connections. When they're set well, "the more, the merrier".
In the event that you are thinking about turning into a man's second or third spouse, your circumstance is comparable in some ways, and diverse in others. You're measuring whether to surrender trusts and dreams in some relationship that hasn't happened yet; the primary spouse is managing feeling deceived, similar to some person changed the arrangement on her without inquiring. You're feeling sort of exceptional that your man would need to add you to his family; she's fondling somewhat utilized and dismissed that he would need to add you to the family, which is her family, as well, coincidentally. In any case a similar question presents itself: Where does your self-esteem originated from? What makes you like yourself and gives you seek after what's to come?
That is a ton to consider. Gone up against with the likelihood that what God needs for your life is drastically not quite the same as what you have been directed to expect, it's reasonable this would be a troublesome and some of the time enthusiastic process. Be that as it may, don't stop. Try not to surrender. What you're experiencing now will pass. Concentrate on what's valid about the affection for God and the will of God, "and reality might make you free".
"Man, you should be some sort of pimp!"
"I don't know how you do it. I can scarcely take great care of one!"
Those are the two sorts of reactions (other than the clear gaze) that are run of the mill when a man is 'turning out' to somebody about having a plural family. The littler gathering essentially accept that it's about the sex. The bigger gathering comprehends the duty that a Christian man has for the individuals from his family.
For the most part, in their reactions to the subject of polygamy, both men and ladies uncover something of what they consider the way of marriage and its expenses and advantages. Also, the truth of the matter is, you can't appreciate the diversion unless you concede to the tenets, and there's no reason for belligerence the relative benefits of polygamy with somebody that has a totally extraordinary esteem framework and comprehension of what marriage is than you do.
So in case you're engaging this nutty thought, be prompted that you would be advised to have your own particular esteems cleared up. A few people will acknowledge what you're doing on the grounds that they simply couldn't care less in particular, some have an "incline toward toleration" logic, and some will love you enough to at present love you notwithstanding when they think you've truly lost your brain. Yet, then again, some will believe you're odd funkily, some will believe you're irregular scarily, some will believe you're risky, and some will detest you.
All in all, our families and families we know have been tossed out of houses of worship, disregarded in their nearby groups, lost kids in care fights, had first spouses leave after it gets hard, been undermined with criminal arraignment (no feelings yet, express gratitude toward God), had developed youngsters cut us off, and in one case even had a demise risk. Not everyone, not in any case the vast majority, will despise you and attempt to hurt you. Simply enough individuals to keep it truly intriguing.
That is the awful news. The uplifting news is that this will improve you a man, a superior spouse, and a superior father. A superior sibling to other men in the collection of Christ. A more mindful adherent of the lessons of Jesus and a superior audience to the still, little voice of the Holy Spirit. In the event that you need this way of life to work—implanted in 21st century Western culture, with its open antagonistic vibe to and mistreatment of conventional parts and connections—you have no other decision.
