User blogs

Hello I would like to introduce myself my name is Monique and I am brand new to the site I have been thinking about this for a while after I got divorced five years ago because lately I’ve been kind of the second will in a relationship so why keep such a gem a secret when she can be out in the open.

hi everyone, and i'm pleased to be back.  

i'm not breaking any new ground when saying that this has been a very hard year.  i won't even get into politics, i promise :). it's been hard because it's been isolating, and things like depression can take over. i was active here in the spring, when at least as we emerged from the hard times of April, i felt some sense of hope, but then we had waves of challenges here in FL and other southern states, and it honestly made me withdraw.

that was a hard thing to do, and not the right thing either.  i could protect myself, but in doing so, i harmed myself by not allowing the exploration of the loving relationship with a Man and my sisters that i so deeply crave, and need, and that God has told me is the way to live.  it was humbling to admit that alone i do not have the strength, but in partnership with a Man and my sisters, i can find strength.

And so, here i am again!  i remain all the things i've come to know myself to be: smart and caring, humble and submissive, a believer in God and His way, and ready to be in service to my Husband.

We have literally been on every site imaginable and are dedicated to finding someone who will join our family. Unfortunately, we’ve had to endure nothing but catfish, scammers and flakes for the past year of trying. I do know that we are a great catch! We honestly blame the sites for not applying more security or verification measures in order to mitigate or completely prevent such profiles from being created. Being parents it’s hard to mingle or find a babysitter. We’ll see what the future holds. For all you true explorers trying to find that one, best of luck! Just don’t get roped into a scam! Ask real questions, never send money to someone, don’t release personally identifiable information to anyone. If you agree to meet with someone, make Sir family/friends have a picture of the person, location you are going, time you are meeting them, when you’ll be back/or when you’ll text/call them, and any other relevant information you can muster.

Can we just ponder the irony of someone claiming how important it would be to have good communication to make a relationship work and that SAME person will block you for not a) seeing and b) responding to a message to them after THIRTY MINUTES!!!?  It really does make you wonder how self aware (and lack thereof) some people are who advertise themselves here.  For better or worse, I know myself pretty well,  I can be blunt and very sarcastic, I generally think I balance the line between funny and I am very careful not to offend those who might do something innocent or in jest.  In other words, I try to not let my words hurt UNLESS I want to, which is goes back to my bluntness and inability to ignore when I think something is wrong.  

But that's a long story and trying to learn to ignore better is a process I am working on. ;o)

Regardless,  as I said, I know myself, know my limits, know my wants and what I can and cannot handle.  I wonder how many people have really pondered how they really behave, how they are in and out of relationships, how they argue and indeed, how they communicate.

Or do they, as so many people who sign up in these groups do, feel that 'everything will work out fine with the RIGHT person'  thereby leaving the onus on the other person to fill in those relationship skills gap that these people invariably have.

When I started studying poly 3 or so years ago, I had no idea that it would be as involved as it was or make so many changes in my life and christian walk.

One of the massive changes in my family’s life was that we were unwelcome in a church that we loved, and were actively participants in, and I had a large role teaching adults in.

We were summarily given the left foot of fellowship, simply because I had been studying this “taboo” topic, and had concluded in favor of it.  Not because we were looking for another wife or anything like that.  Simply studying it and accepting it as a theoretically, Biblically acceptable family structure was enough for people I’d considered friends for over a decade to do a Jekyl/Hyde transformation.  Only one person actually tried to look at the Bible with me over it and that was not the Pastor or Deacons.

My point with all of this, is that most of the time, for single Christian women who are hoping to marry into a family with a God fearing christian man, the possibility of continuing to be an active member of a church while being a plural wife is a very slim to none possibility.  At least if you are public about it in the very least.  

There are definitely alternative solutions to this issue, many home assemblies are ok with it, and many christian men who are poly for biblical reasons are a cut above most Corporate Christianity nodders, and should be more than capable of leading you into a closer walk with the Saviour.

Don’t let this discourage you from your search, just understand that there are more life changes to this than sharing a great man!

Hello Everyone, hope you are all keeping safe during these uncertain times. Just wanted to briefly say a few words about community building and friendships with those who seek this similar life of polygamy. Polygamy is found more in nature than monogamy (which barely exist). This means nature has a reason why this life of polygamy is innate and effective, However, we have for thousands of years been influenced by many philosophies and social behaviours that might not aid in a polygamous life. Many times the women or men we meet on here just do not work out because of those philosophies and social behaviour.  Don't expect to always find someone quickly. Build a mental community. Build bonds with people who know that you like this life. Figure each other out and get to know ways in which you can create a new path from the many different paths you are all coming from. My wife and I came from different paths, and we are able to be fully united and free from arguments because we got to know each other's path and form a new path. Monogamous relationships sometimes are painful and a lot of that has to do with the influence of society. Society transforms us into what it wants and oftentimes that conflicts with nature. This brings the many complex problems relationships face today. Polygamy is a beautiful but nature strategic way of living. It can be powerful, it can be effective, but should be done with joy and patience as we learn this new/old and natural way of living. 

I have always felt the kids should come first in any relationship.. I also feel kids should be taught self sufficiency. In todays world, with all of the uncertainty and major issues, kids should be taught to garden, food preservation, how to care for livestock, taught to drive a vehicle with a clutch, how to hunt and fish. Survival techniques also, edible wild plants and medicinal herbs. How to build a shelter, start a fire even in inclement conditions. How to tell north and south in the wilderness. Firearms training and marksmanship. So many of these life skills are being left behind in the technological world we live in. Of course, you have to have a parent(s) who know these skills. 

Teach your children well. 

After reading through a few blog posts on the site, I noticed that they all seem to come back to this idea that it's god's will or Christ's teachings that are guiding people to this path.  That's all fine and good, but I'm curious if there are others out there that are looking at this type a family unit from a more reasoned approach.  Just for clarification, I'm not suggesting that making choices based off of religious doctrine is impractical or unreasonable or whatever, but more that you are following a path that has been laid out before you.  Not having ever been religious, nor athiestic, I only have a layman's understanding of religion, so I can't and won't judge others based on their beliefs.

As for the practical side of things, I'm refering to basic pros and cons of this type of family.  The biggest appeal to me is the idea of 'more'.  More members of your tribe.  More real coonections.  More skills and ideas in your household.  More people to back you up and for you to back up.  More family members to share the challenges/burdons of child-rearing, home-ownership, and general living.  Now, the 'more' I speak of sounds self-serving, but it's a means to an end.  It allows you to have more time to devote to your loved ones, raise you children into better people, enjoy life, and help your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers to enjoy their lives more too.  With mre people, each of you requires less time to devote to the ratrace of life, and therefore, more time to devote to yourself and each other.

In a world filled with societies that are seeming more and more predatory, there is strength in numbers, in unity.

Dear Friends, To begin with, I am not judging those who are strictly or primarily interested in finding a sexual partner. That is your business and I think everyone understands that. Moreover, people have a lot of different types of lifestyles and beliefs and it is agreed that it is best to recognize that everyone should have the right to live as they wish. 

What I am going to discuss today is the question: when is the right time to talk about sex? The answer to that is often times not so simple. Being as I am not into swinging I am going to examine this question from the standpoint of someone who is really looking for a permanent life partner. 

To begin with, when I look over a profile one of the things that puts me off is displaying sexual pictures. No matter what the woman is really like, I tend to make assumption if I see too much of body right off the bat. I like a woman's form as much as anyone else, but if a woman reveals herself right away to me (an everyone else) that sends the message that she is advertising her body for a romp in the hay and not a really, lasting relationship (so to speak).  Being as fidelity is of paramount importance to me and my family, I ask myself, "could I ever trust such a woman to be faithful? 

Furthermore, if the first thing out of my mouth (or in text) is a "come-on: full of sexual innuendo, am I worth a real relationship with the person I'm talking to?  Again, I think not. 

In my opinion (which I realize is just that), I don't think that women who are really wanting a good man, wants him to zero in on her body or sexual acts right away.  I suppose, if both parties are just interested in hooking up, that would be a different matter, but for those who are honestly looking for someone to add to they hearts and home, that is not what we're looking. 

Moreover, when people come at women, who are seriously looking to join a family, with sex talk, that may tend to sour them on the whole concept.  Perhaps it even ends up driving them away from this site and from the notion of poly altogether. 

For me, personally, I will not talk about sex with a woman until there is a relationship that warrants such a conversation.  The woman I want would not lead with sexuality either.  While we are both adults and intimacy is at the heart of any vibrant relationship, getting to know her character and spirit, is the place to start for me.  Practically any woman can be very sexy if she is really in love with the man she's with, so it is not necessary to advertise that initially because it is a given. 

Some women have learned that being sexy or, appearing to be sexy, gets them a lot of attention.  Furthermore, the promise of sex with men can lead them to advantages in all sorts of ways.  However, given the choice between getting what they want through advertising their bodies and having those things given to them freely by a man who truly loves them as a person, I think many might prefer a real relationship. 

Also, and I think this is a valid point, just wanting to use a woman (or a man) only for your pleasure degrades them as a human being. 

In conclusion, I think "sex talk" might be better reserved for the time when their is a love relationship that is appropriate for that kind of intimacy.  Getting to know a woman or a man well before sex is perhaps the safest way to know what you are getting yourself in to. 

Lastly, if hooking up is really all you want to do, are their not other places better suited for find such a situation?  Why hide what you really want behind the facade of finding a sister wife if all you want is a sexual partner with little or no commitment?

Finally, everyone can do and be what they want.  I just know for myself, I want a woman good character, a sweet heart, and a loyal disposition.  If I can find that, everything else will follow.

Big hugs and lots of love,

Michael and family

A survey recently asked me what the advantages of marrying me would be. 

 My wife would be better to ask since she's the one who has actual experience being married to me - but from what she tells me I am very good at meeting her needs physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

In another question I was asked to describe my family and relationships.  

 We strive to build celestial quality relationships with each other that will last beyond this life. Though I do not always live up to my ideals, I believe that the best way to lead as a husband and father is by example, persuasion, gentleness, love, and kindness. 

I was also asked to articulate my life's greatest goals and ambitions.  

 Above all else, I seek to be an instrument in God's hands to serve and bless as many people as He sends my way. To be a good husband, father, friend, and neighbor. To honor my priesthood and divine sonship. To defend truth and virtue. To teach my children to love and serve God, and enjoy happiness together as they continue to grow. To build my garden, orchard, vineyard, and eventually livestock up to where we can raise everything we need and not have to go to the grocery store more than a few times a year. Last for now (but not least), to read my library of 3000+ books (and always growing).