User blogs

hi everyone, and i'm pleased to be back.  

i'm not breaking any new ground when saying that this has been a very hard year.  i won't even get into politics, i promise :). it's been hard because it's been isolating, and things like depression can take over. i was active here in the spring, when at least as we emerged from the hard times of April, i felt some sense of hope, but then we had waves of challenges here in FL and other southern states, and it honestly made me withdraw.

that was a hard thing to do, and not the right thing either.  i could protect myself, but in doing so, i harmed myself by not allowing the exploration of the loving relationship with a Man and my sisters that i so deeply crave, and need, and that God has told me is the way to live.  it was humbling to admit that alone i do not have the strength, but in partnership with a Man and my sisters, i can find strength.

And so, here i am again!  i remain all the things i've come to know myself to be: smart and caring, humble and submissive, a believer in God and His way, and ready to be in service to my Husband.

Hello I would like to introduce myself my name is Monique and I am brand new to the site I have been thinking about this for a while after I got divorced five years ago because lately I’ve been kind of the second will in a relationship so why keep such a gem a secret when she can be out in the open.

Can we just ponder the irony of someone claiming how important it would be to have good communication to make a relationship work and that SAME person will block you for not a) seeing and b) responding to a message to them after THIRTY MINUTES!!!?  It really does make you wonder how self aware (and lack thereof) some people are who advertise themselves here.  For better or worse, I know myself pretty well,  I can be blunt and very sarcastic, I generally think I balance the line between funny and I am very careful not to offend those who might do something innocent or in jest.  In other words, I try to not let my words hurt UNLESS I want to, which is goes back to my bluntness and inability to ignore when I think something is wrong.  

But that's a long story and trying to learn to ignore better is a process I am working on. ;o)

Regardless,  as I said, I know myself, know my limits, know my wants and what I can and cannot handle.  I wonder how many people have really pondered how they really behave, how they are in and out of relationships, how they argue and indeed, how they communicate.

Or do they, as so many people who sign up in these groups do, feel that 'everything will work out fine with the RIGHT person'  thereby leaving the onus on the other person to fill in those relationship skills gap that these people invariably have.

When I started studying poly 3 or so years ago, I had no idea that it would be as involved as it was or make so many changes in my life and christian walk.

One of the massive changes in my family’s life was that we were unwelcome in a church that we loved, and were actively participants in, and I had a large role teaching adults in.

We were summarily given the left foot of fellowship, simply because I had been studying this “taboo” topic, and had concluded in favor of it.  Not because we were looking for another wife or anything like that.  Simply studying it and accepting it as a theoretically, Biblically acceptable family structure was enough for people I’d considered friends for over a decade to do a Jekyl/Hyde transformation.  Only one person actually tried to look at the Bible with me over it and that was not the Pastor or Deacons.

My point with all of this, is that most of the time, for single Christian women who are hoping to marry into a family with a God fearing christian man, the possibility of continuing to be an active member of a church while being a plural wife is a very slim to none possibility.  At least if you are public about it in the very least.  

There are definitely alternative solutions to this issue, many home assemblies are ok with it, and many christian men who are poly for biblical reasons are a cut above most Corporate Christianity nodders, and should be more than capable of leading you into a closer walk with the Saviour.

Don’t let this discourage you from your search, just understand that there are more life changes to this than sharing a great man!

Hello Everyone, hope you are all keeping safe during these uncertain times. Just wanted to briefly say a few words about community building and friendships with those who seek this similar life of polygamy. Polygamy is found more in nature than monogamy (which barely exist). This means nature has a reason why this life of polygamy is innate and effective, However, we have for thousands of years been influenced by many philosophies and social behaviours that might not aid in a polygamous life. Many times the women or men we meet on here just do not work out because of those philosophies and social behaviour.  Don't expect to always find someone quickly. Build a mental community. Build bonds with people who know that you like this life. Figure each other out and get to know ways in which you can create a new path from the many different paths you are all coming from. My wife and I came from different paths, and we are able to be fully united and free from arguments because we got to know each other's path and form a new path. Monogamous relationships sometimes are painful and a lot of that has to do with the influence of society. Society transforms us into what it wants and oftentimes that conflicts with nature. This brings the many complex problems relationships face today. Polygamy is a beautiful but nature strategic way of living. It can be powerful, it can be effective, but should be done with joy and patience as we learn this new/old and natural way of living. 

Seeking a lifetime with sisterwives in a Christian household just seems impossible

I figured that I'd start chronicling the adventures here at the farm - especially in regards to our search for a sisterwife.

We've been a poly family for a decade or so - three of us.  During the last 3 or four years we have been looking off and on.

We realized from the start that we have several things that limit our potential match pool.  First of all, is the 'rural' issue - we are 35 miles from a city.  We own our farmstead, so our 'match' needs to be willing to relocate.  Additionally, we are in Texas, have kids, and dogs.  We don't have huge disposable incomes and are the opposite of 'glamourous'.  We are much more 'prepper' and 'off-grid'.  Also, we are not into the party/drug/booze/swinging lifestyles.  The one bright spot in our searching is that we are not set on a specific 'look' or age.  

So, our potential match pool is pretty small no matter how you look at it.

Over the years we have learned that the vast majority of single women profiles are garbage.  First off, there is a significant number that are outright fake - for whatever reason.  These folks could be easily eliminated by the sites by ID verification, IP tracking, and text/phone verification.  That would effectively eliminate duplicates and stop the majority of scammers, once identified, from starting over.  But, that would reduce the number of 'members' which in turn is believed to reduce the incentive for couples to pay....  So no dating sites have really cracked down on it.  In fact most of the software packages have 'fakes' bundled.  Of the ones that are 'real', many are shopping for the best deal they can get and move from family to family.  Others want to be 'pillow princesses'.  And then there are some that are outright psycho or even mentally disabled that have seen the 'sisterwives' shows and feel that that is what they want.  Some are even looking to actively attempt to destabilize existing poly families for personal gratification or the 'get even' for previous failed relationships (hell raisers).

About the term 'pillow princess' - both of the wives use this term to describe the women that feel that they can 'join' without bringing (or doing) anything other than playing in the bedroom.  They expect to be taken care of - room, board, etc - yet contribute nothing to the family.  If they work outside, they typically keep everything they earn and spend it on themselves (car, clothes, etc.)

We have run into every one of these many times.  Yet, we still keep looking.  

After reading through a few blog posts on the site, I noticed that they all seem to come back to this idea that it's god's will or Christ's teachings that are guiding people to this path.  That's all fine and good, but I'm curious if there are others out there that are looking at this type a family unit from a more reasoned approach.  Just for clarification, I'm not suggesting that making choices based off of religious doctrine is impractical or unreasonable or whatever, but more that you are following a path that has been laid out before you.  Not having ever been religious, nor athiestic, I only have a layman's understanding of religion, so I can't and won't judge others based on their beliefs.

As for the practical side of things, I'm refering to basic pros and cons of this type of family.  The biggest appeal to me is the idea of 'more'.  More members of your tribe.  More real coonections.  More skills and ideas in your household.  More people to back you up and for you to back up.  More family members to share the challenges/burdons of child-rearing, home-ownership, and general living.  Now, the 'more' I speak of sounds self-serving, but it's a means to an end.  It allows you to have more time to devote to your loved ones, raise you children into better people, enjoy life, and help your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers to enjoy their lives more too.  With mre people, each of you requires less time to devote to the ratrace of life, and therefore, more time to devote to yourself and each other.

In a world filled with societies that are seeming more and more predatory, there is strength in numbers, in unity.

Websites like this gives us the opportunity to build networks and relationships with people who are like minded with us. It is understood that we are here to find a match first and foremost, but we also have an opportunity to build networks and give support to each other. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone just to say hi, how is your search going? Platonic friendships here can also go a far way and lead to powerful relationships. 

A survey recently asked me what the advantages of marrying me would be. 

 My wife would be better to ask since she's the one who has actual experience being married to me - but from what she tells me I am very good at meeting her needs physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

In another question I was asked to describe my family and relationships.  

 We strive to build celestial quality relationships with each other that will last beyond this life. Though I do not always live up to my ideals, I believe that the best way to lead as a husband and father is by example, persuasion, gentleness, love, and kindness. 

I was also asked to articulate my life's greatest goals and ambitions.  

 Above all else, I seek to be an instrument in God's hands to serve and bless as many people as He sends my way. To be a good husband, father, friend, and neighbor. To honor my priesthood and divine sonship. To defend truth and virtue. To teach my children to love and serve God, and enjoy happiness together as they continue to grow. To build my garden, orchard, vineyard, and eventually livestock up to where we can raise everything we need and not have to go to the grocery store more than a few times a year. Last for now (but not least), to read my library of 3000+ books (and always growing).