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Noblebeau

Growing up, even as a young boy, I always knew there was more.  I grew up and was raised as a Mormon boy with all the great things that includes like becoming a Boy Scout, learning to speak in front of congregations of 500 people, playing basketball, studying the Bible, and going on campouts with the guys.  It was great but something was missing.  I read about polygamy in our history and I, even though young, understood why they would choose to live that lifestyle.  It made sense to me even at the very young age of 12 years old.  I had never met a family that had a plural life but I could imagine the happiness it could bring. As I grew older I knew that "we", as humans, as people, as spirits, were capable of so much more that what our society was telling us was "normal".  Not because it would make a god, or the God, happy....but because it would make life here better, happier, and more complete.....if done correctly...if the people involved understood how to live "the right way" with each other.  (the "right way" is subjective but a later blog post I hope


I grew up Mormon but left for a time.  I was married and had babies.   Then, realizing I didnt like how tough some of our culture was and how devoid of any thought towards a spiritual life many people were, I decided to go back to the Mormon (LDS) faith to help me instill morals and God into the hearts of my children.  It was important for me to raise my babies with a sense of who God was, that they are important to me and to themselves, and that they were with others who were striving to be moral and good people.  However, as time wore on I could see the "childishness" of the religion.  The requirement to do certain things that didnt make sense to me on any level.  The requirement to be something that seemed only for mans sake and not something that a god would want.  And at some point I realized that I knew more about life and spirituality than those that were teaching me and my children. So I took the best of what the LDS church had taught me and decided to be independent but moral, brave but humble, religious but not relentless, meek but not mild.  I would teach my children the best of what I had found.  And free them from the burden of religion.  And be more enlightened about our spiritual side of life.  


I remember feeling so free when I realized that I do believe in a God, but if there was a God, he would love me as a person no matter where I went to church, even in my own front room, or on a camping trip with my family, that if there was a God, he would want me to succeed and to return to be wherever he is and be happy.  That he would not look down on me for wanting more, for loving more, in fact, he would find joy in my joy as I wanted to make a larger family and see all of them experience the joy of living in a home that was full of love, soft-spoken words, activities to build relationships, and so much more.  I realized that society and structure had created a family system that was breaking down.  A monogamous structure giving men too much power and leaving women alone, tired, and afraid.  I realized that men and women are different.  I want to love and protect her and my children.  And she wanted more bond with the women around her. And, the way to have true happiness was to love more, be more, do more, and to give more.


Some men, and some women, though mostly men, would be horrible at living this lifestyle and would damage homes, mothers, and lives.  To live this lifestyle I can see that the father of the home needs to be gentle with children, ensure situations are dealt with in a soft tone and with love, and fathers need to work and secure the needs and wants of the family, additionally fathers need to set an example of loving others and being respectful, but most of all they need to create a safe home, a place where little ones can grow and become whatever it is they are meant to become.  Understanding, compassion, love, trust, charity, and confidence that he is doing the right thing to help those around him...those are the foundation to a sound family relationship and a beautiful home where children can become so much more.  And where women are empowered, supported, find companionship, and thrive as they each reach their goals with the support of sisters.


I would have 1000 wives if I could.  It is not about physical intimacy, although that is important, but it is about wanting to spread my arms and gather in all the sweet, amazing, sad, and lonely people I see.  I see so many women wanting a man but realizing their options are young men with an uncertain future and no responsibility.  They either can choose a young immature man or find one that has had many divorces, has baggage and has proven not to be able to build a house for a family.  So many women are left by their husbands and now caring for their babies and the extra burden of finances.  Anna understands and supports my desire to help and love those around me.  However, I can only do so much directly.  I can see that if a husband takes on too much responsibility then his family suffers.  There is a balance that needs to be found in order to create the best harmony in a families life.  So as much as I would help thousands, I can only realistically reach a few directly.  Perhaps 3 women under my roof and their babies.  And, as a family we will reach out and help others and as a team, as a family, we will help hundreds....and more.  


As I have emailed some women here letting them know I would be interested in getting to know them better I have worried that they won't know my feelings about life and love and family and will just assume I am like other men in the world that seek physical intimacy only.  I have sought to put here, in writing, a description of what can be, a recipe for happiness that I ascribe to, a way of life that brings harmony, and a commitment that I am willing to give to whomever next blesses my life with theirs.  We are excited to meet her, eager to find her, and love the idea of what can be, but not for the same reasons the rest of the world gets excited.  We want to give more, love more, and ultimately be more.  And not just for a minute, a year, or a fleeting time.  We are a forever family.  We believe that people who marry and have children should only do so when they are ready to commit for life....or God willing....eternity.   Through thick and thin we love and encourage each other.  Loyalty to each other and to the children will set a foundation upon which love can work to create a family and a future some only dream of.  And, in this lifestyle, love and abundance will be flowing from multiple directions to each other at all times.  We, as a team, as a family, will create.... heaven on earth if you will.


I put this here because you are wondering, who is he, what is his intention in contacting me, why, when, where?  Now you know a little about who I am.  The rest of the questions can be answered quickly if you have any....just say Hi. 


Know that if you say hello we understand that it is a simple hello.  We know it will take time to get to know each other.  At least we will get the chance to possibly make a new friend.  And that is worth it.  We are excited to meet new friends and people that believe as we do and to create a future and a life that is more full of everything.


Whatever your circumstance, whatever your past, know that I am here, we are here, a safe place in the storm, a heaven on earth, a warm place to grow.  


Come find me, come find us, come if you are ready and willing to be a part of a something bigger, to be more, to spread love, to enjoy life, to be........................a family.

Noblebeau Mar 11 · Tags: family, love, forever, trust, god
DanSmith
Pretty short on this topic, but it was an eye opener for me that I should be a little more transparent with my kids about some of our potential life decisions. I had an interesting encounter with my daughter today about polygamy, and I figured some of you might get a laugh or at least share the pain.

I was on my phone this morning responding to a couple messages on Sisterwives when my oldest daughter (Hannah/8) trots over and gives me what I thought to be a hug. After a second, she acts startled and yells out "DAD, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SISTERWIFE???" Apparently, she had started reading my private conversations while giving me a quick hug. (Despite my best attempts, my children at times have no regard for manners or personal space.) Either it was a lack of understanding the privacy of an IM, or she was simply snooping to see what I was doing, but she quickly deduced that I must be looking around for another wife. Oh boy.

After that outburst, Hannah started getting upset with me. I assume it's probably due to jealousy for her mother (coming to her defense as her father was "stepping out" as she interpreted it), so I couldn't get upset with her righteous indignation. I'm glad that she is defensive of her mother and will even go to bat with Dad if I'm not treating Mom well by her interpretation. I gave Hannah some background as to why we are on Sisterwives, and simply told her that we're being open to the possibilities. I didn't go into everything, but I gave her enough to help answer some questions.

Anyway, my lesson from this is while the husband/wife might be open and on the same page with polygamy, it might be worth mentioning to your older children what possibilities you are opening your family up to. You will need to decide what your children might be ready for. Either way, don't let them find out by snooping on your phone... it's much more difficult playing defense than offense .

(In Hannah's defense, after we started talking it turns out her biggest concern was that she didn't want a baby brother since girls are so much better....... I can only hope and pray that she keeps that attitude for the next 12 years.)
DanSmith Mar 9 · Comments: 4 · Tags: family, funny, lifelesson
Noblequest
To each their own and all...

That being said, one of the things that is jumping out to me a fair amount is just how many profiles demonstrate that several people are here looking for a good time, for new partners for sexual liaison or seeing the plural marriage pop culture boom and thinking it would be some kind of yolo adventure and that it might be cool for a while. That is what I see in the single women's profiles. In some of the couples profiles however it is far more of the predatory to desperate spectrum and I do not even slightly wonder at the fact that many are mystified by the lack of any response. In other couples profiles you will see the it is all about the ego stroke for the man equation being played out.

At the end of the day, personally I don't particularly care about being perceived as judgemental when so many are approaching plural marriage for all the wrong reasons. All that it will end up with is games being played, hearts being broken and families pulled apart. 

Plural marriage is first and foremost a marriage. It is about love, permanence, giving each other support and the bonds of family. Plural marriage is not about jumping on the latest fad, it is not about your sexual fantasies or pumping up your ego. 


Yeah yeah... standing on my soap box and preaching to an empty room. I know. Lame and pointless. It is frustrating though to browse through the site and see a handful of those who clearly take the idea of polygyny seriously and who are seeking their family or their new wife that are clearly having to wade through a sea of those who might be more suited to plenty of fish or some other hookup app. 


This is supposed to be about love and family not being part of a fad.



Noblequest Feb 21 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 8 · Tags: family, familynotfad, notabouthookups
SoulShepherd
I met a single mom the other day. She is stressed, exhausted, miserable. She has an adorable 4 year old son. She's young, 25 or so. She is working herself to death just trying to keep shelter over their heads. They stress is prematurely aging her. I asked what she wanted, said she was still looking for her prince charming.


My heart broke for her. I imagined a family where she is valued, surrounded by love, her child enveloped in the love of another mom and a dad...adults he could anchor to. The stability and security of a poly family makes more sense than anything else Ive heard.


I am a dad, I've raised 6 children (3 boys, 3 girls). I am stable, have room, have a heart full of love. Travel, stability, love, security, why couldn't this work?

SoulShepherd Nov 7 '17 · Comments: 3 · Tags: security, stability, ffm, single moms, love, family
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