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Tag search results for: "family"
DanSmith
Pretty short on this topic, but it was an eye opener for me that I should be a little more transparent with my kids about some of our potential life decisions. I had an interesting encounter with my daughter today about polygamy, and I figured some of you might get a laugh or at least share the pain.

I was on my phone this morning responding to a couple messages on Sisterwives when my oldest daughter (Hannah/8) trots over and gives me what I thought to be a hug. After a second, she acts startled and yells out "DAD, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SISTERWIFE???" Apparently, she had started reading my private conversations while giving me a quick hug. (Despite my best attempts, my children at times have no regard for manners or personal space.) Either it was a lack of understanding the privacy of an IM, or she was simply snooping to see what I was doing, but she quickly deduced that I must be looking around for another wife. Oh boy.

After that outburst, Hannah started getting upset with me. I assume it's probably due to jealousy for her mother (coming to her defense as her father was "stepping out" as she interpreted it), so I couldn't get upset with her righteous indignation. I'm glad that she is defensive of her mother and will even go to bat with Dad if I'm not treating Mom well by her interpretation. I gave Hannah some background as to why we are on Sisterwives, and simply told her that we're being open to the possibilities. I didn't go into everything, but I gave her enough to help answer some questions.

Anyway, my lesson from this is while the husband/wife might be open and on the same page with polygamy, it might be worth mentioning to your older children what possibilities you are opening your family up to. You will need to decide what your children might be ready for. Either way, don't let them find out by snooping on your phone... it's much more difficult playing defense than offense .

(In Hannah's defense, after we started talking it turns out her biggest concern was that she didn't want a baby brother since girls are so much better....... I can only hope and pray that she keeps that attitude for the next 12 years.)
DanSmith Mar 9 · Comments: 5 · Tags: family, funny, lifelesson
Noblequest
To each their own and all...

That being said, one of the things that is jumping out to me a fair amount is just how many profiles demonstrate that several people are here looking for a good time, for new partners for sexual liaison or seeing the plural marriage pop culture boom and thinking it would be some kind of yolo adventure and that it might be cool for a while. That is what I see in the single women's profiles. In some of the couples profiles however it is far more of the predatory to desperate spectrum and I do not even slightly wonder at the fact that many are mystified by the lack of any response. In other couples profiles you will see the it is all about the ego stroke for the man equation being played out.

At the end of the day, personally I don't particularly care about being perceived as judgemental when so many are approaching plural marriage for all the wrong reasons. All that it will end up with is games being played, hearts being broken and families pulled apart. 

Plural marriage is first and foremost a marriage. It is about love, permanence, giving each other support and the bonds of family. Plural marriage is not about jumping on the latest fad, it is not about your sexual fantasies or pumping up your ego. 


Yeah yeah... standing on my soap box and preaching to an empty room. I know. Lame and pointless. It is frustrating though to browse through the site and see a handful of those who clearly take the idea of polygyny seriously and who are seeking their family or their new wife that are clearly having to wade through a sea of those who might be more suited to plenty of fish or some other hookup app. 


This is supposed to be about love and family not being part of a fad.



Noblequest Feb 21 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 10 · Tags: family, familynotfad, notabouthookups
SoulShepherd
I met a single mom the other day. She is stressed, exhausted, miserable. She has an adorable 4 year old son. She's young, 25 or so. She is working herself to death just trying to keep shelter over their heads. They stress is prematurely aging her. I asked what she wanted, said she was still looking for her prince charming.


My heart broke for her. I imagined a family where she is valued, surrounded by love, her child enveloped in the love of another mom and a dad...adults he could anchor to. The stability and security of a poly family makes more sense than anything else Ive heard.


I am a dad, I've raised 6 children (3 boys, 3 girls). I am stable, have room, have a heart full of love. Travel, stability, love, security, why couldn't this work?

SoulShepherd Nov 7 '17 · Comments: 3 · Tags: security, stability, ffm, single moms, love, family
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