New to this from latonyal's blog

I just found this site today after trying others. Please don't anyone judgeme. Like I said I'm very new to this and still learning. On another site I did begin to talk to another couple. I started having feelings for the husband. Then I had a wake up call. It was not the marriage for me and I almost came close to packing up my bags and moving out of state to be with them. The reason I said it was not for me because that marriage was not about me being equal to the husband and first wife. Joining there family would have required me to change myself completely to fit what they desired and for me to be miserable because basically I had to fake it to be with them. It seemed like with the husband it was more about sex. I was considered selfish and unsubmissive if I didn't perform sexually the way he wanted. The wife....i was required to stay home, clean, cook and tend to their children while they worked. That's not what I had planned for myself, even in a monogamous relationship. I wss considered selfish and unsubmissive for not wanting to. Also I had to change my eating, my physical appearance, etc to suit him. I was not allowed to go anywhere outside the house without a family member. The excuse was that wanting to do things on my own was saying I didn't want to be with family. I felt like that was an excuse for just keeping me under watchful eyes. I mean every marriage is different. Some might be willing. I woke up and realise I felt like it was controlling, they was selfish, I was going to be a sex slave, maid and nanny. I was just a grown child. I had no say so, no compromising so I could be happy, nothing about that relationship included me in it. I might be wrong for feeling that way but I experienced other couples only about sex and wanting me to be bisexual. So can someone teach me the true marriage of Poly and set my mind at ease that this is the right thing for me. That all couples are not like that. 

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TheAllens
Apr 25
Poly is different for everyone. Each family decides what they are looking for and should honestly present that to the potential sister-wife. That person has the choice to decide if its what they want or not. For example, I am bisexual so we seek a girlfriend that is also bisexual so we can all be together as a couple mentally and physically. No matter what the relationship should be fair and equal. Whatever the roll of each person in the family, it should be agreed upon and a what each person wants. This is not slavery. You should never feel you are being made to have sex when and how you don't want! It angers me to hear that you were treated this way. Just know that there are MANY couples seeking a sister-wife. You do'n have to put up with being mistreated or abused. Take care and good luck with your search:)!! I'm here to talk if you have any questions.Poly is different for everyone. Each family decides what they are looking for and should honestly present that to the potential sister-wife. That person has the choice to decide if its what they want ...See more
Polyamorousny
Apr 26
Good for you that you walked away before it was too late, and realizing that the situation at hand wasn't for you. I have also found many families wanting a bi wife for the woman in the relationship. Yes, all families are different but I believe that the true polygamous families know that polygamy isn't just about having multiple sexual partners. Polygamy is about the large family unit. Once again these are only my opinions but I know of other polygamists that feel the same way.Good for you that you walked away before it was too late, and realizing that the situation at hand wasn't for you. I have also found many families wanting a bi wife for the woman in the relationship. ...See more
latonyal
Apr 26
Thank this site I have so far communicated with more families that wasn't about making me just a 3rd shell in their household.
Farmerinthedell2
Apr 26
Glad you walked away from an old unhealthy relationship.
nataliew2
Apr 27
Sounds like they were trying to make you a modern day slave and slavery had BEEN DEAD and NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED THIS WAY. What I don't understand is that why do families look for a woman to join their family and then get that woman and treat her like dirt, that is so sad. I glad that you made the conscience decision to walk away. I wish you the best of luck on your search.Sounds like they were trying to make you a modern day slave and slavery had BEEN DEAD and NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED THIS WAY. What I don't understand is that why do families look for a woman to join th...See more
latonyal
Apr 27
I agree too. Thank you
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By latonyal
Added Apr 25

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