The world can be a complicated place to try to navigate. I wonder sometimes if the world is wrong to most encourage the socail makeup of couples. I think the world would be better if families were poly generally. Consider the advise and friendship we all add to eachother.
When everyone works to build up and encourage the other. When we all celebrate eachothers succcessed but also help deal with the hardships and sadnesses that come. Together as a team, all things are possible. We offer support and care to one another.
I think a good team, a family that is us against the world is such a loverly dream and wish. I know it can be more than a dream. I have had this once. It was beauiful. Its not all about sex although many outsiders might think it is. I think it takes a good deal of emotional maturity to reach the point that your ready for poly.
All members of the family share, and grow with eachother as that discover and support oneanother.
Good morning, its late and i am about to go to bed.
I decided i would write a little about my hopes. I hope to meet a family that one to add another. That want a lifelong commitment. Not a passing fad, and nothing that will be instanst, but taking the time to know me as i learn about them. adding to one another, building a future together is my dream.
I know im older than most girls, im 47 now, but i hope im not too old. I would never be happy as just a single couple and i dont want that. I need a family. i am too old to have children, my about to hit menapause. I have no children. I have no debts, other than my student loan but thats not a big issue. My degree should allow me to move anywhere easily.
I have pets. I have a dog and two cats who i adore. I am a confident girl, I have travelled a lot. I think I have a lot to offer, if nothing else than my knowledge of backgammon.
I used to be in a poly, but sadly he died or i would still be there. Being poly was the happiest time of my life. It truely is an amazing way to be. I love having sister wives i can speak with and make friends with.
I hope one day perhaps with this web site i will connect with a new family. Tread once more upon this path.
The emotion of jealousy is normally triggered by feeling such as (is he going to give her more attention than me?) (Is she going to give him more attention than me?) These feelings also can be triggered by the lack of self worth.
When one feels jealousy, they need to openly discuss how they feel with their polygamous/polyamory family.
The family also must not overreact and should listen and talk about ways to make the other who is experiencing jealousy, feel more comfortable in the relationship. This is not easy, the as polygamist we have chosen a lifestyle which is not considered the norm in American society.
My current soulmate and I believe in this lifestyle, not so much for physical gratification, but because we believe by practicing polygamy, it shows and helps us grow, loving others unconditionally and not just one individual in our life.
Can feelings of jealousy creep up on individuals who are very balanced? the answer is yes.
But the results are the same, if jealousy is not recognized and expressed to the others involved in the family. It acts like a cancer bringing destruction in it's wake.
Growing up and being around polygamist families I saw both the good and the bad, the families that were well-adjusted and loved each other, confront issues like jealousy, finances, expectations of children and responsibilities openly. They understood that real love require having good communication skills with each other, and that these issues had to be confront it before they cause a problem in all relationships within the family.
The polygamist families that ended up splintering, leaving many individuals hurt during these break ups, contained individuals who did not know how to openly communicate their desires and feelings to each other. Polygamy requires communication it's just that simple, polygamy requires work, polygamy requires mutual respect regardless of gender of the individuals involved in the family.
Most of all polygamy requires compromise and unconditional love for all members of the family and understanding their personal viewpoint even though it may not be our own. I encourage all individuals who fill jealously to discuss their feelings with their family members. And for those individuals who are contemplating relationships, to fully understand that the relationships will ultimately fail, unless all involved possess good communication skills.
So the first step to even contemplating a polygamist marriage, or even polyamory relationship is to address our own individual communication skills first, Secondly it is highly suggested that family set aside time weekly, to discuss things openly that may be bothering individual and the family unit. When the children are approaching adult age, it is suggested that they are included in these discussions. This is to give them some guidance on how to use conflict resolution to work through problems that the family and family's experience.
With love and patience destructive emotions such a jealous can be confronted and even alleviated, I hope the small post has helped. We express our best wishes for all, Sincerely, Carrie and Charles
And while we are open to seeing if we connect with someone specifically on this site, in all honesty, we are not holding our breath on that. It is a challenge to figure out the scammers, fakes and non-serious individuals. What we do appreciate is connecting with like minded people who have shared their insights and experiences in the poly community. Just reading through posts of those who’ve been willing to put it out there and give others a heads up, it has prevented us from negative outcomes. We have met great people, made some friends, and look forward to more friendships ahead!
Do they think:
"This man followed every rule. School, College, Uni. He did what he was told by society. Good for him!"
or
"This man broke all the rules! I could never afford that. How can you achieve so much without cheating or manipulating others? How do I look compared to him?"
When you hear someone hate on you as a man, or shame you as a woman, for living an abundant life, what do you really think is going through their mind?
"He must be manipulating these poor women! They only want his money!"
Or
"I could never have that life... I don't understand how that works.
People are MUCH more self absorbed than you think.
They don't care about YOU, but rather how you make THEM feel...
When we can't "make sense" of something, can't wrap our minds around it... That is when we get frustrated and upset.
If people are not happy to see you thriving, it is because they are barely surviving. They are not living up to their egos. Because hate doesn't come from above.
I have found it VERY insightful to see who appreciates you, who's opinions you should value, and to know who sees you as a threat to their ego by just being honest in everything I do in life.
Don't associate with the hate.
Let the haters HATE while we CREATE!
If you have any stories about people not accepting your big family tell us how you overcame the situation.