On the subject of jealousy. from TheATeam's blog

We are new to this website, but we were somewhat surprised by the many conversations that concern jealousy

The emotion of jealousy is normally triggered by feeling such as (is he going to give her more attention than me?) (Is she going to give him more attention than me?) These feelings also can be triggered by the lack of self worth. 
When one feels jealousy, they need to openly discuss how they feel with their polygamous/polyamory family. 
The family also must not overreact and should listen and talk about ways to make the other who is experiencing jealousy, feel more comfortable in the relationship. This is not easy, the  as polygamist we have chosen a lifestyle which is not considered the norm in American society. 
My current soulmate and I  believe in this lifestyle, not so much for physical gratification, but because we believe by practicing polygamy, it shows and helps us grow, loving others unconditionally and not just one individual in our life.
Can feelings of jealousy creep up on individuals who are very balanced? the answer is yes. 
But the results are the same, if jealousy is not recognized and expressed to the others involved in the family. It acts like a cancer bringing destruction in it's wake.
Growing up and being around polygamist families I saw both the good and the bad, the families that were well-adjusted and loved each other, confront issues like jealousy, finances, expectations of children and responsibilities openly. They understood that real love require having good communication skills with each other, and that these issues had to be confront it before they cause a problem in all relationships within the family. 
The polygamist families that ended up splintering,  leaving many individuals hurt during these break ups, contained individuals who did not know how to openly communicate their desires and feelings to each other. Polygamy requires communication it's just that simple, polygamy requires work, polygamy requires mutual respect regardless of gender of the individuals involved in the family.
Most of all polygamy requires compromise and unconditional love for all members of the family and understanding their personal viewpoint even though it may not be our own. I encourage all individuals who fill jealously to discuss their feelings with their family members. And for those individuals who are contemplating relationships, to fully understand that the relationships will ultimately fail, unless all involved possess good communication skills. 
So the first step to even contemplating a polygamist marriage, or even polyamory relationship is to address our own individual communication skills first, Secondly it is highly suggested that family set aside time weekly, to discuss things openly that may be bothering individual and the family unit. When the children are approaching adult age, it is suggested that they are included in these discussions. This is to give them some guidance on how to use conflict resolution to work through problems that the family and family's experience. 
With love and patience destructive emotions such a jealous can be confronted and even alleviated, I hope the small post has helped. We express our best wishes for all, Sincerely, Carrie and Charles

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By TheATeam
Added Mar 9 '2023, 10:29 PM



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