So my fiance and I joined this site in search of a sister wife or more of a triad relationship. It seems like alot of people on here aren't serious about what they're looking for or message you once then you never hear from them again. We aren't here for a hook up or that "unicorn" We are very serious about our search for someone who will be long term. Part of our life forever. But where do we look? Should we just give up? We have been searching everywhere for quite some time and are getting a little frustrated.
Are there no girls out there that actually want to live the lifestyle we want? Are there no girls out there that are as serious as we are? We have so much love to share but can't find that "one" who wants what we do. It seems as though finding someone to share your life with is harder than we had planned. Everyone tells us to be patient but for how long? We have been looking for almost 2 years now with not really anyone that is serious.
Does anyone have any advice or some suggestions on what we should do?
I have long thought that flying in formation was a good metaphor for marriage.
Here are 8 specific points for you to consider:
1. How do they do it? The key is that there is one leader and the rest are followers. If there is no leader you are not flying in formation.
2. Due to advance communication everyone knows where they are going, but the leader leads and the followers have to keep a close eye on the leader.
3. The followers job is to position themselves correctly in relation to the leader.
4. The leader has to call the maneuvers so that the followers can expect the movements and react to them accordingly. They communicate constantly as needed.
5. There has to be at least two to fly in formation, but structurally you can add on more.
6. Not easily done. It takes intention and practice.
7. It is also mandatory for safety in aerial combat. Singles are picked off like sitting ducks.
8. You need someone to check your six. No individual has complete vision or situational awareness. But good teams are unbeatable in aerial combat.
When done well it is a beautiful thing. Formation flying is commonly seen at air shows for the appreciation of all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuznBNZl6ME
That being said, one of the things that is jumping out to me a fair amount is just how many profiles demonstrate that several people are here looking for a good time, for new partners for sexual liaison or seeing the plural marriage pop culture boom and thinking it would be some kind of yolo adventure and that it might be cool for a while. That is what I see in the single women's profiles. In some of the couples profiles however it is far more of the predatory to desperate spectrum and I do not even slightly wonder at the fact that many are mystified by the lack of any response. In other couples profiles you will see the it is all about the ego stroke for the man equation being played out.
At the end of the day, personally I don't particularly care about being perceived as judgemental when so many are approaching plural marriage for all the wrong reasons. All that it will end up with is games being played, hearts being broken and families pulled apart.
Plural marriage is first and foremost a marriage. It is about love, permanence, giving each other support and the bonds of family. Plural marriage is not about jumping on the latest fad, it is not about your sexual fantasies or pumping up your ego.
Yeah yeah... standing on my soap box and preaching to an empty room. I know. Lame and pointless. It is frustrating though to browse through the site and see a handful of those who clearly take the idea of polygyny seriously and who are seeking their family or their new wife that are clearly having to wade through a sea of those who might be more suited to plenty of fish or some other hookup app.
This is supposed to be about love and family not being part of a fad.
Thoughts?