VV76's blog

Not many want to metamorphosize! Even fewer realize that this path demands it!

I don’t care how ready you think you are, when someone finally comes along that actually has the potential to fit in your family it creates labor pains in every one of the parties involved.

Wives that are previously reserved but accepting of poly have to re-examine their trust in their husbands judgement and commitment to them and the family. That’s not a poly thing, that’s a people thing. For example, a wife that’s totally ok with one particular lady joining the home, may be reserved initially about a different lady or completely resistant to another.
And don’t get me started on the wives that fit the bobblehead category. When their crucible hits, Katy bar the door!

Husbands that are totally convinced that they’ve got it figured out find out that understanding theory and a commitment to being the greatest husband is just the nose under the tent flap.

Prospects that think they know exactly what they want realize (maybe) that they really have no clear idea of how to make it happen even when they’ve found the “perfect” family! It reminds me of the neighbors dog chasing cars, he wouldn’t know how to drive it if he caught it!

The point is that the metamorphosis for everyone is a litmus test of IF you can succeed at poly for life.

And butterflies aren’t made overnight. . . .

When I started studying poly 3 or so years ago, I had no idea that it would be as involved as it was or make so many changes in my life and christian walk.

One of the massive changes in my family’s life was that we were unwelcome in a church that we loved, and were actively participants in, and I had a large role teaching adults in.

We were summarily given the left foot of fellowship, simply because I had been studying this “taboo” topic, and had concluded in favor of it.  Not because we were looking for another wife or anything like that.  Simply studying it and accepting it as a theoretically, Biblically acceptable family structure was enough for people I’d considered friends for over a decade to do a Jekyl/Hyde transformation.  Only one person actually tried to look at the Bible with me over it and that was not the Pastor or Deacons.

My point with all of this, is that most of the time, for single Christian women who are hoping to marry into a family with a God fearing christian man, the possibility of continuing to be an active member of a church while being a plural wife is a very slim to none possibility.  At least if you are public about it in the very least.  

There are definitely alternative solutions to this issue, many home assemblies are ok with it, and many christian men who are poly for biblical reasons are a cut above most Corporate Christianity nodders, and should be more than capable of leading you into a closer walk with the Saviour.

Don’t let this discourage you from your search, just understand that there are more life changes to this than sharing a great man!