What is polygamy(to us)? from AngieAndJohn's blog

What is polygamy? According to the Google definition it means...

nounnoun: polygamy

the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.

So, what's so difficult about that? Well, personally, I don't think that's the full answer. I think being IN LOVE with more than one person is what polygamy is to me. I don't think being 'hot' for someone or having that all too familiar warm feeling in your pants is enough. Being truly in love with your partner(s) is FAR more important that a bit of paper from the government or your in the moment feeling for someone. Let's be honest here, just because you want to sleep with someone does not make it love, or mean that they would make a good partner.

I've noticed a trend on other sites, Bi-Cupid, MoreThanOne, Reddit etc...they all talk about Ethical Non-Monogamy like it's polygamy. They talk about having multiple partners and your metamor as if this is something more than what it is. I STRONGLY disagree. That's sleeping around on your partner or having an open relationship. I don't think that's what polygamy is. Misnomers aside I feel it's important to point this out. If you're looking at our profile, you should know who we are and what we're about. So here goes.

Angie and I have been together for 17 years now, we dated for 2 and then got married. We raised her 2 children and my 2 children. I've known from the beginning that my wife was bi-sexual, but I also know that she picked me, out of a world full of potentials. Since then we have been through a lot of crap together and it's made us strong. Our most recent battle was breast cancer. The day they told us they found a lump in her breast, my world stopped. I saw a future that didn't have my wife in it and I simply could not see that. I didn't want to. The sun rises and sets with her, at least it does for me. Thank all that is holy, we made it though that. They removed the lump and put her through chemo and radiation and then gave her a clean bill of health. So why are we here?

During all of this we would joke around about our lack of sex because of chemo meds. It started as a joke, but became a more serious conversation. As I said, I've known she was Bi from the beginning. Her desires are important to me and I have no issues trying to give her everything she wants. If I'm honest, I want that too. More importantly, we both feel like SOMEONE is missing from our relationship. That was the general consensus. It wasn't about, I want to sleep with someone else or she want's to sleep with someone else, it was the feeling that we have something missing in our lives and that something is a SOMEONE. I'm not saying we are unfulfilled or unhappy, quite the opposite. We are very happy with our lives and if it's only us for the rest or our days, this will go down as the "best life ever". I guess you could say we feel like we have enough love for us and someone else. LOL.

So, to make all of this a bit more clear. We have no issues with open relationships, we have no issue with people calling that poly. We just don't. It's not for us though. We know that. We don't want to sleep around, we want to have another partner. Partner...that's a big word. Again, according to the google dictionary..."either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity.". We'll just ignore the pair part and say a group of people engaged together in the same activity. That feels more like what we are looking for. A real partner that will live our lives with us. Someone to join us "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". I know that's corny, so sue me.

For those out there reading our profile and thinking of messaging us, we are NOT unicorn hunters. We are NOT harem builders. We are NOT any of those things that make poly folks cringe(or at least I hope we're not). We are just a normal, genuine couple looking to add more love to our lives. If you read our profile, you know we're not looking for "hook-ups" or one night stands. We want to know you as a person, we want to love you before we make love to you. We want to have a relationship, then we want to add the physical relationship, when it make sense.

Oh and if you're a catfish...please don't. We won't send you money and playing with us will not get you what you want.

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.
~John


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By AngieAndJohn
Added Jul 24

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