Perfect Plural Palace??? | Forum

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JingoFamily
JingoFamily Aug 10 '19
Too many people griping about no success. Let’s talk about plans for the future when you Do reach your goal. Let’s share our visions of the ideal home for our plural families.

Now there is a totally separate topic that is related that we can start in parallel if someone is interested and that is one big house vs multiple homes (ideally next door to each other). For this topic let’s go one house theory and talk about how we would want them set up.

The consensus with my wives and I is that we would want a separate wing or essentially a self contained apartment for each wife with a large bedroom, large closet and bathroom as well as a small nursery for the kids that still need to be really close to their mom. Then a nice lounge area and kitchenette. These apartments/wings should open off of where the main children’s bedrooms are found so that parents are close by in the event of problems or mayhem. I am thinking that there should be four large bedrooms for the kids. One each for older boys/girls and one each for younger boys/ girls. Two large semi communal bathrooms with one for each sex. Not full on locker room style or anything but at least a couple of toilet enclosures (and a urinal in the boys side), a couple of showers, two double sinks and one tub sort of thing.

In common areas a huge family room, huge dining room, very large kitchen with a monster sized island that will accommodate several people doing prep as well as lots of space to eat at. Probably a couple of refrigerators and... well you see where this is going. Enough and large enough appliances for an army. Next is a butlers pantry with loads of storage for small appliances and ideally a drinks station. Water and ice dispenser and a large beverage container or two for lemonade or tea perhaps. For my own sins the coffee would likely be prepared there as well... bit of a coffee snob here.
Let’s see... I grew up in a home with a large utility room and this shaped my thinking in this regard. The utility room needs to do double duty as a mud room and be just off the garage so that when people come in they can shuck shoes and coats etc and then potentially jump into a tub shower combo which is there to bath dirty dogs, muddy children or a greasy husband. Also good for hanging drip dry items. Anyway, two sets of washers and dryers as well as a supplemental oven or two... you know for holidays or what not when you have multiple birds or hams etc on the go all at once, oh and don’t forget the deep freeze and supplemental pantry (did I forget the walk in pantry before? Tisk tisk). Next door should be a nice sized craft room/art studio/sewing room for whoever is of a creative bent.
I would like a set of offices in line in some hall. To my mind, the ideal way to go is for everyone to work out of the home but to have their own space for their job. Next there should be a study/lounge for kids to hang out in and also act as a class room... I would like to home school. Then a formal living area large enough for some particularly large antique rugs that we have and furniture that are family pieces which would be locked off from pets and crumb crunchers. Perhaps with a piano.
There is one thing that the more astute will have noticed by way of its absence and that is a bedroom for me. I have some fairly strong opinions in this direction that are very different from many I have seen expressed by many other polygamist and hopeful potential plig husbands. I do not see a separate bedroom for the husband when he has a part interest in at least two other bedrooms. It seems too selfish for my tastes and in a plural marriage all parties have to be aware of the need to share on so many levels.
That being said, I would want my own husband focused study or lounge. A small circle of comfy chairs, several bookshelves and an exit to a patio where I might smoke an infrequent cigar.

There are loads more notions in my minds eye but this is less intended to give me a platform to drone on endlessly and more intended to get people talking.
Couples, keep in mind that the single women on here who are seeking need to see something more than a half filled out profile to develop an interest in a family. Give them some little insight to your personalities so that they have something upon which to build an interest.
Single ladies, the same goes for you. Just being sought after does not make you a prize, who you are as a person is what makes you desirable as a potential wife. Show us who you are by getting involved in the conversation.
stillstanding
stillstanding Nov 13 '20
When I saw the tents posted by #vegemite I remembered a drawing I made, all the way back in 2012, after watching an episode of Sister Wives.  Maybe someone here will find it useful, or at least enjoy thinking about it :-)
Attachments:
  sisterWives_4-familyDwelling.jpg (83Kb)
Polywifen
Polywifen Dec 16 '20

Quote from stillstanding When I saw the tents posted by #vegemite I remembered a drawing I made, all the way back in 2012, after watching an episode of Sister Wives.  Maybe someone here will find it useful, or at least enjoy thinking about it :-)


Quote from stillstanding When I saw the tents posted by #vegemite I remembered a drawing I made, all the way back in 2012, after watching an episode of Sister Wives.  Maybe someone here will find it useful, or at least enjoy thinking about it :-)
I'm in love!  For real attached private wings with a central communal area is my favourite poly arranged accommodation.  I think it serves both those introverts who like their private space and extroverts who want to be in the thick of things.  It means there is a central area which no one claims is theirs alone, so there is non of this 'feeling like you are a guest in someone else's home'  when you want to eat or talk together.  My desire would be for regular meetings to discuss family things or just touch base, regular movie/games nights and regular dinners.  This is best facilitated in a communal area and less stressful too.  Thanks for that drawing.
theoneo
theoneo Jul 27 '21
That reminds me of the Epicurean house which was designed as multiple rooms directly leading off a communal area.  He designed it so that all his friends could come and live with him and share as and when they wished.  Each one had their own room for their own personal needs and identity while having all the room doors face inward allowed them to see who was coming and going and to share food and other resources.  It inspired many of the commune designs that exist today. :-)
JingoFamily
JingoFamily Oct 25 '21
After having not been off the site for a while and the world changing a lot, my vision of what the perfect circumstances would be for a plural family.

Yeah the big house with room for each wife to have a suite of some kind would still be great but now I tend to think that making sure whatever house you have, be it grand or humbe, is on enough land to support your family.


I find myself thinking more about fencing,  cross fencing,  rabbit hutches, chicken tractors (if you don't know what it is, look it up as they are a cool concept), mob grazing, carrying capacity per acre and water access more than a fancy house. A man's first concern should be to make sure that his wives and children can be fed and have a roof over their heads. The world is going squirrelly and it shifts ones priorities quite a bit.



VHIWV
VHIWV Nov 24 '21

Quote from JingoFamily After having not been off the site for a while and the world changing a lot, my vision of what the perfect circumstances would be for a plural family.

Yeah the big house with room for each wife to have a suite of some kind would still be great but now I tend to think that making sure whatever house you have, be it grand or humbe, is on enough land to support your family.


I find myself thinking more about fencing,  cross fencing,  rabbit hutches, chicken tractors (if you don't know what it is, look it up as they are a cool concept), mob grazing, carrying capacity per acre and water access more than a fancy house. A man's first concern should be to make sure that his wives and children can be fed and have a roof over their heads. The world is going squirrelly and it shifts ones priorities quite a bit.



The world going squirrelly matches my thoughts exactly. I want a large timber frame house (think large log cabin but nicer). Each adult gets their own bedroom/bathroom with a large common area in the center of the home for kitchen dinning and living space. The second floor is all bedroom/bathrooms around the outside with inside a walkway with bannister and open to the center of the home.

I also want guinea hens (they eat ticks), turkeys (bigger eggs), goats, pigs, and some sheep. Of course we will need a couple of livestock protection dogs (Great Pyrenees) and a couple of herding dogs. A large garden to feed a large family. I am looking at about 100 acres timber lots in KY and WV right now. Will be buying soon. I could sure use the help of a 2 or 3 women who this type of life would appeal to.

cwc419
cwc419 Jan 4
When I dream of the house I would like to live in, I sometimes search the real estate listings for homes that have double master suites, or mother-in-law units. More of an open living area with bedrooms on each end of the house creating a division within but still has a common area for the family to gather. I also don't necessarily consider it outside of the city limits, but more about the safety it may hold within the city limits.  And I mainly do that because in my mind, I consider the family I want to be a 'lamp on a hill', a family that is distinctively different from the average family the world sees. The world has created dysfunctional families, or better said, dysfunctional people units. I think that families are the key to any society functioning coherently. And to me that is done where others can see.
JingoFamily
JingoFamily Jan 4
Good contribution @cwc419 (I am trying to encourage people to talk more and get conversations going as most profiles may as well be blank and worthless. If we as families or single women are to attract the right matches then we need to create content and put something of value for the people on the other side of the screen to see.).

When I chose my existing house it was because there were two wives in the family and we had a need for two master bedrooms and two living rooms. 

I can see your point about being seen by others...or at least I believe I interpret your point correctly in that you wish to demonstrate that plural families are normal. That there are no weird issues to be had here...look at us, it is normal save for the number sor of thing.

Having lived it, I can tell you that almost nobody notices. A surprising amount of not noticing or caring goes on I am happy to report. Even my ex wife's obgyn doc when she of necessity was told just smiled and said that it was nice to meet others doing the same...ie she was in a plural marriage. Pleasant surprise. 


cwc419
cwc419 Jan 5
Your interpretation is correct, in that demonstrating normality, whatever that is, would be the goal. See, our family is just like every other family, just more love to go around. 


But, I am guessing you are right on a day to day bases things just blend in, once things get off the ground. From my experience though, there is a steep learning curve to try and fit in once things start. There is a lot of adjusting that has to happen. And some people out side of a starting family face many pitfalls, internally and externally. I think once others can see that its pretty normal, then some of those pitfalls may be eliminated, and then families can go through the normal relationship building any other relationship has to go through.


I wonder how many other families would come out of the woodwork if it was know that plural families are ok.

JingoFamily
JingoFamily Jan 5
I wonder about how many are just keeping their heads down and not participating in online conversations whether they are religiously motivated or secular in their polygamy. That doctor for example...that was a pleasant surprise and it gave us some hope that there are more of us out there just doing our thing and living our lives without getting noticed. 
polymanforyou
I'm n small town surrounded by churches so we have had to keep low profile lived life style looking to start again all my kids are married and have moved on
cwc419
cwc419 Jan 6
Actually, the worst critics of polygeny are the churches, no wonder you had to keep a low profile. It's odd because the whole of Christianity is built on the concept of this type of relationship and never once condemned in the bible. The greatest push back my family receives is from 'Christian' religious people. Talking to a religious Christian single woman about the idea of polygeny doesn't ever go very well. 


Oh, and I have a strong faith in the true Christian belief that is based on a relationship with God instead of the manmade Christian religion that tries to judge other peoples lives. These are two different things. But these things are probably to involved for discussions here.  


Anyway, I understand why you had to keep low.

The Forum post is edited by cwc419 Jan 6
JingoFamily
JingoFamily Feb 24
I just came across this house on zillow. Why can't houses like this and in this price range pop up in my neighborhood 

https:///...;utm_source=txtshare


Huge and private space for everyone 

JingoFamily
JingoFamily Feb 27
That is similar to our goal.

Aiming at some acreage for as close as we can manage to self sufficient homesteading sort of a thing but with enough extra room to have extra homes as well as infrastructure buildings for the running of the farm/ranch functions. 

The extra houses for elder relatives potentially as well as as kids get old enough to want some additional space, they could still be close by if they like. Ideally enough acreage to allow kids to build their own larger homes later and space for building their own family. 


Getting to be a tougher proposition. The prices in Texas have spiked and don't seem like they will be coming down again. Searching every day for that place with potential though.

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