How to Talk to Your Partner about Polyamory?

Apr 16, 12:31 PM | By Chris

How to talk to your partner about polyamory? First, make sure that you really want it. Then, choose a proper time and setting. Be ready for resistance – prepare yourself for the conversation and get ready to educate your partner using reliable resources. Finally, give your partner some time – it’s a big thing to process. Do you want to learn more? Then read on!

How to Talk to Your Partner about Polyamory: Preparation

Before you start the conversation, you need to get prepared. At first, you should look into yourself: are you 100% certain that polyamory is what you want? If you have any doubts, then think it through one more time.

When you’re sure that polyamory is what you want, start preparing for the conversation. How to prepare to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about polyamory? Find reliable resources! For instance, get ready to show your partner our article on what polyamory is, as there are many misconceptions circulating around it. Have a list of resources for different polyamory-related topics, as they will be exceptionally helpful in dispelling your partner’s doubts.

After you are ready, it is time to choose the time and place. Make sure that the location is private, as it is going to be an intimate conversation. Also, you want to talk about turning to a polyamorous relationship when you really have time – depending on the number of questions, this conversation might take up to a few hours, and you want to have all the time and comfort you need.

How to Talk About Polyamory with Your Partner?

So, how to talk to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse about polyamory when the time comes? Here are our tips:

  •  Use “I” statements – When expressing why you want to go polyamorous, make sure to focus on your feelings. To do so, use “I” statements – they are often much more diplomatic.

  •  Express how valuable your partner is to you – One of the main issues with switching to a polyamorous relationship is that your partner might feel that they are not enough for you. Hence, be sure to show how much you value them.

  •  Show that you will still invest in your relationship – No matter whether you want to switch to a poly marriage, or you’re just on the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, explain that you still want to invest in your relationship and how you want to do it.

  •  Give your partner space – If they aren’t keen on the idea, don’t try to be too persuasive. Explain your perspective, provide your partner with sources but give them time to process.

  •  Answer all your partner’s questions – There are a lot of misconceptions about poly relationships, so your partner will likely have many questions. Be sure to answer them, even if you might have something negative to say. Honesty is the key if you want to convince your partner.

What to Do After the Conversation?

You’ve talked to your partner; you’ve given them time. What should you do next? Firstly, wait for them to start the next conversation – some people might process this quickly, others might need days, weeks, or even months, so be open and give your partner space.

If your partner agrees to go poly, be sure to set up boundaries and ground rules. For instance, discuss what type of polyamorous relationship both of you feel comfortable in. Consider your finances, how you will bring up your children, and how much time you want to spend together.

After that, you can start looking for secondary partners to your polyamorous relationship! And for that, we recommend our Sister Wives app!

The Takeaway

You now know how to talk to your partner about a polyamorous relationship. Follow our tips and remember – be respectful. Such a conversation will always be emotional, so it is crucial to show how you feel and be empathic – understand your partner’s feelings as well.

You might also read about the benefits of polyamory.


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