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I have been on a polygamous journey for over a decade now. I started investigating non monogamy and polyamory first, but decided the frequent partner changes and lack of permanence bothered me,  I wanted stability, I wanted a life with someone, not just a hobby relationship.  Back then, it was my understanding that polygamy was for only certain religions (Mormons and Muslims) and not for the rest of us so I thought it would not be for me.  But then came the internet message groups.  I started off on a yuku group not long after Big Love started airing (yes, I have been on the polynet WAAAAAYYYY too long) and finally found a home, a place where people were interested in Polygamy (mostly Polygyny) who were all different faiths (and none) and we were all new and ignorant, it was delightful.


I met my poly family on there when I was still new and ignorant. 

At this point I would usually make a joke about it 'not ending well' but tbh I think it ended fairly well, I went through a lot of negatives, but I also learnt a lot, grew and I have an even more enriched life now than I might have had, had I not gone through it so for that, I would say.  It went well enough.


Back to the polyweb then, not ready to seek but more in an advisory role while I healed and recovered.  I put most of my energy into my family and having a happy life.  


So now, many years later, I consider myself a bit of a single woman poly advocate, I am the loudmouth who challenges the anti polygamist narrative that claims that women are brainwashed into polygamy and they don't 'love themselves'.  I also advise couples against couple privileged behaviour which can be othering towards us single Potentials and leads to the destruction of healthy polygamous relationships (been there.....) If I say or have said anything to you, please don't take it badly, I see things from a singleton's point of view and it is important to know our mindset and how things might look to us, I am trying to help, not upset anyone.


I am very close to my extended family although we live in separate countries, I hope you would want to meet them though,  I have lived in many places in my Nation  (UK) and also spent a significant amount of time in the United States and my family live in Central Florida, if you are a great lover of the Disney/theme park experience, you will definitely be getting those holidays with me.  That being said, I do prefer staying on this side of the Atlantic for myriad reasons, but will move if the person/people and conditions are right.  I am especially fond of Canada, PNW and NZ sooooo I must have a thing for rain. ;o))


What I am seeking ideally is a classic polygynous relationship with a husband and wife/ves. Or a single poly minded man who I could be a first wife to and we can then build up our polygamous family from scratch.  I have zero interest in bedsharing or threesomes so no triads at all please.  I am not materialistic, I don't care if you are a bin man or a business man, I am not after riches, I am after a man who is strong, passionate, kind and likes to laugh.  Loves and emotionally invests in his family, child friendly and treats women and children with respect, not as slaves of his household. 


I am 5'10 and full figured/curvy, so you have to be into that I daresay. I am not necessarily looking for a man taller, but it is a benefit because I like to look up to a man, but with all else being equal, I don't really care that much. I tend to go for quite pale men, the ones who go red in the sun, with blue eyes and a warm smile. If during the summer you get lobster comparisons, we might be a match! Mentally fit and more positive than negative as I am a bit sensitive to emotions and find depressives draining. Honesty is of extreme importance to me, so if you are in the habit of lying to avoid confrontation, please pass me by.  I don't mind facial hair, a receding pate or beer gut, I am not looking for Adonis, I am looking for a good man and with confidence comes sex appeal. 


For my part, I love to treat my man like a King, to indulge and please him, tempered by a bit of lighthearted teasing j to keep him honest! ;o)  I like to go out and experience cultural things or family things. Not really much of a club type/nightlife. I prefer to spend time together in the evenings, talking together, eating and drinking in the mediterranean style manner into the late evening.   My hobbies include historical reenactments, costuming, watching films and geeky culture.  I love historical cooking too, though only plant based so no, the wild boar will not be on the menu!!  

I think spending time in each dyad is important though, but I am flexible with how those dates go, doesn't have to be night time, doesn't have to be something romantic.  It's just about building on our emotional intimacy and touching base.  Going out to eat, see a film or walking around a museum is fun for me, things need not be too structured or expensive, I just would like to spend time with you.


With regards to sister wives I do consider myself a woman's woman.  In that I value female friendships and crave that emotional connection in my life and family.  I am somewhat extroverted but  not emotionally overbearing, I have cultivated a very useful model to process jealousy and I would hope you have done some work with that yourself so as not to make it a big issue.  I am also into clear, honest communication.  There will be no expectation of telepathy with me, no giving the cold shoulder or dropping passive aggressive hints.  I will always be honest with you and expect the same in return.  I like spending time doing girlie things, I will paint your nails or dye your hair if you asked, I will gladly mix cocktails and watch that terrible romcom he didn't want to watch with you OR if you just want to sit and read your book alone, I will respect that,  it is about respecting the woman YOU are, not trying to force you into being the woman I want!


What I love seeing in profiles 

'Honesty is important' 'Love children' 'not looking for a specific type, just the right person' 'loyal' 'equality'.


What I dislike seeing in profiles


'Seeking a female'  'want a third' 'why is it so hard to find a woman?'  'looking to add to are (our) relationship'  'no kids/divorcees/single mothers' 'must be willing to have children for us' 'you must send me a full length picture and an essay on why i should pick you to be considered to be a part of my harem' and finally 'I am in charge of this profile, you must please me before I will let you talk to my husband because I can't trust him to make good decisions'...... 


Plus those who are racist, sexist or any ist who thinks just because I value a traditional type of relationship myself, that I insist that all women should be forced to live a way that doesn't suit them.  Any indication that your woman is not into polygamy and you are forcing her into it by threats of infidelity and a history of such with her making her fear a recurrence of such behaviour. Any desire for hierarchy amongst the wives, I have no interest in junior/secondary wife status or being treated as a concubine. I will forever be grateful to a first wife who was so kind as to want to share an amazing man with me, she would be a true Queen, but our status in the home will be equal, even if she will get the outside legal validation. 


So anyway, I hope this helps you understand me a bit, I am rather a big mouth poly woman on social media but don't let that scare you, I am just a woman who is open, passionate and a bit sarcastic, but most of it is tongue in cheek.  If anything connects with you, please do say hello.


Kind regards,

Natasha

2020

In quarantine black mirror episode

London, UK

xx




Polywifen Apr 19 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 1 · Tags: polygamy, polygyny, groups, single, potentials
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