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Jojo

"Man, you should be some sort of pimp!"


"I don't know how you do it. I can scarcely take great care of one!"

Those are the two sorts of reactions (other than the clear gaze) that are run of the mill when a man is 'turning out' to somebody about having a plural family. The littler gathering essentially accept that it's about the sex. The bigger gathering comprehends the duty that a Christian man has for the individuals from his family.

For the most part, in their reactions to the subject of polygamy, both men and ladies uncover something of what they consider the way of marriage and its expenses and advantages. Also, the truth of the matter is, you can't appreciate the diversion unless you concede to the tenets, and there's no reason for belligerence the relative benefits of polygamy with somebody that has a totally extraordinary esteem framework and comprehension of what marriage is than you do.

So in case you're engaging this nutty thought, be prompted that you would be advised to have your own particular esteems cleared up. A few people will acknowledge what you're doing on the grounds that they simply couldn't care less in particular, some have an "incline toward toleration" logic, and some will love you enough to at present love you notwithstanding when they think you've truly lost your brain. Yet, then again, some will believe you're odd funkily, some will believe you're irregular scarily, some will believe you're risky, and some will detest you.

All in all, our families and families we know have been tossed out of houses of worship, disregarded in their nearby groups, lost kids in care fights, had first spouses leave after it gets hard, been undermined with criminal arraignment (no feelings yet, express gratitude toward God), had developed youngsters cut us off, and in one case even had a demise risk. Not everyone, not in any case the vast majority, will despise you and attempt to hurt you. Simply enough individuals to keep it truly intriguing.

That is the awful news. The uplifting news is that this will improve you a man, a superior spouse, and a superior father. A superior sibling to other men in the collection of Christ. A more mindful adherent of the lessons of Jesus and a superior audience to the still, little voice of the Holy Spirit. In the event that you need this way of life to work—implanted in 21st century Western culture, with its open antagonistic vibe to and mistreatment of conventional parts and connections—you have no other decision.

Jojo Jun 5 '17 · Rate: 4.75 · Comments: 2 · Tags: biblical polygamy
Jojo

What are you considering?! Is it true that you are insane?!?

Alright, simply joking. As insane as this truly sounds to the world, or to anyone that is first dealing with this question, those of us who have been through the move and lived to tell have taken in a couple of things, and in all actuality on the off chance that you can ace your weaknesses and venture up to this way of life, you will be luxuriously remunerated. You will be all the more liberated to act naturally and to seek after your interests. You will share the highs and lows of your existence with more individuals that genuinely cherish you and need the best for you and are on your side. Furthermore, you will be free from the annoying trepidation that your better half will abandon you some time or another for another person.

There's a considerable measure to consider, a great deal of issues. Numerous advantages and disadvantages to be weighed. Take as much time as is needed.

On the off chance that you are as of now wedded, and you and your significant other have begun discussing this, DON'T accept that your better half is quite recently searching for more sex, or is exhausted with you, or in any capacity considers less you a man and as a spouse. We can't represent precisely what's experiencing your better half's brain, however consider the accompanying cases:

A lady who has had a child, and that infant is currently two or three years of age, may wind up needing another infant. It doesn't mean she doesn't love her first tyke. She simply needs a greater amount of what she has, and to the degree she is a decent mother and is generally benevolent, she simply needs to dispatch all the more balanced youngsters into the world.

A business person who has enlisted a worker, whose business is as yet developing, may choose to enlist another representative. It doesn't mean there is anything amiss with the execution of the main worker. It just implies that the business is developing and needs more hands to deal with the work process.

An undergrad who has a companion she invests a great deal of energy with may meet another companion—somebody fascinating and invigorating that she needs to become more acquainted with better and thinks might be a decent long haul companion. The 'old companion' could get desirous and possessive and attempt to undermine the new relationship, or she could value the new companion, maybe build up her own relationship, and to the degree them three all appreciated each other's conversation and delighted in doing things together, they'd all be wealthier for it.

Clearly none of these cases hits precisely being a spouse. In any case, each in its own specific manner hits a piece of being a spouse. Regardless of whether it's the arrangement and insurance that a spouse offers a wife and a mother offers a youngster, or the feeling of cooperation and fellowship that describes solid business connections, or the basic fraternity of a decent companion, none of these connections is essentially debilitated by the expansion of more connections. When they're set well, "the more, the merrier".

In the event that you are thinking about turning into a man's second or third spouse, your circumstance is comparable in some ways, and diverse in others. You're measuring whether to surrender trusts and dreams in some relationship that hasn't happened yet; the primary spouse is managing feeling deceived, similar to some person changed the arrangement on her without inquiring. You're feeling sort of exceptional that your man would need to add you to his family; she's fondling somewhat utilized and dismissed that he would need to add you to the family, which is her family, as well, coincidentally. In any case a similar question presents itself: Where does your self-esteem originated from? What makes you like yourself and gives you seek after what's to come?

That is a ton to consider. Gone up against with the likelihood that what God needs for your life is drastically not quite the same as what you have been directed to expect, it's reasonable this would be a troublesome and some of the time enthusiastic process. Be that as it may, don't stop. Try not to surrender. What you're experiencing now will pass. Concentrate on what's valid about the affection for God and the will of God, "and reality might make you free".

Jojo Jun 5 '17 · Rate: 4.80 · Comments: 2 · Tags: biblical polygamy
Gomenasai418
Good Morning to some of you, and by the time you read this... Good afternoon and or good evening! I logged on here this morning to check things, and see what is new! I haven't been on the new site too much so I am still learning to navigate, but over all I am super impressed and happy with the changes as I am sure most of you are too! So thank you Admin for working your tails off for us to all have a better site for potentially finding all of our "forevers" It dawned on me though (hence the reason I am writing and the "post subject") that sometimes we become complacent in our search, in our dreams and goals. We tend to zone out and zombify in some senses as we wait. I urge you to stay vigilant and keep those dreams and goals in front of your face! Never stop fighting, and praying hard for what you want. Live this life if it will truly make you happy, but I ask you to sit there and question yourself honestly to make sure it is what you want. Too many peoples lives, and emotions are at stake in the end if you find out after having gone very far in this and realize you are not ready or do not want this. Do what makes you happy, live this life to its fullest and never look back with regret. Pray daily and really dive into God and see what He has for you! these are just some thoughts I have had the past week or so and I am super glad I found an outlet for them to be. I hope that it helps and encourages even one person.
Gomenasai418 Nov 8 '16 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 2
michaelk

Nice to meet everyone,


I have looked at this site for a while and it is nicely done.  Until now, I haven't felt to join.  However, over the last couple of months I've felt that I should take a serious look. I feel like there is someone we ares supposed to meet here. So, we took the plunge!


What is most important in our lives is being Spirit led.  That is we want to hear what God speaks to us personally, and do His will when he wants to do it.  I mention this because it is an organizing principle of our entire family. 


We have a lot of experience with this type of life choice and know pretty much what works and doesn't work for us.  I believe that you first get to know a person, then meet them (fairly soon), and only after both people feel it is right, explore whether or not it is a good match. 


Additionally, we call ourselves Divine Mates and not polygamists.  We feel that marriage, as is commonly practiced, is not really what God intends.  Therefore, to us anyway, polygamy is just a bigger, badder for of marriage.  Therefore, what is most important in our estimation is a spiritual connection authored by God where everyone feels drawn together by His Spirit. 


Other than our life style, we are very ordinary and middle class American family.  We believe that people who are meant to be with us are a blessing and we will be a blessing to them.  To us, love only multiplies, it does not divide. 


I don't know if you can contact us or if we must contact you first.  We plan to say hi to few people that seem like they have something in common with us.  let's see where it goes from there. 


Big hugs and lots of love,


Michael and family

michaelk Dec 6 '20 · Comments: 1
VV76

Isaiah 11:13. The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off: Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim

 

This seems to be the primary source of contention within the poly household.  It is also one of the biggest fears that can exist within the household.  The first wife’s fear of being marginalized by the husband as his infatuation for a new wife overcomes his sense of decency and order.  This coupled with the new wife’s inexperience in how to be a good wife to her husband and sister to her sister wife,  tends to lend itself to a perspective and attitude that is destructive to the wellbeing of all parties and the household in general.  It’s a perspective of selfishness that manifests as vexing the first wife.  The first wife becomes jealous and envious of the second, and the second, misunderstanding and misconstruing her influence in the house, begins to build her own house by dividing his house.

 

This entire dynamic is completely and easily avoided, simply by the presence of a strong husband who clearly articulates his vision and boundaries to all the family, and secondarily by the women practicing and exampling the fruits of the spirit to each other.

VV76 Aug 18 '20 · Comments: 1
Mandii1815
Lonely and need a adventure ❤️
Mandii1815 Aug 11 '20 · Comments: 1
JupiterKamaya24
I get very discouraged the longer we've been actively seeking (6-7 years). In the beginning, we knew we had found the absolute dream. She was shipped to Kuwait for a year and came back in one piece. Sadly she was killed in a training exercise not a month later. We still have a hard time with that separately.

Since then we have dealt with dishonesty, lack of chemistry, differing views on raising children, ghosting, aspirations that needed to be chased, and outright psychopaths. We are exhausted but we know this is where our family is supposed to be. We want the stability for our children, the extra love. We want to share everything with someone. We aren't unethical "unicorn hunters". We're too old to be risking one night stands anymore, atleast on a regular basis. 

My dilemma is how do we find this wonderful person? How do we find someone who wants what we want? I am honest from the get-go and yet we still have a miscommunication along the way. I am hoping for a resolution soon, to make someone happy with us.

Thank you for listening to my rant. I appreciate it.

JupiterKamaya24 Jul 21 '20 · Comments: 1 · Tags: love, triad, throuple, multiple
Polywifen
One thing I have noticed is that a lot of people can't handle constructive criticism and react very defensively to it. All I can say to it is, if you can't handle a bit of online criticism, you DEFINITELY cannot handle polygamy.  This is not the life for the very sensitive. 
Polywifen Jul 13 '20 · Comments: 1
VV76
Not many want to metamorphosize! Even fewer realize that this path demands it!


I don’t care how ready you think you are, when someone finally comes along that actually has the potential to fit in your family it creates labor pains in every one of the parties involved.


Wives that are previously reserved but accepting of poly have to re-examine their trust in their husbands judgement and commitment to them and the family. That’s not a poly thing, that’s a people thing. For example, a wife that’s totally ok with one particular lady joining the home, may be reserved initially about a different lady or completely resistant to another.
And don’t get me started on the wives that fit the bobblehead category. When their crucible hits, Katy bar the door!



Husbands that are totally convinced that they’ve got it figured out find out that understanding theory and a commitment to being the greatest husband is just the nose under the tent flap.


Prospects that think they know exactly what they want realize (maybe) that they really have no clear idea of how to make it happen even when they’ve found the “perfect” family! It reminds me of the neighbors dog chasing cars, he wouldn’t know how to drive it if he caught it!


The point is that the metamorphosis for everyone is a litmus test of IF you can succeed at poly for life.



And butterflies aren’t made overnight. . . .

VV76 May 23 '20 · Comments: 1
VV76
When I started studying poly 3 or so years ago, I had no idea that it would be as involved as it was or make so many changes in my life and christian walk.


One of the massive changes in my family’s life was that we were unwelcome in a church that we loved, and were actively participants in, and I had a large role teaching adults in.


We were summarily given the left foot of fellowship, simply because I had been studying this “taboo” topic, and had concluded in favor of it.  Not because we were looking for another wife or anything like that.  Simply studying it and accepting it as a theoretically, Biblically acceptable family structure was enough for people I’d considered friends for over a decade to do a Jekyl/Hyde transformation.  Only one person actually tried to look at the Bible with me over it and that was not the Pastor or Deacons.


My point with all of this, is that most of the time, for single Christian women who are hoping to marry into a family with a God fearing christian man, the possibility of continuing to be an active member of a church while being a plural wife is a very slim to none possibility.  At least if you are public about it in the very least.  


There are definitely alternative solutions to this issue, many home assemblies are ok with it, and many christian men who are poly for biblical reasons are a cut above most Corporate Christianity nodders, and should be more than capable of leading you into a closer walk with the Saviour.


Don’t let this discourage you from your search, just understand that there are more life changes to this than sharing a great man!

VV76 Apr 28 '20 · Rate: 5 · Comments: 1
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