Familyfocused's blog

A friend here has been giving me some critiques from the single woman seeking point of view. 

Apparently I write too much when i send a multi paragraph introduction. I have no idea with the huge number of poly ie swinger hedonist types that are here vs woman seeking plural marriage, if it will make any difference. I guess I should limit myself to 3-4 lines and leave it be.

Will have to give that a try and see if it makes a difference. 

Would appreciate some feedback from the woman who read through the blogs about what sort of introduction gets their attention. Well, positive attention. 

There are fakes that the admins kick fairly quickly but then there are those that fly under the radar for a day or two.

You should start watching the signs so you don't get played or just plain disappointed. 

* Messaged you out of nowhere but never looked at your profile

* Has just created the ad today but has several new "friends" all within just a few minutes 

* Profile details don't remotely match photo. My favorite was the pale blond blue eyed native American from Nigeria 

-feel free to add other obvious signs

Stop being suckered.

If you stop being an easy mark to these leeches then maybe it will cease to be such a target. At very minimum,  you will not feel like a prize dumba** for getting played. 

I don't care which side of the political isle you are on (at least for the purposes of this blog post), we all know the economy is boned. If you don't know that it is going to get substantially worse and that we will be living through events like our great grandparents saw if not worse, then you need to pull your head out and look around. Seriously,  you should  e doing some prepping.

I see the fact that the economy, political divides, food insecurity and all the more chance of truly significant change being forced upon the world by globalist/elites/corporatists or weird mish mashes of communist, fascists and creepy as hell transhumanists all makes people scared for the future. The uncertainty in the world seems like a decent predictor for polygamy becoming a far more palettable choice for single women and couples moving forward. Safety in numbers, economic security and a larger base of support may start to seem pretty attractive. 

I don't know about the rest of y'all but it sure looks to me (in early August of 2022) that the number of women coming to the site seeking or investigating plural marriage seems to going up significantly. 

Yeah the number of established families looking for women may well be going up as well but I am not in as much of a position to notice. Maybe the site admin will see the post and comment about if I am right about the surge in single woman and if the same applies to families. 

Won't pretend that even though I don't want the economy and the world to go to hell, that I am not happy to see more woman considering plural marriage in general terms. It is after all likely the oldest form of marriage and was the most prominent form until semi recently as the history of humans goes (genetic record tells us that there have been far more moms than dads). 

Lol! Pale skinned blond showing tonnes of cleavage in a professional photo is apparently Native American from Nigeria and here looking for plural marriage. Yeeeeah

I am putting the odds at 50/50 as to whether the account will exist by the time I get out of my next appointment and can look again.

I am making fun of the lame nature of some of these efforts at scamming but there are so many people that get hooked by these people and get screwed over in one form or another.

So stop being so thirty and eager to get a hose job.  Be cautious and not so gullible. 

I tend to glance at the list of users who have viewed our profile fairly regularly and saw a profile announcing that the site was full of "fakes and aggressive men" and it inspired me to write a blog post on a topic I have had in mind for a while.

I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.

The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls,  it is part of the environment.  The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites. 

With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .

Now don't get me wrong... I am not white  knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family. 

The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.

I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.

Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.

Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind. 

So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out. 

To each their own and all...

That being said, one of the things that is jumping out to me a fair amount is just how many profiles demonstrate that several people are here looking for a good time, for new partners for sexual liaison or seeing the plural marriage pop culture boom and thinking it would be some kind of yolo adventure and that it might be cool for a while. That is what I see in the single women's profiles. In some of the couples profiles however it is far more of the predatory to desperate spectrum and I do not even slightly wonder at the fact that many are mystified by the lack of any response. In other couples profiles you will see the it is all about the ego stroke for the man equation being played out.

At the end of the day, personally I don't particularly care about being perceived as judgemental when so many are approaching plural marriage for all the wrong reasons. All that it will end up with is games being played, hearts being broken and families pulled apart. 

Plural marriage is first and foremost a marriage. It is about love, permanence, giving each other support and the bonds of family. Plural marriage is not about jumping on the latest fad, it is not about your sexual fantasies or pumping up your ego. 

Yeah yeah... standing on my soap box and preaching to an empty room. I know. Lame and pointless. It is frustrating though to browse through the site and see a handful of those who clearly take the idea of polygyny seriously and who are seeking their family or their new wife that are clearly having to wade through a sea of those who might be more suited to plenty of fish or some other hookup app. 

This is supposed to be about love and family not being part of a fad.

As people who hope to see wholesome polygamous marriages being normalized we have a vested nterest in sites like this one and others that are less focused on the matchmaking aspect. What we have seen rather a lot of is people who are considering polygyny for what we would consider the wrong reasons. A few but certainly not all of the reasons that I would consider wrong are the couple's who simply wish to find their live in sex toy which will apparently spice up their intimate activities and cure all relationship woes, the horny husband with the grudging wife couples where she is clearly just going along to get along so to speak (lots of these woman are in the position they are in because their religious faith is being used as a lever to force them into agreeing to something they do not want) and the scammer; we have all seen the douchebag guys who will pretend to be anything that will get them at least short term sexual access to any woman, the pure scammer looking for money, the catfish who will pretend to be anything just to keep themselves entertained regardless of the emotional toll they might extract and the busybody who has decided that they know better than you what is right and moral for your family even though you are strangers. All of these will make people cautious about interactions that ideally should be perfectly safe, straightforward and wholesome. Because of the bad actors we all end up being cautious to one degree or another... I personally will council women to be quite cautious in dealings here just like on any dating site nut by the same token I tend to be cautious myself and recommend the same to other plural families. While our vulnerabilities are not the same as single women, nobody wants to get scammed, catfished or worst of all enter into a relationship that is doomed to fail because the person they fell for was approaching this lifestyle as a lark that sounds like fun for a while. Is there a solution? I wish I knew one. In a perfect world I would think that in-person mixers would be great. I like the idea of a large picnic or something of that nature. Lots of fun ideas occur to me but coordinating what amounts to a plural family convention and matchmaking festival. You would probably find me behind the bar.