How to not get Catfished

Online dating has opened up incredible opportunities to meet new people, whether you’re looking for a traditional relationship, a polyamorous partnership, or exploring something in between. Millions of singles use apps and websites to connect with others every day. Unfortunately, along with the genuine connections, there’s also a darker side: catfishing.

Catfishing occurs when someone pretends to be someone they’re not, often by using stolen photos or fake information, to mislead others into an online relationship. Sometimes the motive is money, sometimes it’s boredom, and other times it’s simply the thrill of deception. Whatever the reason, the impact is very real. Victims of catfishing often experience wasted time, deep embarrassment, broken trust, and even financial loss.

The rise of dating apps has made this phenomenon more common than ever. Studies show that millions of people every year encounter suspicious profiles or outright scams. Financial losses from romance-related scams have now reached over a billion dollars annually. These scams are particularly devastating because they don’t just take people’s money, they prey on emotions and vulnerability. For communities that get sudden bursts of attention, such as those connected to reality TV shows or niche dating cultures, the influx of new members can also attract a wave of catfishers who see an opportunity to take advantage.

That makes it more important than ever to understand the warning signs and learn how to protect yourself.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

They refuse to video chat

One of the clearest signs that someone isn’t who they say they are is a refusal to appear on video. While it’s normal for people to be camera-shy at first, it becomes suspicious if they dodge requests for a video call repeatedly. Excuses like “my camera is broken” or frequent last-minute cancellations often mean they’re hiding something. A genuine person will usually be willing to have at least a quick video or phone chat after you’ve built some initial comfort.

Their social media doesn’t add up

In today’s world, most people have some form of social media presence. It doesn’t have to be public or detailed, but complete invisibility is unusual. If you search someone’s name and find nothing, or if their profiles look brand new, have very few friends, or seem oddly generic, that’s a red flag. Scammers often create “shell” accounts or fill them with random followers to look convincing.

They avoid meeting in person

A catfish thrives on distance. They might flirt endlessly and even talk about a future together, but they’ll come up with endless reasons not to meet face-to-face. Perhaps their car broke down, they had to suddenly travel for work, or there was a family emergency. While life does get in the way sometimes, if weeks or months pass without an attempt to meet, it’s time to question their intentions.

Everything seems too perfect

Be wary of the profile that seems flawless. If every photo looks like a professional modeling shot, or if their backstory sounds too glamorous, it may be fake. Another giveaway is when someone moves at lightning speed emotionally. If within days they are declaring love, talking about marriage, or calling you “soulmate,” it’s more likely manipulation than romance. Real connections take time to grow.

Inconsistencies in their story

Pay close attention to details. A catfish often struggles to keep their story straight. They might tell you they live in one city but slip up later with a different detail. They may claim to have a certain job but avoid answering specific questions. When pressed, they might become defensive or try to change the subject.

Dramatic excuses and stories

Many catfish rely on dramatic personal narratives. They may claim to be stationed overseas in the military, working on a remote oil rig, or recently widowed with a child. These stories are designed to gain sympathy while also providing a built-in excuse for why they can’t meet in person. Some even recycle their lies by disappearing and then reappearing under a new name with the same tragic backstory.

Money becomes part of the conversation

This is the biggest warning sign of all. Eventually, most scammers will bring up money. It might start with a sob story about a medical emergency, travel delays, or a frozen bank account. They may directly ask you to send cash, wire money, or buy gift cards. The moment money enters the conversation, it’s almost certainly a scam. No legitimate romantic partner you’ve just met online should ask for financial help.

Smart Ways to Protect Yourself

1. Use video early

One of the quickest ways to confirm someone is real is through video chat. Even a five-minute call can provide reassurance. If the person refuses again and again, it’s best to walk away.

2. Do your research

Spend a few minutes looking up their name, photos, and details they share. While not everyone has a large online footprint, most people leave some kind of trace. If you can’t verify anything about them, be cautious.

3. Try reverse image search

If you suspect their pictures might not be real, use a reverse image search tool. If their “selfies” are actually linked to another name or come from a stock photo site, you’ve uncovered the truth.

4. Set a timeline for meeting

If the relationship feels promising, aim to meet in person within a few weeks to a month. Choose a public place and let friends know where you’ll be. Real people who are serious will want to meet; scammers will continue making excuses.

5. Protect your money

Never send money to someone you haven’t met. Don’t share credit card or bank details, and don’t pay for travel or visas. Even if the story tugs at your heartstrings, remember that scammers are experts at emotional manipulation.

6. Safeguard your personal information

In the early stages, keep your last name, workplace, and address private. Use the app’s messaging tools until you feel confident. If you move communication to phone or email, consider using a secondary number or account.

7. Be cautious with overseas stories

Military deployment or overseas contracts are two of the most common scam setups. While real people in these situations exist, be extra cautious if someone you’ve never met claims this as their reason for not seeing you.

8. Trust your instincts

If something feels wrong, it probably is. Many victims later say they had a gut feeling but ignored it. Don’t second-guess yourself, if the red flags are piling up, it’s safer to cut contact.

9. Ask for advice

Sometimes when you’re emotionally involved, it’s hard to see clearly. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or even an online support group. A fresh perspective can help you spot warning signs you might have missed.

Staying Safe While You Date

Dating online should be exciting, not dangerous. By knowing what to watch for and taking simple precautions, you can protect yourself while still enjoying the opportunity to connect with new people. 

Remember:

• Verify early
• Move cautiously
• Never send money
• Trust your instincts

The more proactive you are, the less likely you’ll fall victim to a catfish. Real relationships stand up to questions, to verification, and to meeting in person. Fake ones crumble under scrutiny. Stay safe, stay smart, and keep your focus on finding the genuine connections you deserve.







Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc