What To Do When Your Partner Refuses A Polyamorous Relationship

Jun 13, 3:53 PM | By Chris

As consensual non-monogamy is more prevalent these days, more and more people who preferred exclusive relationships in the past are wondering if they could benefit from opening their relationship. That is, it is not uncommon to enter a monogamous relationship thinking it is what you want and then reconsider. And that's fine; we have the right to change our minds. Congratulations if you have mentioned the possibility of a polyamorous relationship with your partner in spite of not knowing what they might think. It may sting some people's egos to learn that their partner wants to be with other people, but it's far preferable to going behind their partner's back and cheating. It's also preferable to remaining in an unhappy relationship.

However, just as you have the right to express your preference for non-monogamy, your partner has the right to express their feeling to refuse the same. So, what should you do if your preferences differ? This article will give a quick glimpse of what to do when your partner refuses a polyamorous relationship.

Clear Up Any Confusion

Many people are afraid of polyamorous relationships, or any other type of non-monogamy, for that matter, because they don't understand it. This thought conjures up images of cheating. Furthermore, there are so many ways to be polyamorous that they may have a different idea than you do. It is crucial to explain to your partner from the very beginning the nature, boundaries, responsibilities, level of commitment, effective communication, respect, sharing, and care you foresee in a fruitful polyamorous relationship. Honesty is the key to success in all relationships.

To avoid misunderstandings, explain to your partner exactly what kind of relationship you want to have and how you plan to maintain commitment, respect, and communication. Direct them to polygamy dating and matchmaking services or websites where they can learn more about open relationships. They may not be able to make a decision right away, but if they are willing to engage in ongoing dialogue with an open mind, that is a good point to start.

Assess Your Relationship

It all boils down to your motivations for starting your polyamorous relationship. To begin with, if your goal is to save your relationship, it is unlikely to succeed. Non-monogamy can strengthen already strong relationships, but it cannot sustain a relationship between two people who are fundamentally incompatible. If the issues you want to address are based on fundamental incompatibilities, you may have to reassess your relationship and spice up your dating life while keeping your current partner on board.

However, there are some desires that may be met by opening your relationship. Perhaps you want to explore a sexual kink, or perhaps you want to have more sex than you currently have. Consider whether you and your partner can meet those needs while remaining monogamous.

If there isn't, you must decide whether your relationship is worth foregoing the experiences you seek. If your partner is completely uncomfortable with the idea of polyamory and is unwilling to explore the topic in at least research and conversation, it's time to reevaluate the relationship and how much autonomy you want in your dating life.