User blogs

Dear Friends, To begin with, I am not judging those who are strictly or primarily interested in finding a sexual partner. That is your business and I think everyone understands that. Moreover, people have a lot of different types of lifestyles and beliefs and it is agreed that it is best to recognize that everyone should have the right to live as they wish. 

What I am going to discuss today is the question: when is the right time to talk about sex? The answer to that is often times not so simple. Being as I am not into swinging I am going to examine this question from the standpoint of someone who is really looking for a permanent life partner. 

To begin with, when I look over a profile one of the things that puts me off is displaying sexual pictures. No matter what the woman is really like, I tend to make assumption if I see too much of body right off the bat. I like a woman's form as much as anyone else, but if a woman reveals herself right away to me (an everyone else) that sends the message that she is advertising her body for a romp in the hay and not a really, lasting relationship (so to speak).  Being as fidelity is of paramount importance to me and my family, I ask myself, "could I ever trust such a woman to be faithful? 

Furthermore, if the first thing out of my mouth (or in text) is a "come-on: full of sexual innuendo, am I worth a real relationship with the person I'm talking to?  Again, I think not. 

In my opinion (which I realize is just that), I don't think that women who are really wanting a good man, wants him to zero in on her body or sexual acts right away.  I suppose, if both parties are just interested in hooking up, that would be a different matter, but for those who are honestly looking for someone to add to they hearts and home, that is not what we're looking. 

Moreover, when people come at women, who are seriously looking to join a family, with sex talk, that may tend to sour them on the whole concept.  Perhaps it even ends up driving them away from this site and from the notion of poly altogether. 

For me, personally, I will not talk about sex with a woman until there is a relationship that warrants such a conversation.  The woman I want would not lead with sexuality either.  While we are both adults and intimacy is at the heart of any vibrant relationship, getting to know her character and spirit, is the place to start for me.  Practically any woman can be very sexy if she is really in love with the man she's with, so it is not necessary to advertise that initially because it is a given. 

Some women have learned that being sexy or, appearing to be sexy, gets them a lot of attention.  Furthermore, the promise of sex with men can lead them to advantages in all sorts of ways.  However, given the choice between getting what they want through advertising their bodies and having those things given to them freely by a man who truly loves them as a person, I think many might prefer a real relationship. 

Also, and I think this is a valid point, just wanting to use a woman (or a man) only for your pleasure degrades them as a human being. 

In conclusion, I think "sex talk" might be better reserved for the time when their is a love relationship that is appropriate for that kind of intimacy.  Getting to know a woman or a man well before sex is perhaps the safest way to know what you are getting yourself in to. 

Lastly, if hooking up is really all you want to do, are their not other places better suited for find such a situation?  Why hide what you really want behind the facade of finding a sister wife if all you want is a sexual partner with little or no commitment?

Finally, everyone can do and be what they want.  I just know for myself, I want a woman good character, a sweet heart, and a loyal disposition.  If I can find that, everything else will follow.

Big hugs and lots of love,

Michael and family

Nice to meet everyone,

I have looked at this site for a while and it is nicely done.  Until now, I haven't felt to join.  However, over the last couple of months I've felt that I should take a serious look. I feel like there is someone we ares supposed to meet here. So, we took the plunge!

What is most important in our lives is being Spirit led.  That is we want to hear what God speaks to us personally, and do His will when he wants to do it.  I mention this because it is an organizing principle of our entire family. 

We have a lot of experience with this type of life choice and know pretty much what works and doesn't work for us.  I believe that you first get to know a person, then meet them (fairly soon), and only after both people feel it is right, explore whether or not it is a good match. 

Additionally, we call ourselves Divine Mates and not polygamists.  We feel that marriage, as is commonly practiced, is not really what God intends.  Therefore, to us anyway, polygamy is just a bigger, badder for of marriage.  Therefore, what is most important in our estimation is a spiritual connection authored by God where everyone feels drawn together by His Spirit. 

Other than our life style, we are very ordinary and middle class American family.  We believe that people who are meant to be with us are a blessing and we will be a blessing to them.  To us, love only multiplies, it does not divide. 

I don't know if you can contact us or if we must contact you first.  We plan to say hi to few people that seem like they have something in common with us.  let's see where it goes from there. 

Big hugs and lots of love,

Michael and family

Lonely and need a adventure ❤️

I get very discouraged the longer we've been actively seeking (6-7 years). In the beginning, we knew we had found the absolute dream. She was shipped to Kuwait for a year and came back in one piece. Sadly she was killed in a training exercise not a month later. We still have a hard time with that separately.

Since then we have dealt with dishonesty, lack of chemistry, differing views on raising children, ghosting, aspirations that needed to be chased, and outright psychopaths. We are exhausted but we know this is where our family is supposed to be. We want the stability for our children, the extra love. We want to share everything with someone. We aren't unethical "unicorn hunters". We're too old to be risking one night stands anymore, atleast on a regular basis. 

My dilemma is how do we find this wonderful person? How do we find someone who wants what we want? I am honest from the get-go and yet we still have a miscommunication along the way. I am hoping for a resolution soon, to make someone happy with us.

Thank you for listening to my rant. I appreciate it.

Not many want to metamorphosize! Even fewer realize that this path demands it!

I don’t care how ready you think you are, when someone finally comes along that actually has the potential to fit in your family it creates labor pains in every one of the parties involved.

Wives that are previously reserved but accepting of poly have to re-examine their trust in their husbands judgement and commitment to them and the family. That’s not a poly thing, that’s a people thing. For example, a wife that’s totally ok with one particular lady joining the home, may be reserved initially about a different lady or completely resistant to another.
And don’t get me started on the wives that fit the bobblehead category. When their crucible hits, Katy bar the door!

Husbands that are totally convinced that they’ve got it figured out find out that understanding theory and a commitment to being the greatest husband is just the nose under the tent flap.

Prospects that think they know exactly what they want realize (maybe) that they really have no clear idea of how to make it happen even when they’ve found the “perfect” family! It reminds me of the neighbors dog chasing cars, he wouldn’t know how to drive it if he caught it!

The point is that the metamorphosis for everyone is a litmus test of IF you can succeed at poly for life.

And butterflies aren’t made overnight. . . .

When I started studying poly 3 or so years ago, I had no idea that it would be as involved as it was or make so many changes in my life and christian walk.

One of the massive changes in my family’s life was that we were unwelcome in a church that we loved, and were actively participants in, and I had a large role teaching adults in.

We were summarily given the left foot of fellowship, simply because I had been studying this “taboo” topic, and had concluded in favor of it.  Not because we were looking for another wife or anything like that.  Simply studying it and accepting it as a theoretically, Biblically acceptable family structure was enough for people I’d considered friends for over a decade to do a Jekyl/Hyde transformation.  Only one person actually tried to look at the Bible with me over it and that was not the Pastor or Deacons.

My point with all of this, is that most of the time, for single Christian women who are hoping to marry into a family with a God fearing christian man, the possibility of continuing to be an active member of a church while being a plural wife is a very slim to none possibility.  At least if you are public about it in the very least.  

There are definitely alternative solutions to this issue, many home assemblies are ok with it, and many christian men who are poly for biblical reasons are a cut above most Corporate Christianity nodders, and should be more than capable of leading you into a closer walk with the Saviour.

Don’t let this discourage you from your search, just understand that there are more life changes to this than sharing a great man!

I am not looking to be 'added' to someone's life, I am not an extra or a thing.  I am a person, I have a life and family, I want a connection, I want a blending and joining together.  You will be brought into MY family just as much as I am brought into yours.

I am not an addition. 

Please be aware of the language you use, you are objectifying us and you don't even know it.

xx

As I look at the animals with the closest DNA and realise they all reject monogamy, then I look at most creatures in nature and even plants and realise that polygamy is the preference of nature, I feel blessed to be pursuing something so amazing. Then I looked at history and realised that most human societies practiced polygyny; I feel for sure that this is the right way. So many people in monogamy cheat and have secret affairs or flirting episodes (when they are already in a committed relationships) that it makes me realise that as the desire for polygamy grows in North America; we have an opportunity to create something special and beautiful. Polygamy would allow us to fix those parts of relationships that monogamy consistently lets us down. We have the opportunity to build better families, better man and woman dynamics, better understanding of sexuality and functionality. We would have less families experiencing dysfunctions and breaking up. There would be a lot of pains that could be avoided. As polygamy grows in this new world; we have the chance to live better lives. Let us make use of this current opportunity. 

Hello I would like to introduce myself my name is Monique and I am brand new to the site I have been thinking about this for a while after I got divorced five years ago because lately I’ve been kind of the second will in a relationship so why keep such a gem a secret when she can be out in the open.

It'll save your life mind and soul lol..truly. Because the couple that made me his second wife did not do any research and just assumed they knew what it was and painfully 4 months later, were still dealing with a very insecure, toxic wife with very unstable insecurities with in herself & its taking a nasty toll on me and my poly first husband, daily, and weekly. She's obviously not prepared for this like she pretended to be. 

So prepare prepare prepare. Because thats the key to smoother happiness for everybody. Inner work on one self is the major key here and every relationship. Business or personal. Yup. Proof is in the pudding.

Bye for now.