The emotion of jealousy is normally triggered by feeling such as (is he going to give her more attention than me?) (Is she going to give him more attention than me?) These feelings also can be triggered by the lack of self worth.
When one feels jealousy, they need to openly discuss how they feel with their polygamous/polyamory family.
The family also must not overreact and should listen and talk about ways to make the other who is experiencing jealousy, feel more comfortable in the relationship. This is not easy, the as polygamist we have chosen a lifestyle which is not considered the norm in American society.
My current soulmate and I believe in this lifestyle, not so much for physical gratification, but because we believe by practicing polygamy, it shows and helps us grow, loving others unconditionally and not just one individual in our life.
Can feelings of jealousy creep up on individuals who are very balanced? the answer is yes.
But the results are the same, if jealousy is not recognized and expressed to the others involved in the family. It acts like a cancer bringing destruction in it's wake.
Growing up and being around polygamist families I saw both the good and the bad, the families that were well-adjusted and loved each other, confront issues like jealousy, finances, expectations of children and responsibilities openly. They understood that real love require having good communication skills with each other, and that these issues had to be confront it before they cause a problem in all relationships within the family.
The polygamist families that ended up splintering, leaving many individuals hurt during these break ups, contained individuals who did not know how to openly communicate their desires and feelings to each other. Polygamy requires communication it's just that simple, polygamy requires work, polygamy requires mutual respect regardless of gender of the individuals involved in the family.
Most of all polygamy requires compromise and unconditional love for all members of the family and understanding their personal viewpoint even though it may not be our own. I encourage all individuals who fill jealously to discuss their feelings with their family members. And for those individuals who are contemplating relationships, to fully understand that the relationships will ultimately fail, unless all involved possess good communication skills.
So the first step to even contemplating a polygamist marriage, or even polyamory relationship is to address our own individual communication skills first, Secondly it is highly suggested that family set aside time weekly, to discuss things openly that may be bothering individual and the family unit. When the children are approaching adult age, it is suggested that they are included in these discussions. This is to give them some guidance on how to use conflict resolution to work through problems that the family and family's experience.
With love and patience destructive emotions such a jealous can be confronted and even alleviated, I hope the small post has helped. We express our best wishes for all, Sincerely, Carrie and Charles
And while we are open to seeing if we connect with someone specifically on this site, in all honesty, we are not holding our breath on that. It is a challenge to figure out the scammers, fakes and non-serious individuals. What we do appreciate is connecting with like minded people who have shared their insights and experiences in the poly community. Just reading through posts of those who’ve been willing to put it out there and give others a heads up, it has prevented us from negative outcomes. We have met great people, made some friends, and look forward to more friendships ahead!
Do they think:
"This man followed every rule. School, College, Uni. He did what he was told by society. Good for him!"
or
"This man broke all the rules! I could never afford that. How can you achieve so much without cheating or manipulating others? How do I look compared to him?"
When you hear someone hate on you as a man, or shame you as a woman, for living an abundant life, what do you really think is going through their mind?
"He must be manipulating these poor women! They only want his money!"
Or
"I could never have that life... I don't understand how that works.
People are MUCH more self absorbed than you think.
They don't care about YOU, but rather how you make THEM feel...
When we can't "make sense" of something, can't wrap our minds around it... That is when we get frustrated and upset.
If people are not happy to see you thriving, it is because they are barely surviving. They are not living up to their egos. Because hate doesn't come from above.
I have found it VERY insightful to see who appreciates you, who's opinions you should value, and to know who sees you as a threat to their ego by just being honest in everything I do in life.
Don't associate with the hate.
Let the haters HATE while we CREATE!
If you have any stories about people not accepting your big family tell us how you overcame the situation.
They don't even change the profile names much.
And, since this is a 'pay' site, I have to wonder why they are still on here.
Also, how many of you get messages from 'ladies' that consist of just 'Hi'? Or are just one liners that are fairly generic? Or seem to have the same general answers from different ladies?
Bots perhaps?
After years of searching (and succeeding) we have pretty much come up with the golden rules.
1) first mention of needing money, dump them.
2) no audio call, dump them.
3) no video, dump them.
4) no social media? dump them. Really folks - no single woman today does NOT have social media. If they say they don't, they are lying.
5) availability to communicate - if they have 'brown out times or blackout times or drop off abruptly, they have side games going, DUMP THEM.
I'm sure there are a few real women on here. I'm sure that they get swamped by messages (flies on excrement, pirahnas on a hot dog, etc etc). And lets face it: the swingers and party lifestyles and material enticements are what a lot of them are here for. The remaining .001% that are real and great catches run away as fast as they can.
Notice the one thing really missing here: real stories of real success and can be verified.
So, on the off chance this is read by a REAL lady that is looking, message us. If you are a scammer that we have dealt with or outed in the past, the internet never forgets.
On that note, we will NOT be renewing till we see a positive change. Don't hear anything about that anymore.... hmmm....