How to celebrate Father’s Day when trying poly dating

Jun 3 | By Chris

Poly dating is a fated convergence of lives--in some cases, it might result in blended families with children. While most monogamous partnerships celebrate Father’s day reflexively on the third Sunday of June every year, you might be under additional pressure if you’re in the poly dating world with multiple people. 


In 1922, Dr. Gary Chapman popularized love languages through his book The Five Love Languages.. Today, the main points still resonate with most people in relationships. So according to your husband or partner’s personality, they might appreciate one token of love more than the other on Father’s Day. 


Let’s explore the main love languages and what gifts are associated with them. We’ll include both material and immaterial gifts that go beyond a greeting card.


If their love language is giving or receiving gifts

Gift-giving and receiving gifts are common love languages in any relationship, whether it’s a polygamous household or not. Although the central theme of any holiday shouldn’t be about material things, gift-giving is more than just monetary value.


A carefully chosen antique vase or a handmade leather bag tells your partner that this very thing reminded you of them. This concrete token of love is rooted in the thought behind the present, rather than the actual thing, although the gift itself is a great bonus.


To proceed, consider your partner’s interests and find something that shows them you have taken inventory of what they like, and thought about how this gift will impact them. Do they have a pottery hobby? Try giving them a new trimming tool. Are they always complaining about a strained neck in the morning? Research the best pillows online and have one delivered to your home (or theirs).


If you’re eschewing practicality and want to lean into sentimentality, anything handmade or personalized is always a big winner. Think custom photo albums, matching coffee mugs, framed artwork, etc.


If their love language is physical touch

Gifts centered around physical touch might be easier to deliver than other items on this list. Physical touch is also something you can offer all the time when you’re together, not just on a single holiday. 


However, if you want to make it extra special, a scheduled massage or cuddle night can make your partner feel loved. Depending on your relationship, you might also open up the room to more intimate activities--if it’s feasible, of course.


If their love language is acts of service

When it comes to acts of service, magnitude doesn’t matter much. It can be something as small as offering to do the grocery shopping for the month or something as big as sorting out the household’s financial matters, whether it’s calling banks or sorting documents.


One note about acts of service is that daily deeds can make a large impact on your relationship. By picking up the slack or recognizing where your partner needs help (before they even ask for it), you’re actively building a healthy, love-filled relationship.


As for Father’s Day, sweet gestures like cooking extra special meals for the week or running their errands for them during the weekend are some viable ideas.


If their love language is quality time

Quality time is essential in any relationship, but may even be more crucial when plunging into poly dating. When you’re in a polygamous relationship, a decline in quality time can stress out your connections. 


Although some polygamists participate in hierarchical relationships, many others strive to maintain a non-hierarchical status between everyone involved. Thus, the challenge is how to allocate resources effectively.


Truthfully, this gets tricky when children are involved. Everyone’s lives are filled with different activities, work schedules, and social obligations, so that some relationships may preserve quality time better than others do.


For Father’s Day, organize a date with you and your partner alone with no interruptions. Unbroken conversation, full eye contact, and thorough mindfulness help set your connection in stone. Check in with others in the polycule, and ensure your calendars are all synced to make the one-on-one time a success.


If their love language is words of affirmation

Words of affirmation require no money at all, only thought and affection. This love language places importance on verbal presents like declarations of love, thoughtful compliments, words of encouragement, and meaningful discussion.


A video message from everyone in the family expressing their love is a fantastic expression of words of affirmation. Another idea is sitting with everyone for dinner and taking turns vocalizing what you appreciate about the father figure (or figures) in the household.


Keep in mind that daily words of affirmation are an effortless way of ensuring your partner feels loved and understood, so take advantage of this love language whenever you can.


Should I celebrate Father’s Day when trying poly dating?

Not every poly family has children, although many poly households do. If you’re a couple with children and are looking to add a second male figure into the mix, timing is key. Have an adult family meeting and decide when is the appropriate time to introduce a new figure to your children. 


This discussion might also include when to invite them for big events like Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Winter Holidays. As always, an open dialogue is key to mutual understanding.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


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