User blogs
"Man, you should be some sort of pimp!"
"I don't know how you do it. I can scarcely take great care of one!"
Those are the two sorts of reactions (other than the clear gaze) that are run of the mill when a man is 'turning out' to somebody about having a plural family. The littler gathering essentially accept that it's about the sex. The bigger gathering comprehends the duty that a Christian man has for the individuals from his family.
For the most part, in their reactions to the subject of polygamy, both men and ladies uncover something of what they consider the way of marriage and its expenses and advantages. Also, the truth of the matter is, you can't appreciate the diversion unless you concede to the tenets, and there's no reason for belligerence the relative benefits of polygamy with somebody that has a totally extraordinary esteem framework and comprehension of what marriage is than you do.
So in case you're engaging this nutty thought, be prompted that you would be advised to have your own particular esteems cleared up. A few people will acknowledge what you're doing on the grounds that they simply couldn't care less in particular, some have an "incline toward toleration" logic, and some will love you enough to at present love you notwithstanding when they think you've truly lost your brain. Yet, then again, some will believe you're odd funkily, some will believe you're irregular scarily, some will believe you're risky, and some will detest you.
All in all, our families and families we know have been tossed out of houses of worship, disregarded in their nearby groups, lost kids in care fights, had first spouses leave after it gets hard, been undermined with criminal arraignment (no feelings yet, express gratitude toward God), had developed youngsters cut us off, and in one case even had a demise risk. Not everyone, not in any case the vast majority, will despise you and attempt to hurt you. Simply enough individuals to keep it truly intriguing.
That is the awful news. The uplifting news is that this will improve you a man, a superior spouse, and a superior father. A superior sibling to other men in the collection of Christ. A more mindful adherent of the lessons of Jesus and a superior audience to the still, little voice of the Holy Spirit. In the event that you need this way of life to work—implanted in 21st century Western culture, with its open antagonistic vibe to and mistreatment of conventional parts and connections—you have no other decision.
Lol! Pale skinned blond showing tonnes of cleavage in a professional photo is apparently Native American from Nigeria and here looking for plural marriage. Yeeeeah
I am putting the odds at 50/50 as to whether the account will exist by the time I get out of my next appointment and can look again.
I am making fun of the lame nature of some of these efforts at scamming but there are so many people that get hooked by these people and get screwed over in one form or another.
So stop being so thirty and eager to get a hose job. Be cautious and not so gullible.
We've been a poly family for a decade or so - three of us. During the last 3 or four years we have been looking off and on.
We realized from the start that we have several things that limit our potential match pool. First of all, is the 'rural' issue - we are 35 miles from a city. We own our farmstead, so our 'match' needs to be willing to relocate. Additionally, we are in Texas, have kids, and dogs. We don't have huge disposable incomes and are the opposite of 'glamourous'. We are much more 'prepper' and 'off-grid'. Also, we are not into the party/drug/booze/swinging lifestyles. The one bright spot in our searching is that we are not set on a specific 'look' or age.
So, our potential match pool is pretty small no matter how you look at it.
Over the years we have learned that the vast majority of single women profiles are garbage. First off, there is a significant number that are outright fake - for whatever reason. These folks could be easily eliminated by the sites by ID verification, IP tracking, and text/phone verification. That would effectively eliminate duplicates and stop the majority of scammers, once identified, from starting over. But, that would reduce the number of 'members' which in turn is believed to reduce the incentive for couples to pay.... So no dating sites have really cracked down on it. In fact most of the software packages have 'fakes' bundled. Of the ones that are 'real', many are shopping for the best deal they can get and move from family to family. Others want to be 'pillow princesses'. And then there are some that are outright psycho or even mentally disabled that have seen the 'sisterwives' shows and feel that that is what they want. Some are even looking to actively attempt to destabilize existing poly families for personal gratification or the 'get even' for previous failed relationships (hell raisers).
About the term 'pillow princess' - both of the wives use this term to describe the women that feel that they can 'join' without bringing (or doing) anything other than playing in the bedroom. They expect to be taken care of - room, board, etc - yet contribute nothing to the family. If they work outside, they typically keep everything they earn and spend it on themselves (car, clothes, etc.)
We have run into every one of these many times. Yet, we still keep looking.
I don’t like being anyone’s experiment.
I am not practice.
I wish I could count how many times in the last two years I’ve been told, “you’re an amazing beautiful woman and you deserve a couple who can commit to you.”
How about this one: “We have realized we aren’t ready for this lifestyle now. But we wish you the best and we’d like to stay friends.”
Oh gosh I have so many examples by now. I open up and become vulnerable only to find out a month in, that they don’t want a third.”
People...Families...Please please make sure you know what you want. Or give it a chance before suddenly dropping it with some epiphany that you don’t want another woman in the relationship.
My favorite *sarcasm* is when people admit their own insecurities and never think of mine.
“We are too busy to pursue this kind of relationship.”
Oh gosh I could go on and on.
I Still allow myself to stay open and vulnerable. It’s difficult. I am exhausted by the same story almost every time (outside of a very painful breakup with a more long term relationship).
Some of my friends and family wonder why I would keep looking. I know 100% what I want and seek. I wish everyone did. My feelings get hurt most when I feel like a trial run.
People
Be
Honest
With
Yourselves
I do not disagree with this person in the slightest in their assessment that the site...and all of the others are likely to be the same realistically... is full of fakes and aggressive men.
The fakes are frequently just simple scammers and honestly you have to be a full on lumphead to fall for the kind of obvious cut and paste from a translator bot message that will pop up. Seriously... does anybody really think that a bunch of girls from Ghana are clambering to get into plural families in the states? Anyway, scams happen all the time and this is the internet boys and girls, it is part of the environment. The actual troublesome ones are the fakes from the point of view that they are not serious and are just looking to get an ego stroke or to jack with those plig weirdos or whatever. Tonnes of them on these sites.
With respect to the aggressive guys, I can just assume that they are the assholes who are either trying to larp polygamy because of some fantasy and again ego stroke issue or they are the sort of douche that has managed to bully or convince their frequently unwilling wives into this search with claims that God is talking to them directly in a big booming voice so he can use her faith against her or some other scam perhaps involving fear of losing financial support for her and her kids. The reason being in the end that he wishes to have regular sexual access to another woman. This sort of beta dickhead is not really going to come in many flavors but aggressive is certainly one of the most popular .
Now don't get me wrong... I am not white knighting the girls on here at all. They leave so much to be desired that it makes me all the more thankful that I met and married one of the few real gems that really was looking to be part of a plural family.
The vast majority of woman on here are just simply ill mannered brats that I would not have at all. While a man is absolutely the head of the family, a man should not be forced to reraise a woman he has married and try to undo all of the apparently shoddy work that her parents did in teaching her the bone basics of how to treat people.
I know that just about every serious couple on here who is seeking a sisterwife has experienced the ghosting treatment from the singled women (presuming that they are A. Single B. Women ((what the hell is wrong with people that they have nothing better to do?)) C. Seriously looking for a family instead of screwing around.). They exchange a few messages and or emails and then puff of smoke and the girl is gone. No warning, no 'Thanks but I don't think we are a match' or anything.
Now don't get to thinking I am just being butthurt that some girls ghosted me. A. Noooope. See the profile. Not looking for another wife. Maybe someday but right now we are just trying to network with the community. B. As i previously mentioned, I would not have the ones with such bad manners gift wrapped. I do not wish to spend my life in a contentious marriage with a brat I have to reeducate on courtesy and consideration for others as opposed to the shallow narcissist who can not be bothered considering the time or feelings of others. There are some couples here who really get ahead of themselves emotionally after a few exchanges and while that is not some random girls fault, she should be aware of the effect just blowing them off has. Lots give up just because some woman was not interested in thinking beyond the end of her nose. I/we have been happy to meet and chat with women here but we sure are not going to come out of the gate as anything but plain old friendly and certainly not flirty or whatever.
Yeah I know... 'but a lot of guys are assholes and won't take a polite no'... or 'I get so many emails I am overwhelmed' etc etc. Yeah? Is this your first time on the internet as a female? These are such common issues with such common solutions that I don't see them as valid complaints. Just part of the equation with online seeking of any kind.
So to my mind the couples who get ghosted by the women with bad manners, just move along and be glad. Glad that you found out about this character flaw after a couple of notes back and forth. Imagine how much worse it would be if it seemed to work out only to have the rug pulled out much further along... I mean that genuinely. It could be so so much worse. Nobody is here, whether it is as a single woman or a couple, to get their emotional guts ripped out.
As most of you guys Know, me and Robyn Own and Run Sister Wives.
A Problem we run into while matchmaking, is Games....
Listen, I will be the first to tell you, we are not immune to anything at all. The facts are, A Lot of Couples and Groups met their match here on sister wives, it makes us happy to know that we do help the community, and Help many people seeking a sister wife find their matches...
Anyways I will share some of our Professional Advice with you guys to help minimize heartache.
Ready?
Note: THESE are Time Frames everyone should be aware of.
1. If He/She will not Hop on a Phone Call with you within a Day or 2, STOP Wasting Your Time. NEXT.
2. VIDEO Chat, by 2 or 3 days of Talking, 1 week max, if He/She will not video chat, STOP Wasting your Time, You Might be getting Cat fished or played.
3. This is the Big one, If He or She is not willing to Meet you within 1 Month, STOP Wasting your Time, By now there will be some heartache, but you can not have a virtual relationship. It is time to move to the next step in the relationship, and that includes proper courting/dating.
and Finally the Last
4. By 2 - 6 months if He or She is not willing to move closer, or at least plan to... You Probably Wasted your Time. Sorry
I base this off my relationship, and in my experience with poly matchmaking.
Best of Luck to you all.
One thing I’ve noticed on “dating” or “meet people” networks over some period of time is that it’s SO easy to “write people off”:
too much this, not enough that.
This site certainly has one major advantage: For those of us who understand the Biblical basis of marriage, and that without question (except by those who mostly won’t be here anyway!) Scripture permits a man to have more than one wife – one of those major hurdles is removed.
Which doesn’t mean there aren’t others. Such as, is this person even REAL? Not just bots or fakes, of course, but scams. And while that’s part of the mix anywhere (perhaps even more so, given an arguably wider audience of dupes) – it’s a major issue when the pool of candidates is smaller, and the real ones are thus even more discerning.
Which is, obviously, both a good thing, and the opposite. But it does mean we have to be more selective, not less.
Which takes me back to where I began.
How much MORE important, then, to not write off the real ones? (After all, we all have our flaws, and are capable of working on them anyway).
On a more personal level, that observation leads me in a different direction. And I hope the connection will be clear.
There are, without question, many here who aren’t looking for marital partners based on an understanding of what I would consider THE most important, even vital, considerations, but something arguably opposite. (Personally, I don’t see the appeal; prostitutes, gay bars, and palaces for ‘pans’ are all over, especially in the cesspool cities some of us have escaped from, so why bother sorting through bots?)
I/we came to an understanding of Scriptural marriage in parallel with realizing that “we have inherited lies from our fathers.” Most of what I’d been told in sun-god day skool was bunk, from Him having “done away with his own Law” (perhaps the biggest lie in human history, right up there with “you can be like god,” and “you will not die”) to having changed His sabbath and feast days that He said over and over again He would not do.
Eventually I realized His mama NEVER called him ‘jesus’ (that word didn’t even exist in the English language until after 1600 AD) and then what Paul (Shaul) was warning about only a few decades after He had walked among us: that they were then, and are still, pushing “another jesus whom we have not preached” (check that out for yourself in II Corinthians chapter 11 if you find that shocking).
If ‘jesus’ “did away with” his own law (actually, “torah” is the real word; it means instruction) and “nailed it to the cross” - then that one is a “liar and the truth is not in him.”
Which makes the point I was leading up to.
I was – like many of us – angry with what I still call the ‘whore church’ (the Bible does, too!) for just how Big that Lie turned out to be. And the lies about marriage (and the curses we now see in societies that swallow them) are just one big part of that.
It’s why I now spend so much time teaching His Word, “as Written,” and advise all with “eyes to see,” and “ears to hear” to “come out of her.” (Revelation 18:4)
But it took me/us quite a while to get from there, and the lies we had inherited, and so much of the baggage of ‘xtianity’ to a place where we understand what He means by “return to Me.”
It’s not easy. And a whole world which literally HATES Him, and all that He Wrote, is making it harder by the day. He says “choose life!” (Deuteronomy chapter 30) - the world demands a choice of death. (Think I’m kidding? Tune into any of my news shows. Today, they want to poison kids under the age of 5. Before they ‘groom’ them, or get them to mutilate their genitalia and destroy their immune system and sexuality utterly. And from the 'poison poke' to the biggest economic meltdown in history, to the planned famine and next plandemic, the intent is to kill tens of millions.)
I understand that what He is asking us to do is not easy. It never was. But as the world literally becomes a ‘hell on earth’ - it will get far harder. And it was always a matter of life and death.
SO:
I/we aren’t looking for a ‘wife’ that already “knows it all.” I don’t claim to, but I do understand what “study to show yourself approved” means, and more than a bit about how that applies to everything from what is ‘money’ (hint: not fiat FRNs, but the Hebrew word ‘qesef’ means BOTH money and silver, just as the Constitution says, too) to what is ‘marriage’. And what’s coming, because He has given us no small amount of warning.
Most importantly, what we need to do now.
I suspect that the concentration of good women who understand that is probably higher than any other such platform around. Understanding something about polygyny is a good start. But only that. A belief in ‘Jesus’ as messiah can be, too, but He is much more, and that’s probably why Paul says “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12. After all – if saying a prayer once and getting dunked was all it took, why would Yahushua Himself say the “path is narrow, and FEW there be that find it”?)
Which leads me to the ‘big finish’. Moses wasn’t so much the “meekest” man ever (‘anav’ in the original Hebrew) – I suggest he was the most “teachable.”
He had a lot to learn. So do we.
And that’s what we’re looking for.
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