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Looking for a third in Cali if anyone is interested
We sold our house AND bought another...almost in the same day!! YIKES!!! And WOW!!

we're gonna love the older home but more than anything a nice quiet neighborhood!!

Can't wait...except for...all the packing etc.!!  YIKES and DOUBLE WOW!! LOL!!

We are excited!!

Looking for a polygamist couple looking for a single female. I would love to date and possibly build a future.
sarahs23 Mar 17 · Comments: 3
Love is meant to be multiplied not divided by jealousy. This is a calling not a lifestyle for everyone..
Mea2016 Mar 16 · Comments: 3
So I'm sitting here at the local truckers cafe writing this. You know when you renovate your home things get destroyed? Like your walls and suddenly your bathroom is in transition. What was ( and shortly will be again ) a home, is like a strange camping experience. We needed to do a renovation but I never knew the physical pain and the emotional struggle that redoing a house brought on. Austin is trying to get everything wrapped up, but the truth is, we are in limbo. We both work and the people who did the last renovation, well they shouldn't have been allowed to do anything. Wires put together with duct tape, Sheetrock over holes ( basically nothing between the exterior and that Sheetrock), and a lot of other things that even I, an amateur at this, can see is wrong. Who let these people add on to their home Willy Billy ? I mean they must have been drinking and getting bored and suddenly they remembered they had some lumber and Sheetrock outside. Anyway, we are correcting things and getting to put our personal touch on the house. Paint colors, bathroom redesign, adding a screened in patio which is my favorite. Going to turn the house into an oasis, as long as we can get on the same page with the design. It means that I have to give up some things like using wifi at home but hopefully everything will be put back together in the next couple months. The warmer weather will help. What colors look good with grey cabinets in the kitchen? I'm debating on a few but what do you think?
Countrynerds Mar 14 · Comments: 1 · Tags: paint colors, remodeling, advice
Ok, So we have been chatting with someone on this site for about a week. So she is in college supposedly. So i've been texting her and she tells me that i haven't talked to her in 3 days. Well I HAVE! Today she says, I have something to ask you, In school today my professor asked me to pay $550. So can you send it to me and i'll send you the information to where to send it. But I need it by Friday!. That way i can pay it and start my relationship with you. What The H...? Is this normal? I don't know this person except through some text messages. If she was here then I could see helping, or if we WERE in a relationship. But not only after just a week and not really knowing her. Has anyone else been faced it with this and how do you respond? I'm so lost....We have had nothing but bad experiences from these people. We want a honest, committed relationship and we just can't seem to find it in anyone to wont the same. Are we doing something wrong? We need help!
Julie_Robby2603 Mar 13 · Comments: 5
Pretty short on this topic, but it was an eye opener for me that I should be a little more transparent with my kids about some of our potential life decisions. I had an interesting encounter with my daughter today about polygamy, and I figured some of you might get a laugh or at least share the pain.

I was on my phone this morning responding to a couple messages on Sisterwives when my oldest daughter (Hannah/8) trots over and gives me what I thought to be a hug. After a second, she acts startled and yells out "DAD, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SISTERWIFE???" Apparently, she had started reading my private conversations while giving me a quick hug. (Despite my best attempts, my children at times have no regard for manners or personal space.) Either it was a lack of understanding the privacy of an IM, or she was simply snooping to see what I was doing, but she quickly deduced that I must be looking around for another wife. Oh boy.

After that outburst, Hannah started getting upset with me. I assume it's probably due to jealousy for her mother (coming to her defense as her father was "stepping out" as she interpreted it), so I couldn't get upset with her righteous indignation. I'm glad that she is defensive of her mother and will even go to bat with Dad if I'm not treating Mom well by her interpretation. I gave Hannah some background as to why we are on Sisterwives, and simply told her that we're being open to the possibilities. I didn't go into everything, but I gave her enough to help answer some questions.

Anyway, my lesson from this is while the husband/wife might be open and on the same page with polygamy, it might be worth mentioning to your older children what possibilities you are opening your family up to. You will need to decide what your children might be ready for. Either way, don't let them find out by snooping on your phone... it's much more difficult playing defense than offense .

(In Hannah's defense, after we started talking it turns out her biggest concern was that she didn't want a baby brother since girls are so much better....... I can only hope and pray that she keeps that attitude for the next 12 years.)
DanSmith Mar 9 · Comments: 5 · Tags: family, funny, lifelesson
We've had a couple discussions with ladies and some of them seem unsure of what questions to ask new families. So, here are some of my thoughts on questions that women should be asking or thinking of when it comes to investigating new families. These questions are in no particular order, and these questions may not apply to everyone, and it's certainly not a "catch-all". It's only meant as a potential starting point.

While I am pointing this to the newer women joining the site and looking at polygamy for the first time, I think everyone (families included) should be considering these questions when approaching someone new.
Q: Does the family in question line up with your religious beliefs and political/moral beliefs?
A: Let's get this one out first... I believe that in order to make a family successful, families should have the same religious beliefs and moral direction. Obviously, nobody will agree on everything 100% of the time. However, there seem to be a few topics that can make or break relationships and it usually will revolve around these topics. Discussing the differences between your values will help you understand if the relationship can work.

Q: Have you prayed or mediated on the family/woman in question?
A: To quote someone that I respect: "I don't ask God for favors or for wishes. But, I do think that if you sit on the edge of your bed, and things aren't going very well for you, and you ask what foolish thing you're doing to make it worse that you'll get an answer right now. And it won't be the one you want, but it might be the one that if you listen to it would set things straight."

Wherever you sit on the religious/spiritual spectrum (or don't in some cases), self reflection or prayer helps to build emotional self-awareness. Take time and ask yourself the important and sometimes uncomfortable questions. In any marriage, your weaknesses and strengths will be shown. Learn how to understand your emotions, your strengths, your weaknesses, and ultimately what is driving you to a particular family.

Q: Do you share similar life goals or dreams? If not, can you be happy living in a different way?
A: I'll offer myself up as an example. Our family is going to build a homestead. No, I don't expect that I'll begin to earn my living this way. However, I love the concept of growing gardens and raising my own animals for food. This might be a silly example, but someone that cannot stand the outdoors or that is vegan might not enjoy my bacon-loving, cow-milking lifestyle. They might be able to compensate for awhile, but unless they change their lifestyle or we change ours, it's a possible contention point.

Q: Does the family expect you to relocate?
A: Obviously, there are many variables to consider, but if you're joining a family that is established (has a mortgage, been there 10+ years, kids are enrolled in school and programs, etc.), you might be the one most able to accommodate a change. Is that something you're willing to do, or is the family happy to move around your needs?

Q: Along with the question above, does the family have enough space to accommodate you (and potential children)?
A: I've known lots of families that squished to make everyone fit... not saying it's a bad thing at all, some families love the squish! It's simply another consideration.

Q: Is there a big age difference? Do you want to have more children, and is your potential husband in a position to raise them?
A: To me, age difference is just a number in most cases. My wife has a sister that married into a polygamous family and her husband is about 21 years her senior, and she's as happy as can be. That being said, if your husband is much older than you, raising children is going to be different. If your husband is having children into his late 40's or 50's, speaking candidly he might not be able to help with child rearing. 

I knew one man who married a much younger woman, and he specifically told her that he only wanted a couple of kids at most. His concern was not watching them grow up in case something happened to him. That really stuck out in my mind, and I'm glad he addressed it. And NO, this is not a knock against older men... just a fact of life.

Q: What are the sleeping arrangements?
A: While this might seem silly, there is a group (however small) of people that take different approaches to how husbands and wives sleep... sometimes even in the same bedroom. Now, I'll never judge another family and what they do. I just know that I'm traditional, and I believe every wife should have her own master bedroom at the minimum. Everyone needs their own space.

Along with the housing, something else to consider is are you all going to be living in the same house, or do you all require your own house to live in? Just some more considerations.

Q: Do you understand their love types?
A: If you don't, take a basic love type test and find out what they are. If they are a physical contact type and you're a words of affirmation type, you'll need to know that there are differences in how to react and show love. This will save you TONS of miscommunication later in the relationship.

Q: Have you mentally and spiritually prepped for the critics?
A: No, I don't believe you should ever listen to those who are critical of your life, simply because they don't understand or agree with you. However, this lifestyle does draw criticism and you can be sure you'll get it from your own family. Be prepared to hear it, face it, and do your best to have a thick skin.

Q: Does the husband want more wives after you join into the family?
A: I've seen women be happy to join into a family, but have a hard time accepting new wives join. Every woman will go through emotions as the family changes (honestly, EVERYONE goes through emotional hardship at times), and there's a good chance that it never comes up. However, be open to the concept that it could happen.

Q: Do you think you can become best friends with the wife/wives in the family?
A: Some women are simply amazing when it comes to opening up their home to a new wife. And I've seen times where the "first" wife couldn't/wouldn't be friends with the new wife. As important as the husband and wife relationship is, the wives should all have their own relationship outside of the husband. In my words, I'd hope they could be "besties".

Q: Are you ready to accept other children as your own?
A: Obviously, this is a question most everyone is confronted with BEFORE they even decide they want to be in a polygamous family. However, living with other children and accepting and loving them as your own are two different things. The successful families that I know make the distinction that it's "their family", not "her family" or "my family". Obviously, the children have a birth mother and she does have a special relationship with her own children (which I think shouldn't be downplayed or thrown under foot), but I believe that the other wife(s) should understand that they're adoptive mothers, for lack of a better word, and they should be as invested in those children as everyone else.

DanSmith Mar 5 · Comments: 5 · Tags: families, questions
So I just have alot on my mind and i'm sure a lot of people probably wont read this post but I just need to get some things down in writing. 

So my fiance and I joined this site in search of a sister wife or more of a triad relationship. It seems like alot of people on here aren't serious about what they're looking for or message you once then you never hear from them again. We aren't here for a hook up or that "unicorn" We are very serious about our search for someone who will be long term. Part of our life forever. But where do we look? Should we just give up? We have been searching everywhere for quite some time and are getting a little frustrated.

Are there no girls out there that actually want to live the lifestyle we want? Are there no girls out there that are as serious as we are? We have so much love to share but can't find that "one" who wants what we do. It seems as though finding someone to share your life with is harder than we had planned. Everyone tells us to be patient but for how long? We have been looking for almost 2 years now with not really anyone that is serious.

Does anyone have any advice or some suggestions on what we should do?

Gr510 Mar 2 · Comments: 13 · Tags: polyamorous, triad
Get a bit shaken up when the female in the couple reaches out.  I think (I am the female in the couple) it is very healthy when the woman reaches out - at least you know she likes you for something not just she is interested in a physical relationship.  Even though some women are interested in that but still there should be nothing to shake them up.  

I notice if I reach out and just say "Hi" they will respond and chat until they realize its a female then it goes dead and they disappear.  If I reach out and say "Hello, this is Adriana and I like your profile and we like to know you more- and NO I am not Bi"  I never hear back from them.  Their profile says they want friendship with the couple and sisterhood with the female but their actions completely different, maybe one or two did respond and I will be darn they wanted a sexual relationship with both of us, something I can't do.  

Anyone else notices that? 

AB6280 Feb 28
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