Polyamory and Sexual Health

General

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Sexual health is important for everyone regardless of sexual orientation, or desired forms of relationships. An important thing to remind oneself, and often, is that sexual health is not only about protecting yourself. Sexual health protects the people you love, and the people with whom you choose to be intimate. It requires all of us to be proactive in order to make the world a safer place. Making love instead of war is great! However, it's good to review some best standards and practices occasionally to make sure you're doing your part to promote everyone’s well-being.

The first standard everyone needs to adopt is open communication. If you aren't mature enough to communicate clearly about your risks and expectations in a relationship, you aren't really cut out for a polyamorous lifestyle. Becoming a new sister wife, or joining an existing poly family of any form, means you could be exposing multiple people to health issues. They deserve a chance to determine the risks they're willing to take, or precautions they choose to employ when given honest circumstances. Families don't look for sister wives or additional partners because they're looking for trouble. Poly and polygamy dating are complicated enough without adding dishonesty or neglect to the mix. 

Choose to be a person that enriches the lives of others by staying on top of your sexual health, and always be forthcoming with potential partners about expecting the same from them.

Everyone should be tested at least annually for conditions that can result from sexual activity. Unfortunately, nothing is foolproof, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Sexually active people that are sometimes involved outside of a closed family or group need to be screened for STIs at least every six months. Highly sexually active people outside of a closed unit should consider a screening every three months. Any moral hangups about your level of sexual activity need to be set aside. Make sure you're clear of sexually transmitted conditions and find a counselor if you think you might have a sexual addiction, or other behavioral issue. A high sex drive isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

Polyamorous relationships and polygamous families actually provide an environment where a high sex drive can be beneficial. If it becomes problematic, never be ashamed to seek the help you need. Your lovers, sister wives, intimate partners, or otherwise sexually involved people in your life will support you.

On the other end of the spectrum is a low sex drive. Maybe you're having trouble finding a sister wife? Maybe you're questioning your attachment to a polyamorous group? It's normal to feel a lack of confidence at times. The same standard applies that you should never be ashamed of getting the help you need. Physical health, and other health or mental issues, can be the root of a low sex drive too. Don't neglect the importance of your sexual health even when you're not often in the mood. 

A healthy poly family needs intimacy. A healthy poly family will also support each other to attain the intimacy necessary to maintain their bond.

Assuming your polygamous family, or otherwise polyamorous group, is operating as a happy and healthy bunch, there are further things to consider. Allowing our sex lives to become stagnant can actually lead to problems. The ‘if it ain’t broke’ approach doesn’t work with human relationships. People will grow apart and could even lose sexual compatibility if you leave a relationship or sex life unattended. There are people that lose interest in sex as they age, and that’s okay, but, only if the loss of interest in sex is compensated for with other forms of intimacy. Your sex life and your sexual desires belong to you, even if that means losing interest. However, don’t let a sexual dysfunction turn into a lack of desire. Talk to your partners about things they may want to explore. If you’re in a polygamous family maybe its time to look for a new sister wife, or even consider an additional husband for the family. The rules for your relationship are yours to make. Don’t be afraid to try new things or explore new ideas with your life partners. 

Life is supposed to be an adventure.

Throughout the adventures you’ll find with the people you love it’s important to remember to create an environment where honesty and integrity are valued over comfort. If you make it impossible to discuss uncomfortable things you can only expect to be left in the dark when they come up. It’s a dangerous precedent to set when you punish someone you love for their honesty. The core of sexual health is honesty. Be honest with yourself, be honest with your sexual partners, and be honest with your health providers. Most of the situations we get ourselves into can be corrected. Don’t get into a mind set that punishment is the answer. Focus on intent and healing.

Nobody is perfect. To treat others as though they should be perfect is to deny yourself room to make mistakes. No mistake should be allowed to harm others if you can avoid it. Sex creates bonds that can be painful to break so it’s important to approach every sexual relationship with great responsibility. Don’t deny yourself or the people you love the beauty of honesty and integrity from day one of your relationship. Life is much better, and much safer, when we’re all taking excellent care of ourselves and the people we love.

Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com