Becoming Poly

Feb 4 '2019, 3:46 PM | By Chris

Polygamy and polyamory are all over media lately. The possibility of forging your own relationship style promises lives that were previously left to only wild imaginations. Acceptance of women who choose to be sister wives and of people that choose to maintain multiple lovers is widespread and it allows opportunity for happiness previously unheard of. When ideas are trending it’s easy to buy into the hype. New things sound so exciting! Even with the amazing experiences a poly lifestyle can bring there are difficult times and situations to be considered. Polygamy and polyamory are not for everyone. If you believe either is right for you here is a helpful process to help you be prepared.

The first step is consideration - 

What are the real motivations behind your desire to find sister wives or to date multiple people? If sex is your core drive you should take a step back and determine if you’re ready for any relationship at all. Having multiple sexual partners doesn’t have to involve commitment and it’s important to be honest with your encounters about your motivation. If finding a sister wife or multiple relationships appeals to a deeper sense of being whole your approach to dating will need to reflect your ideas of building close connections with prospective partners. Either approach is valid and you need to know where you stand. 

Your family, friends, and maybe even current lover can be daunting hurdles when you consider adopting a polyamorous or polygamist life. It’s devastating if you’re already involved in a relationship and they refuse the life you want to explore. Your family and friends may not be able to accept your choices. Ultimately, the choice is yours, but affecting other lives negatively is no good way to begin. If you know you cannot be happy in a fully monogamous lifestyle you will need a game plan.

The second step is planning - 

Before you can start searching for a sister wife or poly date you have to prepare yourself and anyone around you that will be affected. Telling your wife you’d like to find a sister wife might seem impossible but it has to be done and the fallout has to be dealt with. You’ll regret it far worse acting autonomously if you’re already involved in a relationship. Your family and friends can come later but the early plan has to involve transparency and honesty with current lovers. If you’re shut down you have to return to step one and decide how much its worth to you. 

Once your plan to reveal yourself as a polyamorous or polygamist person is in action you can begin planning your approach. Determine exactly how you want your family or relationships to be and find the aspects that will fulfill your heart’s desires. Once you know where you stand it’s time to begin your search.

The third step is implementation - 

During the planning process you’ll come across several options for approaching a polyamorous life. Being an active member of a poly community, online or IRL, will be one of the biggest sources of support and appropriate options for dating. Be clear with people, and in your profile, about what you’re looking for and be open to new ideas. It’s rare we don’t evolve as we become more familiar with things. Learn as much as you can from every encounter and always give back by sharing your experiences with others. Building your relationships and new friendships will be an award in itself. Eventually you’ll have the home or relationships you worked hard to achieve.  

The fourth step is sustaining - 

Finding sister wives to build a polygamist home is an exciting process. Maintaining that home should also be something that brings everyone involved joy. Finding multiple lovers of any sort is greatly rewarding and should continue bringing joy for years to come. Working together to resolve issues and providing an environment of love and understanding will make all of your efforts worth it. Never forget your days back on step one when considering your deep desires and the love and understanding you needed to fulfill your life. Times may come when someone you love has to follow their heart away from you. Don’t make it more difficult than it already is. Love is a complicated thing and not every relationship has to be forever. Be the person you’ve needed others to be in every situation. 

Being a sister wife or in any polyamorous relationship is rewarding if it’s right for you, but with great things comes great responsibility. There are more hearts to handle carefully and situations can be more complicated with more people involved. It takes a strong person to successfully maintain a polygamist or polyamorous life. Is it right for you?

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc -


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