Chris's article

Photo from:https://theblast.com/127175/what-does-the-sister-wives-family-tree-actually-look-like


On Thursday, TLC announced via press release that four fan favorite shows are returning in early 2021. Two of those shows are Seeking Sister Wife, returning for season 3 on February 28, and Sister Wives, returning for season 10 on February 14. Here’s what we know and how we feel about their representation of the polygamy and poly community on television.


Seeking Sister Wife


As we’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, Seeking Sister Wife is one of the polygamist lifestyle television shows we have had the opportunity to help. The hit show explores the lives of five poly families in various stages of looking for a sister wife to add to their lives. With two returning families and three brand new couples looking for poly love - in the midst of a global pandemic, no less - TLC promises this season will be “noisier than ever”.

This season promises to be a “wildly unfiltered” look into these families' ups and downs as they navigate the world of polygamy dating. From a 90-day twist featuring a Brazilian bombshell and divorce, to a fiery live-in clash, all while in quarantine, if there’s one thing we know this season will bring, it’s drama. Hopefully, some of the ups will include tips and ideas for you couples who are seeking a sister wife (sorry, we had to) in a socially distanced setting.


Seeking Sister Wife season 3 premieres on TLC on Sunday, February 28 at 9 p.m. EST.


Sister Wives


In the teaser video for the tenth season of Sister Wives, Kody Brown, his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn — and their combined 18 children are temporarily living in four separate homes amidst the coronavirus pandemic. Following their move from Las Vegas to Flagstaff, Arizona, last season, the Browns were hopeful to start a new chapter together. Unfortunately, that does not appear to be the case for this season as frustrations and tensions soar with Meri feeling unloved, Christine saying she "can't do marriage with Kody anymore" and more.

The poly family had planned to live on a massive shared compound before the pandemic forced the four sister wives and their individual children to quarantine separately as Kody attempted to go back and forth safely. This appeared to open up the question of whether or not the four sister wives want to reunite and cohabitate once the pandemic ends, leading Kody to ask the women if they even want to have a relationship with one another. In a confessional, Janelle told the camera “Maybe there are some of us who are like, 'Look, I don't want it anymore.’”


The almost 3-minute clip goes on to show Christine, feeling disconnected from her fellow sister wives, wanting to move back to Utah and Robyn revealing she feels her relationship with Kody is being undermined. Meanwhile, Meri struggles with Kody’s loss of romantic feelings for her. The clip ends with Christine emotionally confiding in Meri that she “can't do marriage with Kody anymore.” Clearly, there will be no shortage of drama for the Brown family and their viewers this season.


Sister Wives season 10 premiers on TLC on Sunday, February 14 at 10 p.m. EST.


What This Means for Polygamy Representation on TV


These two shows are arguably the most mainstream representation of the poly and polygamy dating community to date. Knowing that these shows that are centered around family dynamics similar to our own are popular can be both exciting and frustrating. While it’s awesome to see how much the public has enjoyed watching polygamist families live their lives, these shows also offer a limited (and very dramatic) perspective to viewers who otherwise don’t know much about polygamy.

Even though the shows can be dramatic, they show us so many different perspectives - good and bad - that we can learn from to strengthen our own poly relationships. They also show monogamous viewers how normal and relatable polygamists are. We all feel love and strain in our relationships for similar reasons, and it’s nice that more and more people are finding common ground with the poly community.


That being said, this is also the time of year where Seeking Sister Wife and Sister Wives viewers become curious about how poly dating works and decide to look up a polygamist matchmaking website, find the Sister Wives website, and create a profile. Sometimes this is great! Others are bored and become catfishes or time wasters. We moderate accounts on our site, but have provided tips on how to spot a catfish before you become invested in them.


In Conclusion


We’re excited to watch the new seasons of Seeking Sister Wife and Sister Wives and encourage fellow polygamists to watch as well. Even if reality television drama isn’t your cup of tea, it’s still a great opportunity to engage with viewers online using each show’s
hashtags, which could really help spread accurate awareness of our community. It’s also important we show our support for polygamist representation in mainstream media, especially because the families involved in the shows are members of our community, too.







Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


When we started Sister Wives as sisterwives.net in the beginning of 2008, we started it as a side project. We noticed that they did not have any poly sites out there, just a few forums, and that was it. Robyn and I were primarily doing affiliate marketing full time. We were pretty surprised to see how fast Sister Wives was growing and how much hunger there was for a site like ours.

 

And since 2010, we have worked pretty endlessly on the site. Many hours of SEO and development went into Sister Wives to make it what it is today.
Our main goal is to provide a safe and effective platform for everyone seeking a poly lifestyle: polygamy, polyamory, polyandry, group relationships, etc.

 

Our primary focus on Sister Wives is to promote love is love and allow people to love whom they desire, to be who they want to be, and not to be ashamed of that.

 

Recently we have been dealing with a lot of copycats. Now mind you, most of these copycats are located offshore, primarily in India. These people are in it for one thing only, and that is to make money. Money was never a driving force for Sister Wives. We wanted to provide the polygamous and polyamorous communities with a safe and effective platform to use, and we think we are achieving that goal. It just makes our hearts glow every time we hear about a successful match made on our platform, and we are truly grateful for that and the many dedicated, patient, and loyal customers we have.

 

We have worked with several TV Programs, including Seeking Sister Wife, This is Life with Lisa Ling - Modern Love on CNN, and a few podcasts as well.



You can read a little about our journey via this Blooming Wellness Blog: Polygamy and Mental Health with Dr. Erin Stair. Since then, we have had another failed attempt of our own pursuing this lifestyle. It was so bad that Dr. Erin Stair did a podcast on it and decided to delete it after a couple of months because, overall, it was pretty negative, and she knew that was not the message we wanted to send.


I would urge everyone out there that is actively pursuing a polygamous or polyamorous lifestyle to be careful, take your time, and get to know someone before you end up getting hurt as we did and so many others have.














Written By: Christopher Alesich, 

I am an advocate of committed and faith-based relationships alike. I am also a dedicated supporter of #loveislove and believe that love is a gift from God. Love has no Limits.

 







Published By: Christopher Alesich, 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Communication is one of the most important things in our lives and relationships, especially when you’re in a poly relationship. Oftentimes, people are hesitant to be too forthcoming with their feelings out of fear it will come across confrontational or an inability to be vulnerable. The truth is, successful polygamist relationships are the result of communicating our most honest and raw emotions. This is the practice of compassionate communication. 


When you communicate with compassion, other people know you’re being genuine and feel comfortable enough to express their feelings to you in the same way. You may think you and your partners do a good job at communicating, but take a moment to reflect on both your day-to-day interactions and the last time someone in the relationship was upset.


Handling Conflict with Compassion


When a polygamist family is dealing with tension, no matter how big or small the situation is,  it can be difficult for everyone to feel heard. This is why it’s a good idea for everyone to sit down and individually share their honest feelings about what’s going on. It’s natural to want to respond immediately, but partners and sister wives need to be mindful and not rush to respond. Each individual should really take their time to understand what is being said and take the time to consider a thoughtful response. This shows that the conversation is important to you, and that you want to handle the person’s feelings with care. 


Remind each other that you are working through this as a team, so no one should go into the conversation with a “me against the world” mindset, or take things as a personal attack.


Seeking Opportunities to be Compassionate


Practicing compassionate communication isn’t limited to handling conflicts- in fact, the more you each practice it in your everyday lives, the easier it will be when dealing with conflicts as a family. 


Each person in a poly relationship has their own needs and preferences, and it takes time for partners and sister wives to learn that. In order to achieve compassionate communication, each member of the relationship needs to make an effort to understand each other and be their authentic selves. 


Practicing compassionate communication in poly relationships by helping curb jealousy, and replacing competition with respect and empathy. Even two of the most different personality types will be able to respect one another if they communicate with respect and understanding rather than judgement. 


Sister wives and partners should always try to speak highly of one another, both directly and indirectly. Finding the good in one another makes it easier to have patience with them when they need you to.


Partners would also be wise to avoid assumptions about one another. No one in the relationship is a mind reader, so if one person says or does something that the others would not do, they should not assume they know the person’s motivation behind it. Instead, respectfully ask them to explain. When treated with respect, your partner will more than likely show you the same respect in their response. 


If a compassionate communication system is not in place, and the feeling of being a team is not achieved, the relationship risks falling apart. Instead of feeling like working together is an uphill battle, face your differences head-on and ask each other what you can learn from it.


Exercises to Help


If you haven’t already, have each sister wife or partner take the love language test followed by the Myers-Briggs personality quiz. Then, read and compare your results as a group. This will help each individual learn both about their own needs and personalities as well as about each other. 


For example, if physical touch is the top love language for one partner but the very last for another, this could lead to friction and misunderstanding. Additionally, if one person’s personality is introverted, an extroverted partner may not understand why the introvert needs time to be alone or acts less social at times.


Another tactic is to practice setting boundaries. In relationships, sometimes it’s hard to say no to something, and people tend to internalize little things that hurt their feelings in an attempt to let it go, but end up just bottling their emotions up until they explode. This scenario isn’t fair to anyone involved.


In poly relationships, a lot can come up that makes partners want to shy away from standing their ground and communicating what they need. Setting good boundaries for yourself is even more important when the amount of people in your relationship increases. Try having each partner write lists of things they absolutely need in a relationship, things they would like but are willing to be flexible on, and things they absolutely would not allow. 


When doing this exercise, encourage one another to address any and every topic they desire to in their lists. Some examples can be how much one-on-one time they need, their desired sex life, living arrangements, etc. This will help each sister wife and partner understand their role in one another’s lives and each person’s boundaries. 


You and your partners are a team, and your goal is to make the relationship emotionally gratifying for everyone involved. You can choose to let your differences be your weakness, or you can choose to make them a strength. For that to happen, ideas and emotions need to be exchanged with one another. Find time to sit down and have a conversation about what a compassionate communication plan looks like for your relationship, and how you can work together to create it.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Password protected photo
Password protected photo
Password protected photo