Chris's article

For heterosexual people, there are all kinds of support groups available. From online advice groups to speed dating events, monogamous people are always one click or call away from someone who understands what they’re going through.

What about if you need a polygamy community that understands what it’s like to feel jealous of a new partner, or feel frustrated at not being able to spend time with your metamour? Fortunately, help is here, and you just need to know where to look.

That Kind of Polygamy Community

One Google query of “polygamy community” yields alarming articles about genetic disasters in secluded polygamous communities, remote ranches inhabited by polygamists, and rural areas that serve as havens for practicing polygamists.

While these areas are indeed very real, they’re not the type of polygamous communities we’ll be talking about today. We’ll be talking about online or in-person communities where the average Joe or average Jane can connect with other like-minded peers.

In-Person Polygamy Meetings

If you’re a face-to-face type of person, and you thrive on social relationships, you might want to find groups that meet regularly.

To find them, try going on events-oriented sites and typing up your city. You can also try Google by typing in “polygamy event + [Your City]” or “polygamy support + [Your City]” depending on what you’re looking for.

Broader groups like LGBTQIA+ organizations can also provide a way for you to meet other polygamists. You never know—you might also meet your new partner or sister wife through one of these events!

● meetup.com

● eventbrite.com

● groupspaces.com

Online Groups

If you want to keep things virtual, or if you want to vet people before you meet them at a physical location, you’re in luck. There are plenty of online groups where you can connect with others about the poly lifestyle.

Facebook

Check out some of these groups I discovered on the platform.

● Polygamy meetup

● Relationships Outside the Box: Polyamory and Open Relationships

● Relationship Success Secrets: Polyamory, Consensual Non-Monogamy, Freedom

● Polyamorous Dating

● Homesteading & Polygamy (polygyny)

● Biblical Christian Polygamy/Polygyny

● Polygamy Personals, Advocacy & Education

● Poly Dating & More in your 30's-50's

● …and more

These are just a few groups I found during a quick search. Your results may yield something different based on your location, and you can also add “[Your City]” to any poly group-related searches on Facebook.

Reddit

For those unfamiliar, Reddit is a forum-type social media platform where you can post comments, send messages, or post images/videos/text. Everything you post is public, but the messaging feature is private.

It’s incredibly helpful for seeking advice or making casual connections. Alternatively, there is a cheekier side of Reddit, just like any other online platform, where you may be able to strike up a dating-oriented conversation or exchange some explicit content, given that both parties are consenting.

Check out these useful groups if you want to give the platform a try.

● r/polyamory

● r/Polygamy

● r/SisterWives

● r/seekingsisterwifetlc

● r/PolygamyDiscussion

● r/TLCsisterwives

● r/polyamoryR4R

● r/nonmonogamy

● r/polyfamilies

Sister Wives

We also provide a safe, welcoming space on our site for members to connect. Use our forums section to discuss anything from how to come out as poly to what is the best music genre—any topic is fair game!

Other Sites

Here are a few more forum-type sites you can explore for information, advice, or discourse.

● polyamory.com

● polyliving.net

● polyamorysociety.org

Other Types of Support

If you’re looking for other kinds of polygamous information like podcasts, shows, or books, take a look at some of the more popular resources down below. While these may not be your typical poly community, consuming these media can help you get a better understanding of the polygamous lifestyle, its roots, and its current direction.

Podcasts

From dissecting poly love and relationships through a feminist lens to a Mormon viewpoint, there’s no shortage of great podcasts to enrich your ideas and knowledge of this lifestyle.

● Polyamory Weekly

● Unmasked

● Year of Polygamy Podcast

● Polygamy: What Love Is This?

TV Shows

Granted, the variety of shows available is limited to reality TV and harrowing docu-dramas, but they provide great insight into the lifestyle, nonetheless.

● Sister Wives

● Seeking Sister Wife

● Escaping Polygamy

● Big Love

Books

Most books that touch on polygamous subjects are autobiographies recounting women’s experiences with religious or forced plural marriage If you’re dealing with this kind of trauma, hearing others’ accounts of similar experiences may validate your feelings and help you process your emotions.

Shot in the Dark: Craigslist or Other Classifieds

Craiglist is nearly obsolete, with the rest of the Internet moving onto more advanced (and probably more secure) platforms like Facebook, OfferUp, Poshmark, etc. However, it may not hurt to post a classified looking for a support group, supportive peer, or something along those lines.

At worst, you receive an unsolicited message, and at best, you find a genuine peer who is also in a poly relationship. Who knows, they may be able to point you in the right direction when looking for a polygamy community.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

On June 6, the fourth installment of Seeking Sister Wife premiered on TLC. The first episode, titled “Who Doesn’t Like Thirds?” introduced us to two new couples, the Davises, and the Foleys.

This season, viewers will also get to catch up with some show veterans—the Merrifields and the Joneses—as they find a sister wife to join their respective families.

Different Paths to Finding a Sister Wife

When it comes to growing a plural family, no two stories are alike. During the premiere episode, we got to meet some new faces and hear about their experiences with polygamy.

The Davises on Finding a Third Sister Wife

From the teasers and all the pre-season content we read beforehand, we knew that the Davises had an unusual family dynamic.

Jennifer and April are the ones who are legally married, and they both adopted their husband Nick’s last name. However, we find out that April and Nick had been together for 14 years before meeting Jennifer through April’s work.

It has been four years since Jennifer joined the family, and now, they’re trying to find another sister wife to add to the mix. What’s more, Nick is the main caretaker of his and April’s son, while Jennifer and April work.

It’s revealed that April’s son is not actually Nick’s, but he is the father by any other definition.

The Foleys on Courting a Younger Sister Wife

Steve and his then-wife had been married for 12 years when they met Brenda and became a plural family. Since then, the first wife has left the family due to negative emotions surrounding polygamy, but Steve and Brenda are still going strong.

On the show, Steve (42) and Brenda (38) are discovering just how difficult it may get when finding a sister wife that can get along with both of them. Right now, they’re courting April, a younger woman of 21.

Steve and Brenda are hoping all works out, but we’ll have to stay tuned to Seeking Sister Wife and see whether the two women will end up getting along.

The Merrifields on Growing a Big Family

Dannielle and Garrick Merrifield are back for another season. This time, they’re determined on finding a sister wife after participating in a non-legal ceremony in Mexico with the newest member of their family, Roberta.

Although preparations were underway to bring Roberta to the US (including a divorce between Dannielle and Garrick), it seems that the new sister wife still has personal matters to deal with back home.

For now, the American couple is courting Lea, a nurse who resides in California, whom they met online. On the show’s first episode, the couple drives from Colorado to California, and they meet Lea at the airport. All goes well, but it seems Roberta is experiencing some jealousy, making the idea of a virtual call feel uncomfortable.

It’s helpful to note that Garrick feels a religious calling to start a polygamist family and become head of a large family. Fortunately, it seems that their potential sister wife Lea fully understands the responsibilities of a sister wife—so far.

The Eppses on Finding a Third Wife

Previously, the Epps family was thought to join the show, but scandals surrounding Marcus Epps may have led producers to cut the family from season 4 of Seeking Sister Wife.

While fans were excited to learn as the throuple finds a sister wife, we’ll need to wait for the next episode to see if the Epps family will be around.

When is Episode 2 of Seeking Sister Wife Airing?

All future episodes of the show will air on Mondays at 10 PM ET on TLC.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

This show will air its fourth season on June 6, at 10 p.m. ET on TLC. While fans enjoyed up to 12 episodes at most in previous seasons (Season 3), we’ll get a whopping 14 episodes this summer.

For the uninitiated, Seeking Sister Wife documents the journey of several families who are searching for another wife to join their unit. Unlike other shows that chronicle plural families who are already established, Seeking Sister Wife gives us an insider’s view into this personal, and often emotional experience for everyone involved.

In 2021, we cheered and cried alongside five families on their dating quests and through their plural family struggles. Come June, we’ll meet some new faces and welcome old ones.

Who Will Be in the New Season?

From international sister wife candidates to wives who are married to each other, Season 4 of Seeking Sister Wife is sure to have some thrilling surprises in store.

Family 1: The Foleys

No stranger to the polygamist lifestyle, Steve and Brenda are taking the plunge into dating once again. In Season 4, fans will get to see how the couple handles courting a younger sister wife.

Family 2: The Davises

Who else will we meet this coming season? Nick, April, and Jennifer Davis who have somewhat an unorthodox arrangement, at least relative to the plural lifestyle. Jennifer and April are legally married, but they are both wives to Nick, whose last name they share.

Viewers will accompany the throuple as they try to find another sister wife to join their family.

Family 3: The Eppses

The last new group we’ll meet is family Marcus, Taryn, and India Epps. With two sister wives already in the household, the family decides to search for a third wife. Together, we’ll bear witness to their ups and downs in wooing a potential sister wife.

Family 4: The Merrifields

Seeking Sister Wife veterans Garrick and Danielle Merrifield will be giving us updates on their love life this summer. Last we saw them in Season 3, they were ecstatic about meeting and welcoming Roberta, a woman from Brazil, into their lives.

The married couple even divorced to grant Roberta legal status to remain in the U.S. In the new season, we’ll witness how the newlyweds are faring with their current arrangement.

Family 5: The Joneses

Sidian and Tosha Jones are also familiar faces we’ll be glad to see on our screens again. This summer, we’ll join them as they try to navigate their three-person household alongside international sister wife candidate Arielle from the Philippines.

Who Will Not Be Joining the New Season

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are some families who won’t get any screentime this upcoming season.

Family 1: The Snowdens

In season 2 and beyond the show, Dimitri and Ashley Snowden exhibited how a plural family experiences similar heartbreaks, personal issues, and even scandals, just like any other family.

Ashley and Dimitri dated and welcomed Vanessa into their family after saying goodbye to Joselyn, another potential sister wife, but it was revealed that Vanessa quickly left the household after just a few months of marriage.

Family 2: The Winders

Another family, the Winders, won’t be back this upcoming season, citing that the “...show is taking a different path” as the reason why via an Instagram post. Tami, Sophie, and Colton Winder joined the show in season 2, and fans fell in love with their down-to-earth personalities and strong family dynamics.

In particular, viewers appreciated how emotionally mature and respectful everyone in the household was, especially since there are two children in the mix.

Other Polygamy Shows Like Seeking Sister Wife

Although we have a few weeks until the season premiere of Seeking Sister Wife, there may be similar polygamy shows you need to catch up on.

Sister Wives (2010-Present)

The golden child of polygamy shows, Sister Wives has 16 seasons you can binge-watch until June. It follows the lives of Kody Brown and sister wives Christine, Meri, Robyn, and Janelle—plus their 18 children.

Spoiler alert: Sister wife Christine leaves Kody in 2021, and only Season 17 can reveal whether or not the other sister wives follow suit.

My Five Wives (2013-2014)

Similar to Sister Wives, this show portrays a family practicing polygyny. In this family, there are five sister wives, one husband, and 25 children to get to know. There were two seasons overall.

Polygamy, USA (2013)

This one-part series from National Geographic showcases three polygamous families who live in Centennial Park, a Mormon headquarter in Arizona. It’s a fascinating series that acknowledges the challenges of living in the Centennial Park Group as a polygamist.

Escaping Polygamy (2014-2019)

If you’re curious about how people born into polygamy who do not want to stay polygamous leave the community, try watching Escaping Polygamy. This series follows the story of two sisters born into polygamy who end up leaving and helping others who wish to leave, too.

Three Wives, One Husband (2014-2017)

Similar to Escaping Polygamy, this docuseries demystifies an often secret side of polygamy. It depicts the lives of 15 Mormon families living in Utah and how their unique arrangements affect their quality of life.

In other words, Seeking Sister Wife opens a window into modern polygamous lifestyles, but Three Wives, One Husband provides insight into the religious reasons behind polygamy. It’s also an insider’s look into the courting process for a sister wife and it reveals how large, polygamous families operate day-to-day.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

In many ways, passing as straight and monogamous is a blessing in disguise. At best, this freedom can help you avoid painfully awkward conversations or unjustified termination at worst.

Unfortunately, most states in the US don’t provide legal protection to polyamorists, no matter their relationship arrangement. This means ethically non-monogamous employees can get fired or denied housing and insurance due to their unconventional familial structures.

Less serious—but equally emotionally and mentally damaging—consequences of coming out at work are being ostracized by coworkers and being perceived through a prejudiced lens without ever getting to tell your story.

Should you keep your poly status a secret?

To be fair, every workplace is different. Some are incredibly supportive and open-minded, while others are as conservative and hostile as they come. To answer the question of whether or not to come out in the workplace as poly, my advice is to weigh your risks.

What is your workplace culture like?

Not everyone is lucky enough to work in a progressive, inclusive environment. The best that many polyamorous folks can hope for is tolerant coworkers and employers who don’t insist on prying into their personal lives.

When you’re deciding if, when, or how to come out in your workplace, your company culture is a huge factor. Some industries are breeding grounds for gossip, and even if you disclose your identity to just one person, your entire team may become privy to your life story.

On the other hand, there are workplaces that are actively building an accepting work culture. These organizations instill the value of trust, inclusivity, and diversity. In this environment, you may feel safe sharing more personal details with colleagues.

Do you have a high chance of being fired if you come out?

If your answer is yes, the most practical course of action is to remain ambiguous or straight-passing. Many poly folks refer to their significant others as “partner” so as not to let it slip that they may have a spouse and a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.

Being fired is most likely your biggest concern when deciding whether or not to come out as polyamorous. It’s an injustice, and it shouldn’t be a factor in your coming out story, but it is the reality for many people.

Risks of coming out as polyamorous at work

People who identify as LGBTQIADP+ carry an emotional burden when they live and work in places that are not sympathetic to non-normative individuals.

● Being terminated from your position

● Gossip behind your back

● Being seen in a negative light

● Being passed over for career advancements and discrimination

Benefits of coming out as polyamorous at work

On the bright side, representing your full self can bring about positive changes for you and others.

● Living your truth

● Educating others

● Emotional release from concealing a large part of your identity

● Gain support from colleagues

● Encourage others who are closeted

● Build an inclusive company culture

The pros and cons are not mutually exclusive, and you may find that your coming out at work is a rollercoaster of emotions and social maneuvering. In the end though, if you decide to come out, you’ll be living with your whole identity on display—a freeing feeling, indeed.

However, you do not have to share your personal life or relationship status with anyone (especially at work)  if you do not want to. Your coming out is your choice, and you do not have to put your employment and financial stability in jeopardy to feel like you are being a poly ally or doing your part in breaking down polyamory stereotypes.

Polyamorous Celebrities

By contrast, many celebrities come out as LGBTDIADP+ to utilize their large and public platform. They put their relative privilege to use and mobilize allies to bring polyamory to the mainstream, including the workplace for the average person.

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

This is perhaps the most famous couple who is open about their non-monogamous relationship. Their daughter, Willow Smith, also came out as polyamorous in 2021. Willow is regarded as a Gen Z idol, partly thanks to her frank and outspoken personality, so it’s no surprise that she’s very vocal about this aspect of her identity.

Indya Moore

Indya is an American model-actor known for her role as Angel in the TV series Pose, a drama that explores the LGBTQ subculture ballroom scene in the late ‘80s and ‘90s. Indya is trans, non-binary, and polyamorous, but most of all, she’s a shining example of what it means to be your genuine self.

Bella Thorne

Bella got her start in the entertainment industry on The Disney Channel in 2010, and she came out as bisexual in 2016. In 2019, she announced that she identifies as pansexual and has since been an open book about her poly experiences.

Baron Vaughn

Baron is an actor-comedian with a long list of noteworthy works, including a supporting role in the comedy series Grace and Frankie. He’s also been a guest on podcast, radio show, and YouTube show episodes that discuss polyamory.

Deciding whether to come out to colleagues or not

Not being out as a polyamorist can feel like lying by omission. Beyond that, it can create some painful situations where one partner is out and the other is not, making the out partner feel like an immoral secret.

The bottom line is this: you choose what to share with coworkers and when, if ever. You are under no obligation to be anything more than cordial workmates, especially if your livelihood is at risk around the topic of polyamory. 

Until then, we can create changes in other ways like gently correcting coworkers when they express a blatant misconception about poly culture or sending reassuring messages to polyamorists online who have no support system. In the end, the only approval and acceptance you need is the one that comes from you.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc