Chris's article

American society is heavily steeped in traditional marriage and the concept of a ‘nuclear family.’ This is odd when considering the number of unique families far outweighs the number of what is perceived as ‘normal’ families. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Many unique families were made possible by the dedication of admirable individuals that didn’t have to take on the responsibility of raising someone else’s child. Even so, some people that have had the great fortune of finding a good marriage, having healthy children, and finding decent work like to pretend they have accomplished moral superiority instead of feeling appreciation and humility. Humility is too rare, unfortunately. These folks will often gladly let you know your family is less worthy because it’s ‘flawed’ or looks different, or you’ll at least see this through their fake smiles. There’s a beautiful irony in this that polygamous and polyamorous people can embrace. While struggling is never fun, and inventing your own family based on your true self isn’t easy, it provides insight and enlightenment that those who’ve had it too easy will never understand. Consider these few things next time you feel judged, and embrace the compassion and pity you feel for the poor souls that have no idea who they really are.

Let’s start with a woman that wants to be a sister wife. Even as she steps into the complicated world of polygamy dating, which is enough pressure alone, she might have family and friends turning their backs on her. She might have to face most of the journey to find her polygamist family alone. That means no phone calls with girlfriends to talk about her struggles, no family to show her unconditional support, possibly no community around her where she can be herself and take time to let everything go. When you’ve decided to embrace who you really are, and play by your own rules, it might mean losing everything before gaining all of who you are. It’s a journey that breaks a lot of people. Finding others like yourself will ease the struggle and help make sure you stay on your correct path. Loneliness can be overwhelming and lead to compromises that shouldn’t be made. Your new community doesn’t have to be other women that are, or want to be, sister wives. People that choose to live outside of societal ‘norms’ can all help each other. The friendships you build along the way can be deeper and more enduring than you imagined possible. 

A man that wants to be a polygamist husband faces particularly harsh judgment from people that oppose the idea. Other men often stay away from a man that is looking for sister wives. Building a polygamist family is a concept they’re scared of. Women may accuse a man seeking sister wives of being a misogynist even if he’s a huge supporter of feminism. A few bad apples have painted polygamy in a bad light and a polygamist man will be all too aware of the negative views out there. Without sounding like polygamists should be too apologetic about people in the past they don’t even know, a little public good goes a long way. Volunteering in your community, helping neighbors every chance you get, sacrificing your Thanksgiving dinner to go work at a soup kitchen, etc… This is not to pay any kind of penance. This is to challenge the haters. Give them something to talk about. As you build your family the ability to add even more good to the world will grow with it. Leading by example is a concept that’s been lost on too many men today, and it’s a concept polygamous men will benefit from. Your future sister wives will admire you for it and your community will discover your family is invaluable to them. 

While polygamous families may often (not always) stick to a few traditional concepts sexually, polyamorous families or groups introduce a vast array of possibilities. Polyamorous people face scrutiny from a public that believes they pose a threat to marriage as we know it. This is hilarious when considering a ‘monogamous’ heterosexual can be on their fifth marriage and still speak out against polyamorous relationships. It’s as though people hate the idea of everyone not being under legal constraints. Preposterous! Right? The good news is that polyamory is becoming more common and it’s finding inclusion with the LGBTQ+ community. Pride today has far more to do with embracing yourself for exactly who you are (homo or not), without shame, and with no respect for the judgment of others. Parades may not be your thing, but being part of a community that promotes diversity will open your eyes to beauty and life (and fun) you won’t soon forget. 

There’s a strange tendency in humans to tear others down when they seem happier than us. The same oddity arises when we see someone that’s different from us. We may never understand why, but it must stem from a sort of survival mechanism that belongs back in the stone age. The choice to be your unique self will not be easy. Once you start crossing boundaries the world has set around you the backlash will be quick. Being prepared mentally and spiritually for your journey will make it a beautiful time in your life. As long as you know you’re being true to yourself, don’t give in to the pressures people will gladly put on you. It’s your life and your love. The people you share yourself with, and how much you want to share, is up to you. The relationships you want to invest in are your choice. Don’t hand your happiness off to others that have no real interest beyond securing their own. 

Happy Independence Day! Celebrate it your way.

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

While polygamy is a form of polyamory it suggests a more committed relationship involving multiple people. This is not to say that a polyamorous family or group isn’t committed to each other and practicing fidelity, nor is it to say polygamy requires your family or group to be in a closed situation. Your relationships and standards are yours to determine and the descriptor you choose for your relationship style is your business. For the sake of this article I’m using an assumption that polygamy and polygamy dating have a preference and direction toward a closed group or family and long term commitments. How does it work with more than two people building a life? Where does sex fit in? What are the limitations? How can you be sure nobody feels like a third wheel? 

It’s easy to pretend everyone in a plural relationship plays an equal role. The truth is that each person adds a unique element and their roles can be stronger or more passive depending on their preferences for involvement. When a man is looking for a sister wife to join his family he shouldn’t shy away from discussing what roles are needed in the family. This is not to coerce a woman into a family life that doesn’t suit her, rather it’s to be transparent about motivations and begin a discussion about if this family is right for her. Sexual persuasions also play a role in polygamy dating. A bisexual woman with an intent to be sexually involved with her sister wives cannot pretend to be happy with a fully heterosexual family. The first step to long term family or poly group success is to make sure everyone is on the same page. 

A refreshing idea polygamous women can enjoy is less pressure to have kids, or not. A woman that wants to be a sister wife, but cannot imagine going through a pregnancy, doesn’t have to feel she’s taking anything away from a husband that wants kids. Beyond having kids is raising them. A sister wife that doesn’t want to raise kids doesn’t have to live under the same roof with any kids from her sister wives. Removing the idea that a woman’s role is to have and raise kids for her husband is wonderfully liberating for females. Relationships based on love rather than obligations will produce healthier outcomes for everyone involved. 

Even with love at the core of your relationship, obligations are unavoidable. Beware of people that only want to be involved with your polygamous family on their own terms. With all this talk of individuals being able to live more honestly and be their true selves it’s easy for the concepts to be interpreted the wrong way. If a polygamist man finds a potential sister wife that makes it clear she only wants to sleep with him, he has a problem on his hands. Living under her own roof and even keeping mostly to herself can be acceptable, but it will require discussion with all his sister wives as to how much involvement (or lack of) they’re comfortable with. At what point is she not a sister wife, but just a mistress? Such boundaries need to be discussed and agreed upon. 

Boundaries can be tough. Whether you’re a sister wife meeting a new potential sister wife or man for your family, or a man that’s courting potential sister wives or men, you have to know and respect boundaries. If you feel any boundaries are too strict you have to discuss it. Never break a boundary your family believes you’ve agreed to because you don’t like it. If your feelings are within reason, chances are the limitations in place can be adjusted. Don’t risk it all because you don’t have the guts to reveal your feelings to your lovers. The same goes for everyone in the family. If you’re feeling something isn’t right for you, bring it up! 

Any time more than two people are involved there is a risk of someone feeling like a third wheel. There are situations where this can’t be avoided so a certain level of acceptance is a must. If, however, a lover feels this way most of the time it needs to be addressed. It can be difficult to detect someone else is feeling like a third wheel. You’re having fun, they’re trying to keep a good face up, everyone is acting like everything is fine because nobody wants to ruin the day. Pay attention to your behavior and communication. Are you being intentionally inclusive? Are you taking turns in the front and back seat? Is an unreasonable amount of conversation being directed to only one partner? Are there unresolved issues between any partners you can help settle? A polygamist family or poly group has unique challenges because multiple hearts and minds are involved. Dividing your attention sufficiently between all of your lovers will avoid heartache none of you want to cause. This includes sexual attention and being supportive of your lovers exploring their sexual desires. Nothing can make someone feel like a third wheel quicker than a genuine part of them being ignored or even ostracized. 

Polygamy dating and life can be complicated if you let it. It’s a form of polyamory that typically adheres to more traditions than polyamorous groups choose to follow. Open minds, open hearts, and open arms along with open communication will help any polygamous group find their way to a joyous life together. Respecting tradition is a good thing but keep in mind the importance of allowing your lovers to evolve as well. The only rules that matter are the rules you and your family decide on in order to grow together. Never neglect to offer your contributions to the discussion, and never make any partners feel their contribution is unwanted or unacceptable. The love and acceptance you foster among your lovers needs to be nurtured so it can keep growing. Your love, life, and sex can endlessly evolve for the better and your family can become an example for others to follow. Positive role models in the polygamy world will encourage continued growth and acceptance. With this, even more people will be willing to consider such a rewarding way of life. 

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

The passing of Bernie McGee came as a shock to the world of polygamy. His infectious smile is going to be sorely missed by numerous family, friends, and fans of his. Life can end so suddenly, and in too many unexpected ways. Thoughts of our own mortality, and that of our loved ones, are unavoidable in times like this. The grieving process is different for every individual and comes with different levels of severity depending on how close you are to someone that has passed away. When death touches your own family it can seem impossible to ever recover. There is no magic formula to mend your broken heart but there are ways polygamous and polyamorous people can work together to honor those that are lost while moving forward into their new reality. 

It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the most important things to provide each other is space. Everyone grieves in different ways and everyone needs to feel they have the space necessary for their unwanted journey. People can be fully available for each other without being smothering. Check in and show plenty of love because in times like this, actions truly speak louder than words. In fact, people may not even know how to put their grief into words and attempting to do so might feel like the pain is being trivialized. Never pretend to know what anyone needs to do next, or how they must feel. Offer love and support, and an ear to listen, only.  

Sister wives especially need to make themselves available for each other after the passing of a husband. They’ll need time and support from each other to determine how the family can best move forward. Eventually, they might have the difficult choice to make between finding a new polygamous man to join their family or continuing without a husband. Finding a group of sister wives that form an amazing family takes years. The women that have worked hard to maintain the family don’t have to see it end when the patriarch passes away. Together, they can work through the loss and reinvent a beautiful future with full honor being given to their deceased husband, with, or without a new one. The choice for sister wives to find a new patriarch should never be considered disrespectful. 

Don’t be afraid to seek help from a counselor that is supportive of your polygamist or polyamorous family or group. There may be issues you feel were unresolved, or you simply don’t want to share with your other partners. Never forget that your grief belongs to only you. Working through it in the healthiest possible way will result in the ability to think about the one you lost without an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. Not being able to think about the lover you lost only prolongs your grieving process.  

Embrace the darkness. That empty feeling I just mentioned is very real and you cannot avoid it. Let yourself cry, let yourself sleep too much, draw the curtains and sit alone in your dark room. Don’t fight your feelings. Do not embrace drugs or alcohol as coping mechanisms. That’s a darkness that may never go away if you let it in. Don’t forget about balance either. You can’t pretend the world around you doesn’t exist and you can’t neglect your other partners or sister wives. Sit in dark rooms embracing each other if you must. Time will heal, but the truth is, the scars never go away. You have to learn to live with them. That’s actually a good thing because they help keep your memories alive. 

At some point, most likely, you and your partners will face re-entering the world of polyamorous or polygamous dating. Finding a new sister wife when one has passed might bring about guilty feelings but don’t let that stop you. It’s not guilt. It’s only the essence of a loss and it’s okay. Your polyamorous lover, sister wife, or polygamous husband that has passed does not want you to spend the rest of your life grieving. There are plenty of others out there that have experienced a loss as well. You may find a whole new kind of love with them, and they may bring the new life your family or group needs to forge ahead.

Death is so final. Facing death is unavoidably devastating when it takes a piece of you. The hopelessness, emptiness, anger, longing, sadness, and paralyzed feeling will come and you have to be a little tough to get through it. You will never be the same. Polygamous and polyamorous people have the benefit of having each other to help. Your surviving lovers or family members can form even stronger bonds in honor of your mutual loss. Be patient with yourself, and your lovers, husbands, or wives, and hang onto all the best memories. My respects to Bernie McGee and his family. May he rest in peace.   

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

Saturday June 15, 2019 the Shocking news came out that Bernie McGee from Seeking Sister Wife has passed. This is a Complete Shock to us and fans of the show. His Wife Paige McGee Confirmed the sad news. The Facebook admin for the Seeking Sister Wife Group also shared this sad news with everyone. Most of the info so far has came from his wife Paige McGee.

The Death of Bernie McGee

The post in the Facebook Group said "It was just confirmed personally that with a sad and heavy heart Bernie McGee, Paige's love of her life, has passed away :( please send love and prayers to their family at this time." The fans wanted to know more, but there was just not a lot of information out yet.


What happened to Bernie McGee

From what we know about Bernie's death, he was riding his bicycle trying to lose a little weight and have over all better health.

His wife Page McGee, which was also on the Seeking Sister Wife show posted the post below.

If you are able to read it, you will see that the post shows that Bernie was Riding his Bike. He Called his wife and told her he didn't feel very good. Paige left to go pick him up, but by the time she arrived it was already too late. According to the coroner, it was a heat stroke and heart attack that caused him to pass away. This is very sad news for all of us and his fans, and was very unexpected.

Bernie and Paige McGee have two sons that were also on TLC's Seeking Sister Wife. The McGee's tried their hand at polygamy dating on the show but it did not work out and they did not end up in a polygamist relationship.

It is unknown if they were still looking for polygamy.

Bernie and Paige were married a long time before attempting to add a third to their relationship on television.


TLC has Not yet announced anything about a new season of Seeking Sister Wife. However the Brown family was spotted with cameras and seemed to be working on a new season of Sister Wives.

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

There are plenty of universal do’s and don’ts when it comes to relationships and marriages. Honoring commitments, being supportive, contributing to the overall well-being, and living honestly are things everyone should do with, or even without, a relationship. Polygamy comes with its own unique dos and don’ts, any polyamorous situation does. Involving more than two people in a relationship will lead to interesting situations and solutions that work for some, but not others. The list of specific do’s and don’ts will differ depending on the standards set within a relationship, but here are some basic helpful concepts to keep in mind.  

Polygamous men looking for a sister wife should avoid making assumptions about what a woman wanting to be a sister wife is looking for. Polygamist families come in many shapes and sizes and finding a family that actually suits a sister wife is not cut and dried. Polygamy dating can be complicated. Don’t jump into an exciting new prospect blindly and end up getting people hurt. Do keep an open mind while dating and consider how a sister wife with different ideas might be able to fit in your family or situation. Perfect matches are rare, but being somewhere in the same range is important. 

Women looking to explore polygamy or become a sister wife also can’t assume the men she’s meeting have the same ideas. A polygamist family with very traditional (and very heterosexual) values will never work for a bisexual woman that wants to be a sister wife. She’d be wasting her time, or ruining her long term happiness, joining such a family. Don’t compromise your real desires just to have a relationship. Do be honest about what you’re looking for from the beginning. A handsome face and lovely family are attractive, but a lifetime of denying your true self will lead to self destruction, or worse. Seek to be a sister wife with long term happiness in mind, never short term satisfaction. 

Polyamorous people inevitably face questions about sexuality at some point in their lives because polygamist and polyamorous families, or groups, naturally involve more than one person of the same gender. Whether the questions about sexuality are within you, or coming from the outside world, it’s best to handle them with grace, never with fear. Don’t let anyone inside, or outside, of your relationship limit your right to explore your sexuality. Don’t let anyone pressure you to answer a question about your sexuality you’re not prepared to answer. Be honest with yourself and unafraid of your true self. Maintaining confidence and protecting your right to privacy will ensure personal control over your journey. Just make sure your family, or everyone in your poly relationship, is on the journey with you. 

Heterosexual people in the polygamy dating or polyamorous world may never face sexual feelings toward the same sex. Consider yourself lucky to have such natural confidence in your sexuality, but never forget the importance of supporting others that are sorting out their sexual desires. This means not just your lovers, but anyone in your life that may be struggling to know themselves better. A little support goes a long way. 

Anyone in a so-called ‘alternative relationship’ will face adversity. This adversity is usually subtle and easy to ignore but in reality can escalate even to life threatening levels. ‘Life threatening’ does not only refer to physical harm. Polygamist families can be targets of a person eager to hurt others in order to achieve moral superiority in their own minds, and in the public eye. Your well-being is of no concern to them. Solidarity among polygamists and ployamorous people can help outsiders have a better understanding, and respect, for families that look different from theirs. Do indulge in the life you create but don’t forget about harsh realities. If you see a chance to help the poly community, do it. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, but always be prepared to handle some blowback. 

Disagreements about the definition of polygamy and polyamory are far too common even within both communities. Many polyamorous people refuse to entertain the idea of polygamy being a form of polyamory, and many polygamous people refuse to embrace their position in the field of polyamory. This is a huge problem because it’s divisive and weakens every valid definition of intimate relationships involving more than two people. Don’t dismiss another family or group’s love for each other because it’s practiced in different ways than yours. Quite frankly, it’s pure arrogance for any poly people to judge the relationship choices of others. You can’t ask for the world to be permissive of your non-conformity while insisting the unique lives of others are invalid or wrong. Diversity makes the world a better, and happier, place. Do embrace it!

People and relationships are always evolving. Your polygamist family today might look very different in five years. Your polyamorous group might add three people and lose one in years to come. Sometimes a sister wife decides she’s ready to move on. Sometime’s a polyamorous person meets someone they simply can’t share with anyone else. Allowing for these changes in your relationships and learning to support each other is so important. Nobody wants to hurt anyone, but sometimes an unavoidable choice you have to make is going to hurt. People can still love each other when their relationship dynamics change. Don’t hold each other back. If the relationship has to end, help each other forward and hang onto the memories you’ve built. If it has to change, embrace the changes. 

Even if nobody is considering leaving a relationship, at times dynamics can ostracize someone within it. Affections can ebb and flow so it’s important to pay attention, intentionally, to all of your partners. A polygamist man needs to ensure all his sister wives have his affection. A polyamorous group has to make sure everyone involved feels like they belong. Never team up against a sister wife or poly partner. If anything like that feels necessary the relationship has already gone sour. Rather than stooping to the level of joining together to attack someone you love, sit and talk about what needs to happen to resolve your grievances. Don’t ever lay the amount of pain on a loved one that jointly scheming against them will cause. 

Plenty of polyamorous people out there will tell you they have no interest in joining a group or family. They only wish to date and have minimal commitments. Listen to them. Don’t try to change them. Don’t assume you or your group might change their minds. Enjoy them all you’d like, but respect their request for autonomy and give them no caveats. If you insist, be prepared to get hurt, but it’s always better to embrace and encourage honesty.     

The range of possibilities on the poly spectrum is incredible. Options really are endless but so are opportunities to get hurt, or hurt someone else. With polygamy and polyamory only recently becoming truly mainstream many of us aren’t certain what exactly the rules are yet. On top of that, the rules are different depending on where you fall on the spectrum. Even among different polygamist families the rules run a gamit. Polygamy dating and polyamorous dating are exciting, and if approached responsibly can lead to unimaginably happy lives for so many people. If everyone on the poly spectrum can agree to some basic standards, and support each other across the spectrum, we stand to lead the world into a better future for everyone.   

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

Life throws new things at you constantly. Some good, some bad, but often surprises you’d never expect. Handling excitement with a little restraint, and disappointment with grace, is an art form people must learn if they want to be happy as they grow older. One of the most tempering factors a person can trust is to be surrounded by people that love them. Polygamous families or groups are incredibly fortunate to be inundated with multiple sources of love. Plenty of shoulders to lean on, people to share affection with, or even minds to pick for advice means the support a polygamist is privy to has them far ahead in the game of life. Maybe polygamy faces so much scrutiny because non-polygamists know this and resent it?

When a man is looking for a sister wife, or a woman is looking to date a polygamist, they are far less limited in options than the average monogamous person. If a woman is interested in a man that already has a wife it doesn’t mean they cannot explore their feelings together. If a woman is with a man already she maintains the option to explore polyandry. Polygamy allows people in relationships more control of their destiny together. Feelings of resentment are easier to avoid because the level of honesty involved, and the ability to set your own unique rules, keeps your love growing and evolving together. The arbitrary limitations of typical monogamous relationships aren’t there to force polygamists into boxes that feel like traps.

While polygamy is essentially a form of polyamory they differ in some key factors. Polyamory can often mean a complete absence of commitment and no desire for any long term relationships. People interested in polygamy dating are looking for long term relationships, and eventually devotion to a group or family. While polyamory certainly also has its perks, the fidelity still inherent in polygamy brings the comfort of a more traditional family life and love into the equation. This may be something some people don’t want, but there is no denying the benefits that are gained from a loving home. 

Day to day life in a family with multiple adults is a glaring bonus. Sharing household responsibilities and financial burdens among five grown-ups is a lot easier than tackling life on your own, or with just one partner. The loss of one job in a household with four other sources of income can be almost unnoticeable for many polygamist families. This isn’t necessarily untrue for polyamorous people, so it may be a perk many of them also enjoy, however, polygamous groups tend to have a more ‘all-in’ attitude. Polyamory often involves a couple only dating others with no desire for anything long term, or an individual remaining single and only ever dating with no strings attached. Polygamy is about building a household, or at least a group, with intentions of staying together until the end. Polygamy is arguably a better choice because it offers permanence, and the stability of knowing you won’t be left out in the cold when life throws a curve-ball. 

The best times for a polygamist group or family are, of course, when everything is going well. Dinner tables surrounded by people that are committed to each others happiness. Holidays with a house full of just your family celebrating the life and joy you share. The joy on the face of a new sister wife being welcomed into the family. A life so full of real bliss results in good things, and good things lead to more good things. The access to so much love and support polygamy offers means everyone involved will have the ability to exponentially produce more good. Polygamy can literally help people make the world a better place!

It’s not always easy to live our best lives. Negativity can build up so easily and people sometimes can’t find their way back to happiness. Through no fault of your own, the world can cave in so hard there is no way to recover. The quality of life polygamy provides can stop the world from caving in and draw out the negativity before it digs too deep. Beyond the day to day fun polygamists enjoy, and the freedom to live as you choose, are some very real advantages that protect you inside and out. Even if you’ve always leaned more into polyamory, you shouldn’t ignore the possibility that polygamy could answer any dilemmas you’re struggling with. Polygamous love can be expressed in many shapes and forms and you won’t regret finding how you can fit in. Building a family or group based on a deep love for one another lifts you up and supports living your best life, and anything helping keep your life 100% is a beautiful thing.

Published By: Christopher Alesich

Matchmakers, Inc:

Password protected photo
Password protected photo
Password protected photo