Chris's article

It’s no secret that Kody Brown and his four wives - Meri, Christine, Janelle, and Robyn - had a lot to say about polygamy at the beginning of their public journey. When their memoir, titled Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage was published in May 2013, it helped establish their credibility as modern-day polygamists.

In it, each woman recounts her experience with becoming a sister wife to her shared husband Kody Brown. Although Kody dominates much of the discourse (and the chapters) in the book, it’s still a worthwhile read for people who are not familiar with the Brown family, polygamy, or plural marriage.

It’s a book that provides an insider’s view into the family’s struggles with the polygamist lifestyle, namely financial struggles, jealousy, stereotypes, and co-parenting.

Becoming a sister wife

The book kicks off with Meri and Kody’s love story where the family’s story began. Both Meri and Kody were raised as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS).

We find out that it was Kody’s Mom who explained the idea of celestial plural marriage to Kody when he was just 14 years old. Kody also makes a distinction between mainstream LDS and their sect of Mormonism—plural marriage is not possible in the former.

Kody and Meri meet at a Mormon church after Kody’s parents were excommunicated from their LDS church, and the rest is history.

Beyond Meri and Kody, we also get a glimpse into Christine, Janelle, and Robyn’s lives before they become sister wives to Kody. Their chapters introduce us to their love stories and to their personal stories not just as sister wives but as individual women navigating this confusing world.

Breaking stereotypes

Kody and his wives are part of the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB), which is a different sect of FLDS. The show’s success in portraying the process of becoming a sister wife has allowed ethical polygamists to reclaim this title without being called degrading names.

Addressing jealousy

Another beautiful part about this book is that it depicts the wives’ feelings in a genuine way, even if it is limited. Sometimes this authenticity is dulled on screen, but in the book, we get to take in each wife’s experiences without the TV editing.

It seems that jealousy is the main culprit in most of the household spats—a refreshing and comforting fact if you are reading the book as a new sister wife who is coping with the same feelings.

Throughout the show’s many seasons, jealousy constantly drives conflict between Kody and the wives.

It’s caused fights between the wives, between Kody and the wives, and between Kody and the children. Jealousy (to some degree) even brought Kody and Christine’s 25-year-old marriage to an end.

The moral of the story may be to never sweep jealousy and other uncomfortable feelings under the rug. Instead, work through them as a group and as individuals as much as possible; if your plural family is in it for the long run, establishing a healthy line of communication should be a priority.

Pulling back the curtains on the sister wives’ relationships

One surprising aspect of the book is that it lets fans know how little time the families actually spend with one another. Excluding holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions, it seems that the wives and their children are rarely interacting every day.

Hence, it’s difficult to believe the wives when they claim that the advantages of plural marriage clearly outweigh the disadvantages when the wives go into little detail about these benefits. Nevertheless, it’s clear that every wife is committed to being the best mother she can be, and that their children’s well-being is their top priority at all times even when they all butt heads.

No religious or spiritual aspect

Perhaps in an effort not to alienate others or to reduce the risk of being misquoted, the book does not delve deep into the religious or spiritual reasons behind the family’s lifestyle. Sure, we get the same story from Kody about how he instantly felt drawn to the idea of celestial plural marriage because of his upbringing, but that’s about it.

Neither Kody nor any of the sister wives give us a deeper understanding of their motives behind being a husband or becoming a sister wife, respectively.

In my opinion, this omission is where the book misses the mark. If the premise of the book is to do a deep dive about becoming a sister wife and the ins and outs of plural marriage, then the foundation needs to be there—the why behind everything.

Is it a biological desire to father/mother children? Is it an indescribable spiritual calling to be part of a plural family? Is it a religious obligation? I hope that in the future, the Brown family can elaborate in another memoir if they write one.

Moreover, the Brown clan fails to clearly explain their religious sect and why it deviated from FLDS. For people new to the show or to Mormon sects, this ambiguity may be a real turnoff from the memoir.

Lack of personality and details

Another common gripe I share about the book is that the information is a little repetitive and too generic. The wives share their opinion on one thing, and Kody confirms the information or vice versa.

I understand that it would be very difficult to fit everything into one memoir, but it would be amazing to witness candid moments in the household with lots of specific details from each sister wife. I also understand that the book is more of an introduction to the show, which is why my complaints should not be taken to heart.

Final verdict

If you want to hear the (short) story about how Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn became a sister wife, then this book is a nice read. It repeats much of the information from the show with slightly more detail, although it leaves you wanting more personality and more raw emotion from the authors, particularly about the nitty-gritty of living in a plural family and why the sister wives are in the plural marriage.

Frankly, if you’re looking for an in-depth look at a polygamist family and the not-so-pretty details involved in the daily life of a sister wife, this book may not be what you’re looking for.

Be that as it may, it’s an interesting read if you prefer to learn more about the Browns instead of watching the television series in full. My general impression is that the wives do the best they can for their children, despite all the challenges that come with polygamy.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Online poly dating is a tricky digital landscape to navigate. You might spend hours researching how to approach a potential sister wife, let alone a couple that is on a search to find a sister wife. The best advice we can give is to be yourself, remember the best safety and polite practices when online dating, and don’t be afraid to make the first move.

You won’t get anywhere without pushing yourself even just a little bit out of your comfort zone, and the worst that can happen is you don’t get a reply back. The only thing holding you back may be the idea that every single interaction has to be perfect, and frankly, that’s just not realistic.

Be yourself

In finding a sister wife, you must be honest not just with yourself but with others.

● Have an accurate, recent profile photo

● Clearly state what you want out of this dating service (i.e. “Finding a sister wife”)

● Share hobbies and interests

Be bold, but don’t be pushy

Our dating service allows you to message other profiles privately, and you can also invite multiple people to a group chat. The group feature can help ease some nerve-wracking pressure if you’re new to dating or if you don’t want to pressure someone into a one-on-one conversation.

When you initiate a meaningful conversation, others may be more likely to trust your profile, too. You’re establishing yourself as a genuine, real person (i.e., not a bot or fake profile), by asking others about their interests and hobbies.

What’s not attractive is spamming someone with messages if they don’t respond within hours or days! The best case scenario is that the other person is just extremely busy, and the worst case scenario is they’re not interested.

Don’t worry—the right person will respond, so don’t go to extreme measures just yet. We also alert you when a potential sister wife who matches your profile and interest signs up for our service.

Be yourself, but don’t be too open with personal information

We do our best to eliminate fake profiles to help you avoid romance scams, but unfortunately, scammers are using new ways to bypass our human-powered efforts and thwart your efforts in finding a sister wife.

We continuously weed out bogus profiles, but it’s always a good idea to be safe online whether you’re on a dating service or not.

● Never reveal information that can lead to your physical location

● Never share information that gives someone access to your bank account or credit cards

● Never tell anyone where you work before vetting them

Be vulnerable, but trust your gut

Dating can make us feel euphoric with feel-good brain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin rushing through us. Unfortunately, these feelings can overshadow the red flags that others may be showing.

● Is the other person overly flattering?

● Do they conceal information about themselves, but always ask questions about you?

● Do their stories add up?

Lies big and small

If you consistently catch someone in a lie—no matter how small—it may be a tell-tale sign that they’re not a mature person. Worst case scenario is they’re not actually on the dating site to look for a legitimate relationship.

Asking for money

Why would anybody ask for money on a dating site, you ask? To conduct a romance scam! Never send money online to someone you don’t know, no matter how urgent they make try to make it seem.

Most suspicious are profiles that ask you to send money overseas through wire transfers or gift cards.

Wanting to meet within days of first contact

If somebody confesses their love within three days of meeting you, you’re right to feel skeptical. Our dating service allows you to video call other members to make it easier to find a sister wife who is authentic and honest, helping filter out fakes that may be after your money or targeting catfishing victims.

Don’t dox other members

Just because you get rejected by someone online does not give you the right to reveal their personal information to the world or to their circle if you are part of it. In a similar vein, some people may not be out as polygamists or polyamorists, and we should give them the opportunity to come out on their own terms.

Finding a sister wife in the digital age

Online poly dating is full of exciting new connections and poly members who want to join you on this journey. At times, online dating can feel awkward and unnatural, but treat it like you would as an in-person dating event or a casual walk through an unknown neighborhood.

There are people you will naturally gravitate toward, and there are people who you will happily pass by without greeting. Who knows, in your search to find a sister wife online, you might make a lifelong friend instead—there’s no lose-lose situation here.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

For heterosexual people, there are all kinds of support groups available. From online advice groups to speed dating events, monogamous people are always one click or call away from someone who understands what they’re going through.

What about if you need a polygamy community that understands what it’s like to feel jealous of a new partner, or feel frustrated at not being able to spend time with your metamour? Fortunately, help is here, and you just need to know where to look.

That Kind of Polygamy Community

One Google query of “polygamy community” yields alarming articles about genetic disasters in secluded polygamous communities, remote ranches inhabited by polygamists, and rural areas that serve as havens for practicing polygamists.

While these areas are indeed very real, they’re not the type of polygamous communities we’ll be talking about today. We’ll be talking about online or in-person communities where the average Joe or average Jane can connect with other like-minded peers.

In-Person Polygamy Meetings

If you’re a face-to-face type of person, and you thrive on social relationships, you might want to find groups that meet regularly.

To find them, try going on events-oriented sites and typing up your city. You can also try Google by typing in “polygamy event + [Your City]” or “polygamy support + [Your City]” depending on what you’re looking for.

Broader groups like LGBTQIA+ organizations can also provide a way for you to meet other polygamists. You never know—you might also meet your new partner or sister wife through one of these events!




Online Groups

If you want to keep things virtual, or if you want to vet people before you meet them at a physical location, you’re in luck. There are plenty of online groups where you can connect with others about the poly lifestyle.


Check out some of these groups I discovered on the platform.

● Polygamy meetup

● Relationships Outside the Box: Polyamory and Open Relationships

● Relationship Success Secrets: Polyamory, Consensual Non-Monogamy, Freedom

● Polyamorous Dating

● Homesteading & Polygamy (polygyny)

● Biblical Christian Polygamy/Polygyny

● Polygamy Personals, Advocacy & Education

● Poly Dating & More in your 30's-50's

● …and more

These are just a few groups I found during a quick search. Your results may yield something different based on your location, and you can also add “[Your City]” to any poly group-related searches on Facebook.


For those unfamiliar, Reddit is a forum-type social media platform where you can post comments, send messages, or post images/videos/text. Everything you post is public, but the messaging feature is private.

It’s incredibly helpful for seeking advice or making casual connections. Alternatively, there is a cheekier side of Reddit, just like any other online platform, where you may be able to strike up a dating-oriented conversation or exchange some explicit content, given that both parties are consenting.

Check out these useful groups if you want to give the platform a try.

● r/polyamory

● r/Polygamy

● r/SisterWives

● r/seekingsisterwifetlc

● r/PolygamyDiscussion

● r/TLCsisterwives

● r/polyamoryR4R

● r/nonmonogamy

● r/polyfamilies

Sister Wives

We also provide a safe, welcoming space on our site for members to connect. Use our forums section to discuss anything from how to come out as poly to what is the best music genre—any topic is fair game!

Other Sites

Here are a few more forum-type sites you can explore for information, advice, or discourse.




Other Types of Support

If you’re looking for other kinds of polygamous information like podcasts, shows, or books, take a look at some of the more popular resources down below. While these may not be your typical poly community, consuming these media can help you get a better understanding of the polygamous lifestyle, its roots, and its current direction.


From dissecting poly love and relationships through a feminist lens to a Mormon viewpoint, there’s no shortage of great podcasts to enrich your ideas and knowledge of this lifestyle.

● Polyamory Weekly

● Unmasked

● Year of Polygamy Podcast

● Polygamy: What Love Is This?

TV Shows

Granted, the variety of shows available is limited to reality TV and harrowing docu-dramas, but they provide great insight into the lifestyle, nonetheless.

● Sister Wives

● Seeking Sister Wife

● Escaping Polygamy

● Big Love


Most books that touch on polygamous subjects are autobiographies recounting women’s experiences with religious or forced plural marriage If you’re dealing with this kind of trauma, hearing others’ accounts of similar experiences may validate your feelings and help you process your emotions.

Shot in the Dark: Craigslist or Other Classifieds

Craiglist is nearly obsolete, with the rest of the Internet moving onto more advanced (and probably more secure) platforms like Facebook, OfferUp, Poshmark, etc. However, it may not hurt to post a classified looking for a support group, supportive peer, or something along those lines.

At worst, you receive an unsolicited message, and at best, you find a genuine peer who is also in a poly relationship. Who knows, they may be able to point you in the right direction when looking for a polygamy community.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

On June 6, the fourth installment of Seeking Sister Wife premiered on TLC. The first episode, titled “Who Doesn’t Like Thirds?” introduced us to two new couples, the Davises, and the Foleys.

This season, viewers will also get to catch up with some show veterans—the Merrifields and the Joneses—as they find a sister wife to join their respective families.

Different Paths to Finding a Sister Wife

When it comes to growing a plural family, no two stories are alike. During the premiere episode, we got to meet some new faces and hear about their experiences with polygamy.

The Davises on Finding a Third Sister Wife

From the teasers and all the pre-season content we read beforehand, we knew that the Davises had an unusual family dynamic.

Jennifer and April are the ones who are legally married, and they both adopted their husband Nick’s last name. However, we find out that April and Nick had been together for 14 years before meeting Jennifer through April’s work.

It has been four years since Jennifer joined the family, and now, they’re trying to find another sister wife to add to the mix. What’s more, Nick is the main caretaker of his and April’s son, while Jennifer and April work.

It’s revealed that April’s son is not actually Nick’s, but he is the father by any other definition.

The Foleys on Courting a Younger Sister Wife

Steve and his then-wife had been married for 12 years when they met Brenda and became a plural family. Since then, the first wife has left the family due to negative emotions surrounding polygamy, but Steve and Brenda are still going strong.

On the show, Steve (42) and Brenda (38) are discovering just how difficult it may get when finding a sister wife that can get along with both of them. Right now, they’re courting April, a younger woman of 21.

Steve and Brenda are hoping all works out, but we’ll have to stay tuned to Seeking Sister Wife and see whether the two women will end up getting along.

The Merrifields on Growing a Big Family

Dannielle and Garrick Merrifield are back for another season. This time, they’re determined on finding a sister wife after participating in a non-legal ceremony in Mexico with the newest member of their family, Roberta.

Although preparations were underway to bring Roberta to the US (including a divorce between Dannielle and Garrick), it seems that the new sister wife still has personal matters to deal with back home.

For now, the American couple is courting Lea, a nurse who resides in California, whom they met online. On the show’s first episode, the couple drives from Colorado to California, and they meet Lea at the airport. All goes well, but it seems Roberta is experiencing some jealousy, making the idea of a virtual call feel uncomfortable.

It’s helpful to note that Garrick feels a religious calling to start a polygamist family and become head of a large family. Fortunately, it seems that their potential sister wife Lea fully understands the responsibilities of a sister wife—so far.

The Eppses on Finding a Third Wife

Previously, the Epps family was thought to join the show, but scandals surrounding Marcus Epps may have led producers to cut the family from season 4 of Seeking Sister Wife.

While fans were excited to learn as the throuple finds a sister wife, we’ll need to wait for the next episode to see if the Epps family will be around.

When is Episode 2 of Seeking Sister Wife Airing?

All future episodes of the show will air on Mondays at 10 PM ET on TLC.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

This show will air its fourth season on June 6, at 10 p.m. ET on TLC. While fans enjoyed up to 12 episodes at most in previous seasons (Season 3), we’ll get a whopping 14 episodes this summer.

For the uninitiated, Seeking Sister Wife documents the journey of several families who are searching for another wife to join their unit. Unlike other shows that chronicle plural families who are already established, Seeking Sister Wife gives us an insider’s view into this personal, and often emotional experience for everyone involved.

In 2021, we cheered and cried alongside five families on their dating quests and through their plural family struggles. Come June, we’ll meet some new faces and welcome old ones.

Who Will Be in the New Season?

From international sister wife candidates to wives who are married to each other, Season 4 of Seeking Sister Wife is sure to have some thrilling surprises in store.

Family 1: The Foleys

No stranger to the polygamist lifestyle, Steve and Brenda are taking the plunge into dating once again. In Season 4, fans will get to see how the couple handles courting a younger sister wife.

Family 2: The Davises

Who else will we meet this coming season? Nick, April, and Jennifer Davis who have somewhat an unorthodox arrangement, at least relative to the plural lifestyle. Jennifer and April are legally married, but they are both wives to Nick, whose last name they share.

Viewers will accompany the throuple as they try to find another sister wife to join their family.

Family 3: The Eppses

The last new group we’ll meet is family Marcus, Taryn, and India Epps. With two sister wives already in the household, the family decides to search for a third wife. Together, we’ll bear witness to their ups and downs in wooing a potential sister wife.

Family 4: The Merrifields

Seeking Sister Wife veterans Garrick and Danielle Merrifield will be giving us updates on their love life this summer. Last we saw them in Season 3, they were ecstatic about meeting and welcoming Roberta, a woman from Brazil, into their lives.

The married couple even divorced to grant Roberta legal status to remain in the U.S. In the new season, we’ll witness how the newlyweds are faring with their current arrangement.

Family 5: The Joneses

Sidian and Tosha Jones are also familiar faces we’ll be glad to see on our screens again. This summer, we’ll join them as they try to navigate their three-person household alongside international sister wife candidate Arielle from the Philippines.

Who Will Not Be Joining the New Season

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are some families who won’t get any screentime this upcoming season.

Family 1: The Snowdens

In season 2 and beyond the show, Dimitri and Ashley Snowden exhibited how a plural family experiences similar heartbreaks, personal issues, and even scandals, just like any other family.

Ashley and Dimitri dated and welcomed Vanessa into their family after saying goodbye to Joselyn, another potential sister wife, but it was revealed that Vanessa quickly left the household after just a few months of marriage.

Family 2: The Winders

Another family, the Winders, won’t be back this upcoming season, citing that the “ is taking a different path” as the reason why via an Instagram post. Tami, Sophie, and Colton Winder joined the show in season 2, and fans fell in love with their down-to-earth personalities and strong family dynamics.

In particular, viewers appreciated how emotionally mature and respectful everyone in the household was, especially since there are two children in the mix.

Other Polygamy Shows Like Seeking Sister Wife

Although we have a few weeks until the season premiere of Seeking Sister Wife, there may be similar polygamy shows you need to catch up on.

Sister Wives (2010-Present)

The golden child of polygamy shows, Sister Wives has 16 seasons you can binge-watch until June. It follows the lives of Kody Brown and sister wives Christine, Meri, Robyn, and Janelle—plus their 18 children.

Spoiler alert: Sister wife Christine leaves Kody in 2021, and only Season 17 can reveal whether or not the other sister wives follow suit.

My Five Wives (2013-2014)

Similar to Sister Wives, this show portrays a family practicing polygyny. In this family, there are five sister wives, one husband, and 25 children to get to know. There were two seasons overall.

Polygamy, USA (2013)

This one-part series from National Geographic showcases three polygamous families who live in Centennial Park, a Mormon headquarter in Arizona. It’s a fascinating series that acknowledges the challenges of living in the Centennial Park Group as a polygamist.

Escaping Polygamy (2014-2019)

If you’re curious about how people born into polygamy who do not want to stay polygamous leave the community, try watching Escaping Polygamy. This series follows the story of two sisters born into polygamy who end up leaving and helping others who wish to leave, too.

Three Wives, One Husband (2014-2017)

Similar to Escaping Polygamy, this docuseries demystifies an often secret side of polygamy. It depicts the lives of 15 Mormon families living in Utah and how their unique arrangements affect their quality of life.

In other words, Seeking Sister Wife opens a window into modern polygamous lifestyles, but Three Wives, One Husband provides insight into the religious reasons behind polygamy. It’s also an insider’s look into the courting process for a sister wife and it reveals how large, polygamous families operate day-to-day.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

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