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Polyamorous Commitment Ceremony: a Guide

Unfortunately, most countries and regions in the world do not permit polyamorous weddings. Naturally, there are exceptions like Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, or South Africa; however, in most cases, these only legalize a man having multiple wives and not the other way around. This is why commitment ceremonies take place in polyamory. They are just like weddings, with one simple difference, they bear no legal validity. In this article, we look at such ceremonies and guide you through their ins and outs. We invite you to read on.

What Is a Commitment Ceremony in Polyamory?

If you ever tried to come out as polyamorous to your parents, you either experienced or at least read about others experiencing a sort of backlash. This is because most of society still does not accept polyamorous relationships. This is also one of the reasons why commitment ceremonies exist in polyamory. 

Polyamorous marriages are illegal in most countries around the world, including the US. Commitment ceremonies are, therefore, non-legally binding marriages, a sort of wedding that isn’t a wedding.

Polyamorous commitment ceremonies include vows and all the other elements known from regular marriages, though what they look like depends on those organizing them. They are organized mainly to symbolize “the next step” by two (or more) people in a poly relationship, increasing their commitment to each other.

Are Commitment Ceremonies Legal?

Commitment ceremonies are completely legal, they aren’t legally binding marriages; hence, you can participate in them in all 50 states.

What is really important here is that anyone can organize a commitment ceremony. Although they are primarily prepared for those living in poly relationships, such an event might also be held by, for instance, a gay couple if the state does not allow same-sex marriages.

Can Only Two People Vow in a Commitment Ceremony?

There are no rules or strict frameworks regarding commitment ceremonies—after all, they aren’t legally binding. Whether you want to participate with only one of your non-primary partners or… all your partners in a non-hierarchical relationship is entirely up to you.

Naturally, the number of people exchanging vows at a commitment ceremony will affect how you organize this event. For instance, as a throuple, you should arrange a ceremony where you all face your guests rather than each other. This will make it much easier for the photographer to take wonderful, memorable photos of your ceremony.

A Few Tips for Polyamorous Commitment Ceremonies

Are you keen on organizing your polyamorous commitment ceremony? Then, here are some helpful tips from our team to help you make it perfect!

Decide Who’s Vowing Commitment Early On

If you’re in a larger relationship or poly network, start planning your ceremony by deciding who will exchange vows and why. This will help you avoid misunderstandings later on.

Establish How Others Will Help

When you know who is going to exchange vows, you need to decide on the role of other partners in your poly commitment ceremony. Should they just be guests, or perhaps you want them to help with the preparations? Check whether you’re all on the same page and establish the roles early on.

It’s Good to Create a Ceremony Outline, So Do It

Another useful tip: create an outline of the ceremony. We don’t want to provide you with an example, as there are numerous ways to approach your commitment vows; nevertheless, you should decide what elements will make it to such an outline together with your partners. This way, you’ll plan the perfect ceremony.

Don’t Use Marriage-Related Words

Polygamous marriages are illegal in the US and penalized in most states. Thus, stick to naming your event a commitment ceremony and avoid using words like “marriage,” “wedding,” “spouse,” or “wife.” This way, you will avoid being accused of breaking the law.

Time to Celebrate Your Love!

Commitment ceremonies are a great way to strengthen your bond and show your love in a polyamorous relationship. While you might need to avoid calling them weddings, they represent the same level of intimacy and commitment; thus, if you feel like marrying someone in your poly relationship but cannot do that due to the legal state of poly marriages, don’t hesitate to organize such a ceremony!

And if you’re still looking for “the ones,” see our polyamorous dating app.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc