Chris's article

Managing jealousy and insecurity is one of the most difficult challenges in polyamorous relationships. After all, we’re still human, and these feelings are natural for us. At the same time, the nature of polyamory means that you will possibly “share” your partner with other people. So, how do you cope with these feelings and overcome insecurity? Find it out in this article!

Understand the Feeling of Insecurity in Polyamory

First thing first. To effectively cope with insecurity, you need to understand what causes it in polyamory. Several reasons can cause jealousy in polyamorous relationships, including:

• Unmet needs - Insecurity may be caused when you feel that your partner does not meet your needs. This might be especially problematic if your partner meets the same needs for others in his poly network.

• Sense of inadequacy - Another possible source of insecurity in polyamory is your partner triggering your sense of inadequacy. Mind that it does not mean that they make you feel inadequate, but rather intensify this feeling that you already have. This might be caused by, for instance, comparing yourself to their other partners.

• Fear of abandonment and anxiety - Here, the case is simple—it’s not what your partner does with other people that causes the feeling of insecurity; it’s the pure fact that they could possibly leave you for them.

• Distrust - Whether valid or not, distrust may also lead to insecurity.

To cope with insecurities in your poly relationship, you need to find out what causes them. Only then can you apply adequate measures.

How to Deal with Insecurities in a Poly Relationship?

So, how can you battle your insecurities and embrace compersion in polyamory? We have prepared a few tips that will help you with this. Take a look below.

Talk with Your Partner(s)

The best way to deal with insecurities in a polyamorous relationship is to talk them through with your partner(s) and find a solution together. This is especially true if you have unmet needs and struggle with distrust.

Your conversations should be open; you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about your needs. When it comes to trust, the more you observe your partner react to your concerns and expectations, the more trust you should build. However, remember not to seek reassurance - this won’t help you get rid of the feeling of insecurity. Instead, tackle this feeling at its roots and find ways to eliminate the causes of insecurity and jealousy together!

Self-Help

Sometimes, the reason behind your insecurities is rooted deeply within you (e.g., a sense of inadequacy). In such situations, you need to cope with them yourself.

Self-help resources are a great aid in this process. Books about jealousy and online polyamory resources, like podcasts, videos, or articles, will all prove extremely helpful in dealing with your insecurities. In them, you will find ways to deal with your emotions when they occur, as well as learn about the most common challenges in poly relationships and the best solutions to them.

Engage with the Poly Community

You might also seek help from other poly people in the community. For instance, our “blogs” section offers you a forum where you can ask your questions anonymously and seek answers from others…or read their posts and learn something on your way. You can also make new poly friends using our polyamory app - who knows; perhaps they will turn into your additional partners?

Therapy

Finally, if nothing works, it might be beneficial to speak about your polyamory insecurities with a trained professional. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, and it can help you when other measures fail.

Ready to Break Free from Insecurity?

Follow our tips, and you’ll manage your insecurities much more effectively. Remember, your feelings won’t disappear overnight—it will take some time to cope with them, but in the end, you will be in a much happier relationship(s).

You may also read: What Can Polyamory Teach Us About Attachment Styles?

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

What is a nesting partner? This refers to your partner in a polyamorous relationship with whom you live. What’s important is that you don’t have to be married, and you can have more than one nesting partner. It all depends on who you live with and who you are in a relationship with. Do you want to learn more? Then read on!

What Is a Nesting Partner in Polyamory

You have probably heard numerous polyamory-related terms, like compersion or a nesting partner, but didn’t know their meaning. After all, there are quite a few poly-specific phrases and terms used to describe what’s going on in relationships. Don’t worry, though; we’re here to help you – let’s explain what a nesting partner is.

This term is quite general and describes a partner with whom you live. You could use it even in a monogamous relationship; after all, not always do people live together while being together. However, in poly, it becomes slightly more important since you may have several partners but share a household only with particular ones.

The meaning of a nesting partner isn’t restricted to your marital status or the type of relationship – it refers to any partner with whom you have a sexual or romantic relationship and with whom you live. It’s also not restricted by numbers – you can have several nesting partners if you’re poly!

How Nesting Partners Work?

Let’s get a bit deeper into the topic of nesting partners. How does this work? Here are the key information:

• Nesting partners can be both secondary and primary partners – the status does not matter.

• Nesting partners might bring up kids together.

• Nesting partners are in a relationship – the fact that you have, for instance, been intimate with your roommate does not make them your nesting partner.

What Are the Benefits of Having Multiple Nesting Partners in a Poly Relationship?

Having several nesting partners might seem like a challenge, but it’s also a great opportunity – this has quite a few advantages. What are they? Take a look below.

Living in a Poly Family

First, we need to look at the benefits of polyamory families in general since this is exactly what you create when having multiple nesting partners. These include:

• emotional fulfillment,

• shared parenting responsibilities,

• diverse perspectives that broaden the horizons.

Financial Stability

Living with more people is often more affordable than doing so on your own or with just one partner. Thus, opting for a nesting partner(s) often comes with more financial stability and a higher disposable income for you to spend on your dates, hobbies, etc..

Is Having a Polyamorous Nesting Partner for You? Potential Challenges

Nesting partners are great, but this kind of relationship might also have its downsides. Hence, do determine whether a nesting partner is for you, let’s look at the potential drawbacks of this option.

Setting Boundaries

If you are both poly, you might also date other people, and there’s nothing wrong with that… until your shared spaces come into play. You might be okay with your partner’s dates in your house, but you might also be completely against it, and so might your nesting partner. This might create conflicts regarding the boundaries that you want to set.

More Dynamic Household

With more people in your household, there is more potential for conflicts regarding your daily lives. Whether someone does not clean up after themselves or plays their music loudly, it might be difficult to come up with a compromise, especially since they aren’t just your roomies – they’re your partners whom you care about.

Time to Nest?

As you can see, nesting partners have their benefits, but there are also some obstacles that you’ll need to overcome. The key is proper communication – with it, you’ll surely make a great family with those you care most about.

Are you looking for new partners? Check out our poly dating app!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Ambiamory is yet another poly term, the meaning of which we need to explain. In general, it refers to people who are comfortable with both being polygamous and monogamous. In this article, we shall look at this more closely. We invite you to read on.

What Is Ambiamory? Definition and Meaning

What is the definition of ambiamory? It’s the ability to be equally content with both a polyamorous and a monogamous relationship. It is believed to be a spectrum between these two orientations.

People who are ambiamorous create long-lasting, meaningful relationships, no matter whether mono or poly. What is more, they are equally happy in either of the settings, making the most of their time. Thus, in simple terms, ambiamory does not mean that you strive for both, but rather that you can adjust and be happy in both scenarios.

What Is the History of Ambiamory?

We don’t know exactly when the term was coined and emerged; however, we are able to point out when it was most popular. According to Google Trends, “ambiamory” was most commonly searched for in 2019 and since the middle of 2022, which corresponds to the overall poly boom.

This might have its roots in the way people use the adjective polyamorous when dating. For example, if you find a profile on a poly dating site with “ambiamorous” written in it, the person actually wants to show you that they are open to both options. However, is somebody like this truly ambiamorous? Not always – it might be so that such a person will prefer one of the options in the long run and that it only seems to them that they are fully comfortable with both, so take such profiles with a pinch of salt.

The Challenges of Being Ambiamorous

While being ambiamorous might seem great – you can have either of the worlds – there are some challenges associated with it. What are they in particular?

Firstly, returning to the example from the previous section, since not all people who claim to be ambiamorous truly are ambiamorous, poly and mono people might simply… not trust them. For such potential partners, it always feels like a risk, which later builds mistrust and communication issues and causes conflicts. Hence, being 100% honest with ambiamory might often cause a backlash.

Secondly, ambiamorous people are often perceived as cheaters (which is a hurtful myth). Many people believe that truly ambiamorous partners will seek both worlds and, in the end, will build a seemingly mono relationship while sleeping with other partners.

The Truth About Ambiamory

What is the truth about ambiamory regarding the above challenges and myths? It equals flexibility. It’s not monogamy nor polygamy; it’s a completely separate relationship style that lets the person easily adjust to the dynamics of their partner(s). Hence, despite what the popular opinions lead to say, it’s nothing bad – quite the opposite, it opens up new dating opportunities.

Ready to Explore Your Own Spectrum?

We hope that we have explained the meaning of ambiamory to you thoroughly enough that you understand this concept now. After all, it’s quite important since it proves that there are spectrums between monogamy and polyamory and that these two are not fully contradictory. In the end, it’s important to note that many poly people might actually be ambi; just think about yourself – did the fact that you tried going poly cause you not to want a monogamous relationship ever again, or would you consider it and feel comfortable if it was with the right person?

You might also read: Know Your Poly Terms and Conditions

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc