Chris's article

Indeed, polygamy is a practice that dates back to the dawn of humans and is still practiced today in a variety of cultural contexts throughout every continent, including the United States, where the majority of people claim to be against it.

Even though polygamy and other poly relationships are quite common in West African communities, it is not widely accepted. This is probably because of the biased law against women's right to be involved in several relationships at a time. If you are looking to get into a black poly relationship, read below to find tips to help you achieve your goals:

Respect Your Partner’s Partners

Balance is necessary for every relationship, but poly relationships require it much more. You may maintain yours on stable ground by respecting your partner's preference for other partners.

If you choose to be mean and disrespectful towards your lover’s partner, your negativity may drive your spouse away or it may persuade them that you are not suitable for the relationship you agreed to, one in which you are not always the center of attention.

This does not imply that you must support your partner in their other relationships; maintaining a polite distance is also a smart choice. Instead, you would be wise to concentrate on your own relationship and its success.

Set Boundaries

Even if you're cool with sharing your partner with someone else, it’s normal to get jealous of other partners. Knowing that your partner is having fun or going on a date with their other partner would not make you feel good in any way.

When going out with someone else, you might want your partner to just state that they are going out instead of giving the full details. Have a conversation with your partner upfront if you are or are not okay with her talking about your private moments with other people when it comes to personal information about you.

Spend Time with Your Partner Alone

In one person in a polyamorous relationship is your main partner, being explicit about the activities or things you will share that will stay between just you two is important. It is best to keep such moments that are meaningful to you both private and unique.

Say that every year on your anniversary, you and your significant other go to the same restaurant. Instead of allowing him to invite the other partner there, explain to him that you would prefer to reserve the location and the custom for the two of you since doing so with someone else would lessen its significance.

Keep Your Expectations Realistic

You don’t have the ability to foresee future events or predict whether or not your partner will break up with you. If and when circumstances abruptly change, being open to the possibility of quick change will lessen the damage. Maybe your partner breaks up with you "randomly" because they want to be monogamous with their other relationship, or maybe you find you're no longer attracted to your present companions. Regardless, it's essential to guard your heart by maintaining a line of communication with it.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Perhaps you overheard about it over brunch on Sunday and want to learn more, or perhaps you're wondering about a lifestyle involving numerous loves. Whatever the source of your interest in polygamy vs. polyamory, you've certainly wondered what the distinction between the two terms is. The interest in polyamory and other alternative lifestyles seems to have exploded, and it nearly seems to be ubiquitous.

Although we can only guess, the rise of dating websites and hook-up apps, as well as a growing awareness of the drawbacks of monogamy, may be contributing factors to the growing interest in a polyamorous lifestyle. Simply said, more individuals are receptive to fresh ideas. Read along to learn about the difference between polygamy and polyamory.

Polygamy Vs. Polyamory: What Do They Mean?

When a man has numerous wives at the same time, it is known as polygamy. Polygamy is another term for plural marriage. Meanwhile, the act of having numerous partners is known as polyamory. When someone practices polyamory, they have a desire for numerous people in an intimate connection. To be in such a partnership, all of the parties in the various relationships must agree to it. People who engage in polyamory see it as a responsible, moral, and mutually beneficial alternative to monogamy.

For good reason, many people mistake polyamory for polygamy. Both polyamory and polygamy are quite uncommon in modern Western civilization; neither is even known to or practiced by the majority. 

Differences Between Polyamory and Polygamy 

• Gender

The gender of the partners is where polyamory and polygamy diverge the most. Anyone of any gender who practices polyamory is free to have several partners—either as themselves or as their partners. Only one individual engages in polygamy, which is nearly often heterosexual, and they have many spouses of various sexes. The marriage in which one man marries numerous women is known as polygyny and is by far the most prevalent type of polygamy. When one woman marries many men, it is a practice known as polyandry.

In much of human history, having several partners meant a man had several women. Because so many types of gender expression have become more visible and because more individuals are expressing gender variation or dating gender-diverse people, it is relatively new for people to have partners of all genders, regardless of their own gender. 

Furthermore, it has never been common for women to be upfront about having several men as companions. Previously, only extremely wealthy, eccentric, or anarchist women would engage in it; but, in today's global North and West, women from all walks of life can engage in polyamorous relationships and have several men.

• Religion

At the moment, polygyny is typically a feature of religious communities that regulate affluent men's access to numerous spouses and serve as a conduit for poorer men without women. In the US, polygyny is mostly practiced by two religious groups:

• Muslims, who predominately comprise African Americans, immigrants from Muslim-majority countries, and a small number of white converts. 

• Fundamentalist Mormons/Latter-Day Saints who are virtually invariably Caucasian. Several Christian groups in the United States permit men to have numerous wives. 

History

Dawn Glory In 1990, Ravenheart first used the word "polyamory." Polyamory is presently experiencing its third wave of enigmatic popularity as a theory or way of life. First-wave utopians, feminists, and anarchists promoted consensual non-monogamy as a remedy for anything from male tyranny over women to capitalist oppression. The "free love" phase of the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s marked the beginning of the second wave, which flourished among hippies, swingers, and disco dancers. With the growth of Internet communication came the third and greatest wave to date.

Contrarily, polygamy has existed since the invention of marriage. Famous males from the Torah/Old Testament who married several wives and had many children with all of them including Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon. In every community that anthropologists and sociologists have been able to identify, wealthy men have had access to several women, both in the past and the present. 

• Region

Today, Asia, the Middle East, and Africa are where polygamy is most prevalent because of religious practices that restrict women's access to many male partners while allowing certain men access to several spouses. It may be exceedingly challenging for women to attend school or find the sort of job that would allow them to have personal independence and control over their life because they may also be prohibited from driving or having access to public places. In many cases, family members negotiate the women's weddings on their behalf with their future spouse and/or his family, especially if he is a very young man.

Polyamory (as opposed to polygamy) is probably more common in regions where women have more access to education and personal independence for the same reasons that polygamy is. Australia, Canada, the United States, and Western Europe are the regions with the lowest percentages of female illiteracy and legislation enshrining gender equality where polyamory is most prevalent.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Even if it sounds romantic, not everyone shares the objective of staying in a long-term relationship with just one person. Many views on monogamy have greatly evolved as a result of the economic, social, and health developments that have led to much longer lifespans, and more control over reproduction and children. Due to the prevalence of divorce, many people now practice serial monogamy, in which they get into one relationship at a time, fall in love, end it, and then start another one.

However, poly relationships are a type of consensual non-monogamy that stresses simultaneous emotional and sexual closeness with numerous partners, ideally with the knowledge of all individuals involved. Below are some of the goals of a poly relationship as an alternative to monogamy:

Shared Needs and Responsibilities

One’s relationship will be under a lot of stress if you expect it to provide for all of your needs, including companionship, support, co-parenting, best friends, lovers, therapists, housekeepers, paychecks, and other necessities. The expectations that emerge when this concentration diminishes other sources of support might be too much for many relationships to handle. Some monogamous couples put the couple first over other social ties in their effort to preserve sexual and emotional faithfulness. That's often not the case with polyamorous individuals.

Spreading out one's wants across several individuals allows one to meet more of them, which is one of the main advantages of poly relationships. They may have been friends, family members, ex-partners, or even lovers at times. The capacity to seek out and build relationships with others outside of your partner that are supportive of one another is more crucial than having a sexual connection. Making it easy for partners to develop a variety of friendships and support networks may benefit everyone.

Ability to Seek Help

Giving up without making an effort to resolve issues might result in the early termination of a healthy relationship that is going through a challenging time in relationships. Of course, this is true for those in monogamous and serial-monogamous relationships, which have a higher chance of success when both partners work hard to uphold and prolong the union. However, due to their complexity, polyamorous relationships need even more of this sort of labor.

Serial monogamous partnerships may also benefit from and be sustained by poly people's propensity to seek out support from others. We tend to conceal problems from friends and family when things are difficult. The alternative, according to polyamorists, is to ask your friends and neighbors for support, sympathy, and guidance. Receiving relationship coaching or professional therapy may be incredibly beneficial for coping with current problems and creating communication habits that can assist with future problems.

Flexibility and Possibilities of Change

Because they are open to trying new things, polyamorous persons are able to maintain their relationships despite these transitions. This may also be due to the fact that there are so few role models for consensually non-monogamic relationships that polyamorous individuals frequently improvise. For both polyamorous and monogamous people, attempting something new may be quite successful if the current relationship isn't working.

This might include altering one's expectations and letting go of old habits, which can be both energizing and terrifying. Families may be resilient if they can adjust to changing circumstances, and polyamorous families frequently have to do this as they accommodate numerous partners, leading to novel family and emotional configurations. Polyamorous families experiment with different approaches, restructure their interactions, and keep an open mind to other options in order to handle their unusual family situations.

Personal Growth Opportunities

Without a doubt, polyamory is emotionally difficult. Every love connection involves jealousy, insecurity, and other undesirable feelings. However, polyamorists attempt to confront difficult feelings rather than attempt to escape them.

People in long-term polyamorous relationships assert that the key to handling potentially difficult or painful emotions is a combination of reflection and open communication. Polyamorous persons are frequently forced to either come to know themselves—or to give up polyamory—by having to confront their self-doubts, question their own motivations and assess their own boundaries.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Are you looking to enter a poly relationship? Consider joining a dating app for polyamorists. Other than the obvious options like geolocation, preference-based filtering, privacy protections, and security measures, there are top dating app features that are designed to boost user-to-user engagement. In this guide, we've outlined various dating app features that qualify the best poly dating app for you so that you can make the right choice.

Advanced Search

When it comes to choosing a spouse, everyone can already picture who they want based on certain speculations. While some people only want a friend or a date, others may be in search of a long-term companion. In addition, people may have preferences about things like age, religion, gender, or zodiac sign. It is essential to offer extensive search options with filters in order to enable users to focus their search. To quickly get the necessary results, the filter you choose would be built utilizing tight algorithms.

In-app Chat and Messaging

A dating app must include text messaging, but users want full-featured chat with voice notes, videos, and image filters. It improves user interactions and increases the likelihood of real-world relationships by making conversation less formal and more engaging.

Voice and Video Calling

Users may go beyond text chat into something more intimate and personal with voice and video calling services, which with filters also provide your app a chance to make money by making this a paid premium feature. Using an app that features voice and video calling gives you a shot at developing a bond quicker with your ideal partner.

Gamified User Profiles

A vital component of every dating app is the user profile, which is at the top of any dating site feature list. Typically, it includes some fundamental details like gender, age, location, a clever slogan to add personality, a list of hobbies, and a few pictures. Basic user profiles alone, however, have very little, if any, influence on user engagement, as we have observed with various dating applications and platforms.

Using a dating app with this feature will assist you in creating your own engaging profiles that allow you to express your unique personality.

Profile Recommendation

To assist users in locating their ideal match on the app for romance, love, and dating, the majority of dating apps provide a search function or filtering options. However, AI has the potential to elevate this entire situation by automatically showing or endorsing the profiles that correspond to your relationship preferences or search filter that you have specified in your profile.

Ice Breakers

It doesn't follow that users would start the first chat on their own even after a match has been formed. The reason is that making the initial move might be scary for many individuals. In this situation, icebreakers are useful.

Using an app that provides you with simple icebreakers like trivia and rapid-fire questions to help you start a discussion with an ideal partner is necessary. This helps you to find people interested in having or being in poly relationships.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Having more than one spouse or wife, but officially polygyny is defined as having more women than males. Polyandry occurs when a woman has more than one spouse. Around the world, it comes in a variety of forms. In certain societies, brothers will share a single lady. In some, a father and his son share a woman. In some, men have several wives; in Ethiopia's Arsi area, that number might reach 11. In many cases, a widow's brothers, father, or even a son by another woman inherit the estate of her deceased husband.

Many nations have laws that protect women's rights, even if polygamy rules are often biased against women and enable males to have numerous marriages. For instance, in Burkina Faso, where polygamy is widespread, the couple must initially agree that the union would be polygamous before the husband is permitted to take another wife. Before granting a marriage contract with a second wife in Djibouti, a court takes into consideration the opinions of the current wives and looks into the husband's socioeconomic status.

How Common are Polygamous Relationships?

More than a thousand societies were surveyed by the University of Wisconsin in 1998. Only 186 of them were monogamous. 453 people experienced polygyny on occasion, and 588 more people had it rather frequently. Four of them were polyandrous.

Polygamy has allegedly been the norm throughout human history, according to certain anthropologists. According to a 2003 article in the New Scientist magazine, up until 10,000 years ago, very few males had fathered the majority of offspring. According to DNA variations, the distribution of X chromosomes indicated that certain males may have contributed more genes to the gene pool than others. However, the majority of women appeared to be able to pass on their genes. According to this, humans were at least "mildly polygynous" like their monkey ancestors.

The animist and Muslim populations of West Africa frequently practice polygamy. For instance, in Senegal, many women are reportedly involved in approximately 47% of marriages. In many Arab countries, it is still quite high; in Israel, it is around 30% among the Bedouin population. As many as 10,000 conservative Mormons, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, lived in polygamous homes in 2005.

How Did Polygamy Begin?

It is unknown to everyone, however, there are hints. It is especially prevalent in regions where pre-colonial economic activity was centered on subsistence farming, which demands a large amount of labor, with Africa serving as a notable example. High infant mortality rates might have a role; when many kids don't live past the age of five, families need more than one child-bearer to remain financially stable.

Next comes war. Having more than one wife increases the population most quickly when a lot of males die. A male figure could form more military and political connections the more wives he had. The number of spouses a man had become a measure of his wealth and position. A bigger family became something to be proud of, while a smaller one became a failure and disgrace signal. In contrast, polyandry is a strategy for controlling population increase in societies when there are insufficient resources and too many people. No matter how many spouses a woman has, she can only have a certain number of children. These factors were frequently overtly political.

Were Politics an Influence on Polygamy?

It was a societal practice to marry widows in order to provide for orphans. The Prophet Mohamed married several of his additional wives—a total of nine—because they were battle widows. He was in a monogamous relationship for 25 years until his first wife passed away. The Koran permits a Muslim to wed up to four women, but only provided he is capable of providing for them all equally. Similar widow inheritance practices were common in many traditional African civilizations in order to preserve the extended family and its assets.

Other political figures have benefited from similar advantages throughout history. In Germany, the Nüremberg parliament ruled in 1650 that each male might wed up to 10 women because so many men had died in the Thirty Years' War. President Bashir of Sudan advised males to have many wives in 2001, stating that China and India's enormous populations were to blame for those countries' quick economic progress.

What Does Polygamy Have to Do with Religion?

Christianity views polygamy as an insult to the value of marriage and maintains that a man and wife must have an undivided, exclusive, and mutual love. However, Krishna, a Hindu deity, had 16,108 wives. Several of the older men in the Hebrew scriptures, such as Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon, practiced polygamy. Concubines were also acceptable in Confucianism, but only in order to produce an heir, not for sexual diversity. Marriages for pleasure, which are also expressly forbidden by the Koran, are common among Muslim males, yet many do not.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Most Western nations are often astonished to learn that many people have many wives. But is it really so unusual, and may there be advantages for everyone? It's definitely feasible to understand how to be happy in a polygamous marriage. Understanding polygamous marriages go beyond merely being aware of their legal ramifications. In order for everyone to be happy, the structure and rules of equality must be established.

Being the second wife of your husband doesn't mean you are a second choice or that you have to go through struggles throughout. There are advantages to being the second wife in a family that many don't talk about. Keep reading to learn the benefits of being the second wife in a polygamous relationship.

Access to Proper Guidance

The first wife of your husband can be the guide you need to enjoy a smooth transition into the married lifestyle. Since she already has the experience, she can put you through what is expected of you, what to do, and what not to do. This will help you avoid mistakes on how to run the home and other responsibilities.

Sharing Chores and Child-Bearing Responsibilities

When pondering "how do polygamous marriages function?", collaboration is used as an apparent example. For instance, while juggling a full-time job, the women can assist one another with the kids.

A polygamous marriage may experience difficulties and jealousy as a result. However, one method to get around this is the possible sisterhood that can emerge. Being the second wife means you don't have to do it all alone as you will always have a companion around to assist you when needed.

Freedom from Social Rules

In certain nations, women now have more choices over their fertility and financial independence than they had a few decades ago. Whereas in the past men could have had several mistresses, divorce is now more often accepted in the Western world. This implies that everyone might have several relationships in their lives.

Whatever the case, having a mistress is deceptive, and divorce is emotionally damaging. Maybe managing everyone's expectations is simpler if polygamous marriage encourages a more open and honest relationship. Since society shouldn't dictate how we live, why should it? There are many different variations of living arrangements available nowadays in addition to polygamous marriage.

Being the second wife to a man that already has kids, you don't have to worry about childbirth or other things society expects from a woman. According to an NYU study, many spouses in the West want to live apart, which is the exact opposite of a polygamous marriage. But who is to determine what will work for you?

Security and Protection

Protecting oneself from a culture that is harsh on lone women is one of the key reasons for polygamous marriage. A polygamous family can also pool their resources and help one another. Additionally, they may count on a larger number of future offspring to contribute. Being the other wife gives you protection against the harsh cultural values of your society. 

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc