Chris's article

Being a second wife is not a common road to take, especially when it comes to marriage practices. You must have gone through a mirage of ups and downs with marriages or relationships before committing to a polygamous relationship. As someone considering it, you may be wondering what it is like to be a second wife, having to share a husband with his multiple wives. Read more to find out more what it is like to be a second wife.

Plan The Perfect Wedding

One of the myths of being a second wife is that the second wife is left to have an undermined courthouse wedding that has no grandeur. And this lack of power and status bleeds into the marriage. However, this is far from the truth. You are free to plan your own wedding, however large or small. Ultimately, this is your wedding. Try to come up with creative ideas for your wedding that you and your husband can remember. For instance, the ceremony is an important aspect of the wedding that can be specially organized. If you have something special with your husband, including that in the ceremony can set you apart from the other wives.

Commitment And Respect

Most people who decide to be in a polygamous relationship tend have gone through divorces, and know what works and what does not. Because of this, people in polygamy do not commit for the sake of it. They know exactly what they want, and will not treat the marriage as a joke. Through this lens, being a second wife is good as it makes one treat others with respect. It can be a humbling experience.

Enrich Your Life

It is important to lay it down to your husband that even though he has multiple wives, you still want a life that is unique to the both of you. During your marriage, you should plan  activities that you two enjoy doing together. This can help you set yourself apart from the other wives.

Running into Ex’s

One thing that you need to embrace is that as your partner has had previous relationships and he may have emotional baggage. People in polygamous relationships tend to have many failed experiences in romance or marriage due to the judgements that the polyamorous community can be faced with. Because of this, the chances of running into an ex while you are out with your partner increase. To overcome this, do not get flustered when your partner mentions an ex. After all, both of you are committed to each other so, there is no need to get jealous or heartbroken. Remember that the next time you run into his ex, he will be introducing you as his wife. Embrace it and be proud of your marriage with your husband.

If you would like to know more about polygamy and polyamorous relationships, check out the Sister Wives website. Sister Wives is a dating platform that helps people find or become a sister wife. It is also a networking platform between sister wives to share tips like the above on what it is like being a sister wife. Sister wives also have many educational and thought-provoking articles on polygamy and polyamorous relationships. If this interests you, join us today!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Polyamory refers to a committed and consensual relationship between three or more people. It is a principled form of non-monogamy. Many polyamorous relationships are trusting and committed. The emotional needs are distributed throughout all partners. If you are considering ethical polyamory, one of the best places to explore is a polyamory dating app. In this post, we will share the top tips on how to navigate a polyamory dating app to find long lasting relationships.

Select An App That Is Suitable For Your Lifestyle

Explore all sorts of dating apps. Each dating app is similar in many ways, but there are many nuanced differences too. Read the testimonials and the aims of the app. For example, Feeld prioritizes alternative lifestyles and open relationships. In your profile you can add a partner to show who you are seeing. Another app called #Open is special as it informs users of events catered for polyamorous people. Lastly, OKCupid, which you may be familiar with, allows you to label yourself as polyamorous and you can match with other polyamorous people.

Honesty Will Go a Long Way

Many people try to put on a façade on dating apps, as the desire to impress is just too strong. However, you need to be transparent with yourself and to others so that you can find your best match(es). You should make clear on your dating app profile that you are open to polyamory so that others who swing the same way as you can connect with you. If your app allows you to link the account of your other partner, include your partner in your profile with his/her consent. By being honest, you can attract the right people.

Specificity Is Key

Polyamory is unconventional, and if you are not specific and explicit about this, there is no way anyone can tell. So, you should always be explicit to your date that you are polyamorous. If your match is not into this, this would spare both of you the time.

Costs Of Using Dating Apps

You need to work out the costs of using dating apps. Many apps have a subscription fee that allows you to get access to people who “liked” you. This makes it easier for you to find your match instead of plowing through decks of candidates. Work out your budget and see if you are keen on investing. There are also emotional costs of using a dating app. Sometimes you may match with someone who is attractive and likable, but they are not open to polyamory. This may cause disappointment. This is okay! Be respectful towards them and wish them the best.

If you are looking for a dating app for polyamorous or polygamous people, check out Sister Wives! It is a dating platform that helps people find or become a sister wife. It is also a networking platform between sister wives to share experiences on what it is like to be in a polyamorous relationship. Sister wives also have many educational and thought-provoking articles on polyamorous relationships that can help you to understand more about yourself or your loved one who is considering polyamory. If this interests you, join us today!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Polyamory is a kind of accepted and principled non-monogamy. It entails committed relationships between two and more people. What this means is that you and your partner can have multiple partners. Another word that sounds like polyamory is polygamy. These two are not the same! Polygamy strictly involves marriage while polyamory does not. Read on to find out how polyamorous dating works!

Polyamory Structures

There are multiple polyamory structures. For instance, there is polyfidelity where partners vow not to be sexually involved with anyone who is not part of the group. A triad describes three people who are in a relationship. A quad, as the name suggests, involves four people in a relationship. Lastly, a Vee is formed when one person dates two people but the two people are not dating anyone. These are just the structures that have been observed currently. If you are in a polyamorous relationship, it is crucial that you and your partner(s) define the kind of structure that you want. This makes the relationship easier to sustain.

Cheating in Polyamory

Polyamory, although unconventional, is still a committed relationship, and as with committed relationships, commitments can be violated. If you cross the boundaries defined by the partners in the polyamorous relationship, it might be considered cheating. What cheating means in polyamory is relationship dependent. For instance, you and your partners may have agreed that going out with others without informing beforehand is unacceptable. If you do that, it may be considered cheating or infidelity. Another example is that you and your partners may have agreed to not have any emotionally intimate or sexual relations with people outside of the throuple. If one violates this rule, it can also be considered infidelity. The rule of thumb is this: clear communication between your partners to define the boundaries of your relationship.

Healthy Polyamory

Polyamory can be sexually, emotionally, and mentally healthy for people. Just like monogamous relationships, polyamorous partners have values such as commitment and duty to others. If you can find someone who shares the same values as you do, as in any kind of relationship, you can flourish and be fulfilled.

Jealousy over Your Partner’s Partner

Clearly, polyamory has its own set of challenges that distinguish it from monogamy. How does one distribute the love and attention between all partners in the relationship? Surely it is difficult to manage this emotionally. For example, your partner may spend more time with the other partner, leaving you in a jealous mess. It is important that you and your partners work out a schedule on who to spend time with. This way, you minimize straining the relationship. You can also plan dates to do something special to set yourself apart from your partner’s partner. This can boost your self confidence and self-esteem.

If you would like to know more about polyamorous relationships, check out Sister Wives’ webpage. Sister Wives is a dating platform that helps people find or become a sister wife. It is also a networking platform between sister wives to share experiences on what it is like to be in a polyamorous relationship. Sister wives also have many educational and thought-provoking articles on polyamorous relationships. If this interests you, join us today!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Polyamory refers to a committed and consensual relationship between three or more people. It is a principled form of non-monogamy. Many polyamorous relationships are trusting and committed. The emotional needs are distributed throughout all partners. You may be surprised to hear that there are multiple types of polyamorous relationships. The ‘types’ are meant to define the boundaries of each relationship. To find out what they are, read on!

Triad

A triad is also called a throuple. It is a romantic and sexual relationship between three people. In this world, there is no such thing as a love triangle!

Quad

A quad relationship is similar to a triad, just that there is one additional person. It involves four partners who are sexually or romantically involved with each other.

Vee

A vee relationship constitutes one person dating two or more people who are not romantically or sexually involved with each other. For example, A is dating B and C. But B and C are only dating A.

Hierarchy Polyamory

As the name suggests, a hierarchy polyamory is one where the relationship dynamic is skewed. One relationship is more important than the other. For example, if A marries B, the relationship between A and B would be much stronger. And if A gets together with C, with B’s consent, the relationship between A and C will be much weaker than A and C. Hence, there is a hierarchy. A and B will prioritize each other.

Non-hierarchical Polyamory

Antithetical to a hierarchical polyamory, a non-hierarchical polyamory is one whose relationship dynamic is balanced. Everyone values each other and is committed to each other.

Solo Polyamory

In a solo polyamory, you prioritize your own individual desires rather than make decisions with your partners. You want the freedom to choose your own life, without being committed to any other partners in the relationship.

Kitchen Table Polyamory

In a kitchen table polyamorous relationship, the family-centred relationship is prized. All members come together to talk to each other about their life problems and solve them together. Not everyone is sexually or romantically involved with each other. Crucially, they are emotionally connected and show familial support for each other.

Mono-poly Relationships

In mono-poly relationships, one partner is polyamorous while the other is monogamous. It seems contradictory because how can someone who identifies as monogamous allow his or her partner to be polyamorous. However, this is possible. As adults, each of us can define our own wants and needs but not deprive the other party of theirs. If members of the polyamory understand the boundaries and agree on them, it can still be a healthy relationship.

If you would like to know more about polyamorous relationships, check out Sister Wives’ webpage. Sister Wives is a dating platform that helps people find or become a sister wife. It is also a networking platform between sister wives to share experiences on what it is like to be in a polyamorous relationship. Sister wives also have many educational and thought-provoking articles polyamorous relationships that can help you to understand more about yourself or your loved one who is considering polyamory. If this interests you, join us today!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

The show’s seventeenth season premieres on September 11, but a sneak peek shows fans what’s to come. In the season preview, Christine Brown faces off with now ex-husband Kody about why he doesn’t want to pursuit divorce. Her questions come after years of no intimacy and repeated offenses on Kody’s side. The season hasn’t premiered yet, and already, the drama is stirring up fans’ emotions.

Why did Christine leave Kody?

In November 2021, Christine and Kody’s 25-year-marriage ended. In Season 17, fans will discover how and why.

The newest mini clip reveals Christine asking Kody why he doesn’t want to let go of their union despite their lack of intimacy and dysfunctional relationship. She claims that of the 800 days she had lived in Arizona (she has since moved to Utah), Kody had only spent three full days with her and their shared kids.

Exasperated, Christine addresses the camera during a confessional, appealing for Kody to “Man the f—k up.” She implores Kody to be honest with her about the possibility of divorce.

Why do unhappy couples stay together or stay married?

It’s common to see partners stay together despite being deeply unhappy. This may be due to the interdependence theory or the idea that a partner will not leave a relationship if they perceive that the benefits outweigh the costs. Let’s review other factors that affect or compound this theory.

Fear of change

As children, we develop different attachment styles (of which there are four) that later develop into relationship styles. This is influenced by our early interactions with our parents or primary caregiver. About 20% of people develop an anxious attachment style.

People with this attachment style feel uncomfortable and scared when separated from their partner because their parents were unavailable or emotionally unpredictable throughout. Married people with an anxious attachment style are more likely to stay in a dissatisfied relationship regardless of their happiness. To them, the relationship centers on a fear of abandonment and insecurity.

Beyond attachment theory, many people fear the changes that divorce would bring, not just for themselves, but for their children and family. For example, a sister wife may not want to uproot her life away from their village, especially if she does not have family or friends elsewhere. This network is crucial for childcare, emotional, and social support.

Pooled resources

A more practical reason exists for staying in an unhappy marriage, too. Many people stay with their partners because they do not want to or cannot incur the costs of childcare and/or living expenses alone. When a sister wife wants to leave a marriage, it may not be feasible if she is a stay-at-home parent or is only working part-time.

Social expectations

In many cultures, marriage is expected when someone reaches their mid-twenties or early thirties. This expectation can deter many people from leaving a dissatisfying marriage, especially if it means they will be single parents or co-parents as a consequence. There’s a stigma surrounding single parenthood, and many people tough it out until children reach adulthood before parting ways.

Religious beliefs

Divorce is discouraged in many major religions, especially inside Catholic and Christian communities where married partners may feel a pressure to stay together for the sake of honoring a holy doctrine. In the Church of Latter-Day Saints and Mormonism, a legal divorce is allowed, but couples must also cancel a temple sealing if they were married in a temple.

How do you approach a marriage problem?

According to the CDC, every 2.3 couples of 1,000 get a divorce. According to an article by The Royal Society Publishing, households with three or more wives have higher instances of divorce due to co-wife conflict, on top of wife-husband struggles.

Divorce is the result of a breaking point. Before a sister wife or husband reaches this decision, there are ways to address marriage problems that result in a strengthened bond.

Be honest

It’s strange. Sometimes, we’re closed off to the people we are supposed to share everything with. In the Sister Wives Season 17 sneak peek, Christine confesses that she’s not very close to sister wives Robyn and Meri, which is a surprising fact given that she’s been part of the family for over two decades. She also raises the question of Kody being cowardly by not talking to her openly about divorce.

Dishonesty or holding back information only leads to mistrust. On the other hand, honesty paves the way to compassion and understanding. Without these values, conversations end in more arguments, confusion, and miscommunication.

Shift mindset from “me” to “we”

When we’re upset, it’s easy to blame, deflect, and retaliate. Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements redirects the conversation from accusatory to earnest. Voice your feelings honestly, but remember that it’s you and your spouse against the problem not you against each other.

In the sneak peek video from Sister Wives, Kody and Christine make repeated “You” statements. The argument escalates, when the intent is to have a fruitful conversation.

Discuss issues and come up with solutions together

One of the biggest gripes fans have with Kody is that he seems to make decisions without consulting everyone in the family—and without considering their input with genuine care. Working as a team takes care of practical challenges and strengthens the bond between sister wife and husband.

Teamwork also makes every person in the household feel seen and valuled. Otherwise, insecurity can create even more problems in a marriage.

Show up to difficult conversations with love

Long-term relationships and marriages breed familiarity, and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. This isn’t—and shouldn’t be—always the case, though. Instead of approaching disagreements with a defensive and combative attitude, show up with love and compassion.

Be eager to truly understand why the other person feels the way they feel, and listen without feeling the need to defend yourself or prescribe a solution for the both of you.

Spoiler alert: Christine and Kody split up

Although it’s too late for Christine and Kody, whose divorce we’ll get to see play out in Season 17 of Sister Wives, there’s still hope for other marriages. If you’re going through a rough patch in your marriage, the best time to make your amends is now. Marriage is rarely easy, but when we put in the work, we can build a loving, respectful, beautiful partnership that lasts.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

It’s official. Season 17 of Sister Wives will premiere on September 11, 2022 at 10:00 PM on TLC. The final episode of Season 16 premiered on February 20, 2022, which was part three of a multi-episode special where Kody and his four sister wives (Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn) spoke to interviewer Sukanya Krishnan about key family events over the past year.

What’s different in Season 17?

In January of 2022, Meri Brown confirmed Season 17 was in the works. Recently, TLC revealed that the show picks up where Season 16 left off—right after Kody and Christine split. Their 25-year-marriage ended in November 2021 with Christine claiming that the lack of intimacy drove her to make this momentous decision.

In the one-on-one talk session with Sukanya from Season 16, Christine also divulged that Kody changed his attitude towards Christine when she began asserting herself and saying “no” when she would normally acquiesce.

We don’t know the details of Christine and Kody’s conversations, but Christine tells Sukanya that she was surprised to learn of Kody’s grudges during therapy. This, too, may have contributed to their shocking but expected divorce.

Will Season 17 skip through the past year?

Season 16 of Sister Wives culminates in Kody and Christine’s divorce in November 2021, although the last episode premiered in February 2022. With the new seasoning debuting in September 2022, fans are curious to see whether producers will fast-forward to the present-day after featuring the split, given the significant time gap.

Fans are also speculating whether Meri or Janelle will announce a split from Kody before the new season airs. Both sister wives have expressed unhappiness in the marriage for a while, and Christine’s departure may have finally emboldened them to leave the plural marriage. Either way, fans are excited for new Sister Wives content this fall.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Dating with children seems impossible as a monogamous individual, so how do polygamous parents do it? While polygamy presents huge advantages to parents such as a supportive village to help with childcare, other facets of parenting as a poly parent can be complicated.

In an episode of Seeking Sister Wife, viewers scrutinized how Steve Foley conducted himself during a conversation about polygamy between him, his wife Brenda, and his two teenage children. For poly parents, this exchange may have struck a chord, and we can see why.

Seeking Sister Wife Season 4 Episode 5 and 6

On June 27, 2022, the polygamy tv show about couples courting potential sister wives released its fourth episode of the current season, with episode five airing the following week on July 4, 2022. The episodes chronicle the couples at different stages in their dating lives, but fans held onto a particular interaction between Steve Foley, his now-wife Brenda, and Steve’s two teenage children from his previous marriage.

The cringe-worthy interaction showed us Steve informing his daughter, Jayden, and his son, Preston, about his and Brenda’s plan to look for another sister wife to join their family.

Typical of an outspoken teen, daughter Jayden promptly lets his father know that she disapproves of his lifestyle, calling it “disgusting” and “gross.” However, the painful dialogue doesn’t end there.

Jayden asks her father how she would feel if Brenda, Steve’s wife, were to bring another man into the relationship. In true conflict-avoidant fashion, Steve ignores Jayden’s question.

The problem with Steve’s response

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and Steve’s daughter has some very strong feelings about his lifestyle. It’s not the decision to seek a sister wife that is the issue here, but rather how he’s communicating it to his children.

Ideally, parents should field children’s questions while respecting their opinion and providing honest, age-appropriate information.

Completely avoiding a relevant and common question about polygamy (I.e., why aren’t they looking for a boyfriend or a husband, and only a sister wife) indicates that Steve - and by extension, Brenda - may not be prepared to talk honestly about their lifestyle to their children beyond a simple “We’re dating other women.”

This exchange between Steve and his children on Seeking Sister Wife had the potential to turn into a mature, age-appropriate conversation about different types of polygamous structures and how couples set up their own boundaries and rules.

In the report about poly parenting What About the Children?! Children in Polyamorous Families: Stigma, Myths, and Realities by Jacki Yovanoff, it’s found that children who grow up in polyamorous households are more likely to develop a higher emotional intelligence, plus invaluable skills like self-confidence, and interpersonal skills.

In cases where parents are not so great with communication, however, children may develop adverse skills. So is Steve Foley a bad parent? While many Seeking Sister Wife fans will gladly crucify Steve for his parenting faux pas, we haven’t reached a guilty verdict yet.

After all, Steve and his family are on national television, and that alone can provoke someone to put their guards up.

How to talk to kids about polygamy

Nevertheless, there’s plenty of advice out there from poly parents with children on how to navigate these types of conversations. We’ve compiled a list of the best advice here to help parents looking for new boyfriends, girlfriends, sister wives, or husbands be more honest with their children.

1. Don’t keep huge secrets

Polygamy and polyamory are not shameful subjects. If your child is old enough to understand that you are dating multiple people, or that you and your partner are dating someone, let them know.

2. Encourage questions

Make sure your children know that they can ask you any question at any time without consequence or derision. A judgment-free, honest environment is an amazing thing not just when talking about polygamy, but about any big, life-related questions. You will be building a lifelong relationship and nurturing great communication skills.

3. Don’t feel the need to eliminate the awkwardness

If you’re keeping your poly lifestyle from your children, and they’re old enough to understand it, try to take a step back and check in with your feelings. Are you avoiding the conversation because you are afraid you will feel awkward? Are you avoiding the conversation because you are afraid that your children will feel awkward?

Know that other people’s discomfort around your life choices is not your responsibility. Yes, parents are responsible for their child’s well-being, but they will not be children forever, and they will be faced with uncomfortable topics throughout their lives.

What you can do is broach the topic and ensure that your children feel comfortable enough to ask you questions about polygamy or polyamory, no matter how uncomfortable the actual questions may be. No need to disclose personal details that happen behind closed doors between you and your partners, but your children deserve candid answers.

4. Bring children to poly events

One of the best parts about living in a poly household is the community you will all benefit from. Children’s idea of what constitutes normal is shaped by what we do and don’t expose them to during childhood.

Allow your children to interact with their peers and other adults in the poly community if possible - this reaffirms the idea that these communities are filled with loving, understanding, and supportive members. As children grow up, they will not feel like they are the odd one out for being in a poly household, but rather feel privileged to grow up in such a diverse environment.

5. Define dating terms in plain language

In most cases, children won’t know what monogamy, polygamy, polygyny, or polyamory means. When they ask, explain to them in age-appropriate language what each means, and what you identify with. Follow up the next day to see if they have any other questions.

6. Avoid disparaging language

Moreover, answer their questions about different relationships without criticizing other people’s choices. When we demonstrate compassion and open-mindedness, we encourage children to live the same way.

What can we expect from the Foleys in future episodes of Seeking Sister Wife?

We hope that Steve can sit down with his children and create a space where they can all talk about polygamy and polyamory in frankness. Witnessing a public figure throw away the chance to educate the younger generation about polygamy feels like a step back in the plight to make polygamy more mainstream.

Again, we must model open-mindedness and honest communication to children, especially around traditionally taboo topics like polygamy, and we can only hope Steve takes a cue from the fans to put more effort into connecting with his children before pursuing a new sister wife.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Spending money on dates is so ubiquitously expected that it feels reflexive. A high-end gastronomic experience, a luxury weekend getaway, a beautiful jewelry set—all these tokens have come to mean that our interest (and often love, later on) is deeper than it would be in the absence of them.

Finding a sister wife, though, is generally even more expensive than monogamous dating. Poly relationships are unique in that the dating stage may last for a long time—or indefinitely in some cases—so the obligation one feels in providing physical proof and ritzy experiences of our love is doubled compared to monogamy.

However, poly dating on a budget is possible. Not every couple and potential partner will have equal financial status, and the key to avoiding negative feelings and relationship outcomes is to talk about financial expectations openly.

Why is finding a sister wife more expensive than monogamy?

Dating multiple partners is more expensive just from a logistical standpoint. You multiple dating costs by two, or three, and this fact becomes clear. That said, there are other aspects of poly dating that make it more costly than monogamy dating.

Poly dating is not linear

In monogamy, Person 1 meets Person 1. They date for up to a year or two and decide to move in together. Within a few months, though, they become comfortable with each other and share the costs of dating—meals, trips, gifts, etc. When they decide to cohabitate, they share living costs. If they decide to have children, they share childcare costs.

In polygamy, though, the chronology of dating is a bit more nuanced. For solo polyamorists, many relationships can stay in the dating stage forever. This makes it difficult to avoid the costly parts of dating such as eating out, going out, and taking trips together.

Finding a sister wife is a whole another challenge. Not everyone is looking to get into such an arrangement right away, which means the dating stage will last significantly longer than a monogamous courtship.

Even though a couple dating a woman may be more financially stable and are willing to bear the costs of dating, the potential sister wife may experience shame for relying on the couple or fear of relying on the couple should they break up.

On the other hand, the couple might feel resentment over being financially responsible for their new sister wife somewhere down the line, especially during times of financial crisis or if they decide to welcome a child into their home.

Distance is often a factor

One example that comes to mind is a couple from Seeking Sister Wife, Garrick and Dannielle Merrifield, who met a sister wife from Brazil. They applied for her documentation so she could move to America, but before that, several trips were required for meeting and spending time together.

In the show’s current season, newcomers Sidian and Tosha Jones are courting a woman from the Philippines. Sidian has the opportunity to fly to the Philippines to meet Arielle, but not all couples can afford such trips.

In the same vein, not all potential sister wives could afford to fly out to meet new partners. Sure, the possible rewards are great for the costs (i.e., a happily ever after for all), but these dates and trips add up.

Gender roles play a part

Although polyamorous dating breaks many relationship stereotypes, some traditions are so ingrained in human behavior. Even in multiple relationships, the cost of a date typically falls on the man. It’s no problem for husbands who are head of the household and are the main financial caretaker, but for polyamorists males not yet financially established, this can make poly dating inaccessible.

Ways to save money in finding a sister wife

When we focus on experiences, genuine connections, and open communication, money doesn’t have to be a limiting factor in dating—it remains a mere factor.

Sign up for free dating sites and apps

Most dating services, including Sister Wives, offer free versions with options for premium memberships. Sometimes, dating services also offer limited discounts on memberships or limited trials. These are great ways to explore your options with little risk—and money.

Get comfortable with video calling

Nothing beats talking with someone face-to-face, but video calls can be just as intimate. With platforms like Zoom, Skype, and Facetime, you can set up private and secure calls with your partner(s). Utilizing video calling cuts down on transportation costs, too.

Attend free, local events

If you’re lucky enough to live near someone you’re dating, attending community events is a great way to build your relationship without breaking the bank. Community fairs, farmers’ markets, craft events, and other local-sponsored fetes are not only great for supporting your neighbors, but they usually don’t cost as much as going to a commercial establishment or taking a road trip.

Stay in

The ultimate money-saver, however, may be to stay in! You have the option of cooking up a homemade meal together or meeting after dinner and spending a few hours watching a movie, playing board games, hosting a book club, or catching up.

Meet in the middle

If you and your partner are the types to go on “official” dates, it’s best to choose activities that accommodate both partners’ financial resources. This way, one partner is not always treating the other, and you can maintain a sense of equality and respect.

Again, there are endless date ideas that cost little but mean so much. Do you have a hobby you share, such as rock climbing, hiking, car detailing, or gardening? Are you both museum buffs or art lovers? Are you both extroverted, or are you both comfortable just relaxing at home?

Talk about finances openly

Lastly, finding a sister wife on a budget and poly dating on a budget only works when all parties are honest. Personal finance is a difficult topic to bring up for most people because it’s directly connected with other sensitive information like income, debt, and spending habits.

In fact, money is the leading cause of most divorce cases, and 44% of Americans find it difficult to talk about personal finance. When we’re dating, we’d rather focus on the butterfly-inducing sides of relationships like intimacy, hopes, dreams, and shared first experiences. Excluding finance topics during dating, is a mistake, however.

When we’re open with our finances—how much we’re willing to spend on dates/gifts/trips, whether or not we want to merge finances with serious partners, what our financial goals are, what our current financial status is—when poly dating, all parties can make decisions together to ensure the best possible arrangements and outcomes.

Only when we realize that finances don’t have to be kept private or shameful will we realize that spending copious amounts of money on dates doesn’t have to be the norm.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

It’s no secret that Kody Brown and his four wives - Meri, Christine, Janelle, and Robyn - had a lot to say about polygamy at the beginning of their public journey. When their memoir, titled Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage was published in May 2013, it helped establish their credibility as modern-day polygamists.

In it, each woman recounts her experience with becoming a sister wife to her shared husband Kody Brown. Although Kody dominates much of the discourse (and the chapters) in the book, it’s still a worthwhile read for people who are not familiar with the Brown family, polygamy, or plural marriage.

It’s a book that provides an insider’s view into the family’s struggles with the polygamist lifestyle, namely financial struggles, jealousy, stereotypes, and co-parenting.

Becoming a sister wife

The book kicks off with Meri and Kody’s love story where the family’s story began. Both Meri and Kody were raised as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS).

We find out that it was Kody’s Mom who explained the idea of celestial plural marriage to Kody when he was just 14 years old. Kody also makes a distinction between mainstream LDS and their sect of Mormonism—plural marriage is not possible in the former.

Kody and Meri meet at a Mormon church after Kody’s parents were excommunicated from their LDS church, and the rest is history.

Beyond Meri and Kody, we also get a glimpse into Christine, Janelle, and Robyn’s lives before they become sister wives to Kody. Their chapters introduce us to their love stories and to their personal stories not just as sister wives but as individual women navigating this confusing world.

Breaking stereotypes

Kody and his wives are part of the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB), which is a different sect of FLDS. The show’s success in portraying the process of becoming a sister wife has allowed ethical polygamists to reclaim this title without being called degrading names.

Addressing jealousy

Another beautiful part about this book is that it depicts the wives’ feelings in a genuine way, even if it is limited. Sometimes this authenticity is dulled on screen, but in the book, we get to take in each wife’s experiences without the TV editing.

It seems that jealousy is the main culprit in most of the household spats—a refreshing and comforting fact if you are reading the book as a new sister wife who is coping with the same feelings.

Throughout the show’s many seasons, jealousy constantly drives conflict between Kody and the wives.

It’s caused fights between the wives, between Kody and the wives, and between Kody and the children. Jealousy (to some degree) even brought Kody and Christine’s 25-year-old marriage to an end.

The moral of the story may be to never sweep jealousy and other uncomfortable feelings under the rug. Instead, work through them as a group and as individuals as much as possible; if your plural family is in it for the long run, establishing a healthy line of communication should be a priority.

Pulling back the curtains on the sister wives’ relationships

One surprising aspect of the book is that it lets fans know how little time the families actually spend with one another. Excluding holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions, it seems that the wives and their children are rarely interacting every day.

Hence, it’s difficult to believe the wives when they claim that the advantages of plural marriage clearly outweigh the disadvantages when the wives go into little detail about these benefits. Nevertheless, it’s clear that every wife is committed to being the best mother she can be, and that their children’s well-being is their top priority at all times even when they all butt heads.

No religious or spiritual aspect

Perhaps in an effort not to alienate others or to reduce the risk of being misquoted, the book does not delve deep into the religious or spiritual reasons behind the family’s lifestyle. Sure, we get the same story from Kody about how he instantly felt drawn to the idea of celestial plural marriage because of his upbringing, but that’s about it.

Neither Kody nor any of the sister wives give us a deeper understanding of their motives behind being a husband or becoming a sister wife, respectively.

In my opinion, this omission is where the book misses the mark. If the premise of the book is to do a deep dive about becoming a sister wife and the ins and outs of plural marriage, then the foundation needs to be there—the why behind everything.

Is it a biological desire to father/mother children? Is it an indescribable spiritual calling to be part of a plural family? Is it a religious obligation? I hope that in the future, the Brown family can elaborate in another memoir if they write one.

Moreover, the Brown clan fails to clearly explain their religious sect and why it deviated from FLDS. For people new to the show or to Mormon sects, this ambiguity may be a real turnoff from the memoir.

Lack of personality and details

Another common gripe I share about the book is that the information is a little repetitive and too generic. The wives share their opinion on one thing, and Kody confirms the information or vice versa.

I understand that it would be very difficult to fit everything into one memoir, but it would be amazing to witness candid moments in the household with lots of specific details from each sister wife. I also understand that the book is more of an introduction to the show, which is why my complaints should not be taken to heart.

Final verdict

If you want to hear the (short) story about how Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn became a sister wife, then this book is a nice read. It repeats much of the information from the show with slightly more detail, although it leaves you wanting more personality and more raw emotion from the authors, particularly about the nitty-gritty of living in a plural family and why the sister wives are in the plural marriage.

Frankly, if you’re looking for an in-depth look at a polygamist family and the not-so-pretty details involved in the daily life of a sister wife, this book may not be what you’re looking for.

Be that as it may, it’s an interesting read if you prefer to learn more about the Browns instead of watching the television series in full. My general impression is that the wives do the best they can for their children, despite all the challenges that come with polygamy.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Online poly dating is a tricky digital landscape to navigate. You might spend hours researching how to approach a potential sister wife, let alone a couple that is on a search to find a sister wife. The best advice we can give is to be yourself, remember the best safety and polite practices when online dating, and don’t be afraid to make the first move.

You won’t get anywhere without pushing yourself even just a little bit out of your comfort zone, and the worst that can happen is you don’t get a reply back. The only thing holding you back may be the idea that every single interaction has to be perfect, and frankly, that’s just not realistic.

Be yourself

In finding a sister wife, you must be honest not just with yourself but with others.

● Have an accurate, recent profile photo

● Clearly state what you want out of this dating service (i.e. “Finding a sister wife”)

● Share hobbies and interests

Be bold, but don’t be pushy

Our dating service allows you to message other profiles privately, and you can also invite multiple people to a group chat. The group feature can help ease some nerve-wracking pressure if you’re new to dating or if you don’t want to pressure someone into a one-on-one conversation.

When you initiate a meaningful conversation, others may be more likely to trust your profile, too. You’re establishing yourself as a genuine, real person (i.e., not a bot or fake profile), by asking others about their interests and hobbies.

What’s not attractive is spamming someone with messages if they don’t respond within hours or days! The best case scenario is that the other person is just extremely busy, and the worst case scenario is they’re not interested.

Don’t worry—the right person will respond, so don’t go to extreme measures just yet. We also alert you when a potential sister wife who matches your profile and interest signs up for our service.

Be yourself, but don’t be too open with personal information

We do our best to eliminate fake profiles to help you avoid romance scams, but unfortunately, scammers are using new ways to bypass our human-powered efforts and thwart your efforts in finding a sister wife.

We continuously weed out bogus profiles, but it’s always a good idea to be safe online whether you’re on a dating service or not.

● Never reveal information that can lead to your physical location

● Never share information that gives someone access to your bank account or credit cards

● Never tell anyone where you work before vetting them

Be vulnerable, but trust your gut

Dating can make us feel euphoric with feel-good brain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin rushing through us. Unfortunately, these feelings can overshadow the red flags that others may be showing.

● Is the other person overly flattering?

● Do they conceal information about themselves, but always ask questions about you?

● Do their stories add up?

Lies big and small

If you consistently catch someone in a lie—no matter how small—it may be a tell-tale sign that they’re not a mature person. Worst case scenario is they’re not actually on the dating site to look for a legitimate relationship.

Asking for money

Why would anybody ask for money on a dating site, you ask? To conduct a romance scam! Never send money online to someone you don’t know, no matter how urgent they make try to make it seem.

Most suspicious are profiles that ask you to send money overseas through wire transfers or gift cards.

Wanting to meet within days of first contact

If somebody confesses their love within three days of meeting you, you’re right to feel skeptical. Our dating service allows you to video call other members to make it easier to find a sister wife who is authentic and honest, helping filter out fakes that may be after your money or targeting catfishing victims.

Don’t dox other members

Just because you get rejected by someone online does not give you the right to reveal their personal information to the world or to their circle if you are part of it. In a similar vein, some people may not be out as polygamists or polyamorists, and we should give them the opportunity to come out on their own terms.

Finding a sister wife in the digital age

Online poly dating is full of exciting new connections and poly members who want to join you on this journey. At times, online dating can feel awkward and unnatural, but treat it like you would as an in-person dating event or a casual walk through an unknown neighborhood.

There are people you will naturally gravitate toward, and there are people who you will happily pass by without greeting. Who knows, in your search to find a sister wife online, you might make a lifelong friend instead—there’s no lose-lose situation here.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc