Chris's article

Table of Contents


What Is a Quad Relationship?

As the name suggests, a quad poly relationship is a four-person partnership. When two polyamorous couples cross paths and start dating one another, this kind of polyamorous relationship frequently ensues. A complete quad is another option, in which all four people are romantically or sexually connected.

Partners in a Quad Polyamorous Relationship

Couples may get acquainted with one another when their partners connect over shared hobbies and lifestyle choices that are both relevant and appropriate. These relationships might be regarded as polyamorous as well, despite the fact that they could vary depending on the individual.

Examples of these long-standing connections in the community include some of the ones listed below:

  • Complex - where A, B, and C are dating, while A, B, and D are dating, but C and D are not dating each other.
  • Arrow - one individual is dating three people but none of them are dating each other.
  • Full - all partners are involved with one another.
  • Double - where A is dating B and C, D is dating B and C but B and C are not dating A, as well as A and D, are not dating each other.
  • Plus One - three members have a triad and one person is dating someone else.


Poly Quad Relationship and Infidelity

As with other kinds of relationships, there are poly terms and conditions involved in quadruple poly relationships as well. Your spouse can determine if the crossing of bounds counts as infidelity or a violation of your partnership contract. Depending on the structure of the relationship, infidelity can manifest itself in polyamorous relationships, including poly quad relationship.

For instance, you and your partner may decide to have an agreement to not go out on dates with other people unless you inform each other beforehand. Meanwhile, your partner decides to start going on dates with other people secretly. You can view that as a breach of the term and conditions of your poly relationship.

Are Quad Polyamorous Relationships Healthy?

Without a doubt, having a healthy poly love is possible. As opposed to common assumptions, not all of them are bad. Successful and joyful polyamorous relationships are just as possible as having a regular relationship. As with monogamous relationships, poly relationships can be joyful or unhappy based on the behavior of the couple involved. A lot of polyamorous couples are content with their relationships.

Things to Know Before Entering a Polyamorous Relationship

Educating yourself about non-monogamy and polyamory marriage before entering one is ideal for your future relationship goals. While it’s easier to learn about monogamous relationships, poly love is hard to define. Because of this, it can be much harder to handle some of the challenges peculiar to polyamory, such as overcoming jealousy. These challenges can make you feel lost and alone if you are not prepared to face them.

Therefore, it is essential that you do your research before entering a polyamorous relationship, including a poly quad relationship. Start by listening to radio and podcasts, reading books that give insights about non-monogamy, and browsing Internet forums. Another excellent method you can use is learning the vocabulary and talking about it to others.

Even if it sounds romantic, not everyone shares the objective of staying in a long-term relationship with just one person. Many views on monogamy have greatly evolved as a result of the economic, social, and health developments that have led to much longer lifespans, and more control over reproduction and children. Due to the prevalence of divorce, many people now practice serial monogamy, in which they get into one relationship at a time, fall in love, end it, and then start another one.


However, poly relationships are a type of consensual non-monogamy that stresses simultaneous emotional and sexual closeness with numerous partners, ideally with the knowledge of all individuals involved. Below are some of the goals of a poly relationship as an alternative to monogamy:


Shared Needs and Responsibilities


One’s relationship will be under a lot of stress if you expect it to provide for all of your needs, including companionship, support, co-parenting, best friends, lovers, therapists, housekeepers, paychecks, and other necessities. The expectations that emerge when this concentration diminishes other sources of support might be too much for many relationships to handle. Some monogamous couples put the couple first over other social ties in their effort to preserve sexual and emotional faithfulness. That's often not the case with polyamorous individuals.


Spreading out one's wants across several individuals allows one to meet more of them, which is one of the main advantages of poly relationships. They may have been friends, family members, ex-partners, or even lovers at times. The capacity to seek out and build relationships with others outside of your partner that are supportive of one another is more crucial than having a sexual connection. Making it easy for partners to develop a variety of friendships and support networks may benefit everyone.


Ability to Seek Help


Giving up without making an effort to resolve issues might result in the early termination of a healthy relationship that is going through a challenging time in relationships. Of course, this is true for those in monogamous and serial-monogamous relationships, which have a higher chance of success when both partners work hard to uphold and prolong the union. However, due to their complexity, polyamorous relationships need even more of this sort of labor.


Serial monogamous partnerships may also benefit from and be sustained by poly people's propensity to seek out support from others. We tend to conceal problems from friends and family when things are difficult. The alternative, according to polyamorists, is to ask your friends and neighbors for support, sympathy, and guidance. Receiving relationship coaching or professional therapy may be incredibly beneficial for coping with current problems and creating communication habits that can assist with future problems.


Flexibility and Possibilities of Change


Because they are open to trying new things, polyamorous persons are able to maintain their relationships despite these transitions. This may also be due to the fact that there are so few role models for consensually non-monogamic relationships that polyamorous individuals frequently improvise. For both polyamorous and monogamous people, attempting something new may be quite successful if the current relationship isn't working.


This might include altering one's expectations and letting go of old habits, which can be both energizing and terrifying. Families may be resilient if they can adjust to changing circumstances, and polyamorous families frequently have to do this as they accommodate numerous partners, leading to novel family and emotional configurations. Polyamorous families experiment with different approaches, restructure their interactions, and keep an open mind to other options in order to handle their unusual family situations.


Personal Growth Opportunities


Without a doubt, polyamory is emotionally difficult. Every love connection involves jealousy, insecurity, and other undesirable feelings. However, polyamorists attempt to confront difficult feelings rather than attempt to escape them.


People in long-term polyamorous relationships assert that the key to handling potentially difficult or painful emotions is a combination of reflection and open communication. Polyamorous persons are frequently forced to either come to know themselves—or to give up polyamory—by having to confront their self-doubts, question their own motivations and assess their own boundaries.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


Are you looking to enter a poly relationship? Consider joining a dating app for polyamorists. Other than the obvious options like geolocation, preference-based filtering, privacy protections, and security measures, there are top dating app features that are designed to boost user-to-user engagement. In this guide, we've outlined various dating app features that qualify the best poly dating app for you so that you can make the right choice.


Advanced Search


When it comes to choosing a spouse, everyone can already picture who they want based on certain speculations. While some people only want a friend or a date, others may be in search of a long-term companion. In addition, people may have preferences about things like age, religion, gender, or zodiac sign. It is essential to offer extensive search options with filters in order to enable users to focus their search. To quickly get the necessary results, the filter you choose would be built utilizing tight algorithms.


In-app Chat and Messaging


A dating app must include text messaging, but users want full-featured chat with voice notes, videos, and image filters. It improves user interactions and increases the likelihood of real-world relationships by making conversation less formal and more engaging.


Voice and Video Calling


Users may go beyond text chat into something more intimate and personal with voice and video calling services, which with filters also provide your app a chance to make money by making this a paid premium feature. Using an app that features voice and video calling gives you a shot at developing a bond quicker with your ideal partner.


Gamified User Profiles


A vital component of every dating app is the user profile, which is at the top of any dating site feature list. Typically, it includes some fundamental details like gender, age, location, a clever slogan to add personality, a list of hobbies, and a few pictures. Basic user profiles alone, however, have very little, if any, influence on user engagement, as we have observed with various dating applications and platforms.


Using a dating app with this feature will assist you in creating your own engaging profiles that allow you to express your unique personality.


Profile Recommendation


To assist users in locating their ideal match on the app for romance, love, and dating, the majority of dating apps provide a search function or filtering options. However, AI has the potential to elevate this entire situation by automatically showing or endorsing the profiles that correspond to your relationship preferences or search filter that you have specified in your profile.


Ice Breakers


It doesn't follow that users would start the first chat on their own even after a match has been formed. The reason is that making the initial move might be scary for many individuals. In this situation, icebreakers are useful.


Using an app that provides you with simple icebreakers like trivia and rapid-fire questions to help you start a discussion with an ideal partner is necessary. This helps you to find people interested in having or being in poly relationships.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


Having more than one spouse or wife, but officially polygyny is defined as having more women than males. Polyandry occurs when a woman has more than one spouse. Around the world, it comes in a variety of forms. In certain societies, brothers will share a single lady. In some, a father and his son share a woman. In some, men have several wives; in Ethiopia's Arsi area, that number might reach 11. In many cases, a widow's brothers, father, or even a son by another woman inherit the estate of her deceased husband.


Many nations have laws that protect women's rights, even if polygamy rules are often biased against women and enable males to have numerous marriages. For instance, in Burkina Faso, where polygamy is widespread, the couple must initially agree that the union would be polygamous before the husband is permitted to take another wife. Before granting a marriage contract with a second wife in Djibouti, a court takes into consideration the opinions of the current wives and looks into the husband's socioeconomic status.


How Common are Polygamous Relationships?


More than a thousand societies were surveyed by the University of Wisconsin in 1998. Only 186 of them were monogamous. 453 people experienced polygyny on occasion, and 588 more people had it rather frequently. Four of them were polyandrous.


Polygamy has allegedly been the norm throughout human history, according to certain anthropologists. According to a 2003 article in the New Scientist magazine, up until 10,000 years ago, very few males had fathered the majority of offspring. According to DNA variations, the distribution of X chromosomes indicated that certain males may have contributed more genes to the gene pool than others. However, the majority of women appeared to be able to pass on their genes. According to this, humans were at least "mildly polygynous" like their monkey ancestors.


The animist and Muslim populations of West Africa frequently practice polygamy. For instance, in Senegal, many women are reportedly involved in approximately 47% of marriages. In many Arab countries, it is still quite high; in Israel, it is around 30% among the Bedouin population. As many as 10,000 conservative Mormons, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, lived in polygamous homes in 2005.


How Did Polygamy Begin?


It is unknown to everyone, however, there are hints. It is especially prevalent in regions where pre-colonial economic activity was centered on subsistence farming, which demands a large amount of labor, with Africa serving as a notable example. High infant mortality rates might have a role; when many kids don't live past the age of five, families need more than one child-bearer to remain financially stable.


Next comes war. Having more than one wife increases the population most quickly when a lot of males die. A male figure could form more military and political connections the more wives he had. The number of spouses a man had become a measure of his wealth and position. A bigger family became something to be proud of, while a smaller one became a failure and disgrace signal. In contrast, polyandry is a strategy for controlling population increase in societies when there are insufficient resources and too many people. No matter how many spouses a woman has, she can only have a certain number of children. These factors were frequently overtly political.


Were Politics an Influence on Polygamy?


It was a societal practice to marry widows in order to provide for orphans. The Prophet Mohamed married several of his additional wives—a total of nine—because they were battle widows. He was in a monogamous relationship for 25 years until his first wife passed away. The Koran permits a Muslim to wed up to four women, but only provided he is capable of providing for them all equally. Similar widow inheritance practices were common in many traditional African civilizations in order to preserve the extended family and its assets.


Other political figures have benefited from similar advantages throughout history. In Germany, the Nüremberg parliament ruled in 1650 that each male might wed up to 10 women because so many men had died in the Thirty Years' War. President Bashir of Sudan advised males to have many wives in 2001, stating that China and India's enormous populations were to blame for those countries' quick economic progress.


What Does Polygamy Have to Do with Religion?


Christianity views polygamy as an insult to the value of marriage and maintains that a man and wife must have an undivided, exclusive, and mutual love. However, Krishna, a Hindu deity, had 16,108 wives. Several of the older men in the Hebrew scriptures, such as Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon, practiced polygamy. Concubines were also acceptable in Confucianism, but only in order to produce an heir, not for sexual diversity. Marriages for pleasure, which are also expressly forbidden by the Koran, are common among Muslim males, yet many do not.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


Most Western nations are often astonished to learn that many people have many wives. But is it really so unusual, and may there be advantages for everyone? It's definitely feasible to understand how to be happy in a polygamous marriage. Understanding polygamous marriages go beyond merely being aware of their legal ramifications. In order for everyone to be happy, the structure and rules of equality must be established.


Being the second wife of your husband doesn't mean you are a second choice or that you have to go through struggles throughout. There are advantages to being the second wife in a family that many don't talk about. Keep reading to learn the benefits of being the second wife in a polygamous relationship.


Access to Proper Guidance


The first wife of your husband can be the guide you need to enjoy a smooth transition into the married lifestyle. Since she already has the experience, she can put you through what is expected of you, what to do, and what not to do. This will help you avoid mistakes on how to run the home and other responsibilities.


Sharing Chores and Child-Bearing Responsibilities


When pondering "how do polygamous marriages function?", collaboration is used as an apparent example. For instance, while juggling a full-time job, the women can assist one another with the kids.

A polygamous marriage may experience difficulties and jealousy as a result. However, one method to get around this is the possible sisterhood that can emerge. Being the second wife means you don't have to do it all alone as you will always have a companion around to assist you when needed.


Freedom from Social Rules


In certain nations, women now have more choices over their fertility and financial independence than they had a few decades ago. Whereas in the past men could have had several mistresses, divorce is now more often accepted in the Western world. This implies that everyone might have several relationships in their lives.


Whatever the case, having a mistress is deceptive, and divorce is emotionally damaging. Maybe managing everyone's expectations is simpler if polygamous marriage encourages a more open and honest relationship. Since society shouldn't dictate how we live, why should it? There are many different variations of living arrangements available nowadays in addition to polygamous marriage.


Being the second wife to a man that already has kids, you don't have to worry about childbirth or other things society expects from a woman. According to an NYU study, many spouses in the West want to live apart, which is the exact opposite of a polygamous marriage. But who is to determine what will work for you?


Security and Protection


Protecting oneself from a culture that is harsh on lone women is one of the key reasons for polygamous marriage. A polygamous family can also pool their resources and help one another. Additionally, they may count on a larger number of future offspring to contribute. Being the other wife gives you protection against the harsh cultural values of your society. 








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


Thanksgiving for poly folks can be complicated, to say the least. Who’s cooking? Where is dinner, and what time? Are Mom and Dad comfortable with hosting your new girlfriend–if you’re married already?


The big feast should be about gratitude and celebrating abundance, but it can be tricky to navigate for people new to poly relationships. Here are several ways to figure out how to split time fairly between people in a poly arrangement.


Schedule


Depending on your schedule, you and your partners might decide whose family’s dinner to attend. Does your work schedule permit you to take the day off, allowing you to drive the few hours out to mom’s house?


Or, do you have an early morning the day after Thanksgiving and need to stay close–which means you’ll be attending your partner’s family’s dinner, which is just a ten-minute drive? This is a logical way to divvy up time between multiple families, and it can take the headache out of planning long day trips to families who live further away.


Holiday preferences


For some people, Thanksgiving is just another day. If you’re not much of a holiday person, then it’s reasonable to assume that you’ll be spending the day with your partners’ families, instead. 


Another idea is to split the holidays between different families such as New Year’s with your family, Thanksgiving with Partner 1, Christmas with Partner 2, and so on, depending on each person’s favorite day to celebrate with their families.


Between sister wives and shared children, it may be easier to do a joint dinner at someone’s house or a small venue such as a restaurant. This eliminates hard feelings about which family is ‘prioritized,’ and allows the family to spend quality time together.


Switch dinners every year


If discussions are getting heated over which family you’re meeting for Thanksgiving, it may be helpful to draft up with an official agreement. One compromise is to switch between families every year, which is a great approach for polygamists who don’t want the hassle of planning from scratch every year.


Split the day


For budding poly relationships with more than three people, it may be more sensible to split the day instead of switching venues year by year. Ask Family 1 if you can do an early brunch or lunch instead of dinner, then head to Family 2 for dinner. If there’s a Family 3, try to make it for the after-dinner activities or explicitly make post-dinner plans such as family game night.


Thursday with family, Friday with poly circle


Although Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday, you can celebrate gratitude any day. Many people in poly relationships spend Thanksgiving Day with their biological families and then spend Friday night with their poly circle and friends. This arrangement can also ease the pressure off of partners who may not be out to their families just yet, or partners with conservative families.


Other tips for Thanksgiving for poly people


Going into the holidays, it can be tempting to use Thanksgiving or Christmas as a way to ‘test’ your relationship with a new partner. However, it may not be a smart idea to place that kind of pressure on a new relationship, especially under circumstances they cannot control. For example, just because they choose to attend their other partner’s family dinner and not yours does not indicate that they love you any less.


Here are a few more ways to be more compassionate and intentional during Thanksgiving.


● If possible, don’t choose this day to introduce new partners or come out as poly to your family, especially if you’ll be a guest at somebody else’s home.

● If you don’t feel comfortable bringing your partners to a family event, host your own dinner where you can set the rules instead of suppressing your identity or your partners’.

● Respect your partners’ wishes if they don’t want to meet your family just yet or face conservative family members.

● Have a discussion with partners about their expectations for the holidays.

● Talk about anything that may not have gone to plan after–and talk about the best strategy moving forward.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


There's a chance the sexual culture being cultivated by Millennials can diminish the environment of harassment and assault that's plagued so many workplaces.


From Matt Lauer to Louis C.K., and now Asia Argento and (allegedly) Avitel Ronnell, unwanted sexual advances made by highly accomplished, older, and otherwise highly intelligent people have left us wondering what, exactly, informs such widespread abusive behavior.


One explanation centers on power. Money and prestige—qualities that foster the kind of intimidation confronted by the #MeToo movement—come with age, and can both erode judgment and foster coercive behavior. As the economist Teresa Ghilarducci explains in Psychology Today, "Money, not sex, is at the root of #Metoo." Assuredly, there's something to this argument.


But there's also a deeper history to consider. Most of the abusers identified by the #MeToo movement came of age in an era of conflicting sexual norms. The sexual revolution of the 1960s and '70s brought Americans greater access to birth control, and, in countercultural circles at least, experimentation with free love. At the same time, conventional marriage—heterosexual and monogamous—remained the sanctioned end goal of the mainstream. So often the establishment looked at the sexual expression with begrudging acceptance—so long as the weirdos, after sowing their oats, began finally acting like the Cleavers.


Might the clash of these competing expectations—premarital freedom and marital monogamy—have fostered a dysfunctional sexual identity that's especially predisposed to abuse others? Might the brief taste of sexual liberation followed by the early expectation of monogamy lead to repression, frustration, a failure to communicate as sexual selves, and, alas, for some, an abusive response?


The idea is only a hypothesis. One way to start testing its validity might be to look at the emerging sexual habits and ideologies of Millennials (and Gen Z). On the one hand, people in their 20s and 30s are growing up in a culture that, largely through social media, is infused with sexual content—porn, porn, and porn—to an unprecedented degree. Some view this exposure as a sign of liberation. But we are also well aware of the dangers, especially for young women, of this chronic exposure to graphic content, dangers that include cyberbullying, revenge porn, and sexual aggression. "Sexually explicit material or pornography," according to a meta-analysis of the relevant scientific research, is associated with "a greater likelihood of perpetuating sexual coercion."


On the other hand, the easy prevalence of sexual themes and content also fosters, according to the same meta-analysis, "more permissive sexual attitudes." This permissiveness, notably, has not led to greater promiscuity among young adults. According to one study, American adults born in the 1980s and '90s had the same number of sexual partners as Baby Boomers born between 1946 and 1964. Contrary to the stereotype of a "hook-up generation," young adults are also waiting longer to have sex. And while greater sexual permissiveness has not coincided with greater promiscuity, it has emerged alongside a broader tolerance for multiple partners and open arrangements, skepticism of marriage and childrearing, and a radical openness to all gendered and sexual identities.


At the core of these expanding attitudes is a suspicion of monogamy. According to a 2016 study, nearly 20 percent of people who are under 30 and in a serious relationship have engaged in sex outside of their relationship with their partner's knowledge. Nearly half interviewed expressed some level of tolerance for consensual non-monogamy. Endorsing this perspective, and perhaps speaking for her own generation, the actress Scarlett Johannson said, "I don't think it's natural to be a monogamous person."


Boomers throw up their hands at this news and lament the end of romance. But tolerance of non-monogamy demands something the Boomers, half of whom are divorced, did not practice especially well themselves: constant communication. Non-monogamous seekers of multiple relationships are more obligated to discuss boundaries, needs, and desires than are monogamous couples (who can more easily go on auto-pilot). Whereas some have hypothesized that Millennials are in desperate need of relationship guidance, Bjarne Holmes, a Chapman University communications professor, explains how "People in these [non-monogamous] relationships really communicate.... They are potentially doing quite a lot of things that could turn out to be things that if people practicing monogamy did more of, their relationships might be better off."


According to Karen Trask, director of Loving More, a non-profit dedicated to fostering polyamorous arrangements, polyamory is increasingly popular with Millennials. Trask works closely with all age groups to support polyamorous relationships (which can be sexual or platonic or even alternate between both). But she notes that, while overall interest in polyamory is "on the rise," "this growth appears to be driven by the 20-something crowd."


And their approach, she suggests, is unusually tolerant and communicative. She says people in their 20s are "much more comfortable exploring polyamory" and that, in so doing, "they are constantly dealing with a need to communicate better"—about jealously, family, sexual health, wants and needs, and so on. "They're really lucky," she adds, "to be more exposed through the Internet and social media" to options beyond monogamy. They're also lucky to be more accepted by society if polyamory is a path they choose.


Polyamory isn't going mainstream anytime soon. But to the extent that its growing acceptance portends a larger cultural shift away from the demands of monogamy (both within marriage and not), and to the extent that this shift is complemented by healthy communication over sexual issues, the conflicting cultural norms that plagued those raised in the 1960s and '70s may yield to a sexual culture that, while more exposed to graphic sex, is nonetheless less repressed, no more promiscuous, better able to discuss sexual desire, and, no matter how powerful a person is, cognizant that we all have boundaries.


Sex and power might be inseparable, but it will be interesting to see if the sexual culture being cultivated by Millennials diminishes the need for an ongoing #MeToo movement. Interestingly, the little research that's been done comparing the generational responses to #MeToo indicates that older women are more likely to be silent about harassment and less likely to say that men should lose their jobs for harassment, while younger women are more likely to tolerate flirting in the workplace. In other words, the Millennials might be saying: Sexual banter is fine. Coercion is not. The world is changing. So let's talk.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


In a study of polygamous marriages in the Middle East and Africa, it was found that women who practice polygamy are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem and marital dissatisfaction than women in monogamous relationships.


When you think about it, it makes sense. Sister wives may find themselves ‘competing’ for attention and affection from their shared husband, and in general, there are so many more factors to juggle in polygamous marriages than there are in monogamous relationships. All these intertwined lives mean that paying attention to mental, emotional, and physical health (wellness) is all the more important for people who practice polygamy.


What is wellness?


Wellness can be described as your overall state of being in terms of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (Financial wellness is also a factor.)  It’s a qualitative measurement of your mindset, mood, or health, and it affects all of us, not just people in poly relationships.


But, being in a poly relationship means wellness can’t be ignored. Practicing polygamy means facing emotions when they arise. Otherwise, the relationship is doomed to fail..


The impact of polygamy on mental health


No doubt that polygamous relationships abound with beautiful advantages like a wider support network and more financial help. However, poly marriages also come with their own brand of challenges.


One of the biggest is overcoming jealousy as a sister wife. When a husband seems to prefer a wife (or household) over others, this can create tension and negative energy within all the sister wives’ relationships.


Another difficulty in polygamy is keeping an identity separate from being a spouse and/or mother. When we put so much of our love and labor into our relationships, we often forget to check in with ourselves and make sure that we’re meeting our own needs and following our own dreams.


A disconnect between a sister wife identity and our long-term goals can lead to feelings of loneliness, discontent, and even resentment. What can help is to set aside time for checking in with our emotions.


Although poly relationships come with an automatic support system, our mental health is our responsibility. If we don’t learn to give ourselves the love and support we need, it can turn our relationships into a pool of drama and toxic cycles.


How to navigate mental health in poly relationships


The good news is that mental health is always a work in progress, and there are many avenues for help to follow.


1. Lean on your loved ones


Your first line of defense against fighting mental illness or relationship woes comprises your significant others, family members, and friends. Chances are, they may not always be able to help you overcome deeper scars like childhood trauma or marital battles.


2. Get treatment


For these, a trained counselor or therapist can help you reframe your thinking or create a mental health plan to get you on track to wellness. Both pharma and non-pharma modalities are fantastic sources of respite and ammunition against mental illness and negativity.


Counseling, therapy, meditation, acupuncture, group support activities, and new hobbies are just a few ways that may bring balance.


3. Be your own advocate


Even though your husband and sister wives may have your best interests at heart, you are responsible for your wellness at the end of the day. When there are issues in the relationship that are affecting your health (whether it’s the way family time is distributed among sister wives or how much each household contributes to the family budget), it’s on you to bring it up in an honest, respectful way.


Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself—you deserve a peaceful mind and healthy body, too.


Ways to improve wellness in poly relationships


There are many ways to stay happy and healthy in a polygamous relationship.


1. Spend time with yourself


Relationships can sometimes feel suffocating if you’re with your loved ones every hour of every day. Sometimes it can’t be helped, and wanting to get away doesn’t mean you love each other any less.


Alone time is crucial to fulfilling your mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. We suggest taking a weekend trip every now and then or taking an hour or two a day to de-stress and reflect on whatever may be weighing you down.


2. Get social


In the same vein, your mental health may be suffering if you’re not getting the social interactions we need as humans. Though some of us are more introverted than others, interacting with people outside of immediate family is vital to wellness.


When you want to cultivate new communities outside of your marriage, starting a new hobby or activity is a good place to start. Try volunteering with a local group or joining a hands-on class like pottery, walking, or improv. You never know what beautiful friendships you can make—or what hidden talents you might unearth.


3. Be kind


Around family members and significant others, we tend to talk more freely because we know that our relationship will bounce back no matter what hurtful or strong words are exchanged. The beauty of marriage and familial bonds is unconditional love, but some fights can create irreparable damage to a relationship.


During disagreements, remember to be kind. Take a few breaths or walk out of the room if you feel like your emotions are speaking for you through vicious words.


4. Respect others’ communication styles


In addition to being kind, remember that not everyone communicates in the same way. You probably know how your husband or sister wife acts when they are upset. Try to take what they say or do during arguments with a grain of salt.


For instance, if your husband is known to take a few days in silence to process what was said during an emotional time, remember that this is his way of dealing with a problem. It does not reflect how he feels about you or your marriage.


5. Take care of your needs


From consistent, high-quality sleep to regular, nutritious meals, you’ll feel better when you take care of your urgent needs. This frees you up to think of ‘deeper’ issues like solving relationship pain points or making career decisions.


Wellness and marital success


Some health concerns are with us for a lifetime, but this shouldn’t stop us from putting our best selves forward in our marriage and relationships. Step into your best self every day by making wellness a priority in your life. When we’re mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually well, we’re more capable of nurturing our relationships.









Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


One of the growing trends in the dating world, not just among polygamous relationships, is the growing importance of vaccine status. In a survey by Pew Research Center from July 2022, 47% of the respondents who had used a dating site or app in the past year said COVID-19 vaccination status was at least somewhat important when looking at someone’s dating profile, and 23% said this information is very important to them.


What does this shift mean for polygamous relationships and poly dating services?


Why vaccine status matters more in polygamous homes


Poly relationships can include as few as two people up to dozens, depending on whether the group has children, is casually dating, is cohabiting, etc. With this many people involved, taking risks with safety issues like pandemic and vaccination statuses is neither practical nor responsible.


If anything, the pandemic has shown us that polygamous families (as well as multi-generational households) are more vulnerable to infectious diseases such as COVID-19.


Case in point: TLC’s Sister Wives


In the newest seasons of Sister Wives, Kody’s strict pandemic rules were a pain point for the sister wives. While it can be argued that Kody had everyone’s best interests at heart by enforcing social distancing and quarantine rules, he seemed to cherry-pick from his guidelines at his convenience.


For example, he missed one of his children’s major surgery appointments because he allegedly wanted to avoid travel and keep the rest of his family safe during peak pandemic times. Fans (and the sister-wives) were quick to notice that Kody stopped making his rotations and stayed with Robyn and their shared children for the bulk of the pandemic.


Although Kody approached COVID-19 best practices from a misguided direction, it still stands that polygamous and polyamorous relationships were put on pause during the pandemic, more so than their monogamous counterparts.


Frequent meetings between multiple households simply weren’t feasible when there was a highly contagious disease around, and some polygamy dating sites adapted to these circumstances.


What this means for poly dating sites


Poly dating sites have been catering to different needs and current events since the COVID-19 pandemic was announced in 2020.


1. Vaccine status as a deciding factor


In the survey I mentioned, many respondents said that seeing vaccine status was at least somewhat important or very important on someone’s dating profile. Some companies have allowed users to display badges on their dating profiles in the past, and many users simply indicate their status on their dating profile bio.


2. Political affiliation is now important on dating sites, too


Like any hot topic, vaccination is often a political debate. Of the survey respondents, 53% said it is at least somewhat important to see someone’s political affiliation on their dating profile, while 18% say it is very important.


Moving forward, it may be more common to see someone’s political affiliation on dating sites. This seems a natural shift particularly for polygamy dating sites since polyamory and polygamous marriage are polarizing issues discussed through a sociopolitical lens.


3. More video calls and phone calls before in-person meetings


To practice caution and safety, people on dating sites are having more video dates and phone call conversations before they meet in person. The report found that  28% of Americans who used dating sites in the past year have gone on a virtual date first either by phone or video call. 


Video calling (available on reliable poly dating sites like Sister Wives) helps prevent romance scams by vetting a person before you meet, and it’s also necessary when physical meetings aren’t feasible, like during a pandemic.


What this means for poly dating


COVID-19 may have taken a lot from us, but it has also renewed a sense of mindfulness when it comes to poly dating.


1. Take more time getting to know people


This shift to a slower, more careful way of dating is another trend we see in monogamy and polygamy dating. Now, we draw important information from someone’s vaccination status and political leanings, on top of their career choice, hobbies, and other interests.


2. Prioritize emotional fulfillment over immediate physical needs


When we don’t (or can’t) jump into relationships due to external factors like COVID-19, we prioritize emotional fulfillment as opposed to dating as many people as we can. Another unintended consequence of the pandemic and the vaccination status trend is increased sexual safety.


Fewer physical interactions and higher risks associated with meeting someone for the first time have led to more caution in the bedroom.


3. Less spontaneous outings


In the same vein, people who date are less likely to go on spontaneous outings that involve alcohol and other risk factors. Meetings are more intentional and mindful, especially for people who are in a polygamy relationship and who have to consider multiple people’s safety and their own.


4. Increase in communication, openness, and vulnerability


When we’re more mindful about who and how we date, we put our needs first. Dating trends show that we’re now more open about telling potential partners what we want out of a relationship - a phenomenon called ‘prioridating.’


We seek a single priority in dating someone, whether it’s emotional support, financial wellness, or sexual satisfaction. This way of thinking in poly dating allows us to view relationships as a mutually enriching experience, not something that just takes from our emotional, financial, or mental wells.


Vaccine status and well-being in a poly relationship


Ultimately, asking for someone’s vaccine status allows us to prioritize our health and well-being. The shift towards being open about vaccination status (and whatever political affiliations it comes with) has trickled over to another trend, which is being more open about our needs and relationship priorities.


Loss, health scares, and mental exhaustion is part of the COVID-19 aftermath, but the poly dating world may be better off by emphasizing mindful habits, honest communication, and self-care.








Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc


Table of Contents


Definition of Polygamy

What is the true meaning of polygamy? The practice of marrying numerous spouses is known as polygamy (from the Late Greek "state of many spouses"). Polygyny is the term used by sociologists to describe when a guy has more than one wife at the same time. Polyandry is the practice of a woman marrying multiple husbands at the same time. Group marriage is defined as a marriage that involves multiple husbands and wives.

Monogamy, on the other hand, is defined as a marriage between just two people. Like "monogamy," the term "polygamy" is frequently used in a de facto meaning, regardless of whether the state recognizes the relationship. Polygamy is a wide term used by academics in sociobiology and zoology to describe any multiple mating.


Polygamy in Different Cultures

Polygamy is either encouraged, accepted, or outlawed in many civilizations across the world. Polygyny is acceptable in the great majority of societies that allow or tolerate polygamy. According to the Ethnographic Atlas (1998), 588 of the 1,231 cultures studied had frequent polygyny, 453 had occasional polygyny, 186 were monogamous, and 4 had polyandry; nevertheless, new research shows polyandry is more prevalent than previously assumed. There have been mentions of polygamy in the bible. "The Bible mentions over 36 identified males who had more than one wife," says a religious scholar. Polygamy is typically linked to class and social position in societies where it is practiced.

In many nations, while marriage is officially monogamous (a person can only have one spouse, and bigamy is prohibited), adultery is not, resulting in a scenario where de facto polygamy is permitted but without legal recognition for non-official "spouses."

Based on surveys of world populations and features of human reproductive physiology, scientific research has shown that the human mating system is fairly polygynous.


What Are the Three Types of Polygamy?

There are three kinds of polygamy:

  • Polygyny is a condition in which a guy has several wives at once.
  • Polyandry is a type of polygamy in which a woman has several spouses at the same time.
  • Multiple men and wives create a family unit in a group marriage.

Some species, such as the common fruit fly Drosophila melanogaster, are polygamous.

Polygyny

Incidence

The most frequent type of polygamy is polygyny, which is when a man has many wives at the same time. Polygyny is allowed in many Muslim-majority and Muslim-majority nations and some secular ones to various degrees.

Polygyny is more common in Africa than in any other continent, particularly in West Africa. Some historians believe that the slave trade's influence on the male-to-female sex ratio was a significant role in the rise and strengthening of polygynous behaviors in African countries.

In most Sub-Saharan African civilizations, anthropologist Jack Goody's comparative study of marriage using the Ethnographic Atlas revealed a historical link between widespread shifting horticulture and polygamy. Goody adds that the gender distribution of labor differs between male-dominated intense plow-agriculture in Eurasia and widespread shifting horticulture in Sub-Saharan Africa, citing the work of Ester Boserup. Women perform the majority of the struggle in parts of Africa's sparsely inhabited shifting agriculture areas. It encourages polygamous marriages, where males seek to dominate women "that are valued both as laborers and as child bearers." Goody, on the other hand, points out that the correlation is imperfect and varied and discusses more traditionally male-dominated but relatively extensive farming systems like those found in much of West Africa, particularly in the West African savanna, where polygyny is desired more for the creation of male offspring whose labor is valued.

In their book "Causes of Polygyny: Ecology, Economy, Kinship, and Warfare," anthropologists Douglas R. White and Michael L. Burton examine and defend Jack Goody's findings of African male farming systems, writing, "Goody (1973) speaks against the female contributions theory." He refers to Dorjahn's (1959) comparison of East and West Africa, which shows higher female agricultural contributions in East Africa and higher polygyny rates in West Africa, particularly in the West African savanna, where male agricultural subsidies are particularly strong. "The motivations for polygyny are sexual and reproductive rather than economic and productive," writes Goody (1973:189), claiming that men marry polygonally to maximize their fertility and establish huge families with many young dependent males.

Types of polygyny

There are two forms of polygynous marriages: sororal polygyny, in which the co-wives are sisters, and non-sororal polygyny, in which the co-wives are not related. Polygyny permits men to have more offspring, may supply them with a bigger number of productive employees (where those workers are family), and helps them to have politically beneficial relationships with a wider number of kin groupings. Senior women may also profit from the addition of younger wives to the household since it reduces their workload. Spouses' standing in society might arise with the arrival of additional wives who contribute to the family's riches or signify ostentatious expenditure (much like how a large house, domestic help, and expensive vacations operate in a western country). For these reasons, senior women may occasionally work longer hours or donate money from their own pockets to help their husbands save enough for the bride price of a second wife.

Levirate marriage can potentially result in polygyny. In such circumstances, the deceased man's heirs may inherit his possessions and wife, or his brothers may marry the widow, which is more common. It offers assistance for the widow and her children (general members of the brothers' kin group) while also keeping the husbands' and wives' kin groups together. A widower must marry his late wife's sister in the sorority, similar to the levirate. In other words, the late wife's relatives must find someone to replace her to keep the marriage together. A guy can have numerous wives through both levirate and sorority.

In monogamous civilizations, affluent and powerful men maintained long-term relationships with many female companions and set up separate households for them, in addition to their lawful spouses; this practice was allowed in Imperial China until the Qing Dynasty (1636-1912). It is known as concubinage, which is a type of de facto polygyny.

Household organization

Marriage is the beginning of a new home; however, depending on the type of marriage, different arrangements may arise, and some polygamous marriages do not establish a single household. In many polygynous marriages, the husband's wives may reside in separate houses, sometimes far apart. As a result, they may be defined as a "collection of connected nuclear families that share a father."

Polyandry

Incidence

Polyandry, or having many husbands simultaneously, is far less common than polygyny and is currently banned in almost every country on the planet. Only isolated communities are affected.

Polyandry is thought to be more common in civilizations with limited natural resources because it is believed to decrease the human population and improve infant survival. It is an uncommon type of marriage found not just among the impoverished but also among the wealthy. Polyandry, for example, is linked to the land shortage in the Himalayan Mountains; marrying all of a family's brothers to the same bride permits family land to stay intact and undivided. [Required citation] Family land would be divided into unsustainable tiny parcels if each brother married and produced children independently.

Types of polyandry

Nomadic Tibetans in Nepal, portions of China, and northern India used to practice fraternal polyandry, in which two or more brothers married the same lady. It is particularly prevalent in civilizations with a high male death rate. It's linked to partible paternity, the notion that a kid can have many fathers.

Non-fraternal polyandry occurs when the wives' husbands are unrelated. In the Nayar tribe of India, females marry before puberty, and their first husbands are recognized as a father of all their offspring. On the other hand, the lady is forbidden from cohabiting with that guy and must instead take several lovers; these men must pay the midwife to certify the paternity of their children (and so establish that no caste rules have been broken). The ladies live with their brothers in their maternal house, and property is passed down through the generations. Walking marriage, a matrilineal, de facto polyandry practiced by the Mosuo tribe of China, is a comparable form of matrilineal, de facto polyandry.

Group Marriage

Group marriage is one in which the family unit consists of more than two spouses. Each of them shares parental responsibility for any children born as a result of the union. Non-monogamy and polyamory are both forms of group marriage.

Serial Monogamy as Polygamy

Serial monogamy refers to remarriage after a monogamous marriage ends in the divorce or death of one of the spouses, i.e., numerous marriages but only one legal spouse at a time (a series of monogamous relationships).

Serial monogamy, which includes divorce and remarriage, is considered a type of polygamy by anthropologists since it may create a succession of houses connected by shared fatherhood and shared wealth, according to Danish academic Miriam K. Zeiten. As a result, they resemble the family structures that result from divorce and serial monogamy.

The "ex-" is a new type of relative created by serial monogamy. For example, the "ex-wife" can remain an active participant in her "ex-husband's" life since they may be linked by legally or informally required economic assistance, such as alimony, child support, and joint custody, which can endure for years. Bob Simpson points out that in the case of the United Kingdom, it forms an "extended family," or a group of homes linked together in this way, including mobile children, noting that Britons may have ex-wives or ex-brothers-in-law, but not ex-children. These "unclear families," he claims, do not conform to the monogamous nuclear family model.


Attitudes about Polygamy in Today's Religions

Polygamy in Hinduism

According to the Rig Veda, a man may have more than one wife during the Vedic time. Epics like the Ramayana and Mahabharata include references to the practice. The Dharmashastras allow a man to marry a woman from a lower caste if his first wife is also from a lower caste. Even though it existed, it was most commonly performed by males of higher castes and positions. Only if the first wife was unable to bear a son was a second marriage permitted.

The number of spouses is related to the caste system, according to Vishnu Smriti:

  • In the direct sequence of the (four) castes, a Brāhmaṇa may now have four wives.
  • A Kshatriya, three;
  • A Vaishya, two;
  • A Shudra, one only.

Baudhayana Dharmasutra and Paraskara Grihyasutra establish this relationship between the number of permissible spouses and the caste system.

If the first wife cannot fulfill her religious obligations or bear a son, the Apastamba Dharmasutra and Manusmriti allow for a second wife.

Only one wife may be the primary consort of a Brahmana, performing religious ceremonies (Dharma-Patni) alongside the husband. The primary consort had to be from the same caste as him. The eldest wife is the primary consort if a guy marries numerous women from the same caste. Hindu rulers frequently had more than one wife, and the texts often ascribe four wives to them. Mahisi, the primary consort, Parivrkti, who had no son,Vaivata, the favored wife, and Palagali, the daughter of the last of the court officials, were among them.

Polyandry, where a woman marries more than one guy, is another tradition that isn't extensively recorded. The Pandavas were five spouses for Draupadi in the Mahabharat epic.

If the first wife was unable to bear a son, Hindu tradition permitted polygamy.

Polygamy in India was declared illegal in 1955 by the Hindu Marriage Act, which the Indian Parliament adopted. Hindus were allowed to practice polygamy before 1955. The religion of the parties in issue determines the marriage rules in India.

Polygamy in Buddhism

Marriage is not a sacrament in Buddhism. It is entirely a secular affair in which monks do not participate. However, priests and monks do marry in some groups. As a result, it is not religiously sanctioned. As a result, marriage forms differ from country to country. "A man who is not happy with one lady and seeks out other ladies is on the path to decline," according to the Parabhava Sutta. Other bits of Buddhist scriptures appear to be critical of polygamy, leading some scholars to conclude that Buddhism as a whole opposes it or that it is an accepted but inferior marriage arrangement.

Thailand acknowledged polygyny until 2010. Since 2015, Myanmar has made polygyny illegal. Polyandry was used in Sri Lanka until recently (albeit not widely). Others' concubines were added to the list of unsuitable spouses when Buddhist teachings were translated into Chinese. Polyandry, like polygyny, was prevalent in Tibet in the past, and having several wives or husbands was never seen as having sex with unsuitable people. In today's world, Tibet is home to the world's largest and most prosperous polyandrous society. Typically, fraternal polyandry is practiced, however in certain cases, father and son share a bride, creating a world-first family arrangement. There are also other types of marriage, such as group marriage and monogamy. In Bhutan, Ladakh, and other regions of the Indian subcontinent, polyandry (particularly fraternal polyandry) is also popular among Buddhists.

Polygamy in Celtic Traditions

Although the Celtic peoples fluctuated between polygamy, monogamy, and polyandry depending on the period and region, certain pre-Christian Celtic pagans practiced it. The Brehon Laws of Gaelic Ireland, for example, clearly allowed for polygamy, especially among the aristocratic class, even after Christianization began. Polygamy is tolerated to different degrees in certain current Celtic pagan faiths. However, it is unknown how common the practice is.

Polygamy in Judaism

Exodus 21:10 says, "If he takes another wife for himself, her food, clothes, and the marital obligation must not be diminished." Deuteronomy 21:15–17 indicates that a man must give the inheritance owed to a firstborn son to the son who was born first, even if he despises that boy's mother and prefers another woman. Deuteronomy 17:17 states that a king must not have too many wives.

With the prefix "to," the Torah may distinguish between concubines and "sub-standard" brides (e.g., lit. "took to wives"). Despite these variations in the biblical attitude on polygamy, several prominent characters, such as Esau (Gen 26:34; 28:6-9), Jacob (Gen 29:15-28), Elkanah (1 Samuel 1:1-8), David (1 Samuel 25:39-44; 2 Samuel 3:2-5; 5:13-16), and Solomon (1 Samuel 25:39-44; 2 Samuel 3:2-5; 5:13-16), had multiple wives (1 Kings 11:1-3).

In the case of famine, widowhood, or female infertility, multiple marriages were regarded as a viable option, as in the practice of levirate marriage, in which a man was obligated to marry and support his deceased brother's widow as prescribed by Deuteronomy 25:5-10. Despite its presence in the Hebrew Bible, academics think that polygyny was not widely practiced throughout the ancient era since it necessitated a substantial amount of wealth. "Polygyny continued to be practiced long into the biblical period, and it is documented among Jews as late as the second century CE," according to Michael Coogan.

The Roman Empire's monogamy was the source of two explanatory remarks in Josephus' writings detailing how Herod the Great's polygamous marriages were permissible under Jewish law.

Polygamy was tolerated throughout the Rabbinical era, which started with the destruction of the second temple in Jerusalem in 70 CE. "Raba said: [If a man proclaims,] 'Be thou betrothed to half of me,' she is betrothed: 'half of thee be betrothed to me,' she is not betrothed," according to Kiddushin 7a of the Babylonian Talmud (BT). The BT appears to replicate the precedent set in Exodus 21:10 when discussing Levirate marriage in Yevamot 65a: "Raba said: a man may marry women in addition to the first wife; provided that he had the wherewithal to sustain them." Polygamy was outlawed in Judaism thanks to the Jewish Codices.

In his Mishneh Torah, Maimonides argued that polygamous marriages were legitimate, despite his personal beliefs to the contrary. While preserving the privilege of numerous weddings and the obligation to provide completely for each, the Mishneh Torah went even further: "He is not, however, permitted to compel his women to share a courtyard. Rather, each person has the right to their own house",

The Talmud's lone example of a polygamous rabbi serves as an outstanding illustration: Rabbi Tarfon married 300 women throughout his lifetime. Why? There was a famine in the country. Rabbi Tarfon, on the other hand, had plenty of food since he was a kohen and got priestly tithes. A kohen's wife is likewise allowed to consume those tithes. Those 300 women were delighted that the Torah had made polygamy legal.

The Shulchan Aruch adds further subtleties to all of the earlier works: "...however, in any case, our sages advise against marrying more than four women, unless he can fulfill their conjugal demands at least once a month. He is also not allowed to marry another woman over his current wife in a country where it is usual to marry just one wife." As can be seen, while the Rabbinic period's tradition began with establishing legal definitions for polygamy that corresponded to precedents in the Tanakh, by the time of the Codices, the Rabbis had drastically curtailed or eradicated the practice.

The synod of Rabbeinu Gershom was the most significant in the Rabbinic period on polygamy, albeit it was more especially for Ashkenazi Jews. Around 1000 CE, he summoned a synod to be deliberate on the following issues:

  1. Ban of polygamy.
  2. Requirement of both partners' permission to divorce.
  3. Revision of the regulations for people who were forced to become apostates.
  4. Restriction of opening mail sent to another.

Polygamy is practically non-existent in Rabbinic Judaism nowadays. Since the 11th century, Ashkenazi Jews have followed Rabbenu Gershom's prohibition. Several Mizrahi Jewish groups abandoned polygyny (especially Yemenite and Persian Jews) once they emigrated to places where it was prohibited or outlawed. Polygamy is illegal in Israel. However, the legislation is only weakly implemented in reality, largely to avoid interfering with Bedouin culture, which practices polygyny. This Israeli law does not apply to pre-existing polygynous marriage among Jews from Arab nations (or other places where the practice was not forbidden by their tradition and was not unlawful). In Israel, however, new polygamous marriages are not authorized for Mizrahi Jews. On the other hand, polygamy may still exist in non-European Jewish communities that live in countries where it is not prohibited, such as in Yemen and the Arab world.

Polygamy is practically non-existent nowadays among Karaite Jews who do not follow Rabbinic interpretations of the Torah. Karaites, like other Jews, interpret Leviticus 18:18 to mean that a man can only take a second wife if his first wife consents (Keter Torah on Leviticus, pp. 96–97), and Karaites interpret Exodus 21:10 to mean that a man can only take a second wife if he can maintain the same level of marital duties due to his first wife; the marital responsibilities are 1) food, 2) clothing and 3) sexuation. Because of these two scriptural limits, as well as the fact that it is illegal in most nations, polygamy is seen to be impracticable, and there are just a few known examples of it among today's Karaite Jews.

Polygamy is prohibited in Israel. Existing polygamous households were granted permission to immigrate from countries where the practice was lawful. Furthermore, former head rabbi Ovadia Yosef has advocated for the Israeli government to legalize polygamy and the method of pilegesh (concubine).

Tzvi Zohar, a professor at Bar-Ilan University, has argued that the notion of concubines might serve as a practical Halachic explanation for premarital or non-marital cohabitation, based on the opinions of prominent halachic scholars.

Polygamy in Christianity

Was there any mention of polygamy in the Bible? The Old Testament makes no mention of polygamy. Even though the New Testament is mostly quiet on polygamy, others refer to Jesus repeating older passages, stating that a man and his wife "will become one flesh." Some, on the other hand, turn to Paul's letters to the Corinthians: "Do you realize that when a man marries a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? 'The two will become one flesh,' as it is written." Polygamists argue that this proves the term refers to a physical union rather than a spiritual one.

Some Christian theologians claim that Jesus indicates in Matthew 19:3-9, referencing to Genesis 2:24, that a man should only have one wife:

Have you not read that he who created them, in the beginning, formed them male and female, and said, for this reason, shall a man leave his father and mother.

Polygamy should not be practiced by some church leaders, according to the New Testament. "A bishop must be blameless from these, the spouse of one wife, sober, of good character, dedicated to hospitality, apt to teach," 1 Timothy says (chapter 3, verse 2; see also verse 12 regarding deacons having only one wife). In the first chapter of the Epistle to Titus, similar advice is given.

Periodically, Christian reform groups that have attempted to reconstruct Christian theology based only on the Bible (sola scriptura) have recognized polygyny as a Biblical practice, at least briefly. For example, during the Protestant Reformation, Martin Luther granted Landgrave Philip of Hesse, who was living "constantly in a state of adultery and fornication" for many years, a dispensation to take a second wife in a document known simply as "Der Beichtrat" (or "The Confessional Advice"). However, to prevent public controversy, the double marriage had to be carried out in secret. Luther had previously said in a letter to the Saxon Chancellor Gregor Brück that he could not "forbid a person to marry numerous wives since it does not contradict Scripture," and that he could not "forbid a person to marry several wives, because it does not contradict Scripture." ("Ego sane factor, me non posse prohibited, if plures velit uxores ducere, nec repugnant sacris literis.")

There has long been a conflict in Sub-Saharan Africa between the Christian stress on monogamy and customary polygamy. Mswati III, the Christian monarch of Swaziland, for example, had 15 wives. There have been recent attempts for accommodation in certain cases; in others, churches have fought such moves vehemently. In justifying polygamy, African Independent Churches have resorted to sections of the Old Testament that mention the practice.

Polygamy in the Roman Catholic Church

The Roman Catholic Church condemns polygamy; the Catechism of the Catholic Church mentions it under the heading "Other crimes against the dignity of marriage" in paragraph 2387 and declares that it "is not following the moral law." In addition, in paragraph 1645, under the heading "The oneness of marriage, clearly acknowledged by our Lord, is made evident in the equal personal dignity which must be granted to husband and wife in reciprocal and unreserved devotion," according to "The Goods and Requirements of Conjugal Love." Polygamy is incompatible with undivided and exclusive marital love."

Polygamy in the Old Testament was a source of contention for Saint Augustine. He abstained from passing judgment on the patriarchs, but he did not infer from their behavior that polygyny was still acceptable. On the contrary, he said that the Fathers' polygamy, which the Creator permitted because of its fecundity, was a deviation from His original purpose for human marriage. "The beneficial aim of marriage is better to serve by one husband with one wife, than by a husband with numerous wives, is demonstrated simply enough by the very first marriage pair, which was formed by the Divine Being Himself," Augustine said.

Augustine believed that patriarchs had numerous wives because they desired more offspring, not because of immorality. He backed up his claim by demonstrating that their marriages, in which the husband was the head, were structured according to management principles: those in charge (quae principantur) in their society were always single. At the same time, subordinates (subiecta) were many. He provided two examples: dominus-Servus - master-servant (in an earlier translation: slave) and God-soul. Worshiping many gods, often known as idolatry, is frequently equated with adultery in the Bible. "On this reason, there are no True Gods of souls, except One but one such," Augustine says.

Fertility was no longer an acceptable argument for polygamy as tribe populations grew: "I would not quickly declare whether it was lawful among the ancient ancestors, or if it is lawful now as well (utrum et nunc fas sit, non temere dixerim). Because there is no longer a need to have children, as there formerly was, when, even when spouses have children, it was permissible to marry several wives to have a larger posterity, which is no longer legal."

Augustine regarded marriage as an unbreakable commitment between one man and one woman. The Creator instituted monogamy: "Therefore, man and woman are the earliest natural bonds of human society." The Saviour's presence at the wedding at Cana (Matthew 19:9) and in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 19:9) verified such marriage (John 2:2). Marriage is a sacrament in the Church—the City of God—and may not and cannot be dissolved as long as the spouses live: "But a marriage once for all entered into in the City of our God, where, even from the first union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental character, marriage can in no way be dissolved except by the death of one of the spouses." "For it is in a man's power to put away a barren wife, and marry one of whom to have children," Augustine pointed out in Chapter 7 that the Roman Empire forbade polygamy, even if the reason of fertility would support it: "For it is in a man's power to put away a barren wife, and marry one of whom to have children." But it is not permitted; and it is not allowed even now, in our days, and after the usage of Rome (nostris quidem iam temporibus ac more Romano), to marry in addition, to have more than one wife living. He goes on to say that the Church's position toward monogamy goes far further than the secular law: Remarrying is forbidden, as it is considered a kind of fornication: Except in the City of our God, on His Holy Mount, the situation with the womb is different.

In recent years, a small group of Roman Catholic theologians has maintained that, while not ideal, polygamy can be a valid form of Christian marriage in certain areas, particularly in Africa. The Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church says that "Polygamy is against the rule of morality. Polygamy fundamentally contradicts [conjugal] communion; in fact, it directly contradicts God's revealed purpose from the beginning, for it is incompatible with the equal personal dignity of men and women who, in matrimony, commit themselves to a whole and thus unique and exclusive love."

According to certain Bible texts, the illegality of polygamy in some regions adds to the grounds against it. "Submit to the authorities, not only for the sake of probable punishment, but also for the sake of conscience," Paul says in Romans 13:5, since "God has instituted the authorities that exist." (1 Corinthians 13:1) "Submit yourselves for the sake of the Lord to every authority created among men," writes St Peter, "whether to the king, as the ultimate authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good." ' (1 Peter 2:13,14) Pro-polygamists believe that no laws are broken as long as polygamists do not get formal marriage licenses or seek "common law marriage status" for extra spouses, just as monogamous couples do not cohabitate without a marriage license.

Polygamy and the Movement of the Latter-day Saints

According to a revelation to Joseph Smith, the practice of plural marriage—the marriage of one man to two or more women—was introduced among members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the early 1840s. Despite Smith's revelation, polygamy was officially denounced in the 1835 version of the Concept and Covenants' 101st Section, published after the doctrine of plural marriage began to be practiced. In Liverpool, England, in 1850, John Taylor used this scripture to dispel Mormon polygamy allegations. Several senior Mormon leaders, including Smith, Brigham Young, and Heber C. Kimball, declared polygamy illegal in Illinois during the 1839–44 Nauvoo period. Kimball has several wives. Elders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who openly preached that all males were ordered to engage in multiple marriages were severely reprimanded. The Nauvoo Expositor chastised Smith for numerous weddings on June 7, 1844.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a religious organization dedicated to the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world (LDS Church)

Following Joseph Smith's assassination by a mob on June 27, 1844, most Latter-day Saints fled Nauvoo and accompanied Brigham Young to Utah, where plural marriage was still practiced. In a speech delivered in 1852, Brigham Young, the second president of the LDS Church, openly recognized the practice of multiple marriages. Following that, senior Mormon leaders delivered more sermons on the benefits of polygamy. When polygamy became a societal concern, it sparked debate, and writers began to produce works criticizing the practice.

"To ban throughout the territories those twin remnants of barbarism, polygamy, and slavery," the Republican Party's platform said in 1856. In 1862, Congress passed the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act, making polygamy illegal in all US territories. The LDS Church believed that the United States Constitution protected their religiously based practice of plural marriage. Still, the unanimous 1878 Supreme Court decision Reynolds v. the United States declared that polygamy was not covered by the Constitution, based on the longstanding legal principle that "Laws are designed to govern activities, and while they cannot regulate religious beliefs and ideas, they may regulate behaviors."

Some Mormons emigrated to Canada and Mexico when anti-polygamy legislation became more severe in the United States. In 1890, LDS Church president Wilford Woodruff made a public statement (the Manifesto) declaring the end of new plural marriages. Anti-Mormon hatred, as well as resistance to Utah becoming a state, began to fade. The Smoot Hearings in 1904, which revealed that the LDS Church was still practicing polygamy, prompted the church to release a Second Manifesto, declaring that new plural marriages were no longer being performed. By 1910, people who entered into or executed multiple unique weddings were excommunicated by the LDS Church. Despite this, many spouses and wives continued to live together until the 1940s and 1950s, when they died.

Various breakaway organizations left the LDS Church to maintain the practice of multiple marriages after the year 1890 Manifesto was enforced. Polygamy is still practiced among these communities in Utah and adjacent states, and the spin-off colonies. Even though they are not affiliated with the LDS Church, polygamist congregations of Mormon heritage are sometimes referred to as "Mormon fundamentalists." Such fundamentalists sometimes cite a supposed 1886 revelation to John Taylor as justification for practicing multiple marriages. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, there were 37,000 fundamentalists in 2005, with less than half living in polygamous families.

In Brown v. Buhman, US Federal Judge Clark Waddoups found that sections of Utah's anti-polygamy statutes prohibiting repeated cohabitation were unconstitutional but that the state's prohibition on multiple marriage licenses was upheld. Since the 1882 Edmunds Act, the principal tactic used to prosecute polygamy in Utah has been unlawful cohabitation, in which prosecutors did not need to establish that a marriage ceremony had taken place (just that a couple had lived together).

Polygamy and Mormon Fundamentalism

The Council of Friends (also known as the Woolley Group or the Priesthood Council) was one of the first manifestations of Mormon fundamentalism, with its roots in the teachings of Lorin C. Woolley. This dairy farmer was expelled from the LDS Church in 1924. The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS Church), the Apostolic United Brethren, the Centennial Park group, the Latter-Day Church of Christ, and the Righteous Branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are just a few of the Mormon fundamentalist groups that claim lineage through the Council of Friends.

Polygamy and the Community of Christ

Since its founding in 1860, the Community of Christ, formerly known as the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (RLDS Church), has never sanctioned polygamy. Following the Reorganization of the church, Joseph Smith III, the first Prophet-President of the RLDS Church, was an outspoken opponent of plural marriage throughout his life. For most of his career, Smith denied that his father was involved in the practice, insisting that Brigham Young was the one who started it. Smith went on several expeditions to the western United States, where he met and questioned acquaintances and ladies claiming to be his father's widows, who tried to persuade him otherwise. When confronted with such allegations, Smith would generally react by claiming that was "neither positive nor confident that [his father] was innocent" and that even if the older Smith was engaged, it was still a fraudulent practice. Many members of the Community of Christ and other previously affiliated groups do not believe that Joseph Smith practiced multiple marriages and believe that the evidence that he did is faulty.

Polygamy in Islam

A Muslim man may have up to four wives simultaneously, given reasonable and justified conditions, according to Islamic marital doctrine. Under no circumstances is it permissible for a Muslim woman to have more than one spouse simultaneously.

The perfect relationship, according to Quran verse 30:21, is the comfort that a couple finds in each other's embrace:

"And among His Signs is this: He chose for you mates from among yourself, so that you may live in peace with them, and He has placed love and kindness between your (hearts): indeed, in that are Signs for people who ponder."

— Sura 30 (Ar-Rum), Ayah 21 of the Qur'an

Polygyny is permitted in the Koran only in exceptional circumstances. According to Islamic law, when a man marries more than one woman, he must treat them equally in terms of financial assistance and support provided to each wife. If a guy worries he won't be able to treat his wives fairly, Islam recommends monogamy. It is based on Quran verse 4:3, which says:

"If you are concerned that you will not be able to treat orphans fairly, Marry the woman you want, Two, three, or four; but if you are afraid that you will not be able to deal justly with them, then simply one, or one that is in your right hands, will be enough to keep you from doing injustice."

— Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 3 of the Qur'an

Muslim women are not permitted to marry many husbands at the same time. However, if their spouses divorce them or die, women can remarry once Iddah is completed, as divorce is allowed under Islamic law. Because her marriage with her non-Muslim spouse is Islamically dissolved on her leaving, a non-Muslim woman who adopts Islam and escapes from her non-Muslim husband has the choice to remarry without having to divorce her prior husband. A non-Muslim woman taken by Muslims during a battle can remarry since her marriage to her non-Muslim husband is Islamically dissolved at the time of captivity. This permission is granted to such ladies in Quranic verse 4:24. In contrast to prostitution, the verse also emphasizes transparency, mutual consent, and financial remuneration as criteria for marital relationships; it says:

"Women previously married, except those in your right hands, are also prohibited: (Prohibitions) have been established by Allah against you as follows: Except for these, all others are legal if you seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property, desiring chastity rather than lust, and seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if you agree Mutually (to vary a dower after it has been specified), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing and All-wise."

— Sura 4 (An-Nisa), Ayah 24 of the Qur'an

Muhammad's first wife, Khadija, was his monogamous wife for 25 years until she died. For social and political reasons, he married a number of women after she died. The majority of them were widows. According to reports from his lifetime, he had nine wives in all, but not all at the same time. The Qur'an makes no distinction between husbands who have more than one wife. One argument for polygyny is that it permits a guy to provide financial security to several women who might otherwise be alone (e.g., widows). The wife, on the other hand, might stipulate in the marriage contract that the husband cannot marry another woman while they are married. In this situation, the husband is prohibited from marrying another lady while still married to his wife. Each of those wives, according to traditional Islamic law, retains her property and assets separately and is given Mahar and maintenance separately by her husband. The women usually have little to no contact with one another and live separate lives in their own homes, sometimes in different cities, even though they all have the same spouse.

Polygyny is permitted in most Muslim-majority nations, with Kuwait being the only one that does not have any limitations. In Muslim-majority Turkey, Tunisia, Albania, Kosovo, and Central Asian nations, the practice is prohibited.

Polygyny is often permitted in countries that require a man to get permission from his prior wives before marrying another, as well as proving that he can financially support several women. A man must justify taking an additional wife during a court hearing in Malaysia and Morocco before being allowed to do so. To expand the population in Sudan, the government supported polygyny in 2001.

Polygamy and the International Law

The United Nations Human Rights Committee has formed in the year 2000 that polygamy violates the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), citing concerns that were lack of "equality of treatment concerning the right to marry" meant that polygamy, limited to polygyny in practice, violated women's dignity and should be outlawed. Reports to UN Committees have specifically identified breaches of the ICCPR due to these disparities, and information to the UN General Assembly has urged that it be prohibited. Many Muslim nations, including Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Malaysia, Brunei, Oman, and South Sudan, are not signatories to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR). Therefore, the UN treaty does not apply to them.

Polygamy in the United Kingdom

In the United Kingdom, bigamy is prohibited. De facto polygamy (having many partners simultaneously) is not a crime as long as the person does not register more than one marriage. Adultery is not a crime in the United Kingdom (it is only a ground for divorce). In a written response to a question from the House of Commons, "Polygamy is only recognized as legal in the United Kingdom if the marriage ceremony took place in a nation where polygamy is legal, and the parties to the marriage were domiciled there at the time. Furthermore, since 1988, immigration laws have largely prohibited the creation of polygamous families in the United States."

The UK government's Universal Credit (UC) will not recognize polygamous marriages, which will replace means-tested benefits and tax credits for working-age individuals and will not be fully implemented until 2021. "Treating second and subsequent partners in polygamous relationships as distinct claimants might mean that polygamous families get more under Universal Credit than they do under the existing regulations for means-tested benefits and tax credits," according to the House of Commons Briefing Paper. As previously stated, the amounts that must be paid for additional spouses are smaller than those that apply to single claimants. Official statistics on cohabiting polygamous couples who have married in religious ceremonies are presently unavailable.

In October 2017, a dating service providing Muslim men the option to find second or third spouses received media attention in the United Kingdom. The website had 100 000 users, 25 000 of which were from the United Kingdom. When website founder Azad Chaiwala was looking for a second wife, he developed the website.

Polygamy in the United States

In the United States, polygamy is prohibited. Despite religious concerns from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons), the Supreme Court upheld federal legislation banning the practice in Reynolds v. the United States in 1878.

On December 13, 2013, a federal court threw down portions of Utah's bigamy statute that criminalized cohabitation, but admitted that the state may still enforce restrictions on possessing multiple marriage licenses, thanks to the American Civil Liberties Union and other organizations.

Individualist feminism and proponents like Wendy McElroy and journalist Jillian Keenan believe that adults should willingly engage in polygamous relationships.

Authors like Alyssa Rower and Samantha Slark argue that there was a case of legalizing Polygamy based on regulation and monitoring practice, legally protecting polygamous partners, and allowing them to participate in mainstream society rather than being forced to hide from it when a public situation arises.

Jonathan Turley, a law professor at George Washington University, claimed in an op-ed for USA Today in October 2004 that polygamy should be allowed it is a question of equal treatment under the law. Although Turley acknowledged that teenage girls are occasionally forced into polygamous marriages, he responded that "prohibiting polygamy is no more a remedy to child abuse than banning marriage is a solution to spousal abuse."

Pages: « Previous ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next »
Password protected photo
Password protected photo
Password protected photo