Chris's article

Break-ups are never easy. There are complicated feelings to unpack and shared resources to redistribute, all the while trudging on with your day-to-day. But how do you break up in a poly relationship? We’ll share 5 pieces of advice here to help you maneuver through these difficult times.


5 tips on how to move on from a poly break-up


Use this time to rediscover yourself, what you have learned, and what you would like your future relationships to be like.


1. Allow yourself to feel everything


There are no bad feelings: Emotions are powerful, but they allow us to take a step back and analyze what is important to us at the moment. Do you feel betrayed? If so, you may need to talk to your ex-partner to find closure.


Do you feel anger? Then you may need to find an outlet to release your feelings or you may need time to flesh out your thoughts before expressing them. Emotions do not control us. Rather, we need to transform these feelings into appropriate, emotionally intelligent actions.


Grieving is normal: Like with any break-up, the end of a polyamorous relationship will probably be tinged with mourning and even regret. Let yourself experience grief over the “What if” and “What could have been” that is now in the past.


Not every break-up will be like this: It’s easy to feel jaded after a break-up, no matter how short or long the union was. The most important thing to remember is that no two poly relationships are exactly the same, so no poly relationship break-ups will be, either.


Although you can extract new knowledge about yourself and your poly relationships from your break-up, try not to carry over negative feelings into your dating life.


2. Let all your partners know how you feel


Talk it out: Even if your partner(s) doesn’t want to know all the details about your break-up, a great partner should always be willing to give you a shoulder to cry on. Utilize your village, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.


Ask for space—or extra support: If you’re worried about bringing others down with your post-break-up mood, take a day or a week to recalibrate. On the other hand, some people prefer to be around others when they are distressed.


3. Build a supportive network


Pick your confidantes: Not everyone gets polyamory. Not everyone wants to understand polyamory, so choose your allies carefully.


Tap into your poly network: The right people can not only comfort you but may be able to empathize with your situation. Other poly friends can share their experiences and may even give you advice on how to move on after a poly break-up.


4. Practice self-care


Eat nourishing food and stay hydrated: You may not feel like doing much now, but healthy food and drink are essential to maintain your mood and health.


Spend time in the sun: Ample exposure to sunlight reduces the likelihood of developing depression and it improves brain function.


Face feelings vs. numbing them: Yes, most people turn to drinks and other substances after a break-up. Yes, the emotional relief may feel gratifying, but it is only temporary.


5. Take time for self-reflection


Go on a trip: Take a page from Meri Brown’s living-my-best-life book and spend a relaxing weekend outdoors with loved ones.


Journal your feelings: Or, express your feelings in whatever way is natural to you. Paint, play sports, dance, build a car model, etc.


Pick up a new hobby: This is a great way to convert negative feelings into something productive. For instance, joining a new class at the gym or trying out pottery helps you develop a new skill while keeping your mind and body occupied.


Related Questions


How long does the average polyamorous relationship last?


A survey of 340 poly respondents (in different poly arrangements, e.g. primary, secondary) found that primary relationships last about eight years while secondary relationships last about five years.


How do breakups work in poly relationships?


This is a self-serving question because it really depends on the relationship. There are various polyamorous arrangements spanning throuples to relationship anarchy.


What can be answered is the question of when to break up with someone. Your experience may differ, but people often break up in open relationships due to a lack of or ineffective communication.


Another big factor in a break-up is whether or not the people involved still share the same life values and life goals. Of course, other variables include whether or not the agreed-upon relationship is casual or serious, whether or not the relationship is hierarchical, and whether or not everyone is satisfied with the current rules and boundaries within the relationship.


How do you feel secure in a poly relationship?


Poly relationships require extra thought and communication.


Establish rules and boundaries


…and revisit them regularly. People in the relationship should not be afraid to question, challenge, or propose an amendment to a rule.


Address all feelings


Read: Talk about jealousy and insecurity. This will not only help you develop better communication skills but build trust between everyone involved. Effective communication takes practice, and when everyone is not committed, that’s when break-ups tend to occur.


Understand that love is not a commodity that’s cut up into pieces


Love is unquantifiable, and poly love is proof that it’s infinite. This is to say that just because your partner is enamored with their new partner does not mean they love you any less.


It just means they have discovered their capacity to love even more, in a whole different way. Their other relationship has no bearing on how they feel for you, because your relationship is unique, too.


Final Thoughts


Cheesy as it sounds, break-ups are the beginning of a new chapter. Maybe it’s the beginning of a new book, even. One thing is for sure when you leave a relationship behind: You take away new experiences and wisdom to help you develop greater relationships in the future.


If you’re having doubts or issues as a sister wife, don’t be afraid to talk about changing the rules. After all, relationships are only successful when everyone is heard and understood








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Online dating is already challenging on its own, having to evade romance scams and catfish profiles. Dating as a straight male or female, however, is easy because most dating services are coded to meet the heteronormative individual’s needs. Ironically, the gender binary mirrors the binary code, a phenomenon we see on most dating sites.


Here’s what I mean.


Most Dating Sites Are Not Made for Poly Users


When you identify as one or the other in the gender binary, the binary code heeds your call. M looking for F or F looking for M — it’s simple. If you identify as non-binary or anything other than cis-het, it’s a whole different experience. Such is the case for most LGBTQIAPD+ people on dating apps.


Many of us who don’t identify as strictly cis-het face discrimination on dating apps and sites. For instance, if you put yourself out there as a poly individual on your profile description, you’re more likely to get banned. I’ve experienced it myself.


Unfortunately, Tinder, Match Group LLC is one of the main offenders. Even moderately popular dating services like #open aren’t immune to this unfairness. In fact, Google Play suspended #open in 2021, citing violation of Google’s “Sexual Content and Profanity policy” as the reason.


But how can an app who supports ethical non-monogamy be guilty of promoting profanity and inappropriate sexual content, while large players like Tinder, who are infamous for hookup culture, remain untouched?


The simple truth is, most dating apps don’t cater to poly members.


Does Tinder Allow Joint Accounts?


Per their terms of service, Tinder does not allow joint accounts between partners or friends.


What Are Other Poly Dating Apps?


There are many poly-friendly dating apps and services available such as Sister Wives®. Other options are OkCupid, #open, Feeld, and Bumble.


Other Instances of Discrimination in the Poly Community


Although the United States (and other countries) are making progress by acknowledging the validity of poly families, instituting anti-discriminatory laws, and busting down myths about being poly, the LGBTQIAPD+ community as a whole still faces momentous obstacles.


Laws That Promote Intolerance


● Illegality of gay marriage in many countries

● Illegality of poly marriages in most countries

● Lack of protection against dsicrimination based on gender identity when it comes to housing, employment, and public accommodations (Wisconsin, USA)

● Lack of mental and other medical support specially designed for LGBTQIAPD+ patients

● Lack of financial help for transgender patients


Attitudes and Misconceptions That Encourage Stereotypes


● Asexual people and many LGBTQIAPD+ folks have a mental illness

● Poly users on dating services (and in person) are just looking for promiscuous relations

● Children raised by same-sex parents are traumatized or develop unhealthily

● Identifying as LGBTQIAPD+ is wrong, abnormal, and not valid

● Identifying as poly is just a fad

● Marriage is strictly between one man and one woman

● Identifying as LGBTQIAPD+ means your parents raised you “wrong”


Why Discriminatory Laws and Attitudes Matter


When your gender identity and sexual orientation are threatened by the very law of the land, you cannot enjoy the same freedoms as your heterosexual, cisgender peers. Unfair treatment against the LGBTQIAPD+ community is prevalent.


These unfair treatments include substantial setbacks like being unable to close a house deal because the seller is prejudiced against same-sex relationships. Other seemingly minor but equally unjust incidents include being exempt from simple privileges like using a dating app when you identify as poly.


As a result, your life is governed by inconvenience at best, and malicious injustice at worst.


That’s why we have to challenge discrimination when we see it. Large dating services banning poly and other LGBTQIAPD+ users is only a small aspect of the bigoted system that keeps the our community oppressed.


Protecting Sister Wives® Users From Discrimination


All of us at Sister Wives® have been champions of poly love for more than 12 years, and we’re not going anywhere. Unlike other platforms, our service allows you to sign up as an individual, couple, or group. We understand that not every relationship fits a certain mold—particularly a monogamous one—and we support that.


Whether you’re a couple seeking an individual to create a hierarchical poly relationship with, or a solo polyamorist in search of other solo polyamorists, we can help you find the relationship configuration that works for you.


Sign up today to witness Sister Wives®’ unparalleled community for yourself.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Online dating is a convenient service, but it has its risks. One of these risks is encountering people who run romance scams. According to the FBI, romance scammers are “[criminals who adopt] a fake online identity to gain a victim’s affection and trust” and eventually ask for money using different excuses.


Unfortunately, romance scammers often prey on members of dating platforms like Sister Wives. We are taking proper measures to stop these con artists, but scammers are finding new ways to bypass security measures.


That’s why we’ve prepared a deep dive here on what romance scams are, warning signs of a romance scam, and how to avoid them. Your safety is one of our top priorities as a dating service, so let’s review together what we can do to stop romance scammers.


Different types of romance scams


Deception is the heart of these dishonorable schemes. The perpetrator’s game plan is to trick you into a vulnerable position, whether that’s gaining access to your online accounts or blackmailing you into sending money.


Money mules


Some victims have reported money laundering scams where a criminal gains access to their bank accounts to move dirty money. The funds can be moved through various means like gift cards, cryptocurrency, and money orders.


Fake checks


Scammers can also ask you to cash a check because they claim that they don’t have access to their banking accounts. They may ask you to wire that money before it clears, and you may be left penniless when the check bounces.


Cryptocurrency investment


Newer approaches to romance scams include asking victims to invest in cryptocurrency. Someone might also ask you to send money via cryptocurrency if they are trying to launder large amounts of capital without dealing with banks.


Gift cards


Gift cards are a common way romance scammers make or move money. They may ask you to reload or buy them gift cards, citing excuses like their checking account is frozen or they lost their wallet.


Personal information compromised and stolen


More malicious scams include sending malware through dating apps or services. When you open the message or link, it might compromise your device, leaving your personal information exposed.


Another common scheme is when romance scammers send you an email or text message asking you to verify your information on the dating site. It is not actually sent by the dating service, but by someone trying to steal your data.


When you open the message or link, it will ask you for sensitive information such as your social security number or credit card security code.


Sextortion scams


Sextortion happens when a person uses compromising pictures or videos of you to extort you for money. To avoid revealing their face, scammers might say that their camera is not working all the while encouraging you to pose or perform sexually suggestive acts with the intent of blackmailing you afterwards.


Immigration scams


If you are messaging someone who claims to be from another country, they might ask you for money to pay off their visa, plane ticket, or customs fees to visit you. They take advantage of your emotions and emphasize that they would love to see you in person, but they cannot afford it.


Online dating red flags that can indicate someone is dangerous


One warning sign to be wary of is when someone immediately wants to meet you in person. However, romance scammers usually try to avoid meeting in person unless it’s part of their strategy. Consider these other atypical behaviors that let you know when someone has bad intentions.


They claim to be in a certain profession


Romance scammers adopt fake personas when they sign up for dating sites.  One way to spot a liar is if they can’t or won’t provide you with more details when you ask them about their work.


● Construction or building industry worker

● Soldier

● Doctor who travels internationally

Worker on an oil platform


These professions often work outside of their home country, so it’s easy for scammers to pretend that they can’t meet you.


They suddenly have an emergency and they need your financial help


In 2020, the Federal Trade Commission reported that consumers lost $547 million to romance scams, the highest it’s ever been. This is also the largest figure in any of the fraud categories including identity theft, credit scams, and false lotteries.


On average, a person over 70 years old lost about $9,000 while someone aged 18 to 29 years old lost about $750. It may seem unbelievable, but sadly, romance scammers are expert manipulators.


Romance scammers will try to gain your trust first before asking for any money. Then they might claim any of the following reasons for needing your financial help:


● Medical emergency fees

● Legal fees

● They lost their debit card, so they need a gift card

● They came across a good investment opportunity

● Money for a flight

● They need to pay taxes for items in customs

● They need money to pay off their college degree before they can meet you

● They need you to cash a check and wire them the money

● Gambling debt


They want to know every single detail about you


This can be a sign of a stalker, someone too eager, or someone trying to pull an identity theft heist. You may be answering their questions left and right, but they never give you a chance to ask you about them.


In fact, they might not reveal anything personal about themselves at all — a huge red flag. This is also a tactic that romance scammers use to make their interest in your budding relationship seem genuine. They want to appear charming and engaged.


They want to meet you immediately without getting to know each other first


In a similar vein, they want to meet you ASAP when you haven’t established what relationship you’re looking for yet. Moreover, they might be insisting that you pay for their roundtrip flights and other travel fees (via money transfer) so they can meet you.


They pressure you to send pictures or videos you don’t feel comfortable sharing


A romance scammer may ask you for explicit content repeatedly even after you’ve declined. They may even try to guilt you into meeting their demands by saying they sent you pictures and videos (that you didn’t ask for), so why shouldn’t you?


This pressure is called sexual harassment and is also a form of sextortion and sextortion scams. You can also perform a reverse search image on any pictures they send to verify that it is not a stock photo or a photo of another person.


Best practices when online dating


Here are some tried-and-true tips for online dating safety.


Don’t share too much information at first


If someone’s nagging you for extremely personal information during the early days, stop there. This can be interpreted as endearing, but it can also indicate that they are trying to gather intelligence on you.


On the Sister Wives platform, we discourage members from sharing outside profile links partly for safety reasons such as this. This is a list of things you should keep private until you get to know this person better.


● Company address/company name/ your position within the company

● Home address/neighborhood

● Family information, e.g. your parents’ names, your children’s names


Don’t move to SMS text immediately


If you meet someone on a dating site or app, stay on the platform. Don’t rush to exchange numbers until you’ve vetted them through video call or met them in person. When they have your phone number, they might be able to extract other information about you online like your address or full name.


Staying on the platform also leaves a paper trail in case of suspicious behavior. Always report harassment or other questionable behavior so that person can be suspended or banned from the app/service.


What is Sister Wives doing to protect its users?


Sister Wives is actively stopping romance scammers on its platforms. Romance scams are at an all-time high, and we want to make sure your dating experience is not sullied by these criminals.


That’s why we monitor for fake profiles and we flag and block IP addresses and entire IP ranges.


What to do if you are involved in a romance scam


If you fall victim to a romance scammer, don’t feel guilty or foolish. These con artists take advantage of people who are looking for real connections with genuine human beings.


Report them to the Federal Trade Commission


If there is a substantial amount of money involved — and even if there isn’t — you can contact the right authorities. You can file a report online here.


If you are on Sister Wives or another dating service, report the profile


You can block other members on Sister Wives and most dating services or aps. If you suspect that someone is a scammer on our platforms, you can send us an email here on sisterwives.com.


Freeze your accounts, change your cards, contact the right companies


If you gave them access to your bank account or another card, contact the company and let them know you want to change your account information. Change your security passwords.


If you paid someone through a gift card, tell the company what happened, and they may be able to refund you. If not, you can file a claim to the FTC.


For more information on dating safety, take a look at our article on how to spot red flags when dating.






Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Practicing basic dating safety conduct can save your life. In October 2021, personality Geoffrey Paschel from the fourth season of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days was convicted of kidnapping and assaulting his ex-fiancée Kristen Wilson in 2019.


He appeared on the show in 2020 with another woman, his current fiancée Varya Malina. The victim, Wilson, sustained a concussion, bruises, and cuts during the attack. Paschel has a history of drug charges, and this past helped cement his ruling in February 202 — 18 years without parole.


This is a very public case of dating violence, and not every case meets a just closure. Moreover, dating violence doesn’t just occur far into a relationship — it can happen on a first date.


Be on the lookout for tell-tale signs of a toxic or violent person. Educate yourself on what the red flags are for dating violence. Implement distress call protocols to save yourself in case you need to escape a date. These are just a few things that can help keep you out of harm’s way when dating.


How to stay safe on a first date


So you’ve chatted with someone for a couple of weeks. Now it’s time to meet them in person.


Meet somewhere other than your home


When choosing a place to rendezvous, always meet somewhere other than your place. Better yet, meet in a different neighborhood or city. This way, if you sense weird energy from your date, they can’t appear uninvited at your front door even if you’ve told them you are not interested.


It’s also a practical idea to always have your ride figured out before a date. You don’t want to be stuck with them if the date goes bad. You definitely don’t want to rely on them to get you home if they are acting strange, either.


Always let someone know where you are and who you are with


There’s a few systems you can use to make sure someone knows your whereabouts and can get to you if the date becomes dangerous.


● Download apps that make you check in at a designated time like uSafeUs and SafeDate.

● You can let a friend know you are on a date; if you don’t respond by X time, tell them to call you or check your location.

● Have a code word or phrase ready with your designated safe contact in case you need to signal for help discreetly through a phone call or text.

● Share your location on your phone with family and friends. This feature is available on both Android (Google Maps) and Apple phones (Find My app).


Choose your first date meeting point


One way to gain more control of the date is by picking the bar, restaurant, Movie Theater, etc. It can be a place you know well, where you’re familiar with the staff. You might also know the entrances and exits by heart.


Be ready to leave and don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings


If you feel uncomfortable, don’t be that person who stays because they don’t want to be rude. However, you can excuse yourself to use the restroom and leave or wait until they use the restroom if you want to avoid confrontation.


Ghosting is a common dating phenomenon, but this is not a case of ghosting. This is ensuring your personal safety.


Always be in control when drinking or taking substances


Being under the influence can be great if you’re around people who you trust 100%. However, not all of us can remain cordial.


Attentively coherent when under the influence of alcohol or drugs.


You know yourself best: Abstaining from substances that you know you can’t tolerate helps to ensure you can make a rational decision if needed. This can also prevent dating violence like sexual assault.


First date red flags


Besides establishing dating safety practices, you also need to be vigilant about your date. It is unfortunate that some aspects of dating feel so dangerous, but it is the reality of modern dating.


They want to leave the venue and go back to their place immediately


If your date keeps trying to goad you to their place before your entrée has even been served, leave.


They don’t respect your personal space


Your update may be overly affectionate by putting their arm around you, touching you inappropriately, or going in for an unwanted kiss. Stand firm and protect your boundaries — anyone who tries to invade your personal space and disregard your consent is not worth your time.


They are nagging you


This is a phenomenon mostly applicable to men. It happens when a man is constantly giving you backhanded compliments that are giving you mixed signals. In reality, they are trying to erode your self-esteem to not only make themselves feel superior, but to make you want to seek validation from them.


Here are some examples someone might say on a date:


● Nice dress! With your physique, it shouldn’t look flattering, but it somehow looks good.

● You graduated in Civil Engineering? I’m impressed. You must have had really good tutors helping you!

● You run five miles a day? Well, I’ve been running marathons for years now, it’s pretty easy.


Nagging comes in the form of backhanded compliments, unnecessary comparisons, trump stories, and fake advice or constructive criticism.


They insist on meeting at a specific spot with no compromise


This person has no regard for your feelings or safety. They might even be planning something nefarious if they insist on meeting at a certain place you are uncomfortable traveling to.


They keep getting caught in lies


If their stories are suddenly not matching with what they’ve previously told you, they may not be who they say they are. You can confront them about it if you feel comfortable, but if you sense that they are impulsive or dangerous, try to carefully remove yourself from the situation.


They’re excessively trash-talking their ex, colleagues, family, etc.


This is a sign that they are emotionally abusive. Equally worse, it’s a sign that they can’t form healthy relationships with anybody in their lives. You don’t want to get caught up in this toxic person’s web.


They are love bombing you


This is a huge red flag to watch out for. If your date brought flowers, jewelry, and chocolates to the first date, something is up. They might also constantly bombard you with lovey dovey text messages that don’t reflect your relationship at all.


In fact, you may have only spoken through a video call once before meeting in person. This is a common tactic for abusive partners. It’s a way of luring in victims and a way to “apologize” for their behavior when it inevitably turns ugly.


They are challenging everything you’re saying


Someone who can’t have a conversation without blowing up when you disagree on a subject is usually someone with anger management issues. Whether it’s conflicting views on something small like what dish to order or something more personal like political views, civil, calm discussion should be the norm, not loud altercations.


New relationship red flags


At the start of a new relationship, it can be easy to excuse (or completely miss) toxic behavior. The alarm bells in your head may be drowned out by feelings of new relationship energy, or that honeymoon phase. Nevertheless, if you know what to look for, it can be easier to think clearly.


They don’t value your time, opinions, and boundaries


Some abusers start with small, barely noticeable violations like guilting you into doing things you don’t want to do just so your partner doesn’t become upset. This can turn into something more serious in time.


They threaten you


If someone uses fear to control you, you are experiencing dating violence and abuse. They might yell at you or use physical force to get their way, which are both unacceptable.


They make all your decisions for you


During the early stages of dating, your partner may assert control over little things. For instance, they might order your food for you or make plants that include you without checking in with you first.


Eventually, these little things graduate into bigger decisions. Either way, your partner might make you feel guilty if you question these decisions.


They refuse to use/let you use of birth control


If you are a male with a female partner and they claim they are using a contraceptive but then later reveal they are not, it’s time to break up. Conversely, if you are female and your partner is male, they should support whatever contraceptive you choose.


If they insist on ditching a condom using the excuse that sex feels different with it on, then they can find someone else. These are instances of reproductive coercion and are considered intimate partner violence.


They isolate you from family and friends


When a person doesn’t let you see your circle, they are trying to control you. This is a sign of dating violence which can be disguised as a loving partner who wants to spend all their time with you.


More often than not, though, this controlling behavior is violent and victims are often physically forced to stay with their partner.


They pressure you to do things you don’t want to


Drugs, alcohol, sexual favors — if your new significant other is forcing you into something, it’s a sign of an abusive relationship. Perpetrators like Geoffrey Paschel use manipulation, intimidation, and physical force to get what they want.


If you notice this behavior early on, follow your instinct and cut ties with your new partner.


Besides dating safety, there are many ways to keep yourself safe when online dating. Unfortunately, dating services and apps are almost always dealing with dating scammers. Learn about the red flags in online poly dating, specifically, which is ripe with financial scammers and fake profiles.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


On January 23, 2022, Sister Wives released its series 16 finale which was the 10th episode of the season. Throughout past episodes, Kody’s strict quarantine rules drove the family into disagreements both big and small. But on our screens this week, we see a turning point in Christine and Kody’s marriage. 


First, we finally see the Brown family have a little fun.


The episode starts off with preparations for Ariella’s birthday celebration in January. At the top of everyone’s to-do list is getting tested for COVID. However, Kody butts heads with him and Janelle’s sons over the patriarch’s social restrictions.


Despite this conflict and pandemic-induced stress, the family shares a good time. Then the peace is disturbed once again. Robyn and Kody’s nanny and the nanny’s husband test positive for COVID, exposing the whole family to the virus. Something of a panic ensues, while Kody is bewildered that his family was compromised despite being so careful.


Still, the most emotional segments in the episode are Christine and Kody’s confessionals and conversations about intimacy.


What happened between Kody and Christine?


At Christine’s abode, she and Kody are putting up a door together for her room to keep the cat out. The conversation turns to the subject of intimacy in their marriage — or rather, the lack of it. Kody has mentioned to Christine before that he no longer finds her attractive, which makes the conversation not much of a surprise, but it is still a tender subject for the sister wife.


Kody states that he no longer wants an intimate marriage with Christine and that her repeated threats over leaving the plural marriage supposedly destroyed their intimacy.


In a confessional, Christine admits that


...to be honest, I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay with staying in a marriage where there's no intimacy. That's not a real marriage. I'm not interested in a half marriage or a partial marriage or whatever we have. 


After the sensitive conversation, Christine takes action. She packs up Kody’s things into boxes and leaves them in the garage to make sure he doesn’t spend his time at their place packing instead of playing with their shared children. She officially kicks him out of the bedroom, the reason being that they now have a platonic marriage, so he has no reason to enter anymore.


Kody is dumbfounded at first, thinking that the whole thing "appears to be a game…but it might not be,” although he acknowledges that he almost doesn’t care. It’s no surprise then that in 2021 before the current season aired, Christine and Kody announced their official split on Instagram.


Since then, Christine has shown she has indeed taken the time to “take a breath and get [herself] grounded and get [her] head in a good place and just rest for a bit and just settle for a bit.” It seems independence is suiting Christine as she enjoys the single life in Utah.


How does Kody feel about Christine leaving?


After more than 25 years of marriage to Christine with 12 years of it being tumultuous, Kody’s reaction to Christine leaving almost feels callous. In the episode, Kody says to the camera of his packed belongings, "I don't want to take any of it out of here yet because I honestly didn't know she was this serious.”


He expressed that Christine’s decision to leave was one-sided. In the past, he’s said he would not and could not end a marriage with any of his sister wives and that the decision to leave is up to them.


Kody feels “ambivalent” and his second thought about the whole thing “is relief. Some kind of relief from the burden and the woe of a loveless marriage.”


Is Janelle leaving Sister Wives?


Janelle and Kody married spiritually in January 1993 and share six children, but they are all almost grown, except for Savannah who is 17. In previous episodes, we also get a glimpse into sister wife Janelle’s mindset. 


She admits, “I’ve had to really think. My children are almost grown and there’s not a huge necessity anymore to stay…With Kody and I right now, our relationship is pretty strained. And you know, it’s easy to walk away.”


We see a pattern here. It seems that the other sister wives — Meri, Christine, and Janelle — all feel like secondary partners. They recognize that Kody prioritizes his and Robyn’s household and relationship over theirs. Perhaps Christine’s decision may have been heart-shattering, but necessary for her mental health.


What’s in store for season 17?


A source revealed that Kody may be looking to find new wives and start over. He plans on staying with Robyn and wants to find sister wives who understand and accept that his relationship with Robyn comes first.


Hierarchical relationships are valid, but fans wonder who might be willing to enter an arrangement where the affection and devotion would be so unevenly split.


For now, we’ll keep following the Brown clan on social media for any spoilers and teasers about season 17.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


When it comes to trustworthy poly dating apps and services, your choices can seem sparse. From hordes of polycurious users searching for hookups to lustful couples hunting for unicorns, some online dating apps are problematic. Here at Sister Wives, we always aim to give you the best poly dating experience whether that’s on our app or our website. In fact, we’re the first poly dating service to acquire a trademark. We got ours through the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) Word Mark. We registered “Sister Wives” for the International Class (IC) 25 Apparel trademark class and the IC 45 trademark class for Services in Dating and Matchmaking.


Why does this matter? Well, we believe in building credibility where we can and staying ahead of other apps and services. You know us by our name and our logo. We protect that association and our reputation through the trademark registration process.


What’s the difference between a trademark and a copyright?


These two registration processes are similar, but they differ.


Trademark


Per the USPTO, a trademark is a “word, phrase, design” or any mix of the three that distinguishes you from competitors. Registering a company is also a good way of protecting your brand should others try to imitate yours. For instance, our Sister Wives trademark sets us apart from other poly dating apps and services in the market like Feeld and PolyFinda. Since we registered our logo and name, no other poly dating apps (or services) can exploit these.


Copyright


Copyright, on the other hand, is your claim to an original work you can touch, see, or hear. This includes music, novels, photos, and movies. Copyrighting a piece of work prevents others from recreating or distributing your work without your permission. In “Terms of Use and Agreements,” you might also see a copyright clause. This usually means that the site or app has the right to use anything you post to their platform. In this case, you’re giving up your right to your copy, be it a comment or photo you posted.


What is the difference between the ™ and ® symbols?


The trademark symbol can be used by anyone for any phrase, service, or good, even if it isn’t trademarked yet. On the other hand, the R symbol is reserved for the business that owns that phrase, service, or good. Only trademarked items can bear the R symbol. What’s more, the R symbol is only valid in countries/states/regions where your service or good is registered.


Are dating apps copyrighted?


Yes, most dating apps are copyrighted. Poly dating apps may choose to protect certain phrases, app features, or distinct services. For instance, Tinder’s logo is copyrighted like Sister Wives’ logo. Their iconic “Swipe Left” app feature is also copyrighted and trademarked as well as their “Swipe Right” app feature.


What is intellectual property?


In the simplest terms, intellectual property is something someone made. This includes the aforementioned logos, services, and phrases. Copyrights and trademarks are ways to protect intellectual property. Another common way is with a patent, which is used for inventions.


Trademark infringement


This violation is straightforward — it’s when an individual or business wrongfully uses a trademark without the licensee’s permission. If another poly dating app sold sweatshirts using the Sister Wives logo without our knowledge, it would be trademark infringement. Another example is if someone used our Sister Wives logo but instead of a pink heart, they used a red one. You’ll find that trademark infringement happens most in knockoff apparel and goods.


So what?


Like learning how to identify fake dating profiles online, learning how to weed out fake companies can only be beneficial. Deceptive companies who use trademarked services and logos can steal your information or scam you out of your purchases. Poly dating apps and services are just an example of where intellectual property know-how comes in handy. If you’re interested, you can take a look at Sister Wives’ terms of use for our copyright and user agreement specifications.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


The holidays can be a very busy, yet very gratifying, time of year. For many, it’s filled with an abundance of love, but for some, it can be a sensitive season.


Poly dating during the holiday season can be overly demanding on your mental, emotional, and physical health. You have multiple partners to consider, friends to meet, and maybe even kids to think of. If your family celebrates with gifts and food, then you may have even more on your plate. Here’s our guide on surviving the end-of-year festivities.


Before you go mad trying to plan, shop, and prepare, consider our tips on managing poly dating during the long holiday break.


Carefully plan your events, but be prepared to make accommodations

Yes, preparation is key to preventing party troubles, but overpreparing can hurt, too. One way you can manage anxiety around poly dating during the holidays is by making sure you speak with your partner(s) about expectations.


Who will be there?

It can feel uncomfortable telling new partners they won’t be included in your family party, especially if they’re new suitors. But being transparent is the best practice here. Clarify who will be where so you can make the necessary arrangements.


It’s also common practice to host different events for different groups. You can spend time with your family in the morning and with your significant others at night without feeling guilty.


How long are the festivities?

When you’re having fun, it’s easy to lose track of time. Setting temporal limits around celebrations can ensure you don’t get overwhelmed if guests overstay their welcome.


Setting a specific time is also crucial if you don’t happen to be “out” as a poly couple or individual just yet. If your family were to walk in on your polycule for instance, there’s a potential of some awkward exchanges—exchanges you maybe weren’t emotionally ready for just yet.


When you stagger events throughout the day, it becomes crucial to enforce time limits. 


Are we exchanging presents, bringing food, or just having drinks?

The holidays are big on food, drinks, and presents. Before the party, make sure you and your partners are clear on expectations around these, especially gifts.


● Are you expected to get your metamour a present?

● If you’re a secondary partner to a couple who’s hosting a dinner with their family, are you expected to bring a dish plus small gifts for everyone? 

● If you’re hosting a lunch and inviting a primary partner to you and your nesting partner’s place, are they expected to come over and help you set up?

These are just a few examples, but they can help open up some conversations about the holidays as a poly lover.


Try to fit in dedicated time with your partners

It helps to find time to speak with your partners one-on-one about holiday plans. This can help prevent hurt feelings or disappointment which could lead to resentment. For example, if you and your partner have been courting another couple for several months, does this mean you’ll have a blended family gathering? 


This can turn into a game of chicken where both sides will feel let down if the other doesn’t make a move.


Again, another situation you might find yourself in is determining whether or not all your partners would even want to spend the holidays together. If you are the host, make sure to let your partners know when the others may be coming so they can plan ahead.


Talk about and clarify boundaries if family members or friends are present

If your family doesn’t know about your poly status, you might hold off on inviting your partners to the big dinner. This can make your partner feel unloved if they assume you are hiding them from your parents, siblings, and other relatives. Prepare to have these types of conversations with an extra dose of empathy.


On the other hand, if your partner knows your situation and still wants to participate during the holidays as a “friend,” then that could be a way to slowly introduce them to your family.


You might also discuss what level of affection you’re comfortable displaying to your friends and family between you and your partners. Is hugging acceptable? Would holding hands on the couch in front of everyone be too intimate?


Start some unique traditions

One way you can strengthen bonds during the holidays is by starting some new traditions. Of course, you may already have some you carried over from childhood, like watching movies on New Year’s Day or ordering in on Christmas Eve. Here are some more wholesome ideas to try out.


● Bake a dessert together

● Exchange gratitude affirmations instead of (or in addition to) gifts

● Donate supplies or toys to your local organizations


Don’t be afraid to say no

Hosting holiday parties can be taxing. So can attending parties. Be gentle on your mind and body by saying no if you feel like you’re taking on too much responsibility or RSVP-ing to too many events.


Here are some ways you can say no.

● Be honest. Tell them you don’t have the time or resources to do X thing.

● Offer an alternative even if you say no.

● Turn them down gently by saying you’ll have to check your schedule or follow up with your work calendar.

● Thank your friend, family member, or partner for the invitation, but you simply can’t make it. You don’t owe people an explanation.


Final Thoughts

Poly dating can make the holidays feel even more of a whirlwind, but understand that most poly celebrations look just like any other party. Our main piece of advice is setting boundaries about your time, resources, and intention with every dinner, lunch, or all-day party.


If you want more tips on navigating this busy time, check out our other post about Poly Dating and Christmas.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


In poly dating, a metamour is your partner’s other partner. This definition can vary between different poly relationships. For instance, are you a triad who all have relationships with one another? Are you in a hierarchical relationship, and your metamour is the secondary partner? Are you practicing solo polyamory and not seeking to forge a relationship between your partners?


Whatever your poly dating arrangement, getting long with your metamour is as simple as establishing boundaries, respecting those boundaries, and communicating clearly. You might even find that you don’t want to create a deep relationship with them after all — for whatever reason — and that’s acceptable, too.


What is a typical metamour relationship in poly dating?

There is no typical relationship of this sort, but you might observe that most metamours at least know each other as acquaintances with friendly rapport. In many cases, they can become close friends or even romantic or sexual partners, depending on the specific relationship.


Metamours can be a source of comfort and support since you have a common partner. Your lives are likely to overlap, and it may be beneficial to have someone to talk to that’s going through the same things.


Take it slow

But that’s not to say that you have to meet your partner’s other beloved at all. In fact, if you’re the hinge of a poly relationship, be careful not to force your partners to meet each other if they don’t initiate it. Ideally, you want to have the talk with your partner(s) beforehand if they want to get to know their metamours or not.


Additionally, some partners might make it a point not to meet metamours until you’ve been together for at least a few months. Some partners might enjoy meeting everyone you have a connection with, whether or not the relationship has the potential to last long or not.


At the very least, swapping phone numbers or social media handles may be a more casual way to introduce one another. It’s also a good idea in case of an emergency. If you and your partner live together and your partner’s lover comes over often, then of course prolonging your meeting may be more difficult.


Just know that there’s no pressure to build a relationship with them if that’s not in your agreement with your partner. This is good news for introverts who may need some time to prepare to meet new people, or for people new to poly dating who have never had this kind of complex relationship before.


Establish respectful boundaries

If and when you do meet your partner’s other sweetheart, it’s important to go in with some ground rules first. No questions are too bottom of the barrel, either. You might ask what time you plan on hanging out and until when. 


Is your partner allowed you to talk to you about personal matters about your metamour, and vice versa? Who will be there? Just you two or your mutual partner, too? If your mutual partner will be present, how affectionate/intimate will they be with your metamour? Or with you?


Finally, set a time to reflect on the meeting with your partner later on. You don’t have to reveal everything you talked about, but it may be a nice way to bond and it can strengthen your relationship knowing you and their other partner have connected.


Resist the urge to mediate between your partner and your metamour

If your partner and their other partner are at odds, it’s natural to want to step in. After all, you don’t want to see your companion hurt or emotional, and you may say the same about your metamour if you are close. But boundaries are there for a reason.


They have their own relationship, and just like you wouldn’t meddle in your friends’ relationship, you might want to step back here, too. This is not to say you don’t care about the goings-on of their day-to-day, but poly dating calls for some delicate slacklining between being an external party and an involved party.


Their relationship may indeed affect you, but it’s not your job or responsibility to solve their problems. If they ask for your advice, then that’s a different case. If they do, it may be difficult for you to stay impartial, and it’s okay to say you can lend a sympathetic ear, but giving advice may be above your pay grade.


What if I don’t want to connect with my metamour?

One common fear partners have before meeting their metamour is the fear of not feeling a connection. Or perhaps, equally worse, feeling jealousy or dislike towards them. You may even ask yourself, “I don’t see what [my partner] sees in [this person].”


But guess what? It’s not your duty to see or know what your partner feels in others. They are their own person, after all, and the beauty of polyamory is being open-minded and accepting. You may feel uncomfortable if you find that you have zero things in common with someone they feel passionate about. You may feel insecure if you perceive that this potential partner is “better” than you in some ways, whether that’s in looks, career prospects, financial status, etc.


If you experience negative feelings when meeting a partner’s suitor, it can be helpful to relay them to your partner after the meeting ends. They are the common link nonethelessl, and they can provide insight into your current emotional state.


However, again, there’s no obligation to meet your metamour — just make sure you convey your reasoning with your partner and make sure you are on the same page.


Where should I meet my metamour?

If you feel ready to meet your partner’s companion, ask to meet at a place where you feel relaxed. A cafe, an outdoor park, a brunch spot — somewhere neutral where you don’t feel pressured to act a certain way. While your living room (or theirs) can make you feel anxious about your relationship with your partner, a place with no ties to either of you may be best.


Meeting your metamour is a big deal for many people in the poly dating scene, but it doesn’t have to come with a mountain of pressure. Just thinking of it as meeting your best friend’s other close friend. If you connect on a deeper level, great, if you don’t, you just maintain friendly contact.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


The freedom to make choices is the mainstay of polyamory and polygamous relationships. Whether that’s choosing to be a solo polyamorist, choosing to spiritually marry two wives, or choosing to stay in a hierarchical relationship — the point is, polyamory is about the fluid boundaries we get to determine.


But there’s also a nagging question about choice in consensual nonmonogamy: is it an innate orientation or is it a conscious choice? There’s no clear-cut answer, but the closest we can get to one is that it depends on the person and relationship(s) in question.


For many, feeling alienated by monogamy and rejecting its paradigm can be traced back to childhood. For others, exploring polyamory may have only been triggered after experiencing monogamy first. This latter example is the way most people view polyamory: a lifestyle, an alternative to monogamous relationships that people seek when they feel stifled by tradition. A way to release devious inhibitions.


LGBTQIA+ vs. Poly rights


Neither version is wrong or right. Relationship preferences, sexual orientation, gender — all these lie on a spectrum. However, the problem with viewing polyamory as a choice is that the law then justifies not protecting and advocating for polygamists’ and polyamorists’ rights using this same argument. If people who identify as LGBTQIA+ are born with a certain sexual orientation, then what right do polygamists have to the same legal protections LGBTQIA+ allies have?


This discrepancy is not meant to conflate LGBTQIA+ issues with polygamist ones, but rather highlight the shortcomings of our legal system in recognizing polygamist families as valid families. Families with three wives and a husband are valid. Families with a platonic third parent and two romantically and sexually involved parents are valid. Families that consist of a quad and multiple children are valid.


Benefits of monogamous marriage


Consider this example. A woman is married to Husband 1 but also lives with Husband 2 and Husband 3 — plus their five kids. Husband 2 is a stay-at-home parent, so they don’t have insurance through an employer. Husband 2 falls ill and requires hospitalization. Since he is not legally married to his spiritual wife, he is not on her insurance and so he cannot use her benefits to get medical help beyond the state/federal. The rest must come out-of-pocket or be taken out as debt.


This may not hold true for all insurance companies, but it is a sad reality for many poly families, especially those living on low- to modest incomes. Another stark difference between legally married partners and non-married partners is the inability to file taxes jointly.


Married monogamous couples get to enjoy tax breaks and deductibles. Even if an unmarried poly wife and multiple husbands live together and share expenses, the state does not recognize their union, so they do not enjoy the same benefits available to married couples.


There are countless other incentives to monogamous marriage, including access to a partner’s disability insurance benefits and even adoption tax credits. Moreover, parental custody for a poly parent always seems to be precarious. Coming out to friends and family as a polygamist may not be uncomfortable, but at worst, your loved ones can reject your so-called lifestyle. 


Children of polygamist families may face a constant threat of poly family in case of an untimely death. For example, one poly wife claimed that her family let her know that if she ever passed away, they would seek custody of her child instead of allowing her child to live with the blended family the child has known since infancy.


Poly identity and political discourse


So polyamory isn’t just a choice or a “born this way” attribute. It’s a label that changes meaning depending on who you ask. If you ask a staunch monogamist, they might tell you it’s a plot to oppress women through financial and social restraint. If you ask a married polygamist, they might tell you it’s where their political and personal identities converge.


For many, this crossroad of personal relationships and legal, political rights feels like a battle zone. Until the state fully accepts and recognizes multi-parent homes as legal families, practicing polygamy indeed feels more of a conscious choice than an orientation. 


It’s not just about making choices about who you’re with and what boundaries you’re setting, but choosing to take on the battles at large that include decriminalizing polygamy, destigmatizing misconceptions about polygamy, and fighting for polygamy rights. 


If you want to learn more about why polyamory and polygamy aren’t an official part of the LGBTQIA+ community, we’ve written a great article here.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


It’s official. Or at least Instagram official. On November 2, 2021, Christine and Kody Brown announced their break-up on the social media platform.


The news didn’t seem to shock many, though, considering the recent Season 16 trailer and Christine’s solo move to Utah.


She posted a text photo on Instagram: 

After more than 25 years together, Kody and I have grown apart and I have made the difficult decision to leave. We will continue to be a strong presence in each other’s lives as we parent our beautiful children and support our wonderful family. At this time, we ask for your grace and kindness as we navigate through this stage within our family. With Love, Christine Brown


The two share six children together between the ages of 11 and 26. They married in 1994, which means they were together for more than a quarter of a century — no easy feat considering the trials and tribulations of a polygamous marriage.


The timeline of their relationship

The Browns have a long history, and not all of it was captured onscreen when the hit show premiered in 2010.


1990 - Meri and Kody marry

1993 - Jenelle and Kody marry

1994 - Christine and Kody marry

2011 - The family moves to Las Vegas

2014 - Mery and Kody divorce

         - Robyn and Kody marry

2018 - The family moves to Flagstaff

2019 - The family buys Coyote Pass property

2019 - COVID hits and family has limited interaction

2021 - Christine moves into a rental (November)

         -  Christine and Kody announce split (November)


Where it went wrong

At the end of the Season 15 of Sister Wives, Christine expresses that she wants and plans to move back to Utah.


In the Season 16 teaser released in October 2021, the family seems at odds with living through the pandemic while trying to maintain a semblance of their former integrated lives.


Christine, in particular, is aware of her and Kody’s deteriorating relationship. She pointedly asks the camera in her confession why she should stay and wait for the family to move to their Coyote Pass land when Kody seems content with only one functioning marriage, i.e. his marriage with Robyn, the fourth sister wife.


Where is Christine now?


Christine is currently living in Utah with her younger children. The rental is a new, spacious duplex with a sizable yard.


Without watching the new season (which premieres November 21, 2021) we can’t know for sure what transcribed, but fans postulate that the pressure of COVID and lack of a romantic relationship with Kody sealed the deal.


What do the other sister wives and Kody have to say about the split?


Sister wives Christine, Janelle, and Robyn have yet to address the topic on their social media accounts or speak to trusted publications, but a source from Us Weekly claims Robyn is aware that her stable relationship with Kody may have been a big deciding factor for Christine.


Kody also made a statement about the split on his Instagram, claiming that “Christine’s decision to leave comes with a great deal of sadness...we will always remain committed parents.” 


From his caption, we can hypothesize that Kody may have tried to keep the family together, but we’ll know for sure when the new season hits our screens.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


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