Chris's article

Reports from 2018 claiming Kody Brown was apparently courting a potential new 25-year-old sister wife but was reportedly turned down after proposing have resurfaced this week. According to InTouch Weekly, Brown was "heartbroken" by the scenario as he was eyeing her as a replacement sister wife for his first wife Meri, but was rejected. This is probably coming up again as more and more people believe it’s true, as well as the fact fans watched Kody and Meri’s relationship continue to disintegrate in the last season on Sister Wives. 


Somehow, this has reignited the discussion around Kody’s alleged favoritism towards Robyn. People are speculating she may have played a role in Kody’s new relationship not working out. In this post, we’ll update you on the situation and how you can avoid similar issues in your polygamous relationship and dating life.


Backstory

Though the strain on their relationship isn’t news, Sister Wives fans are still awaiting clarification on whether Meri and Kody have permanently parted ways. We do know that the most recent season of the TLC series was quite difficult. Meri and Kody Brown said they were not in a relationship. Even though Kody said divorce was not an option for them, it sounded as though they rarely spent time together.


So, it makes sense that Kody would feel the need to court another wife in order to fill the void. Especially since this allegedly occurred before the pandemic, which was exceedingly stressful for the Brown family. The potential “replacement” for Meri was described by the InTouch article as a beautiful, young single mother of two, and had a “tomboy spirit.” She also had a lot in common with Kody, so when she told him, “let me know if you ever want a young, hot wife,” he was excited. 


However, things apparently weren’t smooth sailing on Robyn’s end. According to reports, she admitted to feeling jealous so Kody cut back the amount of time he was spending with her. Despite this, Kody assured his buddies that he was confident this would still work out. He decided to propose to her as a way to show her he was still serious about their commitment. Unfortunately, the woman supposedly said she didn’t see a future with Kody and her potential Sister Wives. Some reports even go as far as saying that the reason the woman said she didn’t see a future there is that she felt that Robyn “controlled” Kody.


Do the other Sister Wives feel like Kody favors Robyn?

The other Sister Wives have discussed feelings of jealousy around Kody’s relationship with Robyn, who is the newest addition to the family. The adjustment period of welcoming a fourth sister wife after having three for so long was understandably rocky at times, but the wives have come a long way in the last decade. However, what the wives themselves have said on camera about their feelings toward Kody and Robyn’s relationship is nothing compared to what fans say online. In fact, Robyn has been accused by some TLC fans of trying to separate Kody from the rest of the family. Viewers have begun to lose faith that the other spouses will push back, allowing Kody to continue acting in a manner they feel seems selfish.


Does Kody blame the family’s problems on “living in a monogamist world?”

When Kody and his wife initially went public with their polygamy in 2010, they were residents of Utah. At the time, he recalls, Sister Wives fans frequently approached him when he was on a date with one of his spouses and inquired about the whereabouts of the other wives. Now that the family lives in Flagstaff, he never runs into that problem. Kody said this season that he wondered if this is an indication that they're becoming less like a solid family unit and operating more in fractured segments. “Perhaps we appear more monogamous now because we live in a monogamist world,” Kody said. “It does appear as like we are very isolated – as if we are a very non-polygamist family, due to our lack of interaction and distance.” This of course wasn’t helped by the COVID-19 pandemic, which caused the family to become even more separated. 


So, to sum it up, we aren’t 100% sure that Kody actually proposed to someone new in 2018. It’s possible, but whether it’s true or not, we’re sure any polygamist can relate to feeling the need to find a new spouse when one leaves the family. There’s a reason we have tried not to use the word “replace” in this article, though. That reason is that the goal should never be to choose someone to join your family simply because there’s more space there now. You should first be sure you have space in your heart. While a new addition could help fill the void, you can never truly replace the relationship you had with someone else. And that’s okay! Be sure to take the time you need to mourn the breakup. You never want to start courting before you and your other spouse(s) are all ready, healed, and on the same page. 


In general, it’s important to note that polygamists are not immune to jealousy. However, it’s helpful to remember all the ways each individual relationship is unique in its own right. Sister wives or partners that share the same spouse may have to learn how to not view each other as competition and instead as different branches of the same family. Each person plays a role. If you or your partner begin to feel jealous - something that is natural and in some ways inevitable during polygamy dating - then it’s vital that you respectfully address it. Plus, keep in mind it’s a lot easier to deal with problems in your poly family in private rather than on national television!


At Sister Wives, we pride ourselves on giving people a way to find the poly love they’re searching for. We provide the tools and resources you need to learn more about polygamy dating and the poly community as a whole. Whatever stage of your journey you’re on, we’re here to help! If you haven’t already, sign up today to take advantage of our polygamy matchmaking services!








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Seeking Sister Wife viewers are used to watching drama between poly families on the show, particularly from Dimitri and Ashley Snowden. Their rocky relationship with potential sister wives - including Christeline Peterson, who accused them both of abuse - and with each other is a big plot point each season. While every cast member struggles in their own way with the polygamous lifestyle, the Snowdens have faced more difficulties than most, with a record of failed marriages, allegations of abuse, and restraining orders.


Ashley Snowden’s Instagram Posts

Not long after allegations came out against the Snowdens, fans began speculating on the status of the remaining two members of the family, Dimitri and Ashley, after Ashley posted a cryptic post on Instagram. The caption for the post was centered around emotional maturity and appeared to be Ashley’s way of separating herself from Dimitri and the stories regarding his previous relationships. “Sometimes emotional maturity is apologizing when you were wrong…and sometimes it’s knowing what isn’t yours to apologize for,” Ashley wrote in the post. “Being emotionally mature is taking heed to red flags, giving yourself grace for past mistakes you’ve learned from, knowing your boundaries and upholding them, knowing when something is good for you and when it’s not, not giving life to every negative thought that pops into your head or being consumed by the past or thoughts of the future, and finally, looking in the mirror and knowing your worth, even if those around you don’t.” She concluded the post by saying, “Emotional maturity isn’t martyrdom. It’s learning thyself, and then applying the knowledge despite what others think they know about you. And, it’s also knowing that letting go may be painful, but perhaps the best thing that can happen for you.” 


The Instagram post, published on June 27, left many fans speculating because it seemed like Ashley was saying she was done with her marriage without actually saying that. This week, those fan theories were validated as Ashley posted again less than three weeks after her original post. In this one, she does say the words “I’m single” in the opening line of the post. She also said she is choosing to share her truth publicly because “misinformation is harmful.” She goes on to share tips that “may make this world a kinder place for everyone, especially people who are experiencing trauma.” Her tips are essentially advising people to reach out to people they’re concerned about in private and “if you can’t approach them privately, 9x out of 10, it’s none of your business.” Sometimes it’s hard to remember we may feel like we know reality stars, but they don’t know us. Even though sharing their lives publicly is what they “signed up” for, that’s really only true to a certain extent. At the end of the day, cameras aren’t rolling right now, and regardless, people do deserve to still be in control of their lives.


Dimitri Wiped His Instagram Clean

Toward the end of Ashley’s post she says, “It’s cool if you don’t like me, that’s life. However, there’s power in redirecting energy to things you do like. Unfollowing is an undervalued tool for a peaceful life. Blocking or restricting accounts are dope features, too.” Her now ex-husband, Dimitri, seems to have taken this advice and has since deleted all the photos from his Instagram. This is not the first time Dimitri has gone quiet on social media - most recently before this, he placed his accounts on private when news broke about the situation with Christeline - but it is the first time he’s actually wiped his account clean. Not just the photos with Ashley, but all of them, including ones with his children. While Dimitri has not specified why he deleted all of his Instagram postings, there are already numerous fan theories circulating. The timing of it indicates that he may be attempting to remove Ashley and their life together from his memories. While Dimitri has had at least five wives and Ashley is not his first, she has been with him the longest, and her decision to leave may be more difficult for him to accept than any of his other marriages.


Our Thoughts

Despite having five sister wives between 2003 and 2019, Dimitri clearly does not appear to be a polygamous relationship expert. Even though you’re able to delete images from social media, you cannot delete the actual memories with the person. This is especially so for Ashley and Dimitri as they have three children, so their lives will never be fully disconnected. Dimitri's 140,000 Instagram followers are ready to learn what happens next for this unconventional former couple, but it’s looking like they’re going to have to wait until the next season of Seeking Sister Wife.


We think that Dimitri’s reaction kind of shows that his method for dealing with these things is to not deal with them. Breakups, especially poly breakups, can be a lot to digest. However, if you don’t truly process them and learn from them, you shouldn’t be surprised if it keeps happening. It’s all too easy to place the blame on the person who’s not there anymore, but even if the majority of the blame does rest on their shoulders, it’s pretty rare for only one person to be completely responsible. Maybe you ignored red flags or swept their seemingly petty grievances under the rug. Whatever it is, really try to understand their perspective and identify how you can avoid those missteps in the future. The goal of this isn’t to beat yourself up or rub salt in a wound, but to adapt and grow into the best polygamous spouse you can be. 


Season 3 of Seeking Sister Wife just recently ended and many fans have already been asking for Season 4. However, as of now, TLC has neither confirmed nor denied if the show has been renewed for another season. Plus, a tell-all for season 3 has not been filmed, and considering the state of the Snowdens, fans can’t help but speculate if they will film the special. Hopefully, the show will figure out a way to move forward with the other families. Be sure to check back here for more updates on all things Seeking Sister Wife, Sister Wives, and polygamy dating/marriage!








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Poly relationships are just as likely to experience problems compared to monogamous ones, but the former creates unique circumstances that allow one or multiple people in the relationship to manipulate others.


To clarify, an abusive relationship is one where the perpetrator intends to harm the other person/people in the relationship. On the other hand, a toxic relationship may be where the perpetrator does not necessarily act with malice, although their behavior is still often harmful. In short, all abusive behavior is toxic, but not vice versa.


Nevertheless, whether it’s physical, psychological, or verbal, both abusive and toxic behavior should not be tolerated.


Let’s dissect some common toxic behaviors that may crop up in your relationship with a sister wife or husband.


1. They stop you from forming relationships with other people in the polycule

In some cases, toxic behavior is abusive. When a person in the relationship assumes the lead position (or dictator title, really), then it might be a good idea to step back and reassess the situation.


For instance, consider a married man and woman who decide together that they want an open relationship. They bring in another man, and the wife forms an intimate relationship with him immediately. However, she forbids her husband from interacting with this second man at all.


In another example, a married man dates multiple women and brings them home occasionally. His nesting partner wants to be friendly--at the very least--with these women, but he gets angry or downright violent if she attempts to make contact. 


In these instances, the toxicity goes beyond inconvenience and is bordering on emotional abuse. Abusers often want to isolate their partners, and in poly relationships, it can be easy for the perpetrator to inflict harm because these types of arrangements are not conventional.


A unique circumstance in a poly relationship is the use of veto power (or the power of someone in the relationship to reject a potential partner). Ideally, it’s granted to everyone in the relationship, but toxic people will seize total control.


This imbalance tilts power dynamics in favor of one person, which always ends in hurt feelings--or worse, abusive relationships.


2. They make all the decisions in the relationship/household

Similarly, a toxic person might assume control over other matters in the household, whether it’s about children or a financial matter. We’re not talking about an arrangement where everyone in the polycule relies on a sole breadmaker or decisionmaker, which is common in polygamous households.


We’re talking about relationships where one person does not consult, negotiate, or discuss anything with anyone else. The sole intention is to consolidate power so the other person (or people) remains completely powerless.


When the submissive partners in the relationship have no say, they might spiral into insecurity, dependence, and hopelessness. This stripping of power and autonomy is a telltale sign of a toxic and abusive person.


3. They dismiss your feelings and don’t respect your boundaries

Gaslighting gets thrown around lightly, but it is a serious abuse tactic that inflicts psychological or emotional harm. It refers to any behavior that aims to dismiss, manipulate, or misconstrue another person’s feelings, memories, or judgment.


At first, gaslighting might seem like something your husband or sister wife does out of frustration or anger. Over time, you might recognize it as a way for them to control you while avoiding problems in your relationship.


It can be something as simple as your partner lying about their whereabouts to your partner blaming you for every issue that comes up. Poly relationships can be confusing to understand and challenging to navigate, especially when it comes to setting boundaries.


However, your partner(s) should always respect these boundaries--this is a sign of a healthy person and a healthy relationship. You should never apologize for your feelings, and you should never feel like you’re walking on eggshells every time you want to bring up something to your partner(s).


4. They justify their actions through jealousy

This point might fall under the previous one, but we’ve created a whole section for it because jealousy is such an innate part of poly relationships. Everyone (or almost everyone) will feel jealous at one point, whether it’s a union between three wives and a husband, two couples, or a married couple and another man.


It’s just human nature. Nevertheless, jealousy is not a valid excuse for toxic behavior. It’s not an excuse for snooping through your phone when you’re not in the room. It’s not an excuse for bombarding you with texts and calls when you’re out with a sister wife. It’s not an excuse for being the punching bag for their verbal hits and emotional outbursts.


Jealousy can be dealt with in many ways, but when left unchecked, it manifests as toxic behavior that threatens to sabotage your relationship. Couples who have just signed up to sister wife dating sites, especially, need to be wary of these feelings and learn how to manage them.


Once the new energy relationship dies down, couples might find jealousy bubbling under the lovey-dovey surface.


5. They demand privacy but don’t reciprocate this trust

An open relationship doesn’t mean you have to put all your cards on the table. In any throuple, quad, or polycule, you’re still your own person. You are always entitled to privacy when you ask for it, so this point might overlap a little bit with Number 3--respecting boundaries.


For example, you and your partner might have agreed to pursue other people in the relationship separately, and that’s fair. What’s not fair is if they conceal every detail about their metamour, but demand to know everything going on in your relationship(s).


Again we see an imbalance in the relationship.


How do I fix a toxic relationship with my sister wife or husband?

First, I’d like to revisit two core values I offer to people new to the poly world who are facing issues right off the bat: Question your assumptions and expectations about relationships and then adjust your expectations to discover the best relationship style for you and your partner(s).


When you establish healthy boundaries, you’re forced to analyze what assumptions might be holding you back. Is it expecting your partner’s absolute time and attention? Is it assuming that every person will be like your first polyamorous lover? Is it expecting to feel no jealousy at all when a new sister wife moves in?


Once you’ve decided what boundaries you need, then you can change your expectations about your current relationship. Adjust and modify as necessary. Making your needs known to your partner(s) is an essential part of a healthy union, and if your partner or metamour does not want to respect your needs, that’s a giant red flag.


If your partner refuses to talk to you every time you try to work things out, counseling or therapy might be the next step. An objective third party with experience in relationships might be able to provide a safe space where you can all feel comfortable tackling sensitive issues.


What if you’re still in the dating pool? We know all about catfishing and scammers online, so I recommend our guides on how to avoid getting catfished and how to recognize red flags on poly dating sites. If you know the signs to look out for, then it’s easier to remove yourself from a potentially toxic relationship immediately.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Joining a sister wife dating website can be nerve-wracking. If your heart and mind are in it for the right reasons, the process is more likely to go smoothly. However, we are still human and can be pushed to make some questionable decisions.


I’ve covered a list of the seven common reasons why people join sister wives dating sites--the wrong reasons. Let’s go over them in detail.


You want to save the relationship by “spicing things up”

This is by far one of the most common reasons most people try polyamory and polygamy in general. When a monogamous relationship takes a rocky turn, one or both people in the relationship might think it a good idea to try polygamy or polyamory. This might be detrimental overall.


Resorting to finding a sister wife in a desperate attempt to bring excitement into the relationship is a sign that the partners want to avoid facing the actual problems in their union. This Band-Aid solution rarely works and highlights the importance of proper communication--monogamous relationship or not.


You just want to make your partner happy

In the same vein, if your partner wants to experiment, and you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship by objecting, then you might just be saying “Yes” for the sake of avoiding confrontation. It is a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes we are not compatible with our partners--whether we’ve been with them for one year or a decade.


If your partner is adamant about trying polyamory or finding a sister wife, and you know in your heart that you are a pure monogamist, then you must tell them. Holding onto uncomfortable feelings can lead to resentment down the road. This only means lost time on both ends.


You’re sexually unsatisfied in your current relationship

Polygamy and polyamory as a whole are oversexualized. The average reader might think about orgies, multiple sexual partners, and other X-rated images when the term polygamous relationship comes up. In fact, poly couples likely engage in the same sexual activities as monogamist couples do. 


Yes, group sex is a thing, and multiple partner arrangements exist, but media has demonized poly relationships on the sexual front. In reality, most poly relationships are calculated and are not full of risks.


If you or your partner wants to join sister wives dating sites for the sake of sexual satisfaction, then sister wives dating sites might not be for you. You might step back and think about what you need from your current partner and try out some possible solutions before expecting other people to provide the answer.


You expect relationships without full commitment

Poly relationships are portrayed as lax, indulgent, and casual. However, poly relationships (polygamous relationships, more specifically) are often committed. There’s no other way to be when you’re uniting multiple lives into a single thread.


While people might regard all poly relationships as uncommitted, this simply isn’t true. If you’re joining sister wives dating sites with this mindset, then you might be up for a rough wake-up call. Of course, not everyone is looking for something permanent and serious, but many people on sister wives dating sites are.


You want an excuse to be intimate with other people

Another common reason for people to join poly dating sites is to avoid the consequences of being intimate with others. This unhealthy reason helps give polyamory and polygamy a bad name because it ascribes a promiscuous attribute to consensual non-monogamy. In reality, people in poly relationships are meticulous about who they welcome into their lives and into their bedrooms.


Whether you’re a single person who wants to be with multiple people but balks at the idea of your partner being with someone else or a couple who finds the idea of a metamour thrilling, but in reality, crumble at the slightest sign of jealousy, the poly lifestyle should not be an excuse to experience extra-relationship intimacy minus the consequences.


You’re afraid of being alone

Moreover, you should not be on sister wives dating sites if you’re simply afraid of being alone. This rings true for anyone who doesn’t want to grow old alone and for any divorced person who thinks they’re increasing their odds of finding a relationship by trying the poly lifestyle.


You’re not only doing yourself a disservice by being honest with yourself, but you might be wasting your time, too. Most genuine polyamorists and polygamists can sniff out imposters a mile away.


You’re looking for extra financial help

Similarly, if you’re a divorced person with kids or a person who was not financially independent while in your previous relationship, don’t look to poly dating sites for an easy fix. Financial assistance is an immoral reason for turning to sister wives dating sites, and should only be considered a bonus when entering a poly relationship.


Misleading another person or people into a dishonest relationship cannot end well for anyone involved. Instead, ask for help where you can (friends, family, professional assistance), and work hard to get yourself where you need to be in good financial standing.


How do I know if a poly relationship is right for me?

There are many benefits to poly relationships, but these are not the reasons for joining one. Instead, ask yourself if you can handle the stressors in a poly relationship (namely jealousy and resource management), whether you want to enter a poly relationship or you feel pressured to do so, and why you want to be in a poly relationship.


If you can answer truthfully and are satisfied with your self-reflection, then it might be time to take the next step. Joining a poly dating site can feel intimidating, but it can also feel liberating. You’re a step closer to being your authentic self, and if you need clarification on the ever-growing list of poly terms, check out our poly terms and conditions article for the most recent insight.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Polygamists face a wide variety of stereotypes and assumptions from society. In order to understand the poly lifestyle, it’s important to learn more about it. That includes facts about polygamy as well as learning what’s not true about it. 


This post contains the top things most people don’t know about all things polygamy. So whether you’re new to polygamy or just interested in learning more about it, read on!


1. U.S. Moral Acceptance of Polygamy Has Increased 400%

In 2003, Gallup - a global analytics firm - first included polygamy in its "moral acceptability" section of the Values and Beliefs poll. That year, approval of polygamy in the United States was 7 %. However in the year 2006, public opinion on polygamous marriage took a sharp downturn, and just 5% of the population could describe it as “morally acceptable.” 


Then, Big Love premiered on HBO, followed by TLC's Sister Wives in 2010. In 2011, approval jumped to 11% which led to some speculation that some people just needed something like a television series to help them better understand polygamy dating and kill any mental blocks they had toward the lifestyle. It has steadily increased since then, with the acceptance of polygamy hitting 20% in 2020. This means it’s increased by 400% in 15 years.


2. Kody Brown Helped Decriminalize Polygamy in Utah

Those familiar with the reality show Sister Wives were used to hearing about Kody Brown working to reform his family's roles and relationships, but were pleasantly surprised to see him working to reform legislation, too. After being investigated for bigamy by Utah prosecutors, polygamist Kody Brown protested Utah's laws against polygamy. Though he failed in his initial endeavor, he continued to advocate for legal reform since then.


Since then, Brown and his wives became the face of polygamy advocacy, pushing for the Utah legislation to be passed for several years. It even became a plot point on several episodes of Sister Wives. One example of their advocacy was their participation in the “March for Liberty” on February 10, 2017, in Salt Lake City, Utah, to change laws surrounding poly marriage. In March 2020, the governor of Utah signed Senate Bill 102 into law, which allows a person to have multiple, consenting spouses at the same time and not be subject to felony charges.


3. Polygamists Aren’t Always Mormon

Polygamy was outlawed in all United States territories in 1862. At the time, Mormons were the main group of people who practiced plural marriage as a result gained property dominance in the Utah Territory. Basically, polygamy was outlawed because the government felt the Mormon church had too much control over land in Utah. In order to gain ownership of their assets back, the Mormon church officially discontinued the practice of plural marriage by 1890. 


However, existing plural marriages weren’t dissolved and this portion of the Mormons broke away and became what we know today as Mormon Fundamentalists. Some of them also fled to Canada and Mexico, who eventually also outlawed polygamy. This explains why the assumption in North America is that all polygamists are Mormons or vice versa, but what many don’t realize is the fact that there is a strong divide between fundamentalists and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So while Mormons may have originally introduced the lifestyle here, that was in the 1800s. Polygamy has since been modernized, so there are no requirements (other than all partners being consenting adults) to become a polygamist!


4. Polygamous Marriages Don’t Have a Hierarchy

In the early days of polygamy, being the first wife (or husband) in a polygamous marriage meant you had considerable authority and influence over every other spouse that was added to your husband's household. Though this isn’t the case today, a common misconception is that there’s a certain “ranking” for each sister wife. Sometimes people think the first wife gets all the perks, others think it’s the newest one. 


The truth is, there is no hierarchy in modern poly relationships. Just like a two-person marriage, it’s up to the people in the relationship to create their own dynamics. Each person may have their own role or area of responsibility, but it’s not decided based on how long they’ve been in the family.


5. There Are 2 Forms of Polygamy

Polygamy is usually associated soley with a man having sister wives. Though that’s the most common form of polygamy, it’s not the only one. In fact, there are three different polygamous lifestyles. 


The most-known sect of polygamy is polygyny, which is when a husband has multiple wives at the same time. The opposite of that is polyandry, where a woman has multiple husbands simultaneously.  Polyandry is much more rare than polygyny for a variety of reasons.


6. Cheating Exists in Polygamous Relationships

A common misconception is that polygamists and polyamorous people alike are essentially just enabling themselves to cheat on their partners. Or, in other words, that cheating doesn’t exist. We get it - when polygamists are ready to expand their family, they begin dating. However, poly dating is not as casual as monogamous dating is, as weird as that may sound. 


That’s because polygamists are dating to marry. While there’s of course a more casual beginning phase of going on a few dates and getting to know one another, if a polygamist can see the person they’re dating becoming their spouse and joining their family, they’ll progress toward that path quicker than “normal.” The other partners are aware of their spouse dating, though, and usually have boundaries set in place that everyone’s comfortable with. So if those boundaries are broken, it’s safe to say anyone - including a polygamist - would consider that cheating.


7. Polygamy Dating is More Convenient Than You Think

If you’re interested in finding a sister wife or otherwise becoming a polygamist, poly dating is not as out of reach as you may think. In fact, you can do it right from your phone! All you have to do is find the polygamy dating app or website for you.


At Sister Wives, we believe love is love and pride ourselves on giving people a way to find it. We also provide the tools and resources you need to learn more about polygamy dating and the poly community as a whole. Whatever stage of your journey you’re on, we’re here to help!









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


In March 2021, Sister Wives star Meri Brown announced that her 76-year-old mother passed away, prompting her to pause operations at her Utah bed and breakfast. Mariah Brown, Meri’s daughter and only child with husband Kody Brown, operated Lizzie’s Heritage Inn together on-site with Meri’s belated mother, Bonnie Ahlstrom.


In the wake of this tremendous loss, Lizzie’s Heritage Inn closed down for two months--until recently, that is, when Meri took the reins again with equal parts fervor and suspense. According to one Instagram post, she credits her confidence to the fact that she has a team behind her. Sister wife Meri announced the reopening on Instagram with a newfound perspective.


Meri’s upbeat caption matches a cheerful selfie featuring the inn’s “Welcome” sign. In 2017, the entire polycule wasn’t 100% on board with the idea at first, with one sister wife demanding to see a business plan before the family made decisions. Even husband Kody refused to finance Meri’s dream venture, claiming lack of resources as the cause.


Ultimately, Meri purchased her grandmother’s four-bedroom home in Parowan (several hours away from their then-home in Flagstaff, Arizona) and got the ball rolling with the help of her mother who acted as innkeeper until her death.


Despite this personal and professional success, sister wife Meri’s relationship with Kody has been deteriorating the past few years. A practical divorce, a catfishing scandal, lack of quality one-on-one time together, and other marriage stressors have strained their long-time connection. 


They attend therapy to improve their communication styles and address marital issues, but we are left to wonder whether their relationship can fully recover.


On the bright side, this sister wife has a village she can count on beyond her poly family. As we’ve all witnessed the past year, this support is extremely important, especially in times of loss and change. 


Fans are happy to hear Meri Brown say, “I have my people to lean on, and lean on them I do!”









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Tell someone you’re in the process of finding a second wife as a husband, and you might get some questions and a few raised eyebrows. Tell someone you’re looking for a second husband as a wife, and you might get a full lecture about why it’s wrong and why you should reconsider. 


Lately, there have been many negative opinions thrown around regarding polyandry--the practice of having more than one husband. It might be considered rare in this day and time, but polyandry does exist, and the reasons are varied. 


So let’s explore polyandry as a whole to gain a better understanding of why it may be regarded in a negative light.


How common is polyandry?

Although polyandry remains a unique arrangement, it can be found (and has been present) in nearly all continents. In particular, researchers have studied and surveyed societies in Asia and Africa to better understand this union type. 


During my investigation, I found no exact number that reveals how many families practice polyandry. For the sake of this article, a conservative guess would be that 0.47% of the human population is polyandrous.


Experts have put together a list of possible reasons why polyandry occurs. Frankly, many of them are based on evolutionary concepts, and there needs to be more focus on modern reasons not just in certain parts of the world, but in all societies.


Here are several motives behind polyandry.


Socioeconomic

In older cultures where polyandry is common, socioeconomic conditions perpetuate this type of relationship. For instance, some communities in India and Nepal practice polyandry because families do not want to break up land inheritances when multiple brothers marry different women.


Under monogamy, these land inheritances would be divided between the siblings, and the resulting land portions would be too small to farm effectively. Additionally, men moving away to marry different women further deplete their parents’ resources, resulting in poor living conditions for the parental unit.


Geographic

Some cultures are polyandrous because of their geographic location. This applies to isolated communities and communities with little access to resources. Thus, monogamous marriages with multiple children would not be feasible.


Evolutionary

In other instances, the imbalance between the male population and the female population has also led to polyandry. Although a man might be a suitable bachelor, he may be competing with many other males in the community. The logical solution is entering a polyandrous marriage. 


Combined, the conditions mentioned above all make polyandry the best option to promote survival. Instead of focusing on carrying on the family line by joining a monogamous marriage and producing an heir, males in polyandrous societies are typically more influenced by the community’s overall well-being.


Difficulties with finding a second husband

Although males may accept the fact that they might not produce an heir in a polyandrous marriage, they might still struggle with this truth throughout the relationship. 


In reality, the idea that they are less likely to father their genetic children in a polyandrous marriage is a major stressor. In the same vein, sexual jealousy is a significant problem in polyandrous homes.


As a result, men often seek out and prefer younger wives who have a higher chance of giving them children. However, not all poly couples or groups want children. Other instances of polyandry are a result of the need for protection against intruders who may prey on wives when the husbands are away from the home for too long.


The first husband and wife would rather ensure safety than maintain a monogamous relationship and risk fatal harm. Other obstacles polyandrous households face are similar to any other poly relationship. These challenges include jealousy, unequal affection and resource allocation, and poor connections overall.


Benefits of polyandry

Likewise, polyandry’s benefits mirror the benefits of finding a second wife. Particularly in Western nations, these benefits consist of more shared resources, a larger support network for the whole family, and more assistance in child-rearing.


For others, sexual and/or emotional satisfaction may be the most appealing aspect of having multiple husbands. You might just be someone who enjoys meeting other people, getting to know them, and sharing them with your significant others. You might be someone who wishes to be that supportive second husband to a hardworking wife. 


You might be enthralled by the idea of spending the rest of your days not just with one person, but many others who feel the same. We get it: the monogamous lifestyle isn’t for everyone. That’s why we founded Sister Wives in the first place--to help you find your people without judgment.


So why the judgment against polyandry? One word: bigotry. Many believe that polyandry tips the power too much in women’s favor. Others believe that polyandry violates the laws of marriage and nature. Others balk at the idea of men willingly handing over the reins to women in a household. 


No matter the brand of sexism and intolerance, it’s almost always absurd.


What’s our stance at Sister Wives?


This is to say that the sensational articles questioning or even attacking polyandry come from closed minds. Additionally, polyandry isn’t just “a misguided attempt by activists to equalize men and women” like polygamist Musa Mseleku would have you believe. Although equality and balanced power dynamics are fringe benefits of polyandry and sister wife relationships in general, it’s not the main driving force behind it.


We must keep in mind that people also choose polyandry for no other reason than wanting more meaningful relationships or more joy in their lives.


At the risk of sounding cliché, I’ll say it anyway: Love is love. Although we are called “Sister Wives,” our site offers much more than that. You can sign up as an individual, couple, or group and search for a female, male, couple, group, or all of the above. So whether you’re actively finding a second wife or wanting to explore polyandry, SisterWives.com is a safe space that allows you to be your authentic self.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


When you hear “polygamy” or “sister wives,” you might think of the original Mormons, Kody Brown and his multiple sister wives, or Jacob from the Christian Bible. One thing these characters have in common? Being white. You might be surprised to hear, then, that there is a significant part of the Asian, Latinx, Black, and Indigenous population that practices polygamy or another form of poly lifestyle in America.


Why do we hear so little about it? The answer is a little complex. It’s a mixture of sociocultural attitudes, a lack of representation in the poly world, and privilege. To clarify, this privilege is granted to white or white-passing poly community members, which often makes polygamy dating a tricky and disappointing journey for many people of color (POC).


As allies, we have the honor and responsibility of making the poly community more inclusive, more welcoming, and more secure for everyone regardless of race. Like in many spaces within society, the polygamy dating sphere is tinged with prejudice. Let’s take a look at why this is so, and what we can do together to change it.


Do POC practice polygamy or polyamory?


Judging by the historically white face of the poly community (think shows like “Sister Wives” and Escaping Polygamy), most people assume that only white people partake in polygamy dating or plural relationships. In actuality, some studies have shown that people of color are just as likely to engage in consensual non-monogamy
Additionally, there has been an uptick of poly dating in the black community. Whether it’s due to wanting sister wives, needing economic security, or having more control over children’s education is still up for debate, but it’s rising nonetheless.
However, since POC are not represented well in the poly world, they might feel hesitant to share and be public about their lifestyles with friends and family. In particular, poly Asian and Latinx are less likely to divulge their full identities to family members, which may contribute to our lack of knowledge about the precise number of POC in the poly dating world.
People of color also often feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe in poly networks, especially at in-person meetings or in online forums. This discomfort is perhaps rooted in the fetishization of and discrimination against POC, which is then ignored or even inflamed by white leaders in our community.
Kevin A. Patterson, a Black poly community member and author of Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, noted that he often disagrees with how white organizers treat POC attendees at poly events. 
Holding his ground, he points out where leaders need improvement, and this has sometimes led to real change taking place. The other times it doesn’t, he is alienated altogether by the people in charge. It’s Patterson and other peers like him that we need to listen to.


Common challenges POC face


When I read about poly lifestyles and race, I come across recurring obstacles POC face. These issues keep them not just from attending poly events, but typically prohibits them from trying out the lifestyle in the first place.


● POC are afraid of being reduced to and treated like a fetish. This is especially true for women of color.● POC do not share the white privilege of living a nontraditional lifestyle with little consequence. POC fear that others will resort to stereotypical insults about POC being vulgar, indecent, and/or backwards when admitting that they’re polyamorous. In contrast, white people receive relatively less backlash for this choice.● Many POC simply cannot afford the resources needed in polygamy dating. This includes time and money.● POC families are less likely to be familiar with poly terms. This results in a big misunderstanding of or lack of knowledge about consensual non-monogamy, polygamy, polyamory, polygyny, and other poly subcategories. In the end, many poly POC avoid sharing their lifestyles with family in fear of rejection.


So what can white allies/partners do to protect POC in the poly community?


Just as we must make sure POC are safe in other shared spaces like schools, offices, and public commercial establishments, we must create room for everyone in the poly realm. This process of unlearning biases, calling out racism, and discussing difficult issues is continuous.


Check your own problematic attitude(s), if any.


Like I mentioned above, a big barrier to more POC joining the poly world is feeling like a fetish or object to others, especially to white partners. Having a kink or personal preference about someone (e.g. funny, muscular, smart) is dramatically different than seeking out sister wives who meet a race criteria. This brings us to our next point.


Don’t be afraid to call out others’ racist attitudes.


If you know someone (or a couple) who actively seek out sister wives by virtue of race and color, it’s your responsibility to remind them of the racist agenda behind their actions. This might create tension in your personal relationship, but on the flip side, it might awaken them to a process of unlearning and letting go of their questionable mindsets.


Even if it’s uncomfortable, keep talking about racism and discrimination.


Some conversations will be more difficult than others, but when the going gets tough, you just keep going. To become real allies to POC, we must be open to discussion. To do so, we must educate ourselves and educate others on what it means to have privilege and how to wield it in a way that lifts others up.


Learn about racial and social issues from POC.


What better way to learn how to be a better ally than learning from actual people of color? Nowadays, knowledge is always available at our fingertips in the form of videos, articles, research reports, podcasts, and books. 
There’s no excuse to be uneducated on racial matters. This knowledge and self-awareness help deepen the trust between you and poly POC in your life that experience discrimination every day. 







Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Why is Polygamy Illegal?

The reason polygamy and the act of plural marriage as a whole is illegal is complicated. The short answer is: It seems that it’s just easier for lawmakers to keep it outlawed because essentially all systems and policies that America operates on are all built around the concept of two spouse households. Legalizing poly marriages would basically entail an overhaul of all of these systems.  


Now for the long answer, which requires a bit of a history lesson:


Polygamy was outlawed in federal territories in 1862 by the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act, signed into law by Abraham Lincoln (yes… THAT long ago). The act was directed at Mormons who practiced plural marriage and the resulting property dominance this gave them in the Utah Territory. Basically, it was outlawed because the government felt the Mormon church had too much control over land in Utah, which was not yet an official state.


Though enforcement of the law didn’t begin until 1887, the Mormon church had officially discontinued the practice of plural marriage by 1890. This was the only way they would be granted ownership of their assets back, which they received three years later. 


However, existing plural marriages were not dissolved. This group of people broke away from the official Mormon church and called themselves Mormon Fundamentalists. Many of the polygamists in North America, including Kody Brown of Sister Wives, identify as this. We’ll expand on this later. 


Today, plural marriage - referred to legally as “bigamy” - is outlawed in all 50 states and all U.S. territories. It is enforced on a state level, which is why Utah was able to decriminalize polygamy last year. Keep in mind that decriminalizing is different than legalizing. To legalize plural marriage in all U.S. states and territories, a federal law or Supreme Court ruling (like Obergefell v. Hodges) would have to be passed that overturned all state laws that make it illegal. 


The reason this hasn’t happened, like the reason it was outlawed in the first place, is that the tax systems, healthcare system, immigration system, etc. all operate on the basis that you are either single or married to one spouse. This means there would have to be a lot of policy changes and updates to both accommodate plural marriages as well as prevent people from finding “loopholes.”


It’s ironic that as old a practice polygamy is, it’s somehow ahead of its time in terms of the American societal and legal structure. If you’ve ever wondered why poly marriages weren’t legalized soon after same-sex marriages (because even though polygamy is not a sexuality, thus not part of LGBTQ+) it’s partially because same-sex marriage still only permits two people. Plus, there was a much larger push from society for the legalization of same-sex marriage as the LGBTQ+ community is far larger than the poly community.


Explaining the Stigma Polygamy And Polyamory

Several religions practice polygamy around the world. The main (if not only) religion that practices it in the U.S. are the Mormon Fundamentalists we mentioned earlier. This group of people is mainly comprised of descendants from the original fundamentalists that lived in Utah when polygamy was outlawed. 


So, a lot of people were born into the life of a polygamist - many of which didn’t consent to it. These cases raise the issue of consent among polygamous as well as polyamorous relationships, and rightfully so. All parties of a poly relationship should be willing and consenting individuals. If a partner enters a polygamous marriage at a young age and later feels it’s not the right lifestyle for them, they should have every right to leave amicably. 


This is an important issue to acknowledge and face head-on. Though these actions don’t summarize the entire poly community, they do affect us as a whole. Polygamy isn’t a big enough community in the U.S. for people from the outside looking in to know we aren’t all the same. 


That’s why we wanted to write this post: Because it’s important not to hide from the issues that members of our community have created to show that not only do we not condone that behavior, we also won’t enable it. 


It’s also important to note that while polygamy has been practiced religiously, you don’t have to be a member of a certain religion to become a polygamist. The role religion plays on the bias toward poly people isn’t just in the background of our community, but also in the way other conservative religions view us. 


Like we said, the polygamous community is relatively small, especially in comparison to some religious groups such as Christianity, for example. That’s not to say that all Christians automatically disapprove of polygamy but the amount that do, do so loudly. This created a certain narrative that polygamists haven’t had the platform to speak on until recently, though we could use more representation than a reality show or two.


At Sister Wives, we believe you don’t have to limit yourself to being one thing or the other. We welcome people of all different types of faith and backgrounds into the polygamous community. It’s just important to understand the different stigmas toward poly people and the roots of each of them. Whether you’re thinking about becoming a polygamist or just wanting to educate yourself, it’s important to know the background of something in order to truly understand it.


How Society Feels About Polygamy

Though younger generations are increasingly open-minded toward polygamy, some biases still remain. The main stigma around polygamy revolves around the abuse some religious groups have allowed, particularly towards the wives. Obviously, modern polygamists don’t condone or practice that - but it’s understandable why people would assume we all fall under the same umbrella.


There’s also the hyper-conservative group that loudly oppose polygamous and polyamorous marriages the same way they opposed same-sex marriages. The fact is, no matter how much new information you provide them, there are people who will never change their opinions. Which is fine, but they are not the face of public opinion. 


After doing a bit of research online, we found that the majority of people either support modern poly relationships or… just don’t care. There might be a bit of initial surprise when you introduce yourself as polygamous, but more than likely it will wear off after a few rounds of questions. Being poly is a huge part of our identity but it’s not all we have to offer, and good people will be able to understand that and move along.


We hope you found this article insightful and can walk away with a better understanding of the stigma around polygamy. People at the beginning of their poly journey may be intimidated by the biases people may have toward them should they become a polygamist. If you think about it, it’s mainly because you just don’t know what to expect in terms of how people will react. 


Remember, one of the greatest advantages of polygamy and polyamory alike is that you won’t be alone. Not only will you gain partners, but you also gain a community of people who have been where you are and can help. That’s why at Sister Wives, we offer resources including educational articles and several ways to interact with others in the poly community, such as our forum. These things and more are what make Sister Wives the best poly matchmaking site out there!









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Poly dating is a fated convergence of lives--in some cases, it might result in blended families with children. While most monogamous partnerships celebrate Father’s day reflexively on the third Sunday of June every year, you might be under additional pressure if you’re in the poly dating world with multiple people. 


In 1922, Dr. Gary Chapman popularized love languages through his book The Five Love Languages.. Today, the main points still resonate with most people in relationships. So according to your husband or partner’s personality, they might appreciate one token of love more than the other on Father’s Day. 


Let’s explore the main love languages and what gifts are associated with them. We’ll include both material and immaterial gifts that go beyond a greeting card.


If their love language is giving or receiving gifts

Gift-giving and receiving gifts are common love languages in any relationship, whether it’s a polygamous household or not. Although the central theme of any holiday shouldn’t be about material things, gift-giving is more than just monetary value.


A carefully chosen antique vase or a handmade leather bag tells your partner that this very thing reminded you of them. This concrete token of love is rooted in the thought behind the present, rather than the actual thing, although the gift itself is a great bonus.


To proceed, consider your partner’s interests and find something that shows them you have taken inventory of what they like, and thought about how this gift will impact them. Do they have a pottery hobby? Try giving them a new trimming tool. Are they always complaining about a strained neck in the morning? Research the best pillows online and have one delivered to your home (or theirs).


If you’re eschewing practicality and want to lean into sentimentality, anything handmade or personalized is always a big winner. Think custom photo albums, matching coffee mugs, framed artwork, etc.


If their love language is physical touch

Gifts centered around physical touch might be easier to deliver than other items on this list. Physical touch is also something you can offer all the time when you’re together, not just on a single holiday. 


However, if you want to make it extra special, a scheduled massage or cuddle night can make your partner feel loved. Depending on your relationship, you might also open up the room to more intimate activities--if it’s feasible, of course.


If their love language is acts of service

When it comes to acts of service, magnitude doesn’t matter much. It can be something as small as offering to do the grocery shopping for the month or something as big as sorting out the household’s financial matters, whether it’s calling banks or sorting documents.


One note about acts of service is that daily deeds can make a large impact on your relationship. By picking up the slack or recognizing where your partner needs help (before they even ask for it), you’re actively building a healthy, love-filled relationship.


As for Father’s Day, sweet gestures like cooking extra special meals for the week or running their errands for them during the weekend are some viable ideas.


If their love language is quality time

Quality time is essential in any relationship, but may even be more crucial when plunging into poly dating. When you’re in a polygamous relationship, a decline in quality time can stress out your connections. 


Although some polygamists participate in hierarchical relationships, many others strive to maintain a non-hierarchical status between everyone involved. Thus, the challenge is how to allocate resources effectively.


Truthfully, this gets tricky when children are involved. Everyone’s lives are filled with different activities, work schedules, and social obligations, so that some relationships may preserve quality time better than others do.


For Father’s Day, organize a date with you and your partner alone with no interruptions. Unbroken conversation, full eye contact, and thorough mindfulness help set your connection in stone. Check in with others in the polycule, and ensure your calendars are all synced to make the one-on-one time a success.


If their love language is words of affirmation

Words of affirmation require no money at all, only thought and affection. This love language places importance on verbal presents like declarations of love, thoughtful compliments, words of encouragement, and meaningful discussion.


A video message from everyone in the family expressing their love is a fantastic expression of words of affirmation. Another idea is sitting with everyone for dinner and taking turns vocalizing what you appreciate about the father figure (or figures) in the household.


Keep in mind that daily words of affirmation are an effortless way of ensuring your partner feels loved and understood, so take advantage of this love language whenever you can.


Should I celebrate Father’s Day when trying poly dating?

Not every poly family has children, although many poly households do. If you’re a couple with children and are looking to add a second male figure into the mix, timing is key. Have an adult family meeting and decide when is the appropriate time to introduce a new figure to your children. 


This discussion might also include when to invite them for big events like Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Winter Holidays. As always, an open dialogue is key to mutual understanding.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


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