Chris's article

In March 2021, Sister Wives star Meri Brown announced that her 76-year-old mother passed away, prompting her to pause operations at her Utah bed and breakfast. Mariah Brown, Meri’s daughter and only child with husband Kody Brown, operated Lizzie’s Heritage Inn together on-site with Meri’s belated mother, Bonnie Ahlstrom.


In the wake of this tremendous loss, Lizzie’s Heritage Inn closed down for two months--until recently, that is, when Meri took the reins again with equal parts fervor and suspense. According to one Instagram post, she credits her confidence to the fact that she has a team behind her. Sister wife Meri announced the reopening on Instagram with a newfound perspective.


Meri’s upbeat caption matches a cheerful selfie featuring the inn’s “Welcome” sign. In 2017, the entire polycule wasn’t 100% on board with the idea at first, with one sister wife demanding to see a business plan before the family made decisions. Even husband Kody refused to finance Meri’s dream venture, claiming lack of resources as the cause.


Ultimately, Meri purchased her grandmother’s four-bedroom home in Parowan (several hours away from their then-home in Flagstaff, Arizona) and got the ball rolling with the help of her mother who acted as innkeeper until her death.


Despite this personal and professional success, sister wife Meri’s relationship with Kody has been deteriorating the past few years. A practical divorce, a catfishing scandal, lack of quality one-on-one time together, and other marriage stressors have strained their long-time connection. 


They attend therapy to improve their communication styles and address marital issues, but we are left to wonder whether their relationship can fully recover.


On the bright side, this sister wife has a village she can count on beyond her poly family. As we’ve all witnessed the past year, this support is extremely important, especially in times of loss and change. 


Fans are happy to hear Meri Brown say, “I have my people to lean on, and lean on them I do!”









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Tell someone you’re in the process of finding a second wife as a husband, and you might get some questions and a few raised eyebrows. Tell someone you’re looking for a second husband as a wife, and you might get a full lecture about why it’s wrong and why you should reconsider. 


Lately, there have been many negative opinions thrown around regarding polyandry--the practice of having more than one husband. It might be considered rare in this day and time, but polyandry does exist, and the reasons are varied. 


So let’s explore polyandry as a whole to gain a better understanding of why it may be regarded in a negative light.


How common is polyandry?

Although polyandry remains a unique arrangement, it can be found (and has been present) in nearly all continents. In particular, researchers have studied and surveyed societies in Asia and Africa to better understand this union type. 


During my investigation, I found no exact number that reveals how many families practice polyandry. For the sake of this article, a conservative guess would be that 0.47% of the human population is polyandrous.


Experts have put together a list of possible reasons why polyandry occurs. Frankly, many of them are based on evolutionary concepts, and there needs to be more focus on modern reasons not just in certain parts of the world, but in all societies.


Here are several motives behind polyandry.


Socioeconomic

In older cultures where polyandry is common, socioeconomic conditions perpetuate this type of relationship. For instance, some communities in India and Nepal practice polyandry because families do not want to break up land inheritances when multiple brothers marry different women.


Under monogamy, these land inheritances would be divided between the siblings, and the resulting land portions would be too small to farm effectively. Additionally, men moving away to marry different women further deplete their parents’ resources, resulting in poor living conditions for the parental unit.


Geographic

Some cultures are polyandrous because of their geographic location. This applies to isolated communities and communities with little access to resources. Thus, monogamous marriages with multiple children would not be feasible.


Evolutionary

In other instances, the imbalance between the male population and the female population has also led to polyandry. Although a man might be a suitable bachelor, he may be competing with many other males in the community. The logical solution is entering a polyandrous marriage. 


Combined, the conditions mentioned above all make polyandry the best option to promote survival. Instead of focusing on carrying on the family line by joining a monogamous marriage and producing an heir, males in polyandrous societies are typically more influenced by the community’s overall well-being.


Difficulties with finding a second husband

Although males may accept the fact that they might not produce an heir in a polyandrous marriage, they might still struggle with this truth throughout the relationship. 


In reality, the idea that they are less likely to father their genetic children in a polyandrous marriage is a major stressor. In the same vein, sexual jealousy is a significant problem in polyandrous homes.


As a result, men often seek out and prefer younger wives who have a higher chance of giving them children. However, not all poly couples or groups want children. Other instances of polyandry are a result of the need for protection against intruders who may prey on wives when the husbands are away from the home for too long.


The first husband and wife would rather ensure safety than maintain a monogamous relationship and risk fatal harm. Other obstacles polyandrous households face are similar to any other poly relationship. These challenges include jealousy, unequal affection and resource allocation, and poor connections overall.


Benefits of polyandry

Likewise, polyandry’s benefits mirror the benefits of finding a second wife. Particularly in Western nations, these benefits consist of more shared resources, a larger support network for the whole family, and more assistance in child-rearing.


For others, sexual and/or emotional satisfaction may be the most appealing aspect of having multiple husbands. You might just be someone who enjoys meeting other people, getting to know them, and sharing them with your significant others. You might be someone who wishes to be that supportive second husband to a hardworking wife. 


You might be enthralled by the idea of spending the rest of your days not just with one person, but many others who feel the same. We get it: the monogamous lifestyle isn’t for everyone. That’s why we founded Sister Wives in the first place--to help you find your people without judgment.


So why the judgment against polyandry? One word: bigotry. Many believe that polyandry tips the power too much in women’s favor. Others believe that polyandry violates the laws of marriage and nature. Others balk at the idea of men willingly handing over the reins to women in a household. 


No matter the brand of sexism and intolerance, it’s almost always absurd.


What’s our stance at Sister Wives?


This is to say that the sensational articles questioning or even attacking polyandry come from closed minds. Additionally, polyandry isn’t just “a misguided attempt by activists to equalize men and women” like polygamist Musa Mseleku would have you believe. Although equality and balanced power dynamics are fringe benefits of polyandry and sister wife relationships in general, it’s not the main driving force behind it.


We must keep in mind that people also choose polyandry for no other reason than wanting more meaningful relationships or more joy in their lives.


At the risk of sounding cliché, I’ll say it anyway: Love is love. Although we are called “Sister Wives,” our site offers much more than that. You can sign up as an individual, couple, or group and search for a female, male, couple, group, or all of the above. So whether you’re actively finding a second wife or wanting to explore polyandry, SisterWives.com is a safe space that allows you to be your authentic self.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


When you hear “polygamy” or “sister wives,” you might think of the original Mormons, Kody Brown and his multiple sister wives, or Jacob from the Christian Bible. One thing these characters have in common? Being white. You might be surprised to hear, then, that there is a significant part of the Asian, Latinx, Black, and Indigenous population that practices polygamy or another form of poly lifestyle in America.


Why do we hear so little about it? The answer is a little complex. It’s a mixture of sociocultural attitudes, a lack of representation in the poly world, and privilege. To clarify, this privilege is granted to white or white-passing poly community members, which often makes polygamy dating a tricky and disappointing journey for many people of color (POC).


As allies, we have the honor and responsibility of making the poly community more inclusive, more welcoming, and more secure for everyone regardless of race. Like in many spaces within society, the polygamy dating sphere is tinged with prejudice. Let’s take a look at why this is so, and what we can do together to change it.


Do POC practice polygamy or polyamory?


Judging by the historically white face of the poly community (think shows like “Sister Wives” and Escaping Polygamy), most people assume that only white people partake in polygamy dating or plural relationships. In actuality, some studies have shown that people of color are just as likely to engage in consensual non-monogamy
Additionally, there has been an uptick of poly dating in the black community. Whether it’s due to wanting sister wives, needing economic security, or having more control over children’s education is still up for debate, but it’s rising nonetheless.
However, since POC are not represented well in the poly world, they might feel hesitant to share and be public about their lifestyles with friends and family. In particular, poly Asian and Latinx are less likely to divulge their full identities to family members, which may contribute to our lack of knowledge about the precise number of POC in the poly dating world.
People of color also often feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or unsafe in poly networks, especially at in-person meetings or in online forums. This discomfort is perhaps rooted in the fetishization of and discrimination against POC, which is then ignored or even inflamed by white leaders in our community.
Kevin A. Patterson, a Black poly community member and author of Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, noted that he often disagrees with how white organizers treat POC attendees at poly events. 
Holding his ground, he points out where leaders need improvement, and this has sometimes led to real change taking place. The other times it doesn’t, he is alienated altogether by the people in charge. It’s Patterson and other peers like him that we need to listen to.


Common challenges POC face


When I read about poly lifestyles and race, I come across recurring obstacles POC face. These issues keep them not just from attending poly events, but typically prohibits them from trying out the lifestyle in the first place.


● POC are afraid of being reduced to and treated like a fetish. This is especially true for women of color.● POC do not share the white privilege of living a nontraditional lifestyle with little consequence. POC fear that others will resort to stereotypical insults about POC being vulgar, indecent, and/or backwards when admitting that they’re polyamorous. In contrast, white people receive relatively less backlash for this choice.● Many POC simply cannot afford the resources needed in polygamy dating. This includes time and money.● POC families are less likely to be familiar with poly terms. This results in a big misunderstanding of or lack of knowledge about consensual non-monogamy, polygamy, polyamory, polygyny, and other poly subcategories. In the end, many poly POC avoid sharing their lifestyles with family in fear of rejection.


So what can white allies/partners do to protect POC in the poly community?


Just as we must make sure POC are safe in other shared spaces like schools, offices, and public commercial establishments, we must create room for everyone in the poly realm. This process of unlearning biases, calling out racism, and discussing difficult issues is continuous.


Check your own problematic attitude(s), if any.


Like I mentioned above, a big barrier to more POC joining the poly world is feeling like a fetish or object to others, especially to white partners. Having a kink or personal preference about someone (e.g. funny, muscular, smart) is dramatically different than seeking out sister wives who meet a race criteria. This brings us to our next point.


Don’t be afraid to call out others’ racist attitudes.


If you know someone (or a couple) who actively seek out sister wives by virtue of race and color, it’s your responsibility to remind them of the racist agenda behind their actions. This might create tension in your personal relationship, but on the flip side, it might awaken them to a process of unlearning and letting go of their questionable mindsets.


Even if it’s uncomfortable, keep talking about racism and discrimination.


Some conversations will be more difficult than others, but when the going gets tough, you just keep going. To become real allies to POC, we must be open to discussion. To do so, we must educate ourselves and educate others on what it means to have privilege and how to wield it in a way that lifts others up.


Learn about racial and social issues from POC.


What better way to learn how to be a better ally than learning from actual people of color? Nowadays, knowledge is always available at our fingertips in the form of videos, articles, research reports, podcasts, and books. 
There’s no excuse to be uneducated on racial matters. This knowledge and self-awareness help deepen the trust between you and poly POC in your life that experience discrimination every day. 







Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Why is Polygamy Illegal?

The reason polygamy and the act of plural marriage as a whole is illegal is complicated. The short answer is: It seems that it’s just easier for lawmakers to keep it outlawed because essentially all systems and policies that America operates on are all built around the concept of two spouse households. Legalizing poly marriages would basically entail an overhaul of all of these systems.  


Now for the long answer, which requires a bit of a history lesson:


Polygamy was outlawed in federal territories in 1862 by the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act, signed into law by Abraham Lincoln (yes… THAT long ago). The act was directed at Mormons who practiced plural marriage and the resulting property dominance this gave them in the Utah Territory. Basically, it was outlawed because the government felt the Mormon church had too much control over land in Utah, which was not yet an official state.


Though enforcement of the law didn’t begin until 1887, the Mormon church had officially discontinued the practice of plural marriage by 1890. This was the only way they would be granted ownership of their assets back, which they received three years later. 


However, existing plural marriages were not dissolved. This group of people broke away from the official Mormon church and called themselves Mormon Fundamentalists. Many of the polygamists in North America, including Kody Brown of Sister Wives, identify as this. We’ll expand on this later. 


Today, plural marriage - referred to legally as “bigamy” - is outlawed in all 50 states and all U.S. territories. It is enforced on a state level, which is why Utah was able to decriminalize polygamy last year. Keep in mind that decriminalizing is different than legalizing. To legalize plural marriage in all U.S. states and territories, a federal law or Supreme Court ruling (like Obergefell v. Hodges) would have to be passed that overturned all state laws that make it illegal. 


The reason this hasn’t happened, like the reason it was outlawed in the first place, is that the tax systems, healthcare system, immigration system, etc. all operate on the basis that you are either single or married to one spouse. This means there would have to be a lot of policy changes and updates to both accommodate plural marriages as well as prevent people from finding “loopholes.”


It’s ironic that as old a practice polygamy is, it’s somehow ahead of its time in terms of the American societal and legal structure. If you’ve ever wondered why poly marriages weren’t legalized soon after same-sex marriages (because even though polygamy is not a sexuality, thus not part of LGBTQ+) it’s partially because same-sex marriage still only permits two people. Plus, there was a much larger push from society for the legalization of same-sex marriage as the LGBTQ+ community is far larger than the poly community.


Explaining the Stigma Polygamy And Polyamory

Several religions practice polygamy around the world. The main (if not only) religion that practices it in the U.S. are the Mormon Fundamentalists we mentioned earlier. This group of people is mainly comprised of descendants from the original fundamentalists that lived in Utah when polygamy was outlawed. 


So, a lot of people were born into the life of a polygamist - many of which didn’t consent to it. These cases raise the issue of consent among polygamous as well as polyamorous relationships, and rightfully so. All parties of a poly relationship should be willing and consenting individuals. If a partner enters a polygamous marriage at a young age and later feels it’s not the right lifestyle for them, they should have every right to leave amicably. 


This is an important issue to acknowledge and face head-on. Though these actions don’t summarize the entire poly community, they do affect us as a whole. Polygamy isn’t a big enough community in the U.S. for people from the outside looking in to know we aren’t all the same. 


That’s why we wanted to write this post: Because it’s important not to hide from the issues that members of our community have created to show that not only do we not condone that behavior, we also won’t enable it. 


It’s also important to note that while polygamy has been practiced religiously, you don’t have to be a member of a certain religion to become a polygamist. The role religion plays on the bias toward poly people isn’t just in the background of our community, but also in the way other conservative religions view us. 


Like we said, the polygamous community is relatively small, especially in comparison to some religious groups such as Christianity, for example. That’s not to say that all Christians automatically disapprove of polygamy but the amount that do, do so loudly. This created a certain narrative that polygamists haven’t had the platform to speak on until recently, though we could use more representation than a reality show or two.


At Sister Wives, we believe you don’t have to limit yourself to being one thing or the other. We welcome people of all different types of faith and backgrounds into the polygamous community. It’s just important to understand the different stigmas toward poly people and the roots of each of them. Whether you’re thinking about becoming a polygamist or just wanting to educate yourself, it’s important to know the background of something in order to truly understand it.


How Society Feels About Polygamy

Though younger generations are increasingly open-minded toward polygamy, some biases still remain. The main stigma around polygamy revolves around the abuse some religious groups have allowed, particularly towards the wives. Obviously, modern polygamists don’t condone or practice that - but it’s understandable why people would assume we all fall under the same umbrella.


There’s also the hyper-conservative group that loudly oppose polygamous and polyamorous marriages the same way they opposed same-sex marriages. The fact is, no matter how much new information you provide them, there are people who will never change their opinions. Which is fine, but they are not the face of public opinion. 


After doing a bit of research online, we found that the majority of people either support modern poly relationships or… just don’t care. There might be a bit of initial surprise when you introduce yourself as polygamous, but more than likely it will wear off after a few rounds of questions. Being poly is a huge part of our identity but it’s not all we have to offer, and good people will be able to understand that and move along.


We hope you found this article insightful and can walk away with a better understanding of the stigma around polygamy. People at the beginning of their poly journey may be intimidated by the biases people may have toward them should they become a polygamist. If you think about it, it’s mainly because you just don’t know what to expect in terms of how people will react. 


Remember, one of the greatest advantages of polygamy and polyamory alike is that you won’t be alone. Not only will you gain partners, but you also gain a community of people who have been where you are and can help. That’s why at Sister Wives, we offer resources including educational articles and several ways to interact with others in the poly community, such as our forum. These things and more are what make Sister Wives the best poly matchmaking site out there!









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Poly dating is a fated convergence of lives--in some cases, it might result in blended families with children. While most monogamous partnerships celebrate Father’s day reflexively on the third Sunday of June every year, you might be under additional pressure if you’re in the poly dating world with multiple people. 


In 1922, Dr. Gary Chapman popularized love languages through his book The Five Love Languages.. Today, the main points still resonate with most people in relationships. So according to your husband or partner’s personality, they might appreciate one token of love more than the other on Father’s Day. 


Let’s explore the main love languages and what gifts are associated with them. We’ll include both material and immaterial gifts that go beyond a greeting card.


If their love language is giving or receiving gifts

Gift-giving and receiving gifts are common love languages in any relationship, whether it’s a polygamous household or not. Although the central theme of any holiday shouldn’t be about material things, gift-giving is more than just monetary value.


A carefully chosen antique vase or a handmade leather bag tells your partner that this very thing reminded you of them. This concrete token of love is rooted in the thought behind the present, rather than the actual thing, although the gift itself is a great bonus.


To proceed, consider your partner’s interests and find something that shows them you have taken inventory of what they like, and thought about how this gift will impact them. Do they have a pottery hobby? Try giving them a new trimming tool. Are they always complaining about a strained neck in the morning? Research the best pillows online and have one delivered to your home (or theirs).


If you’re eschewing practicality and want to lean into sentimentality, anything handmade or personalized is always a big winner. Think custom photo albums, matching coffee mugs, framed artwork, etc.


If their love language is physical touch

Gifts centered around physical touch might be easier to deliver than other items on this list. Physical touch is also something you can offer all the time when you’re together, not just on a single holiday. 


However, if you want to make it extra special, a scheduled massage or cuddle night can make your partner feel loved. Depending on your relationship, you might also open up the room to more intimate activities--if it’s feasible, of course.


If their love language is acts of service

When it comes to acts of service, magnitude doesn’t matter much. It can be something as small as offering to do the grocery shopping for the month or something as big as sorting out the household’s financial matters, whether it’s calling banks or sorting documents.


One note about acts of service is that daily deeds can make a large impact on your relationship. By picking up the slack or recognizing where your partner needs help (before they even ask for it), you’re actively building a healthy, love-filled relationship.


As for Father’s Day, sweet gestures like cooking extra special meals for the week or running their errands for them during the weekend are some viable ideas.


If their love language is quality time

Quality time is essential in any relationship, but may even be more crucial when plunging into poly dating. When you’re in a polygamous relationship, a decline in quality time can stress out your connections. 


Although some polygamists participate in hierarchical relationships, many others strive to maintain a non-hierarchical status between everyone involved. Thus, the challenge is how to allocate resources effectively.


Truthfully, this gets tricky when children are involved. Everyone’s lives are filled with different activities, work schedules, and social obligations, so that some relationships may preserve quality time better than others do.


For Father’s Day, organize a date with you and your partner alone with no interruptions. Unbroken conversation, full eye contact, and thorough mindfulness help set your connection in stone. Check in with others in the polycule, and ensure your calendars are all synced to make the one-on-one time a success.


If their love language is words of affirmation

Words of affirmation require no money at all, only thought and affection. This love language places importance on verbal presents like declarations of love, thoughtful compliments, words of encouragement, and meaningful discussion.


A video message from everyone in the family expressing their love is a fantastic expression of words of affirmation. Another idea is sitting with everyone for dinner and taking turns vocalizing what you appreciate about the father figure (or figures) in the household.


Keep in mind that daily words of affirmation are an effortless way of ensuring your partner feels loved and understood, so take advantage of this love language whenever you can.


Should I celebrate Father’s Day when trying poly dating?

Not every poly family has children, although many poly households do. If you’re a couple with children and are looking to add a second male figure into the mix, timing is key. Have an adult family meeting and decide when is the appropriate time to introduce a new figure to your children. 


This discussion might also include when to invite them for big events like Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Winter Holidays. As always, an open dialogue is key to mutual understanding.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Mother’s Day is a tricky holiday to celebrate indeed. More than likely, there are multiple women in your life you want to honor on this special day--two mother figures (your own mother and your partner’s mother) plus any sister wife in the family. Additionally, if you have daughters who are old enough to be mothers themselves, they need to be included in the equation, too. So how does it work in a poly relationship? When is it acceptable to introduce a potential sister wife to your children and celebrate holidays together? Who do you invite to the festivities? Let’s take a look at common questions regarding Mother’s Day in poly households.


How to spend Mother’s Day with sister wives

If you’re a man in a plural marriage, you might need to strategize. When in doubt, a big celebration with everyone included removes the risk of a sister wife feeling neglected. If time and resources permit, this holiday is also the perfect opportunity for quality one-on-one time with each sister wife. This precious day can help you establish some annual traditions like going out for dinner at a specific restaurant or visiting a place that means a lot to your relationship.


If you’re a sister wife and want to show how much you appreciate the other mamas in your relationship, even just a card, a bouquet of flowers, and a heartfelt speech can strengthen any bond. Likewise, a small act of love like preparing the day’s breakfast or offering to take their child (or children) for a few hours to free up time in their schedule can mean the world.


For established poly marriages with sister wives who have multiple children that have grown up together, this might not be a problem at all. You might already have a system in place where the host family rotates each year. Of course, not all poly relationships include children, and consequently, motherhood. Perhaps your dilemma is figuring out whose mother-in-law’s house you’ll visit for the day. In any case, clear communication and reasonable dialogue about expectations surrounding this holiday should not be avoided.


What’s the best gift for a sister wife with kids

We’ve all been there. We’ve struggled to pick out the right gift for a birthday or special occasion, and eventually settled for something generic. While generic works well for casual relationships like with coworkers or neighbors, it might spell disaster as a Mother’s Day offering.


Keep in mind that while being a mother can be a big part of a sister wife’s identity, that’s not their whole identity. Mothers in monogamous relationships also have other interests outside of caretaking, whether it’s a photography hobby, an annual international trip, or a reading club. Paying attention to a sister wife’s interests outside of family (whether you’re a partner or a fellow sister wife) and acknowledging it on big days like this only fosters a more loving relationship. My advice is to take note of their current likes and dislikes even before Mother’s Day, and pick out something with thought instead of opting for a gift they might end up returning to the store. While gift cards usually scream, “I didn’t know what to get you, so here’s $100 in credit,” it might actually work in your favor if the gift card is to a store or place a sister wife frequents.


When do we introduce someone to children at home?

Poly dating or not, this question baffles the best of us. Most love seekers follow the general rule of thumb of waiting three to six months before introducing someone to the family. This number might change depending on your children’s ages and therefore whether or not they have an understanding of your family dynamics. Moreover, you might introduce someone you (or you and your partner) are dating to friends before introducing them to your family. Why? Typically, meeting friends is less complicated and less stressful.


In terms of when to invite dating partners to big events at home, it depends. If your children have a close relationship with a sister wife (or unofficial sister wife) and see her as a mother figure, including her in Mother’s Day celebrations is natural. However, feelings are never clear cut, and your first wife (or the childrens’ mother) might not agree with sharing the title of Mom. Again, the key here is communication about expectations, but this time, you can extend the conversation to boundaries and family roles.


Other holidays with sister wives and poly families

The bottom line with poly families and holidays is that figuring out logistics might always be more effort than a nuclear family’s simple plans. This is especially true if sister wives and their children live in different households, or if the children have their own families, too.


The key to determining the best gift, venue, food, and entertainment is a matter of trial and error. You might not be able to control everything in life, but you can count on family members who would do anything to ensure your well-being, holiday or not. Together, you’ll figure out a system that works for everyone.









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


Poly dating apps (and dating apps in general) have changed the matchmaking game. In terms of convenience, better matches, and inclusivity, poly dating has definitely benefited from modern ingenuity. Even so, all the apps out there yield a different user experience depending on what a person is looking for in the dating world. 


Most poly apps are available on iOS and Android devices. Alternatively, many apps can be operated on a web browser, which is great if you’re using a laptop or desktop computer. I’ll walk you through some of the most popular poly apps available to help you determine the best one for you.


Sister Wives



















Other noteworthy features: The app is designed for members 17 and up, making it a little more accessible to young adults. Unlike other dating apps, Sister Wives focuses on poly relationships, helping you filter out incompatible matches right from the start. Moreover, our experts weed out fake profiles, ensuring you don’t encounter any scammers or suspicious individuals in our database. In other words, the Sister Wives app does much of the work for you so you have a better chance of meeting the right person or people sooner.


Feeld









  

Other noteworthy features: If you’re searching for love as a couple or a poly family, Feeld allows you to connect your profile with another person. This means you and your partner can chat with another person at the same time so you don’t have to log in and out of the same account multiple times a day on different devices. Additionally, Feeld’s Majestic membership offers features like sharing exclusive photos in your circle and getting notifications about who tagged you in the app. Feeld welcomes people of all genders and sexual identities--making each user feel safe while on the app.



OkCupid





 

Other noteworthy features: When signing up on either the website or app version of OkCupid, it’s straightforward. The matchmaking service gives you the option between non-monogamous, monogamous, or either relationship type right away. You can also specify between long-term relationships, short-term relationships, friends-only connections, or one-time meets. Their gender preferences are inclusive and create an accepting community for both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.


Ashley Madison


 

Other noteworthy features: Ashley Madison’s been mired in controversies over the years, though the service has revamped its image as an empowering app. With more than 65 million global users, the appeal is straightforward: you are very likely to match with someone in your area. If short-term flings or hookups are something you’re after, Ashley Madison might be best. This poly dating app offers a premium membership that gives you access to unlimited messaging--a plus no matter what type of poly relationship you’re after. Keep in mind though that the users here typically aren’t seeking long-term, committed poly connections, so take this app with a grain of salt.


#OPEN


 

Other noteworthy features: This poly dating app doesn’t limit your matches and searches to a specified mile radius. Instead, you can connect and chat with any user (or any couple) from anywhere. It emphasizes ethical non-monogamy, though it allows you to search for almost any tag including relationship anarchy to a specific kink. If you don’t identify with any of the existing tags, the app allows you to create your own tag to help you refine your search and match with people who want the same thing. With over 50,000 Android phone members already on top of iPhone folks, matching with others seems easy. Like the Feeld app, you can chat as a single or a couple.


Other factors to consider when trying polygamy dating apps


Additional charges: While most apps are free to download and use, there may be an additional price for select features. In app-purchases include monthly or yearly subscriptions, more extensive privacy settings, advanced communication tools, and even unrestricted messaging. Note that in-app purchases range anywhere from $1.99 up to $70.00 in some cases, with auto-renewal charges a common practice.


Operating systems: Like other smartphone apps, poly dating apps roll out upgrades frequently to better serve their users. This might mean you have to update your operating system as well, whether you’re an Android or Apple owner.


Language availability: Some apps provide language support in over 20 languages, while others provide support in English or another majority language only. This factor might be an important one to consider depending on your location and native tongue.


The founders: Some apps are transparent with their founders and their histories. For many others like myself, this provides not just an element of relatability, but a confidence in people who have access to their personal information.


What’s the bottom line? No app may be perfect in every way, but it’s worth trying out multiple ones to see what features you do and don’t enjoy. You might find that profile sharing for couples is a more important feature to you than unlimited messaging, for instance. If you have experience with any of the apps above besides Sister Wives, let us know in the comments below. We’d love to hear your input.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


A few weeks ago, we posted an article on Millennials and Poly Dating Sites. Millennials have always been considered the most open-minded generation. That is, until their younger siblings came of age. 


Generation Z covers the years 1997-2012, making them between 9-24 years old. Even though over half of Gen Z are under 18 years old, we still have plenty of research on their opinions and behaviors. 


Does Gen Z Use Dating Apps?

According to a 2018 Global News study, 73.2% of Gen Z use dating apps. While many millennials grew up alongside technology, Gen Z either can’t remember a time before social media existed, or weren’t alive yet. This has normalized online dating and dating apps, whereas previous generations may have felt awkward or uncomfortable doing so.


In 2020, Tinder surveyed 3,453 Gen Z users. Of that number, one fifth said they would explore polyamory. It also found that 71% feel that online platforms have allowed them to connect with others, and three quarters said dating apps help them to get to know themselves better.


In our opinion, these numbers will only continue to grow as Gen Z ages. This is partially because some people with less open-minded, Baby Boomer parents may not feel comfortable exploring new options until they’re not living at home. 


However, a huge contributing factor is how technology and popular culture have made information on polygamy and polyamory more accessible than ever. Let’s take a look at how poly dating is portrayed in the media and on social media.


How Gen Z Learns About Poly Dating

Like their older millennial siblings, Gen Z-ers were probably first exposed to poly lifestyles through television. Before the Sister Wives TV show, there were shows like MTV’s True Life, which featured an episode on polyamory in 2009. 


Today, they can further their observations by following social media influencers who are poly. There’s a wide variety of polyamorous, polygamous, and otherwise non-monogamous bloggers, YouTubers, Instagrammers, and TikTokkers. Some influencers and celebrities have even gone through the process of exploring, then coming out as poly or non-monogamous while sharing their journey with their audience in real-time.


What this has done is further normalize the poly lifestyle as a whole. We can see this by observing an app like TikTok, where Gen Z (it’s biggest audience) can stumble upon a poly person’s videos without specifically searching for poly related videos. Sometimes, the video isn’t even about polyamory or anything, but the creator happens to live a poly lifestyle openly and frequently posts videos answering their audience’s questions. 


While reality shows like Sister Wives have given our community exposure, there’s an added layer of relatability when it comes to influencers versus reality TV stars. This may be a result of some reality TV shows seeming produced, or just the fact that they’re on TV makes them less “real” in our minds sometimes. 


Additionally, a poly influencer’s content usually isn’t defined solely by their lifestyle. Obviously, we know that being poly isn’t the sole defining factor about ourselves, but this is something often overlooked by other people. Many people hear poly - especially polygamy - and expect you to look and act a certain way, or at least for your whole personality to be based on this one aspect about yourself.


So by learning about poly lifestyles through someone they trust, but whose content focuses on other things, it shows Gen Z-ers that being poly is, well, pretty normal. By not making their poly lifestyle the main focus of their content, they show their young viewers that it’s not something that’s always going to be a spectacle to everyone. 


However, there are some people who post content that does focus heavily on their poly lifestyle, which has its own benefits. These are the influencers who people that think they might be poly go to get some more information or just observe their dynamic. 


Gen Z has a unique opportunity to learn about poly people and families from a variety of different perspectives. And, they can do so comfortably and at their own pace without having to actually interact with the people they’re observing.


Will More of Gen Z be Poly Than Previous Generations?

With all of the above being said, it’s important to note that increased exposure and normalization of poly dating doesn’t equate to more people being poly when they’re older. While we have seen an uptick in consensual non-monogamy in Millennials and older Gen Z-ers, a lot of people also choose to not label themselves, which is perfectly fine. 


The reason we’re writing this article isn’t to hypothesize that there will be more polyamorous or polygamous relationships in the future. Instead, we simply think it shows that more people will be open to the idea of it for themselves as well as for others. 


What we think (and hope) the information here shows is a continued increase in not only acceptance, but support for the poly community. Knowing that Gen Z is open-minded like Millennials but more outspoken activists on causes they believe in, we can’t help but have faith that this generation will help bring progress to our community. 


How the Sister Wives Dating Website is a Resource

We hope this and all our articles are a resource to people of all ages and generations who are exploring polygamy. The key to understanding is through connection, something we are passionate about here. 


That’s why it’s free to access several resources on our website, including articles, our member blogs, user forums and more. Our members have shared our real experiences and perspectives in the hopes that someone else can learn from it. 


We encourage everyone interested in poly lifestyles to read up on these, even if they’re just intrigued by the topic, and look forward to seeing what progress Generation Z brings to the poly community in the future!









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


In the poly dating world, sometimes it feels like just setting up a legitimate date is half the battle. Casual dating is great if that’s what you’re looking for, but as a polygamist, you’re probably only looking for something serious. Here are some signs of what to look for when figuring out if your newest partner is serious about polygamy - and about you.


Looking for your perfect match? Download the official Sister Wives polygamy dating app FREE in the Google Play Store or launch our PWA App for Apple and other mobile devices!


Their Actions Match Their Words

When you’ve found someone who is serious about polygamy, the most obvious sign is that their actions align with their words. If you set a date with them, you know you can rely on them to show up. Too often, we find ourselves accepting partners who don’t value our time and effort. Setting a date with someone who isn’t serious about you usually feels like a tentative plan, even if neither of you has expressed this. 


Sure, sometimes things come up. Some people do have crazy jobs and/or schedules. However, this doesn’t excuse them if they constantly reschedule or forgetting dates. It also doesn’t excuse them if they continuously don’t call or text when they say they will. The fact is, if someone is serious about joining your poly family, they’ll make time. 


This goes both ways. If a partner acts loving and seems very interested in you while on your date, but says they don’t know when (or if) they’ll be ready to commit, listen to them. If they’re meant to join your family, they’ll find their way back to you when they’re ready. This can be hard to do, but you can’t force something to work that’s just not meant to be. Any time spent trying to do so is just time taken away from finding the right poly partner. 


They Make You Part of Their Life

Someone who is serious about you shows this by introducing you to their lives. They’ll want to take you to their favorite places and to meet their favorite people. It’s important to ask about your partner’s friends and family toward the beginning of your courtship. If they say they aren’t ready to talk about it, that’s totally fine. Not everyone has a good relationship with their families and/or a steady group of friends. 


Maybe they have children from a previous relationship. Maybe they just need a little more time before they feel certain enough about your relationship to meet your spouse(s) and/or other partner(s). Some things take time, which is totally understandable! The key thing to look for here is if they’re giving you insight into why and expressing intent to making this a goal to meet together. For example, “I would love for my kids to meet you, but it’s important to me to be super cautious when it comes to who is in their lives. Let me think about a timeline for you to meet them that I’d be comfortable with.”


However, at a certain point in your relationship, your partner should begin to grow more and more comfortable telling you things about themselves. It’s always important to respect people’s boundaries, but someone who isn’t ready to be open with you may not be ready for the kind of commitment a polygamist marriage takes. The point is, in a serious relationship, you have to show you’re ready to work toward merging your lives together. 


They Talk About Your Future 

Think about going on a first date. How do you know if it went well? If you make plans to see each other again. Keyword: Plans. The more serious you get about one another, the further out your plans for the future should go. These don’t have to be huge, life-changing plans. Just things that move your relationship forward. 


They’ll want to know what your plans are, too. They show this by asking questions about your long-term goals like: Are you planning to have any (more) children? Do you see yourself living in this area for a long time? These are questions that most people would feel comfortable asking in the first few conversations with you if they’re looking for someone to settle down with.


Someone who is ready to commit to a long-term poly relationship or marriage with you will show this by taking the right steps forward. They might need guidance on what those steps should be, but they should show that they want to work on moving forward together. When each partner in the relationship is committed to it long-term and knows how to communicate, setting milestones should come naturally. If planning your future feels one-sided on your end, or finding out what they want from your relationship next feels like pulling teeth, then they probably are not ready to get serious.


They Move at a Healthy Pace

Every relationship timeline looks different, but a serious partner won’t drag out each phase. They also won’t rush into anything. If they aren’t sure about becoming poly, that is their decision to make. It’s definitely something that might require a bit of thought. It’s important that you know and express that to them. Otherwise, they may freeze and struggle to make a decision, or jump into something their heart isn’t really in.


A healthy pace includes lots and lots of communication for everyone involved. Eventually, your other partners will need to weigh in on what steps work for your family. Integrating a new partner into the mix can be both a loving and stressful time. Make sure you, your new partner, and current partner(s) are all on the same page!


When you sign up with a Sister Wives, you’ll find much more than a poly match: You join our community too! We offer our members access to several helpful resources as they embark on their dating journey including articles, community forums to ask for advice in, and individual blogs to read about other people’s journeys. 


Ready to meet your perfect match? They could be waiting for you here now, so sign up today!









Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


I’ve written my fair share of poly dating guides. I’ve expressed my thoughts on how to become a sister wife, how to bring up polyamory to your partner, and even how to navigate the sexual spectrum of poly relationships. Here, I’m focusing on how to find a second wife--or a third, and fourth without putting any pressure on your current relationship. Your first instinct might be to browse the usual poly dating apps--Feeld, OkCupid, Sister Wives, etc.--but there are other steps you can take beforehand.


1. Don’t force it

In a monogamous relationship, not every person you meet is a life partner candidate. Moreover, good relationships feel natural and effortless. Of course, all great relationships need effort, but the start of one blossoms without it being forced. If it doesn’t feel right, you probably shouldn’t pursue a relationship further than platonic friendship.


Granted, meeting people naturally on dating sites sounds like an oxymoron, but even these digital encounters should have a genuine, organic feel. When you’re on dating sites long enough, you start to be able to filter out who wants a real connection and who’s up for a short-term fling. There’s no problem with either, which brings us to our next step.


2. Set boundaries, but don’t limit yourself

When dating online or preparing yourself for the dating world in general, don’t be so consumed by a “Dream Wife'' checklist that you’re rejecting people left and right. You might (or probably already have) discuss what type of person you want your second wife to be with your current spouse. You might even discuss personality, life goals, sexual orientation, poly attitudes, etc. While it’s great to have a general sense of what type of people you want to surround yourself with, a strict list of requirements might set you back.


You miss out on great people who might not fit your description of an ideal second wife on paper. After all, the attributes on a dating site profile or app can only tell you so much about a person. The only way to know for sure if they’re the right fit is to give them a chance. You might be surprised at how much your ideal second, third, or fourth wife might actually be a completely different person than what you imagined.


3. Let your heart lead, but be realistic

New relationship energy (NRE) is a thing. You might even feel it strongly in the early dating stage. In fact, another word for it is the honeymoon phase where the people in the newfound connection feel giddy (euphoric, really) to the point where everything feels right and magical. At its worst, new relationship energy can lead you (the man) to always be seeking out new potential partners and getting lost in the dating stages, leaving your first wife on the back burner as you expend all your energy in searching out and wooing new potential wives.


So my humble piece of advice would be to check yourself whenever you find that the NRE is turning into an urge and not necessarily a genuine romantic feeling. While you may be a sociable person who just tends to hit it off with many people, be wary of how much energy you expend in your dating ventures.


4. Be safe, and trust your gut

Let’s talk safety. Safe sex is a common topic in poly circles, and rightly so. Depending on you and your polycule’s sexual orientations, safe sex and open communication about it helps build trust between everyone. It also ensures everyone’s personal health and safety, no matter how many people are involved in the relationship.


Another part of safety is safety in meeting people offline. In your search for finding a second wife, you might be eager to meet quickly and without thought. The sad truth is, there will always be people who don’t care about others’ safety and actively want to harm others. A safe practice is meeting in public for the first time, providing you with a harmless exit strategy should you want to leave the rendezvous. 


In more extenuating circumstances like, say, a global pandemic, meeting responsibly is also a matter of public duty. When in doubt, video calls are always a great way to break the ice before meeting in person. This way, you can gauge a person’s intentions and personality without taking on too much risk.


5. Try different dating sites

You might be a staunch Sister Wives user or a diehard Feeld customer, but exploring different  platforms is worth it when trying to find a second wife. Similar to how you wouldn’t frequent the same bar every weekend in the hopes of meeting new people, you might dip your toes in other dating apps to broaden your horizons. If you feel frustrated or begin to feel like you’re forcing it (See Step 1), take a break from dating and return when you feel ready again. It isn’t fair to you or others when you’re dating with an affected mindset.


6. Let it happen naturally

This next suggestion is a slight reiteration of Step 1, but I feel the need to keep it as a separate step. Many poly relationships do start on dating sites like Sister Wives, but many others begin somewhere random. Maybe your coworker’s friend’s cousin just happened to attend a networking event and you were introduced by chance. Maybe you’ll take a different route home one day and decide to try a new restaurant where you’ll meet and find your future second wife. Yes, this sounds like a terrible cliché, but love really can be found in the most unexpected places. If you’ve got a particularly interesting meet cute with your wives or partners, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.








Published By: Christopher Alesich 

Matchmakers Inc: Sisterwives.com


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