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Polyamory is a philosophy – there is much more to it than just engaging with multiple romantic partners, as many people imagine it. It can take various forms; all people involved know about the others; it’s all about compersion – managing jealousy through feeling joy out of your partners’ happiness. In this article, we shall look at it in more detail, so read on if you want to find out more.

Polyamory Philosphy and Compersion

The first and one of the most important elements of this philosophy is compersion in poly relationships. In simple words, this is an approach where you feel joy whenever one of your partners is happy.

Compersion helps deal with jealousy in poly relationships, so it is of the utmost importance in the polyamory philosophy. However, we need to mention that it can be applied to more than your love life. Even in everyday situations, compersion helps you build healthier relationships with your friends and colleagues.

The Philosophy of Polyamory Regarding Relationships

Being poly means that one… engages with multiple romantic partners, and that is just it. There are no strict boundaries regarding what a poly network should look like – poly people embrace what works best for them.

Naturally, there are certain, more common types of polyamorous relationships. But in practice, you can find anything from a triad or a quad to a kitchen-table polyamory (centered around the family) to even mono-poly relationships where only one person is poly.

Being Open: The Cornerstone of Polyamory Philosophy

Polyamory is more than sexual relationships, and being open and true to yourself is one of the principles of its philosophy. This is why, in many cases, larger poly relationship networks form families, giving children more love and care. But let’s first delve into the basic principle here.

What distinguishes polyamory from cheating is that all the parties involved know what about the others. Being poly means being honest about your feelings and being ethical – unlike what many pop culture works try to present. The whole philosophy revolves around consent – all the parties agree to this kind (and its particular type) of relationship.

The Role of Poly Community in Its Philosophy

No matter what you do in your life, you can find a community of like-minded people. These are often a nice addition, people to whom you can express your thoughts and with whom you can make new friendships, but they are not an integral part of what you do. This is different in polyamory philosophy.

Community is vital for polyamorous people, as it provides them with support throughout the unique challenges of poly relationships. It’s a way to meet new potential partners, broaden one’s mind, and even learn more about the principles and history of polyamory. Thus, being in the community and embracing your presence is one of the key elements of poly philosophy.

This is also why we encourage you to meet other like-minded poly people here, on Sisterwives. Our poly dating app lets you find romantic partners, while our “blogs” section gives you the opportunity to chat about your own poly experiences. Being poly means building your own poly network, grooming your inner growth, and intermingling with other people who follow the poly philosophy, and you can do all of this here.

The Takeaway

Polyamory philosophy isn’t focused purely on the relationships. It tackles jealousy, being open, and being a part of the community. Many of its principles should be applied by other people as well since following them makes our lives better, more fulfilling, and often easier.

You might also read: Polyamory Families: Definition, Dynamics and Challenges

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

What are the best podcasts about polygamy? In our opinion: National Polygamy Advocate, Polygamy: What Love Is This and Year of Polygamy. Why did we choose these three? Read on to find it out!

The Three Best Polygamy Podcasts

Like in the case of polyamory podcasts, some podcasts about polygamy tackle everyday poly life, others discuss its history, and some even adopt multiple points of view. The ones below are what we believe to be the best, most interesting podcasts that you can find on the topic of polygamy. Let’s briefly introduce each one of them.

National Polygamy Advocate

National Polygamy Advocate is a weekly podcast hosted by Mark Henkel. It has been running for seven years, making it a valuable source of information regarding polygamy.

As the name suggests, the National Polygamy Advocate focuses mostly on the legal aspects of polygamy, for instance, by discussing different court rulings. However, it’s not limited purely to that. Mark Henkel often tackles more down-to-earth topics and discusses terms related to polygamy and polyamory, which makes it great for anyone.

The only downside of this podcast is that…you’ll need to spend days listening through the old episodes to catch up with everything. But, if you have the time or simply want to skip to the current episodes, we highly recommend it.

Polygamy: What Love Is This

Hosted by Doris Hanson, who herself was brought up in a polygamy clan, this podcast tackles the more spiritual side of polygamy from the biblical point of view. In the episodes, you will learn about the history of polygamy, but also the current events and find many captivating interviews.

What this podcast deserves praise for is that it shows both the light and the dark side of polygamy. It actively tackles the issues of abuse in fundamentalist polygamy while also addressing the image of polygamy in books, TV series, and other pop culture materials.

This might not be the perfect source of knowledge if you want to learn about polygamy in and out, but it gives you the perspective of those who lived in abusive polygamy, letting you understand them better and comprehend their reasons for being against this way of life.

Year of Polygamy

If you really want to come out as a polygamist to your friends and you really want to understand their perspective, or you simply want to compare your and non-poly people’s points of view, this is a podcast for you.

Here, you will see the perspective of three different personas: a practicing polygamist, an ex-polygamist, and an anti-polygamist. It’s a true journey of discovery that lets you build empathy and truly understand the people you love and their perspective when you tell them that you’re poly. It’s also eye-opening in general.

Apart from this three-dimensional POV, this podcast still offers a lot of information on the history and spirituality of traditional polygamy. Thus, we believe that you should explore it as did we.

Meet Other Poly People and Exchange Stories

While polygamy podcasts are undoubtedly great sources of information, the best ones are other people. This is why we encourage you to reach out and build your local poly community. You can do that with our poly dating app, where you will find thousands of people who understand you, each with their own unique story.

The Takeaway

These are the three best podcasts about polygamy – in our opinion. If you don’t agree or have other great podcasts to recommend, don’t be afraid to leave a comment – other members of the poly community will surely appreciate your effort!

You might also read: How to Deal with Jealousy in Polygamy?

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

What is compersion in a poly relationship? This term refers to the feeling of joy when your partner has a good time with another person. It is the opposite of jealousy, which is important in relationships where both sides have multiple partners. In this article, we look at comparison in a bit more detail. We invite you to read on.

What Is Compersion in a Poly Relationship?

In basic terms, compersion in polyamory could be described as the opposite of jealousy, though it is not a 1:1 antonym. This is the feeling of happiness for your partner when they engage in romantic or sexual interactions with another person.

Why is compersion important in a poly relationship, whether it is polyamory or polygamy? Feeling jealous is natural in many situations in our lives, including romantic life. But, considering what polyamory is, it would be extremely difficult to cope with envy in such relationships. Compersion is what helps polyamorous people replace jealousy, making them more joyful about their partner’s lives and, hence, more satisfied with their own. Simply said, it’s a joy that is unrelated to your own joy.

How to Practice Compersion in a Polyamorous Relationship?

Practicing compersion helps become happier in different types of polyamorous relationships. Thus, it’s good to practice it and learn to enjoy your partner(s)’s romantic adventures. But how to do it? We’ve got a few tips for you!

• Understand your emotions – You need to know what you feel when your partner engages with other people. Realizing your feelings and their causes will help you become more compassionate.

• Work on your empathy – Some people are more empathetic than others, and that’s natural. But it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to develop this skill. If you really want to embrace compersion in your polyamorous relationship, you have to try to understand what your partner feels and resonate with their emotions.

• Reason through the emotions – Knowing how you feel and what emotions accompany your partner, you can apply logic to explain why you should be happy about your partner’s joy rather than experiencing jealousy.

• Support each other – As we mentioned before, jealousy is natural, and you won’t avoid feeling it. To embrace compersion in a polyamory, you and your partner(s) need to support and help each other go through jealousy together.

Compersion Is for More Than Just Poly Relationships

While we discuss compersion in polyamorous relationships, you can embrace it in any other aspect of your life. Did your friend just get a promotion? Do you feel happy about it? If yes, this is a perfect example of compersion in non-romantic situations. Therefore, it’s good to practice it even outside of your poly network.

Does Compersion Mean That I Won’t Feel Jealous?

No. While compersion lets you live a happier life, enjoying the successes and adventures of your partners and friends, it won’t help you avoid jealousy or envy. Why? Because they are natural feelings!

However, you can embrace compersion to deal with jealousy in polyamorous relationships. So, while it won’t make you avoid the unpleasant feelings, it will help you cope with them more quickly and effectively.

The Takeaway

Knowing what compersion is in a polyamorous relationship, you’re ready to start practicing it. This way, you’ll make your romantic life much more delightful and get rid of the negative impact of jealousy in your life. “Don’t be defeated by evil, but defeat evil with good.” – Romans 12:21.

Be sure to check out our poly dating site and join in the polyamorous community!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

How to come out as polyamorous to your parents and partner? You should start by selecting a cozy place and the right time for it. When you finally meet, begin by explaining what polyamory means to you. Listen to what others have to say, but remember – you should feel comfortable with your feelings, and your closest ones should at least try to show you understanding. Do you want to learn more? Then read on!

How to Come Out as Polyamorous to Your Parents?

Let’s start by discussing how to come out as polyamorous to your family. How should you approach this conversation?

• Choose a proper time and place – You need to feel comfortable and private to have this conversation. Our idea here is to invite your parents for a cozy dinner at your house.

• Start with explaining polyamory – Tell your parents what polyamory is in general, and explain how you perceive it. Our tip here: prepare some sources to quote.

• Address the misconceptions – Probably, your parents have a completely distorted image of polyamory, so encourage them to ask questions and dispel the myths.

• Respect their feelings, but stay true to yours – You need to realize that this might be a shock to your parents and have empathy towards them. At the same time, remember that your feelings matter and shouldn’t get hurt during the conversation. Remember – some questions might seem offensive or ignorant to you, but it doesn’t mean that your parents mean to hurt you.

• Give your parents time – They will need to process your coming-out, so give them the time they need. At the same time, tell them that this isn’t just one conversation – it’s a constant dialogue, as you won’t become monogamous overnight.

How to Come Out as Polyamorous to Your Partner?

While with parents, it’s easier (not to say easy – it’s still often emotionally exhausting), this gets more tricky when it comes to your girlfriend or boyfriend. After all, they might feel much more hurt. So, how to come out as polyamorous to your partner?

• Get the timing right – Like with parents, you need to pick a comfy time and place.

• Explain how you value your partner – Initially, your partner might believe that you want to become polyamorous because they are not enough, so make sure to show them how you value them and that they are an important part of your life.

• Tell your partner why you are polyamorous – This way, you can explain your feelings and show what polyamory means to you, addressing misconceptions but also proving the importance of your partner.

• Say how you imagine a polyamorous relationship with your partner – Be honest and tell them what you would like your relationship to look like in the future.

You can get more tips in our article on how to talk to your partner about polyamory.

Our Extra Tips for Your Poly Coming Out

You know how to come out as polyamorous, but we still have a few tips that might help you with this.

• You don’t have to come up if you don’t want to – don’t feel obligated to do it if you feel uncomfortable.

• Start with your closest ones – Begin by telling your family (and partner), then the closest friends. Only later should you come out to your distant relatives or friends, and only if you feel comfortable with it.

• Prepare resources to quote and use – This will help you answer questions and justify your answers.

The Takeaway

Telling your family and partner that you are poly might be stressful. But, now you know how to come out as polyamorous in a diplomatic way, so you don’t have to worry so much. Follow our tips and check out our “Blogs” section – you might find there coming out stories from other poly people in our community!

And if you’re looking for an opportunity to meet romantic partners or meet other people in the community, check out our poly dating app.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Published By: Sister Wives 
Matchmakers Inc

How to Navigate Polyamorous Parenting: Challenges and Rewards in a Multi-Partner Family

Polyamorous parenting is often challenging, mostly due to the legal restrictions and social stigma still present in many countries. Yet, it is also quite rewarding, especially to the children, to receive more affection, support and build meaningful relationships with adults they are not biologically related to. Let’s take a look at it in more detail, shall we?

The Challenges of Polyamory and Parenting

Polygamous families and polyamorous ones face several challenges when raising children. The main ones include:

Legal Restrictions

While it is not illegal in most countries, polyamory and parenting are often unregulated by law, meaning that the legal code is adjusted only to monogamous relationships. As a result, parents and their partners need to overcome numerous obstacles on a daily basis – for instance, picking up their child from the nursery or school might even require a power of attorney.

Social stigma

Although society is becoming increasingly accepting of polyamorous relationships, the stigma still exists, especially among the older generations. This makes it exceptionally difficult for polyamorous parents to come out to their children’s grandparents and might even impact the bonds between them.

The same goes, unfortunately, for other people they meet on their way. School workers or other parents might be prejudiced against polyamorous families. In the worst cases, they might try to prevent their kid from befriending your child – a toxic yet probable approach that you might struggle with.

Communication

What should be mentioned in any guide for polyamorous parents is communication, which can become both a challenge and a benefit in such relationships. Both the children and all the parents need to be open to building true bonds, setting the right boundaries, and negotiating agreements.

The more parents actively participate in a child’s upbringing, the more opinions on what it should look like. Thus, it is crucial to agree on the main principles and be able to resolve any disagreements.

The Rewards of Polyamorous Parenting

Such challenges do come with valuable rewards – polyamorous parenting, when done right, can be exceptionally beneficial for your children. So, what are the benefits?

More Attention and Care

The more the merrier! With several parents, your children will get more attention, affection, and support, which they so need to grow up into responsible adults. Your kids’ emotional needs will always be catered for.

Financial Stability

Bringing up a child might be expensive, but you often need money to provide them with the finest education and the best conditions to study, develop, and follow their passions. One of the main benefits of polygamy, in this case, is that you can share the costs with your other partners, providing your child with a stable environment in which they can pursue their passions and grow freely.

Building Meaningful Relationships with Adults

Children usually don’t build strong bonds with adults other than their biological parents. Polyamorous parenting is a way to change that – your kids can engage in relationships with your other partners and learn how to navigate the adult world. This affects their emotional development and maturity, preparing them better for entry into adulthood.

However, you must remember not to overdo this. Relationships with polyamorous parents are important, but they are still within a family, so it’s good to leave your children some space to build bonds with whoever they like – perhaps a distant aunt, a neighbor, or their partners (if they are teenagers) parents?

Polyamorous Parenting – A Challenging, Yet Rewarding Way to Raise Your Children

As you can see, there will always be challenges that you will have to face as polyamorous parents. Yet, by overcoming them, you can create a loving and stable environment in which your children will fully thrive. Thus, don’t perceive polyamorous parenting as a hardship but rather as an opportunity for your kids that other children might not have!

You may also read: Polyamory Families: Definition, Dynamics, and Challenges

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

How to Manage Finances in Polyamorous Relationships?

Managing finances in polyamorous relationships requires you to talk about it first. You have to come up with a plan for how to transfer your wealth to your children, consider whether you want to keep your finances joined, separated, or somewhere in between, and frequently discuss your budget and the model you opt for. This might get more complicated depending on whether you are a solo poly, a part of a thruple, quad, or a large polycule. Let’s discuss it in more detail.

Polygamy and Finances – How to Approach It?

First of all, do not make finances a taboo in your polyamorous relationship. You need to be open and discuss money often to come up with a plan that will work for everyone, including your offspring.

Secondly, you need to start small. When embracing polyamory, managing your finances might be difficult and complex, so you should not try to come up with everything right away. Instead, make small steps. For example, set up a joint bank account for your primary spendings first, after some time, consider your “fun” budget as well, and then proceed with discussing real estate, investments, and inheritance.

Finally, you have to come up with compromises and think about the other parties. This is especially important in relationships with an uneven number of people, where someone might feel forced or pressured to follow the ideas of others. This is not only unhealthy for your finances, but for the relationship as a whole, so remember to consider what every partner has to say.

Our Tips for Polyamory Finances

So, with that short introduction behind us, we may get to the key points of this article – our tips for managing your finances in a polyamorous relationship. If you are official, check out our tips for finances in a polygamous marriage, too.

Consider Your Relationship First

What type of polyamorous relationship are you in? If you are the primary partner of two wives, your finances will look different than if you are an equal element of a throuple. Therefore, you should consider the dynamics of your relationship and build your financial model based on them.

Discuss Whether You Want to Share or Separate Your Finances

Right at the beginning of your polyamorous relationship, you should consider whether you want to join your finances or keep them separated. This might often be the bone of contention between you and your partners, so it is crucial that you discuss this early on.

You can opt for a completely shared model, a fully separated one, or something in between, where you, for instance, make a joint account for basic living expenses but pay separately for everything else. It is also critical that you think about your children at this point – who is going to pay for their education, basic needs, school trips, etc.? This might be a difficult question to answer if you want to keep your finances separate, but you have to agree on it if you want to be successful in your polyamorous parenting.

Plan Your Retirement and Inheritance

Do not only focus on the here and now, think about the future. Polygamy and finances might be especially difficult to plan when inheritance is involved, as it might be difficult to leave one or two houses for several children and partners, but you need to tackle this challenge.

The same case occurs with insurance, though it is slightly easier here. Many insurance providers offer you an option to select several beneficiaries, so it is wise to choose one of them and keep the list up to date.

Plan Your Finances in a Polygamous Relationship Early On to Be Secure and Avoid Conflicts

Remember that polyamory finances are not easy, but it is a topic that you cannot avoid. Therefore, start planning as soon as possible, perhaps starting with financial etiquette in polyamorous dating. This way, you will be sure that you and all your partners are on the same page.

You may also read: Poly Love and Money

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Dating Age Gaps in Polyamory and Age Dynamics

Dating age gaps might be a true problem in polyamory, especially for those in their 40s and 50s. While according to Dr Marie Thouine, there are no significant statistical differences in the numbers of younger and older polyamory people, this often does not feel so. Thus, the latter try to find younger partners, which causes problems, such as differences in value systems, perspectives, or even goals and priorities. But what about younger people who wish to date older partners? This might also be problematic.

Polyamory Age Gaps – Are They Really Problematic?

Age gaps in polyamory dating are not as big of a problem as for monogamous relationships, yet it does not mean that they do not cause certain issues. However, polyamory is all about connecting on the emotional level, so you should not feel discouraged to start seeing someone who is much younger/older than you.

If you decide to do so, you will still need to overcome some challanges – let’s take a look at them now.

● Perspective on polyamory – Firstly, younger generations are much more open to polyamory than the members of the older ones. In terms of an age gap, it means that the former will feel much more natural at the beginning, while the latter will be hesitant. Additionally, it also comes down to being open when telling your friends and family about your polyamorous lifestyle – it will not be a problem for Gen Z or millennials, but it might be for baby boomers or Gen X.

● Goals – Another issue with the age gap in a polyamorous relationship is that you and your partner might have different goals – both in terms of what you want to create together and in your life.

● Tastes and interests – Different music, hobbies, or even daily routines – these usually occur when there is a major age gap, no matter whether we talk polyamory or not, so you have to take them into consideration.

Age Dynamics and the Benefits of Dating Age Gaps in Polyamory

Polyamory and an age gap might cause some issues, but it does not mean it is bad – quite the opposite. There are many advantages to engaging in such relationships, thus you should definitely consider it. What are the benefits?

● Different perspectives – An age gap means that you and your partner(s) have different perspectives. This helps you solve problems or even be more open to each other and build a much stronger, more meaningful bond.

● True emotional connection – Forgetting about the stereotypes and the age gap will help you find someone with whom you fully connect, a person or people with whom you are compatible while searching only among peers might limit your choices.

How to Approach an Age Gap in Your Polyamorous Relationship?

Do you wish to give partners much older or younger than you a try? Then you have to know how to approach an age gap in polyamory – here are our tips.

● Proceed with your partner’s pace – While you might be itching to move faster with your relationship, give your partner the time they need – remember that they might have a completely different perspective.

● Try to understand your partner’s point of view – If both of you are the only people with such an age gap in your polyamory network, you need to put a lot of effort into understanding each other. You might perceive the same gestures and things completely differently, and you have to take this into account if you want to feel comfortable together.

● Communicate – With so many differences, communication becomes crucial – state how you feel, what you like and do not like, and be ready to make a compromise.

● Stop it if you feel uncomfortable – Did one of your partners introduce you to someone much older, but then other people perceived them as your parent? Or maybe you simply feel uncomfortable in a poly relationship with a large age gap? Do not be afraid to stop in such cases. After all, relationships are about your happiness.

Age Gap and Polyamory – Where to Find Partners?

If you want to find partners who are much younger or older than you, try using different channels. Utilize polygamy dating websites, ask your other partners if they know someone in their network, and engage in the local poly community – you will find someone in no time.

Polyamory and Dating a Partner with a Large Age Gap – Not as Scary as It Seems

To conclude this article, let us underline one thing – an age gap in polyamory might sometimes feel as a disadvantage, but it is also the door to new experiences, sensations and a wider choice of partners. Thus, we encourage you to at least give it a try – perhaps you will be surprised and love it!

You may also read: The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Your Perfect Poly Partners

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

How to Deal with Jealousy in Polygamy?

Jealousy can be a serious problem in polygamy, so how to handle it? You and your partner need to be sensitive, understand what triggers those feelings, battle your insecurities, or simply find something else to do when your partner is busy with the other person. Do you want to learn more about all these methods? Then we invite you to read on!

Polygamy and Jealousy – The Reasons

The first step in dealing with jealousy in polygamy is to understand why you feel such emotions. You need to embark on a journey within yourself and find out not only what makes you jealous but also why it makes you feel that way.

While there are many intense feelings in polyamory and polygamy, jealousy is not simply caused by the nature of your relationship or even by your partner’s behavior – it might have its roots within you. Insecurities or low self-esteem might lead you to envy the other people in your relationship and feel that your partner(s) don’t pay you enough attention, even if it is not true. Therefore, you need to try to reason with your emotions and adopt a rational approach.

Firstly, you should consider your past traumas, maybe even visit a therapist, and find out if your past experiences affect your current feelings.

Secondly, you should try to rationalize your emotions. You can, for instance, count up the time that your partner spends with you and with other wives – this will help you find out whether the jealousy in your polygamous relationship is indeed justified and will calm you down if it is not.

How to Deal with Jealousy in Polygamy on Your Own?

If you already understand what triggers your jealousy, you may try to prevent it from making you feel bad. How to deal with jealousy in polygamy on your own? Here are our tips:

• Find something else to do – If your jealousy is caused by your partner spending more time with someone else…just find something to take your mind off the situation. It might be a new hobby that you’ll fully immerse yourself in or even do everyday house chores.

• Give yourself (and your partner) time – Sometimes, the feeling of jealousy might be brief, and it will go away after a few days. So, do not do something radical right away – instead, give yourself some time to process your emotions, understand them, and see whether they will stay with you for longer or not.

Take a look at our polygamy dating site and connect with other like-minded people who want to build a lasting, meaningful polygamous relationship!

How to Handle Jealousy in Polygamy with Your Partner?

A relationship is a partnership, so it is also important that you talk about your feelings with your partner(s). How to handle jealousy in polygamy together with your partner? We recommend that you:

• Explain what causes jealousy – State that you feel jealous and explain why. Do not try to be accusing – your partner does not want to harm you and is not evoking these emotions on purpose. Instead, try to come up with solutions together.

• Take ownership of your emotions – You are jealous, not your partner. Often, they might not be responsible for the feelings anyway since your past traumas might cause the triggers. Therefore, you need to take ownership of your feelings but also underline how important it is for you to stop having them.

• Find ways to limit triggers – Some triggers may be difficult to avoid, but in many cases, with little steps, you can eliminate at least some of them. This way, you will not feel jealous without impacting the whole dynamics of your relationship.

Jealousy in Polygamy Is Natural – Just Learn How to Handle It

In conclusion, let us tell you that you have the right to feel jealous in your polygamous relationship – it is natural. Thus, how to deal with it is crucial, as otherwise, you might have problems with building a happy, thriving relationship.

You may also read: Dealing with Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc