Chris's article

Introduction

When TLC premiered Seeking Sister Wife in January 2018, viewers were introduced to plural families searching for or welcoming a new wife into their homes. The show immediately sparked interest, conversation, and curiosity about polygamous lifestyles. What most people do not know is that Sister Wives (SisterWives.com), the leading dating and matchmaking platform for polygamous and polyamorous relationships, played a central role in how the first season came together.

TLC’s casting team collaborated directly with Christopher Alesich, CEO of Matchmakers Inc., and Robyn Alesich, COO, who together own Sister Wives (SisterWives.com). Through this partnership, the network gained access to the platform’s community of real families and individuals interested in plural marriage. Nearly the entire Season 1 cast, including the Alldredge family, was discovered with the help of this collaboration. TLC valued the partnership enough to fly Christopher and Robyn to Hollywood as casting wrapped up. Although Sister Wives did not receive a formal casting credit, both Christopher and Robyn were recognized with a “Special Thanks” in the show’s credits.

This article explores how Sister Wives became the dating site that helped create TLC’s Seeking Sister Wife.

The Vision Behind Seeking Sister Wife

Building on the success of TLC’s Sister Wives, which followed one family already established in plural marriage, Seeking Sister Wife focused on families in transition. Season 1 highlighted three very different families:

• The Briney Family: A fundamentalist Mormon family with three wives living together under one roof for the first time. Their story centered on the difficulties of blending households, managing 15 children, and protecting their lifestyle from legal or community scrutiny.

• The Snowden Family: A young couple, Dimitri and Ashley, who were not religious but were beginning their journey into plural marriage. Their story showed what it looks like to start from scratch in seeking a sister wife.

• The Alldredge Family: A more established plural family already living polygamy who were actively looking for a third wife, Melina. Their courtship storyline captured exactly what the show’s premise was built around.

The variety of these families gave viewers a look at different paths into polygamy, from seasoned fundamentalist households to modern, nonreligious couples just starting. Casting such a diverse group of participants was no small task, and that is where Sister Wives stepped in.

Sister Wives: A Platform for Plural Marriage

Founded in 2008, Sister Wives quickly grew to become the world’s largest online dating platform for polygamy and plural relationships. Built by Christopher and Robyn Alesich, the site created a safe, judgment-free space where couples and singles could explore polygamy, polyamory, and non-monogamous relationships.

Unlike general dating platforms, Sister Wives was built specifically for people who wanted a community where plural marriage was normalized. Over the years, the platform has attracted thousands of members worldwide. Its motto has always been that love is love, whether it exists between two people or within a larger family.

Because of its prominence, Sister Wives has frequently been approached by journalists, documentary filmmakers, and television networks curious about plural marriage. The platform has been featured in major media outlets and consulted by networks such as CNN. When TLC began developing Seeking Sister Wife, Sister Wives was the natural partner to help the network connect with authentic families.

Collaborating with TLC’s Casting Team

When TLC decided to move forward with Seeking Sister Wife Season 1, it needed families who were both genuine in their practice of polygamy and willing to share their story publicly. Sister Wives provided the casting team with direct access to its community, and Christopher and Robyn took an active role in the process.

Together, they reached out to more than 1,000 people within the Sister Wives network, conducting initial interviews and gathering information from families and individuals who expressed interest. These conversations helped determine which participants were serious about sharing their stories and comfortable with the visibility of national television. Once this groundwork was complete, qualified candidates were passed along to TLC’s casting directors for final review and selection.

This collaboration bridged a critical gap between producers and the polygamous community. Christopher and Robyn offered cultural insight, reassured hesitant families, and ensured that candidates came from authentic backgrounds rather than outside casting calls.

It is important to note that neither Christopher, Robyn, nor Sister Wives engaged in matchmaking for the show’s cast. The role of Sister Wives was outreach, community engagement, and pre-screening interviews. TLC’s casting team made the ultimate casting decisions and handled the production process.

This effort proved decisive. Families like the Alldredges were already using Sister Wives to seek another wife, making their participation in Season 1 a natural extension of their real-life journey. Even the Snowdens, approaching polygamy from a modern and nonreligious perspective, reflected the diversity of the Sister Wives community.

As casting wrapped up, TLC invited Christopher and Robyn to Hollywood to meet with producers face-to-face. The invitation underscored how essential Sister Wives had been in shaping the show’s first season.

Recognition and Missed Credit

In television, it is common for casting producers or consultants to receive formal credit for their contributions. Despite essentially facilitating the casting of nearly the entire first season, Sister Wives did not receive a casting credit. Instead, both Christopher and Robyn were acknowledged in the “Special Thanks” section of the credits.

While it was disappointing not to receive formal recognition, the acknowledgment still signaled TLC’s awareness of how critical Sister Wives had been to the process. Without the platform and its community, Seeking Sister Wife would have struggled to find such a well-rounded and authentic cast for its premiere season.

Impact on Sister Wives and Plural Marriage Awareness

The collaboration with TLC had a lasting impact on Sister Wives. The visibility from the show led to an increase in sign-ups and drew new attention to the lifestyle. For many viewers, Seeking Sister Wife was their first introduction to the idea that families could willingly and happily live in polygamous structures.

By showing plural families in the dating and courting stages, the show also mirrored the exact purpose of Sister Wives. Families seeking to expand and singles curious about joining them were able to see that there was a community and even a dedicated platform for those interests.

Of course, the show also came with challenges. The Briney family’s turmoil and the Alldredges’ unsuccessful courtship demonstrated that plural marriage, like any relationship, can be difficult and sometimes painful. While some worried this might reinforce stereotypes, the reality is that every relationship, monogamous or plural, comes with struggles. Sister Wives has always embraced authenticity, and Season 1 of Seeking Sister Wife reflected that reality.

Conclusion

The debut season of Seeking Sister Wife would not have been possible without the collaboration between TLC and Sister Wives. By giving producers access to a thriving community of real families, Sister Wives made it possible to cast authentic participants who were truly living the lifestyle.

Although Christopher and Robyn Alesich did not receive a formal casting credit, their contributions were recognized with a “Special Thanks.” More importantly, the partnership cemented Sister Wives’ place in the cultural conversation about plural marriage. The platform helped bring stories of love, family, and complexity to national television, and in doing so, it played a historic role in shaping how plural marriage is portrayed in mainstream media.

Sister Wives was, without question, the dating site that helped create TLC’s Seeking Sister Wife.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc 

Being a Secondary Partner in Polyamory

Being a secondary partner in polyamory might seem challenging, but it should not be so. After all, with time, you might become a primary partner, and you still have rights as a secondary! At the same time, it is natural that your partner won’t pay you as much attention as their primary, and you need to find ways to cope with that. In this article, we look at it more closely. We invite you to read on.

How to Navigate Polyamory as a Non-Primary Partner?

Let’s start with you. What should you know about being a secondary partner and how to approach your relationships? Here are some of our tips.

1. Try Avoiding Having Expectations

As a secondary partner in polyamory, you might never become a primary, and that’s completely fine. The problem here is that as a relationship grows, expectations do, too… but there’s a limit to commitment when it comes to being a non-primary partner.

We don’t mean that you should have no expectations at all, but be realistic about them and don’t set them too high. Think about the attachment styles in poly relationships; consider which style you represent and how it matches yours as a secondary partner. Perhaps being non-primary is not at all for you, or you’ll have to adjust your expectations to be one.

2. Embrace Compersion

Compersion in polyamory refers to the feeling of happiness for your partner when they engage in other relationships. It is crucial when you are a secondary partner, as it is the opposite of jealousy, which could make your relationship unbearable.

That’s why you should try to understand your emotions, reason through them, and work on your empathy. This way, you will no longer feel jealous (which, by the way, is a natural emotion!) and instead feel happy for your partner.

3. Don’t Ignore Your Needs

The fact that you are a secondary partner in polyamory does not mean that you are a secondary human being in life. Your needs are also important; you should meet them in your relationship. Naturally, you won’t be as intimate with your partner as they are with their primary, but it does not mean that you (or them) should be ignorant of your feelings and desires.

Polyamory and Being a Secondary Partner: Beware of the Risks

There are some risks when it comes to being a secondary partner. Sometimes, nobody in the whole network is even aware of them. What should you watch out for?

For instance, you might be a secondary partner without even realizing it. In many poly relationships, people are simply unaware of different types of hierarchy, you feel like (and be) a secondary partner without the others realizing it; at such times, it is crucial to make others aware of the issue and work together on solving it: whether the solution is you being a secondary or leveling the playing field.

Another risk may be involved with the level of commitment and boundaries between your partner and their primary. For instance, your partner’s primary partner does not want other partners in their house (and this is a healthy polyamory boundary)... but they live together. This means that you will spend significantly less time with your partner. Don’t let it depress you, but also don’t let it make you fight for each minute with them. Instead, talk this through and try to find a solution.

Ready to Embrace Your Role?

We hope that we’ve explained to you the risks regarding polyamory and being a secondary partner and how to navigate such scenarios. You still have rights and perks if you are a non-primary partner, some people even look for such specific roles in a relationship. Thus, don’t let it discourage you if it happens to you; embrace all the opportunities instead!

And if you are looking for opportunities to meet like-minded people, check out our polyamory dating app!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Polyamorous Commitment Ceremony: a Guide

Unfortunately, most countries and regions in the world do not permit polyamorous weddings. Naturally, there are exceptions like Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, or South Africa; however, in most cases, these only legalize a man having multiple wives and not the other way around. This is why commitment ceremonies take place in polyamory. They are just like weddings, with one simple difference, they bear no legal validity. In this article, we look at such ceremonies and guide you through their ins and outs. We invite you to read on.

What Is a Commitment Ceremony in Polyamory?

If you ever tried to come out as polyamorous to your parents, you either experienced or at least read about others experiencing a sort of backlash. This is because most of society still does not accept polyamorous relationships. This is also one of the reasons why commitment ceremonies exist in polyamory. 

Polyamorous marriages are illegal in most countries around the world, including the US. Commitment ceremonies are, therefore, non-legally binding marriages, a sort of wedding that isn’t a wedding.

Polyamorous commitment ceremonies include vows and all the other elements known from regular marriages, though what they look like depends on those organizing them. They are organized mainly to symbolize “the next step” by two (or more) people in a poly relationship, increasing their commitment to each other.

Are Commitment Ceremonies Legal?

Commitment ceremonies are completely legal, they aren’t legally binding marriages; hence, you can participate in them in all 50 states.

What is really important here is that anyone can organize a commitment ceremony. Although they are primarily prepared for those living in poly relationships, such an event might also be held by, for instance, a gay couple if the state does not allow same-sex marriages.

Can Only Two People Vow in a Commitment Ceremony?

There are no rules or strict frameworks regarding commitment ceremonies—after all, they aren’t legally binding. Whether you want to participate with only one of your non-primary partners or… all your partners in a non-hierarchical relationship is entirely up to you.

Naturally, the number of people exchanging vows at a commitment ceremony will affect how you organize this event. For instance, as a throuple, you should arrange a ceremony where you all face your guests rather than each other. This will make it much easier for the photographer to take wonderful, memorable photos of your ceremony.

A Few Tips for Polyamorous Commitment Ceremonies

Are you keen on organizing your polyamorous commitment ceremony? Then, here are some helpful tips from our team to help you make it perfect!

Decide Who’s Vowing Commitment Early On

If you’re in a larger relationship or poly network, start planning your ceremony by deciding who will exchange vows and why. This will help you avoid misunderstandings later on.

Establish How Others Will Help

When you know who is going to exchange vows, you need to decide on the role of other partners in your poly commitment ceremony. Should they just be guests, or perhaps you want them to help with the preparations? Check whether you’re all on the same page and establish the roles early on.

It’s Good to Create a Ceremony Outline, So Do It

Another useful tip: create an outline of the ceremony. We don’t want to provide you with an example, as there are numerous ways to approach your commitment vows; nevertheless, you should decide what elements will make it to such an outline together with your partners. This way, you’ll plan the perfect ceremony.

Don’t Use Marriage-Related Words

Polygamous marriages are illegal in the US and penalized in most states. Thus, stick to naming your event a commitment ceremony and avoid using words like “marriage,” “wedding,” “spouse,” or “wife.” This way, you will avoid being accused of breaking the law.

Time to Celebrate Your Love!

Commitment ceremonies are a great way to strengthen your bond and show your love in a polyamorous relationship. While you might need to avoid calling them weddings, they represent the same level of intimacy and commitment; thus, if you feel like marrying someone in your poly relationship but cannot do that due to the legal state of poly marriages, don’t hesitate to organize such a ceremony!

And if you’re still looking for “the ones,” see our polyamorous dating app.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Sister Wives Family Tree: The Brown Family Tree Explained

The Brown family tree in Sister Wives can get quite confusing. After all, it’s quite large, so it’s not difficult to feel lost or forget who’s who. But do not worry. In this article, we offer you a comprehensive overview of the whole Sister Wives family tree. Do you want to learn more? Then keep reading!

The Brown Family Tree in Sister Wives

Knowing how many seasons of Sister Wives have aired already (spoiler alert: 18), it’s not surprising that the Brown Family Tree might get quite complicated. Nevertheless, we want to break it down for you. Below, you’ll find all the information and relationships between the family tree members; we’ve organized them by each of the wives to make the information easier to navigate.

Meri

Meri is Kody’s first wife. As such, they were legally married at the beginning of the show. However, they divorced in 2014 since Kody wanted to marry Robyn (and adopt her children) legally. They have officially ended their relationship at the beginning of 2023.

Meri and Kody have one child:

• Leon: you may also know them as Leo since Leon revealed that they are transgender only in 2020.

Janelle

While the Brown family tree on the side of Meri is pretty straightforward, things get quite complicated with Janelle. Although she isn’t Kody’s first wife, she’s the one with whom he has the eldest child…and six children in total! These children include:

• Logan: Kody Brown’s firstborn, currently childless and married to Michelle Petty.

• Madison (Maddie), fourth of the Brown children in terms of age, married to Caleb Brush. Currently, they have three children:

○ Axel,

○ Evangalynn,

○ Josephine.

• Hunter: The sixth child in the Brown family.

• Garrison: Born right after Hunter; died on March 5, 2024, at the age of 25 by committing suicide. The impact of his death is bound to affect what the next seasons of Sister Wives will be about.

• Gabriel (Gabe), born in 2001; he’s the 10th child in the Brown family.

• Savanah: one of the youngest children in the Brown family, though still much older than their younger siblings; Savanah is the 15th child by age.

Christine

Christine’s the third wife in the Sister Wives family tree, but she still managed to tie in with Janelle regarding the number of children:

• Aspyn: the oldest child of Christine and Kody and the 2nd oldest child in the whole Brown family tree. Aspyn was born on March 14, 1995, and currently remains married to Mitch Thompson.

• Mykelti: born on June 9, 1996, the fifth child in the Brown family. Married to Antonio Padron (their wedding was documented on the show!). Currently, they have three kids:

○ Avalon: daughter.

○ Archer: son, Ace’s twin brother.

○ Ace: son, Archer’s twin brother.

• Paedon: born on August 7, 1998, he’s the 8th oldest child in the Brown family.

• Gwendlyn (Gwen): Born on October 15, 2001, she’s the 11th oldest child in the family; married to Beatriz Queiroz.

• Ysabel: born on June 13, 2003, thirteenth oldest child.

• Truely: born on April 13, 2010, she’s one of the youngest children in the Brown family only Solomon and Ariella are younger, making her the child no. 16.

Robyn

Finally, there is Robyn, the only wife who brought her children from the previous relationship to the Brown family tree. More importantly, Kody decided to adopt them; this is why he legally divorced Meri (although he remained with her) and married Robyn.

The three children Robyn had with David Jessop are:

• David (Dayton): the 9th oldest child in the Brown family; adopted by Kody in 2015.

• Aurora: the 12th oldest child in the Brown family; adopted by Kody in 2015.

• Breanna: the 14th oldest child in the Brown family; adopted by Kody in 2015.

Moreover, they have two children on their own, who are also the youngest offspring in the whole Sister Wives family tree:

• Solomon: the youngest son and second youngest child, born on October 27, 2011.

• Ariella: the youngest child in the Brown family, born on January 10, 2016.

Time for a Family Reunion!

We hope that we’ve explained the intricacies of the Brown family tree from Sister Wives. It might sound complicated, but as you watch the show and have our cheat sheet open, you shouldn’t quickly learn all about family relations in the program.

And if you want to become like Sister Wives heroes, check out our polygamy dating app and find other like-minded people

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Be clear about what you want, use protection, remember about your partner’s consent and boundaries, and communicate your issues and expectations clearly, does it feel like a list of “to-do’s?” It should, as these are some of the most important polygamy relationship rules. In this article, we look at them (and several others) in more detail. We invite you to read on.

The ABC Rules of Polygamy: 5 Principles You Should Follow in a Poly Relationship

Whether you regularly use a poly dating app or are in a committed poly relationship and don’t look for other partners, there are some ground polygamy rules that you need to follow, for everyone’s sake. What are they? We’ve gathered the most important ones here, take a look at them below.

1. Consent and Boundaries Are Key

The first rule is simple and will help you manage your expectations and fulfill all your poly relationship goals: be mindful of your partners. They have their own boundaries and might not always be up for the same things as you are.

For starters, if your partner does not agree to polygamy or polyamory, don’t ignore it. They won’t feel comfortable in such a setup, so you need to make a hard decision, either to leave them and go poly or to stay monogamous. The same goes for partners who agree to a polygamous relationship but with certain limitations, don’t do more than you’ve agreed to.

Secondly, each partner will have their own boundaries, so not all relationships will be equal, and that’s completely fine. You should remember that and treat your partners’ boundaries properly. 

For instance, one partner might want you to meet their family, while the other doesn’t.In such cases, you shouldn’t remind the latter about that and hold a grudge against them; it’s their right to set such a boundary.

2. Communicate Your Issues and Expectations Clearly

The second crucial polygamy dating rule is to be clear about your expectations and issues. After all, to know which boundaries not to cross, you first need to be aware of what boundaries exist. This is why, when a problem arises, you shouldn’t get angry or store it in you, talk about it with your partner.

3. Always Use Protection

Did you know that… the STI rates in polygamous relationships are lower than for those in monogamous relationships? Do you know why? Because of this crucial polygamy relationship rule: use protection at all times.

Even though people in poly relationships have more sexual partners on average, they are more cautious when it comes to physical intimacy. The truth is that you are more exposed to STIs when being poly, so you should ensure that you and your partners are always protected from them.

4. Establish Ground Rules

The fourth polygamy dating rule on our list is quite simple. You need to establish ground rules with each partner at the beginning of your relationship. This way, you will avoid misunderstandings that could lead to jealousy or even break-ups.

5. Don’t Take Things Personally

Sometimes, your partner just doesn’t have time to meet you; it’s not that they don’t want to. A busy schedule is a characteristic trait of many poly people. At other times, your partner might break up with you, it doesn’t mean you’re any lesser, but they might just be looking for something else or even find it hard to maintain a relationship with all their partners. Hence, you shouldn’t take such things personally, they might happen, and it is fine.

Time to Put These Principles into Practice!

The above 5 rules are the ABC of polygamy, so remember about them when dating. They will help you build stronger relationships but also avoid disappointments and dangers. Thus, we believe that it’s crucial to follow them!

You might also read: Financial Etiquette in Polygamous and Polyamorous Dating

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Sister Wives Unveils a New Era of Tailored Dating Services

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Sister Wives

Phone: 1-601-514-0787

Email: contact@sisterwives.com

Website: www.sisterwives.com

________________________________________

Sister Wives® Expands Services: VIP Membership with Coaching Add-Ons and Professional Matchmaking

Sister Wives®, a leading platform founded in 2008 and officially registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), is ushering in a new chapter in dating services for the polygamous and polyamorous community. Long recognized for providing a safe, inclusive, and understanding environment, Sister Wives is evolving from a purely self-service dating model to a more personalized experience.

The platform continues to offer its Basic VIP Membership while introducing new optional coaching upgrades and a fully managed Professional Matchmaking service. These options are designed to support a range of relationship goals, from strategic coaching to curated introductions.

________________________________________

Responding to a Changing Dating Landscape

Since its inception, Sister Wives has supported people interested in polygamy, polyamory, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. As the community’s expectations have grown beyond simple search-and-message functionality, the platform has adapted to meet the desire for deeper support, coaching, and carefully facilitated introductions.

A company spokesperson explained that members expressed two distinct needs:

• Some prefer self-directed use of the platform, with the option to access coaching support.

• Others seek a full-service matchmaking experience.

This feedback shaped the updated service model:

• Basic VIP Membership with optional coaching add-ons

• Professional Matchmaking for hands-on, concierge-level support

________________________________________

VIP Membership: Platform Access with Optional Coaching

The VIP Membership remains the foundation of Sister Wives’ service, giving members full access to the platform and premium visibility. Members can now enhance this membership with coaching services, available as add-ons, including:

1. 1-on-1 Coaching Sessions – personalized guidance on profile optimization, messaging, and dating strategies.

2. Profile Review & Enhancement – professional input to increase visibility and match quality.

3. Exclusive Online Events & Webinars – select experiences included, with others available for purchase.

4. Discounted Upgrades – VIPs receive preferred pricing on coaching add-ons and matchmaking services.

This option is ideal for members who want autonomy but appreciate having expert guidance available when needed.

________________________________________

Professional Matchmaking: A Concierge Experience

For those seeking a premium, hands-on approach, Professional Matchmaking delivers the most personalized service Sister Wives has ever offered. Benefits include:

1. Dedicated Matchmaker Support – one-on-one guidance with a professional matchmaker.

2. Guaranteed Vetted Introductions – curated matches, each background-checked and lifestyle vetted.

3. Travel & Logistics Assistance – support for long-distance introductions and premium meeting experiences.

4. Lifestyle Add-Ons – styling, coaching, and other personalized services available by request.

5. Ongoing Relationship Coaching – continued support for long-term success.

________________________________________

Serving the Community Since 2008

Founded in 2008, Sister Wives has built a trusted reputation in the polygamous and polyamorous community. By blending digital convenience with expert support, the company remains committed to helping members build authentic, lasting connections.

A company spokesperson shared:

“Our members aren’t looking for casual swiping. They want clarity, compassion, and connection. With VIP coaching add-ons and professional matchmaking, we’re able to meet people wherever they are in their journey.”

________________________________________

Contact

To learn more about our VIP Membership, optional coaching, or professional matchmaking, visit www.sisterwives.com

 or contact:

• Email: contact@sisterwives.com

• Phone: 1-601-514-0787

________________________________________

About Sister Wives

Sister Wives is a trusted dating and matchmaking platform for individuals, couples, and groups exploring polygamy, polyamory, and ethical non-monogamy. With a commitment to privacy, compassion, and clarity, Sister Wives offers a mix of self-service features, coaching add-ons, and personalized matchmaking. The brand is trademarked with the USPTO and has proudly served the community for more than 17 years.

________________________________________

All other company and product names may be trademarks of their respective owners.

Polyamory, like monogamy, is a journey of love, connection, and commitment. But polyamorous relationships often come with unique challenges that need careful handling. Just as monogamous couples deal with disagreements, people in polyamorous setups also face conflicts that must be resolved. However, the ways to address these issues can differ a lot from typical monogamous approaches. In this detailed look, we explore conflict resolution in polyamory, including why disagreements happen and how to keep multiple connections harmonious. Join us to learn about the dynamics that support polyamorous harmony and the tools that can build long-lasting, fulfilling relationships.

Understanding the Genesis of Conflict in Polyamorous Relationships

Before trying to solve conflicts in polyamorous relationships, it’s important to understand where they come from. While many issues are the same ones you see in monogamous partnerships, polyamory can add extra layers that make problems more complicated. Below are some of the main causes of conflict unique to poly relationships:

1. Jealousy: The Double-Edged Sword of Multiple Connections

Jealousy in polyamory is a universal emotion, but its manifestation in polyamorous relationships can be more complex. The mere presence of multiple romantic or sexual partners inherently increases the potential for jealousy. Whether it's envy over the time a partner spends with someone else or insecurity about one's place in the network, jealousy can strain relationships. For instance, consider Maya, who finds herself feeling sidelined as her partner, Alex, dedicates more time to a new relationship. Without effective communication and reassurance, Maya's jealousy could escalate, leading to misunderstandings and resentment.

2. Diverse Attachment Styles: Navigating Emotional Landscapes

Attachment styles you’ll need to deal with in polyamory - secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—play a significant role in how individuals form and maintain relationships. In polyamory, the variety of attachment styles among multiple partners can create a complex emotional tapestry. For example, an anxious partner may seek constant reassurance, while an avoidant partner might value independence, leading to friction. Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial to preventing conflicts that arise from mismatched emotional needs.

3. Time Management: The Delicate Balance of Multiple Commitments

Managing time in a poly relationship is inherently more challenging in polyamorous relationships. Balancing the needs and schedules of multiple partners requires meticulous planning and flexibility. When one partner feels neglected or perceives an imbalance in time allocation, tensions can arise. Take the case of Jordan, who juggles three significant relationships. If one partner feels they are consistently receiving less attention, it could lead to feelings of inadequacy and conflict.

4. Poly-Specific Triggers: Beyond the Common Grounds of Monogamous Disputes

On top of dealing with jealousy, attachment styles, and time management, polyamorous relationships can face extra challenges like disagreements over boundaries, different ideas about commitment, and blending multiple social circles. These factors can increase potential conflicts, so it’s really important to use conflict resolution strategies designed specifically for the unique needs of poly relationships.

Strategies for Resolving Conflicts in Polyamorous Relationships

Resolving conflicts in polyamorous relationships takes a thoughtful approach that recognizes the complexity of caring for more than one partner at once. Although these challenges are unique, the ways to handle them can be both simple and meaningful. Here are some helpful strategies to promote harmony and understanding among everyone involved:

1. Embrace Non-Violent Communication (NVC): The Heartbeat of Healthy Dialogue

Non-violent communication is a cornerstone of effective conflict resolution in any relationship, but it holds particular significance in polyamory. NVC emphasizes empathetic listening and honest expression without blame or judgment. The framework consists of four stages:

o Observation: Clearly describe the situation without interpretation.

o Feeling: Express: your emotions related to the observation.

o Need: Identify the underlying needs connected to your feelings.

o Request: Make a specific request to address your needs.

For example, Maya might say to Alex and her other partners, "When I see you spending a lot of time with Jamie (observation), I feel anxious (feeling) because I need reassurance about our relationship (need). Could we set aside some time each week to connect more deeply (request)?" This approach fosters a safe space for all partners to share their feelings and needs without fear of escalation.

2. Mindful Timing and Setting: Creating the Optimal Environment for Discussion

Timing and setting are really important for successful conflict resolution. Talking about problems in the middle of a heated moment can make emotions run high and lead to arguments that don’t help. Instead, pick a calm, private place where everyone can have a real conversation. For example, scheduling a weekly check-in gives partners a set time to discuss any worries before they grow into bigger conflicts.

3. Respectful Communication: The Foundation of Mutual Understanding

Respect is important in every relationship, but it’s especially crucial in polyamorous ones where many viewpoints and emotions overlap. Keeping respect during disagreements makes conflicts more helpful and less harmful. This involves truly listening, acknowledging each other’s feelings, and avoiding rude language or personal attacks. Respectful communication builds trust and shows everyone’s commitment to solving problems together.

4. Seek Professional Counseling: Leveraging External Support

Sometimes, your own efforts to solve problems might not be enough, and getting help from a counselor can be a huge benefit. More and more counselors today understand the unique needs of polyamorous relationships. A trained therapist can offer unbiased advice, support better communication, and help partners handle complicated emotions. For example, if Maya and Alex are struggling with jealousy, a counselor who’s familiar with polyamory can guide them in building a stronger bond and dealing with any deeper insecurities.

5. Establishing Clear Boundaries: Defining the Rules of Engagement

Clear boundaries are really important in polyamorous relationships, since they make sure everyone’s needs and limits are respected. These can cover emotional, physical, and practical details of the relationships. For example, partners might agree on how much time they spend together, how much they share with friends or family, and how new partners are introduced. By setting clear boundaries, partners can avoid misunderstandings and have a guide for solving any problems that may come up.

6. Regular Check-Ins: Maintaining Open Lines of Communication

Having regular check-ins gives partners a chance to discuss their relationships, express concerns, and celebrate good things. These meetings help prevent small issues from growing into bigger problems. For example, a monthly family meeting where everyone shares how they feel can bring partners closer and make sure everyone knows their voice matters.

7. Cultivating Compersion: Celebrating Each Other’s Joys

Compersion, often seen as the opposite of jealousy, is about feeling genuinely happy when your partner is enjoying time with someone else. Developing compersion can really change how people look at their relationships, making them more positive and supportive. By encouraging each other’s happiness and celebrating each person’s connections, partners can ease jealousy and promote a sense of shared well-being.

The Importance of Collective Commitment in Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts in polyamorous relationships isn’t just one person’s job; it takes everyone working together. Each partner should be ready to communicate honestly, respect boundaries, and support each other’s needs. Without this teamwork, small problems can grow and put the whole group’s stability at risk.

Consider the story of Emma, Liam, and Noah, who are all in a triad relationship. When Emma started feeling overwhelmed by how much time Liam was spending with Noah, she used Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to talk about her concerns. She shared her feelings and needs in a respectful way and listened to Liam and Noah’s perspectives. Together, they decided on a more balanced schedule for everyone. Not only did this solve the immediate problem, but it also made their relationships stronger, showing how teamwork can bring people closer.

The Broader Implications of Effective Conflict Resolution in Polyamory

Learning to resolve conflicts in polyamorous relationships does more than help each couple or group. It also helps people become more accepting and understanding of nonmonogamous lifestyles in general. By showing good communication, mutual respect, and emotional awareness, polyamorous people and communities challenge the usual misunderstandings about nonmonogamy.

Additionally, the ideas behind polyamorous conflict resolution can be helpful for improving all kinds of relationships. By stressing clear communication, setting boundaries, and showing empathy, it encourages healthier interactions for everyone, no matter how their relationships are set up. By using these methods, people in polyamorous relationships not only strengthen their own connections but also help create a more inclusive and understanding society.

Embracing the Complexity of Polyamorous Harmony

Conflict can happen in any relationship, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous. But because polyamory involves its own special set of challenges, solving problems in these relationships requires empathy, clear communication, and commitment from everyone involved. By getting to the heart of what causes disagreements and using good strategies to address them, people in polyamorous relationships can handle the ups and downs of loving more than one person with strength and understanding.

In a world that often prefers simple answers and sameness, polyamorous relationships show that love can happen in many different ways. Working through problems together not only makes these bonds stronger, but also encourages people to accept love that goes beyond just two partners. As polyamorous communities keep standing up for their rights and challenging ideas about what love can be, the way they handle conflicts can guide us toward more peaceful and satisfying connections in an ever-changing world.v

Looking to Expand Your Poly Network? Explore Our Poly Dating App Today!

Whether you’re new to polyamory or have been practicing it for a while, it’s really important to meet people who understand and respect your relationship style. Our poly dating app helps you connect with partners who share your values and desires. Join our community today and start building meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

What are the most important rules on polyamory that you need to discuss in your relationship? Namely, consensual agreement, time management, boundaries, open communication, and…safe, intimate practices. In this article, we will look at these rules in more detail, we invite you to read on!

Examples of the Most Important Polyamory Rules

Without any further ado, let’s look at the most crucial rules you need to establish in your polyamorous relationship. Take a look below.

1. Consensual Agreement

Polyamory is all about consent, the rule that all partners should consent to a non-monogamous relationship should be the absolute cornerstone for you and your partners.

2. Time Management

When it comes to time management in polyamory, this can get quite complicated. You need to pay enough attention and spend time with all of your partners (equally or proportionally, depending on the type of your poly relationship). If you don’t do this, you might make your partner(s) feel neglected and/or insecure.

Therefore, you should establish clear rules regarding time management at the beginning of your polyamorous relationship. Remember to include time for yourself, your self-development, and hobbies, having several partners is fun, but that does not mean you should spend all of your time with them!

3. Boundaries

It’s also crucial that you establish clear boundaries at the start of your relationship. After all, your partners might have different poly attachment styles, so what works for one of them might be uncomfortable for the other.

You need to discuss this at the beginning of your relationship and decide on the do’s and don’ts for each of you. This is especially crucial when there is a conflict of interests, namely when one person’s needs would violate the second person’s boundaries, such a discussion will let you come up with a compromise that will make all of you satisfied and comfortable.

4. Open Communication

Why do you need to establish rules regarding open communication? Well, first of all, it will help you resolve conflicts in your poly relationship . But, it’s not just that.

Jealousy and insecurities in polyamory, that’s what makes open communication crucial. These two emotions are bound to appear at some point in your relationships, and the best way to deal with them is to talk them through. Hence, your polyamory rules should include open communication and the ability to talk about anything without being judged.

5. Safe Intimate Practices

Polyamory is different vs. open relationships, you don’t engage with partners outside of your network. Nevertheless, the number of partners may change and will generally be higher than for those who are monogamous. Therefore, it is crucial to establish rules regarding safe, intimate practices.

Thanks to this, you will avoid risk when broadening your network (or even when infidelity is concerned). Thus, discuss this with your partner(s) in advance!

6. People>Relationship

Finally, the last example of a rule you should establish in polyamory is one saying that people are more important than the relationship. Sometimes, you just don’t click; at other times, some conflicts cannot be resolved and divide particular partners in your relationship. In such cases, you should prioritize the well-being of each of your partners (and yours), at times; it might even be better to break up with one of them than to suffer in an unhappy relationship.

Ready to Put These Rules into Practice?

The above examples of rules to discuss in polyamory are the answers to the potential challenges you’ll need to overcome in your relationship. Therefore, it’s best to discuss them right away rather than to end up with a problem escalating to a full-on conflict later on.

Looking for more like-minded people for your poly relationship? Check out our poly dating app!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

What is a primary partner in polyamory? This is the partner with whom you share significant life commitments in a polyamorous relationship. What’s important is that you have a primary partner only in hierarchy polyamory—you could be in a multiple-person relationship without distinguishing between primary, secondary and tertiary partners. In this article, we will look at this in more detail. We invite you to read on.

What Is a Primary Partner in Polyamory?

The term primary partner is used in hierarchical types of polyamorous relationships - those that include an established structure of relationships between partners depending on how strong their bond is. The primary partner is the most important partner, one with the strongest bond and commitment.

What is important is that there might be different types of commitments between primary partners, and there are no established rules regarding what the relationship between them should look like. Below, you’ll find a list of potential commitments, though remember that not all of them need to be met, as it depends on the relationship dynamics.

• Living together (although you can live with a nesting partner without them being your primary!).

• Sharing finances.

• Spending most time together.

• Prioritizing this partner over the others.

• Having kids together.

• Being married.

Does Every Polyamorous Relationship Involve Primary Partners?

Technically, primary partners are reserved for hierarchical poly relationships, ones where there is a clear line drawn between the importance of each partner. However, it’s possible to have a primary partner even in non-hierarchical relationships, though many people are often unaware of having one.

If you prioritize one of your partners in your network, they are likely to be your primary - even if you do this subconsciously. Therefore, although the term is reserved for hierarchical relationships, it can go beyond them.

Primary Partner in Polyamory = Stronger Bond and Relationship

You need to remember that a primary partner in polyamory is someone with whom your bond is stronger than with the others, not someone with whom you share more commitments. Naturally, those commitments mentioned in the first section of this article often match a stronger relationship, but it does not have to be in all cases.

For instance, you can have nesting partners, those with whom you live. They don’t necessarily need to be your primaries, you might live with them out of pure convenience. At the same time, the fact that you have kids with a particular partner does not automatically make them your primary - you can have and raise kids in a polyamorous relationship with multiple partners without growing a stronger bond.

This goes the other way around. You don’t need to live and share finances with your partner for them to be your primary - what matters is your emotional connection. Therefore, while in theory, the concept seems pretty simple, in practice, defining whether a partner in a polyamorous relationship is your primary or not requires a deep insight into yourself, your emotions, and your bond.

Time to Define Your Own Rules!

As you can see, the idea of a primary partner is quite complex and often difficult to grasp - unless you live in a clearly defined, hierarchical poly relationship. But, do you even need a primary or secondary partner? It all depends on you - some prefer to have one most important partner, while others might find this concept restricting, so you should choose whatever floats your boat!

Looking for new partners? See our polyamory dating app!

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc

Managing jealousy and insecurity is one of the most difficult challenges in polyamorous relationships. After all, we’re still human, and these feelings are natural for us. At the same time, the nature of polyamory means that you will possibly “share” your partner with other people. So, how do you cope with these feelings and overcome insecurity? Find it out in this article!

Understand the Feeling of Insecurity in Polyamory

First thing first. To effectively cope with insecurity, you need to understand what causes it in polyamory. Several reasons can cause jealousy in polyamorous relationships, including:

• Unmet needs - Insecurity may be caused when you feel that your partner does not meet your needs. This might be especially problematic if your partner meets the same needs for others in his poly network.

• Sense of inadequacy - Another possible source of insecurity in polyamory is your partner triggering your sense of inadequacy. Mind that it does not mean that they make you feel inadequate, but rather intensify this feeling that you already have. This might be caused by, for instance, comparing yourself to their other partners.

• Fear of abandonment and anxiety - Here, the case is simple—it’s not what your partner does with other people that causes the feeling of insecurity; it’s the pure fact that they could possibly leave you for them.

• Distrust - Whether valid or not, distrust may also lead to insecurity.

To cope with insecurities in your poly relationship, you need to find out what causes them. Only then can you apply adequate measures.

How to Deal with Insecurities in a Poly Relationship?

So, how can you battle your insecurities and embrace compersion in polyamory? We have prepared a few tips that will help you with this. Take a look below.

Talk with Your Partner(s)

The best way to deal with insecurities in a polyamorous relationship is to talk them through with your partner(s) and find a solution together. This is especially true if you have unmet needs and struggle with distrust.

Your conversations should be open; you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about your needs. When it comes to trust, the more you observe your partner react to your concerns and expectations, the more trust you should build. However, remember not to seek reassurance - this won’t help you get rid of the feeling of insecurity. Instead, tackle this feeling at its roots and find ways to eliminate the causes of insecurity and jealousy together!

Self-Help

Sometimes, the reason behind your insecurities is rooted deeply within you (e.g., a sense of inadequacy). In such situations, you need to cope with them yourself.

Self-help resources are a great aid in this process. Books about jealousy and online polyamory resources, like podcasts, videos, or articles, will all prove extremely helpful in dealing with your insecurities. In them, you will find ways to deal with your emotions when they occur, as well as learn about the most common challenges in poly relationships and the best solutions to them.

Engage with the Poly Community

You might also seek help from other poly people in the community. For instance, our “blogs” section offers you a forum where you can ask your questions anonymously and seek answers from others…or read their posts and learn something on your way. You can also make new poly friends using our polyamory app - who knows; perhaps they will turn into your additional partners?

Therapy

Finally, if nothing works, it might be beneficial to speak about your polyamory insecurities with a trained professional. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, and it can help you when other measures fail.

Ready to Break Free from Insecurity?

Follow our tips, and you’ll manage your insecurities much more effectively. Remember, your feelings won’t disappear overnight—it will take some time to cope with them, but in the end, you will be in a much happier relationship(s).

You may also read: What Can Polyamory Teach Us About Attachment Styles?

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc